ITT: things that bother you about your current campaign

ITT: things that bother you about your current campaign.
>my dm is a huge wow/blizzard player and its so obvious, every encounter is clearly shaped by that
>all the other players love to keep secrets from eachother, including backstorys, flaws, and items they may have (they dont just keep it from my character, they keep it from me as a person)

Not saying you're wrong for wanting to know, but why do you want to know what everybody .has?

>dislike my character, but he's the only one filling his particular role in the party

I guess for me the game should be more about our team vs the DM. I tend not to enjoy secrecy amongst the party.
But i know this is personal preference. Just like the WOW thing, some people may enjoy it, but it bothers me a bit

>We have a munchkin that is playing a mage after they bitched for an hour about their previous character they made "not being efficient enough in combat". He never shuts up about the abilities he has/plans to have and has little to no backstory beyond "I'm a drifter and I go wherever the wind takes me."
>The witch in our party constantly wants to fuck/flirt with everything. She even hit on the old man of the party.

I like the campaign, otherwise. Good story, and the GM is really doing swell despite it being her first time being a GM.

Eh, some secrecy is fine.
It allows more proper RP, and a few moments of spotlight for some players when the cat's out the bag.
As long the secrecy is towards the other players and not toward the DM -and- the group , it's fine.
For example, I had a character that during his free time, went out to do massive amounts of charity and had also quite a bit of backstory which justified some of his most "looney" habits and phobias. Little of all that came up in game, only when the other players inquired on it, but when it did it made for some pretty good RP sessions.
It's less about secrecy and being against team-playing , and more about RP and development.

>Make something special happen with a specific player in mind.
>Player happens to be absent every time.
>This happens with different characters but is more common than not.

I'm still new to gming so this feels awful to me. I'm sure the party is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt for being new but damnit, if everyone showed up each time it wouldn't feel so impersonal.

>We have a player who keeps trying to push his characters as being the party de facto leader despite the fact that he's proved time and time again that half the plans he comes up with are terrible

Tell him this in character?

If you want to bitch about your DM, DM your own game.

As a DM it drives me nuts to hear players in other games bitching over a dm's actions.

The only reason the game exists is usually the DM. Most DMs desperately want to play the game too, but are stuck propping up targets for players.

If your DM is unsatisfying, just don't play, start your own game and try to do better.

>>my dm is a huge wow/blizzard player and its so obvious, every encounter is clearly shaped by that
Kinda undeservedly pleased with myself for not knowing what you mean by that.

A little bit from the otehr side- I don't like it when I play with people who want to look at my sheet in the greatest of detail.
>Ooh, what feats do you have
>Ooh, how much HP do you have
>Ooh, what spells have you chosen
>Ooh, my strength is really high what's yours

The fact that it doesn't exist.

...

>We have a munchkin that is playing a mage after they bitched for an hour about their previous character they made "not being efficient enough in combat". He never shuts up about the abilities he has/plans to have and has little to no backstory beyond "I'm a drifter and I go wherever the wind takes me."

Fuck man, I hate this. I had a player who couldn't stop talking about how he did the most damage of the party and how another character was useless because she didnt do enough damage.

I don't mind that.

What does trigger me is when they don't take abilities that will help the team.
>"Alright Wizard/Cleric/Barbarian/Bard/Rogue/literally fill in the blank, we know where the DM is sending us, so if you take [FEATURE] it'll save us a lot of struggle."
>NONE OF THEM DO IT
>Then they complain when the one character that did is getting more screen time

Same desu

It's always the fucking powergamers who have a super-optimized monster of a build that ask after your sheet. They clearly don't actually give a shit, they just want to make sure you understand that their character is better than yours at thing X, Y and Z.

I'll never forgive my GM for telling the two new people who have never played Pathfinder (or any rpg) before to both play animal companion characters (druid and ranger).

Every round of combat is still:
>Druid takes 10 minutes deciding what to do before casting some druid spell. The last 5 minutes generally involve him trying to figure out how to cast the spell and what it does, even if he's used it every fucking session so far.
>Ranger begins by taking 5 minutes to understand how the grid works (once again) before asking what to do and inevitably learning that she should [attack] the [enemy] with [her weapon]. She then, just like last round, asks which dice you roll to attack and what numbers on your sheet you add to it.
>Druid's Lion companion is up next on initiative. The Druid PC goes back to brainstorming for 5 minutes before choosing to full attack the monster next to him, then rolls every attack and damage die individually in order.

>her first time being a GM.
>her

>Party consists mostly of relatively normal characters
>One guy comes to the table with a homebrew race or fluffs up an existing race to drastically visually distinguish himself from the rest of the group

Why would your GM do this? This is such a bad idea. The first thing the GM should have suggested is reading the goddamn book, if they don't know how to into grids. This is painful. This is extremely painful.

I can't even describe these two taking a round of combat in one post.

>Druid takes a full minute before rolling dice to do Power Attack and BAB math for his lion in his head. Every time. He finally works out how much damage he does and we proceed to the other animal companion.
>Ranger's wolf is next on initiative. The Ranger PC goes back into the tank while staring at the grid and wondering what she can attack/how grids work. Some eventually tells her to [bite] something. She then asks which dice you roll to attack with the wolf (spoiler: it's the same one you just rolled for your ranger and the same one you've rolled every time before this) and then, perhaps in imitation of the druid, spends a full minute working out what numbers to add to the attack and damage.
>It is now 20+ minutes into the first round of combat and someone besides these two looks away from their phones (Oh are we still fighting?) to figure out the long-forgotten initiative order for everything else.

That it might just die after two years because one player's work schedule might be altered to make him unavailable when the other player actually IS available.

Especially since things are building towards some climactic battles.

>this fucking squirrel had us search for her friend around the town for days
>no end in sight

...

>all the players are ready to play
>haven't played in a while, everyone is excited
>only thing stopping the campaign from starting is the GM not being ready
>GM doesn't even have a real excuse, he's just lazy
>GM is me
I don't deserve happiness

>GM puts zero effort forward
>GM is a waste of space
>GM's only friends are in the play group
>GM is an awkward retard failing college classes
>GM is a disappointment to their parents.
>GM spends all day at home, unemployed, and writing bad fanfiction
>GM is me

Not really campaign related but good to get it off my chest in a place where I can be anonymous
>Playing in pathfinder group
>GM is my best friend
>Introduce friend from school who I'm crushing on to play with us
>GM friend knows I'm into her and is cool with being my wingman
>She ends up spending a lot of time with him in and out of our LGS
>Texts me one day telling me she came on to him and if its cool that he goes ahead with it
>die inside a little
>99% sure they fucked
>Get pissed off at him one day for a stupid reason
>take a swing because I was stupid and emotional
>it ends badly and he tells me to go home and cool off
>Tells me today its cool if I want to keep playing with them as long as it doesn't happen again
>Want to play games with my friend, but die inside when I see them together

She wasnt even my girlfriend so I can't really be butthurt about it, but I still feel betrayed and hurt. Pretty depressed about the entire thing and feel like a beta bitch

Let me guess -- he just got married and/or had a kid.

No. His second job is just considering moving him to afternoons on the weekends instead of mornings.
Our sessions are Saturday afternoon.
The other player's schedule is inflexible.

>oneitis
You know you doomed yourself, right? Especially considering you're the one that didn't make a move.

That the DM completely sucks ass at combat encounters, and doesn't understand how to set up combat for high-level characters. His only redeeming quality is that he's a godly storyteller and world-builder.
> Combat consists entirely of X stupidly large monster
> Said monster has an AC of no more than 21, regardless of level
> The entire campaign was almost exclusively "Enormous monster of the week"
> We kill said monster in like 3 turns every damn time. He gets butthurt.
> We ended the campaign with an encounter that literally consisted of a single Level 20 Antipaladin, and 6 level 20 clerics... All of which had only basic plate armour...
> He rage-quitted the entirety of the 2-year long campaign when we roflstomped the fight..

Meanwhile in my own campaigns
> Have a Backboard behind my screen of monster pools, all models
> Setup encounters on a large table by placing tiles and revealing tiles as players move. Mental-map of locations of monster "GROUPS"
> Groups contain balanced mixtures of different classes of monsters.. For example a group of 4 Orc Archers and 2 Axe-orcs.
> Players aggro groups by discovering them, then the monsters roll perception immediately. They roll perception against the party stealth(Average of stealth rolls across the board).
> Depending on how loud or easy the combat is, draw monsters away from adjacent areas in order to reinforce main combat
> This forces the party to get used to the idea of using their environment, and staying quiet/sneaky if they want easier combat.
> Ignore turn order rules entirely, because initiative is stupid. "Players Turn, Monster's Turn" just to keep it fast.
> Combat encounters are large and complex, but then they also last no more than 30 minutes to get done by this method..

>No players
I had a group of five, one was a minmaxing munchie who rerolled again and again when his behavior got his characters in trouble before I eventually gave him the boot on attempt three, I genuinely think he's incapable of "not" powergaming. We had another player who was quite good, they got their face eaten by a werewolf due to getting into an ill advised fight and haven't been able to put together the drive to make a new character.

I know, she told me she had a boyfriend but that it wasn't working out. I (wrongly as it turns out) assumed that once she broke things off with him I would make my move. I guess I waited too long

Nigga, that is very gay

Nigga I know thats why I'm sad about it

This is what our gm does, when we are in combat and anyone tries to think he says this is realtime you dont get to think, you had everyone elses turn to think, so when combat begins and the first person has to think fast, as though it is actual combat, it keeps everyone paying attention and works very well for those situations.

>this 16-18 year old idiot who thinks girls are anything but interchangable
Two things. First, find a girl, even if she's ugly. It will inherently make you more attractive to other females. Second, if a girl doesn't like you, meet someone else until you meet someone who also likes you. Statistically you're bound to find love if you're persistent, just don't be a whiny self-defeating bitch about it. All you posters have the same "Oh everyone's awful but me" philosophy that's objectively wrong.

>GM has you keep rolling and rolling for some mundane task until you eventually succeed no matter what.

WHY AM I ROLLING 30 FUCKING DICE?

>Running murder-mystery / courtroom drama scenario
>Previous session, party finds a bunch of clues that hint that the real culprits may be the really suspicious guys they encountered before
>Session ends, party seemed to be gearing up to go investigate these guys
>Suddenly next session they decide to abandon that plan and move on to the trial
>"We can prosecute this guy after we prove our client innocent"
>They don't seem to realize none of the evidence they gathered so far is strong enough to hold water in court
>mfw the party was doing so well but suddenly dropped the ball at the moment of truth
Not that it's going to ruin the campaign or anything, I already accounted for the possibility of failure, but it seemed like everyone was hit with the idiot ball after they had a really good streak of successes.

M8 I'll be honest, this sounds like what I did to a friend of mine. We had a bit of a falling out over it, but I wasn't the GM and being considerate, me and the girl left the group for a while. My friend recently got married to a different girl who is a perfect match for him and they're currently living happily. If he can make it, so can you. Just get yourself out there lad.

Kinda peeved at how little damage I deal compared to the Jedi/Gunslinger, but I guess it's OK given I stay in the back, snipe, and never take damage (making my 150ish HP a little unnecessary).

Also I still haven't gotten a character arc yet, which isnt the greatest. Though one of the other guys who hadn't looks to be getting one, so still holding out hope.

That is an elegant solution, although I'd be lenient with it if I were DM.
Instead I just bear every three-hour-long-encounter-that-I-make-two-rolls-during while browsing the internet on my phone and slowly nurturing my resentment towards pathfinder.

>DMing campaign
>BBEG is Lawful Dick
>Honorable and all, but will fuck you over if you aren't
>Hates one PC in particular for story reasons
>One PC realizes this
>Makes deal with BBEG to kill him for personal gain
>Has been spending fucking weeks trying to plan out how to kill the character of one of his best friends
>Mfw the dumb motherfucker could've easily gotten a wish out of the deal and he instead asked for a book on blacksmithing katanas
>Mfw the katana he already has is considered a legendary weapon and he's acting like I gave him a shit-covered stick
>Mfw he should totally realize that BBEG is gonna fuck him over for being dishonorable

I know, one day I'm just going to wake up and be over it. Its just not going to be today. Thank you random internet stranger

>GM describes everything our characters do
>Our characters, out of whom two are well versed travelers and older than the dirt they tread on, apparently don't know common monsters unless we have specifically stated in our backstory that we have
>Fumbles in 5e

It's his first time DMing properly and I do consider him a proper friend, but goddamn does these things get right up my ass and irritate like an unwiped ass after a particularly chili laden dinner.

Quit the group. Do it. Now.

Why do you say that?

Mhh some grognard almost three times my age I'm 20 has somehow trapped me into running a campaign for him which should of ended many months ago. The problem is I cannot say no to him, well not to anyone really and I would feel bad because his designed an entire castle for himself and has put ludicrous amounts of thought into the backstory of his dwarf barbarian. It's also difficult to challenge him and the rest of the party, since (were playing AD&D 2nd edition btw) he chose an extremely niche character race and class kit (archetype) for his character which gives him immunities ALL to poison, illusions, most spells and paralyzation, as well as absurd bonuses to hit and damage when he is battle raging. And on top of that his CON is 19 giving him regeneration and almost 100 hp and his only level 5 at this point. I like playing with him and the party but it's tiring at this point and I would like to start something new, however I can imagine there are still many more sessions ahead of me.

yes, I see you noticed the female pronoun, well done.

>> Ignore turn order rules entirely, because initiative is stupid. "Players Turn, Monster's Turn" just to keep it fast.
Is this all players at once and then all monsters at once?
I love doing away with D&D rules to expedite things, this is tempting me but any PCs with improved initiative might be butthurt by it.

I know how you feel. I have the best party right now, where everyone knows each other's secrets, and some of us even know the GM's secrets, and everyone still plays as if they don't. Feels so damn good.

>Player wants to roll for everything
>Party arrives in town and wants to find an inn to rest, "Do I roll an INT check to find where the inn would be, or is there a streetwise thing for that?" "No, it's not hard to find the sign with 'Inn' on it"
>Party is traveling and finds traveling merchant, "Do I roll an intimidate check?" "No, why? Are you trying to threaten him?" "Well no, just, how do I greet someone?" "Just say 'hi' to him" "Alright, I say hello and that we are traveling, do I roll a perception thing?" "No, no need to right now." "Alright, do I roll to bluff to get clues from him?"

I kind of thought it was a joke at first, but I'm pretty sure he read a section of the player's handbook and kind of assumed the entire game of DnD is nothing but rolling dice for mundane tasks.

I find it works with smaller groups, but the house rule I use for this is that players use the highest initiative role on their "team" versus a monster team initiative. This way high-initiative players are "team players" by giving their comrades a heads up and leading the charge, as it were.

I love my players and am pretty blessed, but some little things that annoy me a lot:
>trying to tell other players what they should do when they happen to not be around in character
I always stop this, but at some points it really hurt the experience, especially because the female player in our party gets talked over easily.
>one guy always coming 15-20 minutes later
god damnit, its not the end of the world but its just a dick move
>a guy thats just not that brilliant playing the hyper smart upstart Ventrue Vampire
jeah, we all try really hard to make him the party schemer and sly snake, but sometimes it takes me as a GM giving him a shitton of "hints" to start manipulating anyone.

This is more of a "That DM" than "Current campaign" but it's still annoying
>DM fights us on anything we try and do that isn't directly related to the main plot
>I'll stress this, he isn't railroading us, because if we decided to take an episode out to go around a town and find out lore and talk to people and buy stuff, or even if we literally just did nothing at all in character, he'd be fine with it, no problem, it's character development or whatever.
>The problem arises whenever the party actually tries to do something that isn't on his plan
>For instance, corrupt city treasurer, my warlock decided to go magical punisher on his ass because the DM set him up as very haughty and unlikeable, and through some talking at the bar, we found out he was very old and had health problems, should be a surgically precise, easy kill to rid the town of a large portion of corruption right?
>Wrong
>Every character in town also said "I wouldn't go after him if I were you, it'd bring chaos to the town" or some variation
>I figured this would be a reasonable price to pay for excising the taint of this corruption from the town
>On the night of assassination
>Everything goes wrong
>All the information is suddenly wrong, the Guards are actually twice the size of what they were yesterday, we just didn't see half of them apparently
>The mansion has dogs now too
>All of the doors are locked with magical unpickable locks
>All the servants in the manor are for some reason gifted with supernatural senses, detecting us immediately and fighting us to the death for the master of the manor who treats them like shit
>Guards aren't even warned they're just already here
>Finally after running from them and rolling several high rolls to find the douche we wanted to kill, we found him in the basement
>Apparently he got better overnight and is now a young hulk hogan instead of the sick old man he was yesterday
I'm fucking sick of it but I can't fucking say anything and I can't leave.

>GM can't balance encounters properly
>GM is shit at setting up things in advance so we end up on expeditions that last forever because his vague framework of a story takes a turn even he didn't expect, which lasted 3 sessions
>GM is suicidally depressed and chronically paranoid, whilst refusing to seek treatment
>GM has issues with interacting with new individuals and this is becoming more and more prevalent in daily life
>GM has become angry and toxic over the last few months inexplicably despite normally being fairly chill, and increasingly vocal about these things
>GM made a cool setting into lolrandumb because he was afraid to tell some of his players that they needed to cut shit out, as it was detracting from the campaign
>GM has issues with self-esteem to the point where he halfway thinks that he's being lied to so we can spare his feelings

So yeah....

We've tried. It just keeps happening in other games, though.

are you a member of my campaign? Tom?

Nope
Another, user. Sorry mate

Odd, you just described my DM perfectly. Just pile control issues stemming from his mother on top of all the rest, with a healthy sprinkle of SJW.

> DM gives out magic items and other variuos loot like candy.
> Players are always trying to do the most over the top bullshit, and the GM actively encourages it.
> Every semi serious character attempted to be played ends up becoming a joke/punching bag for comedic effect
> too many players holy fuck
>Its D&D

Overall its not a terrible time, but part of me wishes to have a grand adventure where there actually feels like there are stakes and some level of challenge.

>> Ignore turn order rules entirely, because initiative is stupid. "Players Turn, Monster's Turn" just to keep it fast.
You ain't ignoring rules at all, you're just using a variant right in the DMG. Also nice xcom. Do you show your players the map or just describe shit to them.

Oh and I almost forgot the biggest one
>We meet a mortal form of a different god or decedent of a god every other session and its long since stopped feeling special outside of they might be the only things the DM would be willing to use to kill us if we where not too busy bowing before them for free gifts.

I'm in two 5E campaigns right now.

>The DM constantly throws monsters at us that are way above our level
>At least one person always dies in every encounter
>Stuck as slaves cause we were captured by pirates that were once again like 3 levels higher then us and outnumbered.
>As slaves lose most our items
>Get a choice to be slave gladiators in a roman coliseum or be part of an angels army for a year

Overall I wish he makes encounters less difficult. He does this all the time and I swear he gets railroads us or its just the feeling I get for being stuck on a ship then being slaves for most of the campaign.

The second campaign.

>Current year politics
>Trying to keep my mouth shut cause everyone else at the table is having a good time about it

That's about it for the second one. Bottom of the barrel facebook memes about current politics where I put on a fake smile. Much rather have this campaign though cause their is more choice.

This is more of a "That Guy" than "Current campaign" but it's still annoying
>I've got a pretty good group; they do character development, they learn about the lore of the setting.
>That guy, a warlock, decides he's gonna kill an important NPC b/c he's "haughty".
>Mind you, dude isn't even evil. He's just old and crotchety, he's got connections all over town and pretty much holds the place together economically.
>Anyway, the warlock has it out for this old man for some reason.
>So this guy goes around town talking to all of the party's contacts about how he's gonna kill this old man, so pretty much they all tell him it's not a good idea.
>Player doesn't get the hint. They go and scout out the dude's mansion and see a few guards.
>A few days later they go back, and surprise, word has gotten to the old guy that some murder-hobo has been asking lots of suspicious questions about him so dude hires a bunch of extra guards, gets some dogs, and even cashes in a favor to get some magical locks.
>Warlock is furious that the mansion doesn't have the same level of protection as before there was an imminent threat.
>Party goes along with and they do pretty well, considering.
>Old man hears the alarms and goes to the basement to hide, grabbing a potion the court alchemist promised would protect him.
>The party kill the last of the guards (again, not evil, even though the warlock keeps going on and on about ridding the town of corruption) and dude drinks the potion, so he can actually put up a fight (I assume the party didn't want to just stab a helpless old man).
>Warlock all mad that they actually have to fight their target instead of just smothering him with a pillow on his deathbed.

He was not a crotchety old man he had people killed on the reg because he saw them as political rivals.

Sam?

Negative again user, the only other "poster" in my group is mostly full of shit, and he doesn't actually come here, as far as I van actully gather

>group wants to break the mold on everything
>"user! We arnt just a single body with 4 heads! Don't railroad us! Let us split apart!"
>FINE. You all do all this other shit alone because you want to keep secrets in character.
>"uhg. You have been on player 2s part forever"
>player 3 has been watching Youtube videos for 30 minutes
>player 4 has been trying to meta their character into player ones part
>player 1 has no reason to be split up other then trying to seem busy

Fuck all of you. What did you think would happen? You have gotten so into your special snowflake mindset that you are now transcending the need for a group. Fuck you all.

> as I can actually gather
Sorry, I'm a shit tier phone poster

for a second im wondering if this is one of my players. im guilty of taking a lot of lore from warcraft.

we have something similar but he just uses an obscure race from the monstrous humanoid book

Yep, the GM is a female. The groups I'm in almost always have at least 2 girls in there, and they normally do surprisingly well.

>We didn't finish it by semester end because people kept getting our weekly session cancelled
>The end of our effective final session was me being salty as fuck about 5e being trash for high level narrative

>First time DM + six players, half of which are new or inexperienced
I like the people but holy fuck does this take forever. For example, I was stunned for five rounds one combat and it took the rest of that session plus the first two hours of the next one until I could act. Fun.
The biggest problem is that the DM isn't self-assured or familiar enough to expedite things by playing the "I'm in charge this works how I say it works" card so a couple players who overestimate their knowledge of the system routinely start pointless rules arguments that last 10-20 minutes.

>At least one person always dies in every encounter
kek
this campaign sounds great.

I bought a bag of 1000 ball bearings and kept tossing them at anything suspicious or dangerous. at first he made me roll to hit but eventually he said just roll a d6 to see how many you waste before you hit it. (assuming it wasnt in battle or had a time constraint)

This is why I like the Mutants and Masterminds system. Even in combat you can just do a take 10 and if it works it works. It means that your super strong dude will never be able to fail lifting a car above his head while the street level dude still has to roll for it.

>all the other players love to keep secrets from eachother, including backstorys, flaws, and items they may have (they dont just keep it from my character, they keep it from me as a person)
I've played and ran games with a group like this and I HATED it. It turns the campaign into featureless gruel.
In my case they may as well have been NPCs, and it just destroyed my experience as a GM because a huge part of the fun for me is working with them to stitch them into things as they develop and have hooks and adventures relevant to the characters, and engaging to the players. I develop things bespoke. If you bring nothing to the table there's nothing good to work from and it *will* be more generic and detached.
And if you actually have a character you developed that you care about and want to play as, and then just avoid using their characteristics out of some misguided attempt at being mysterious it doesn't make you shrewd--it makes you boring to play with.

Right, okay, that's the past. As for *current* campaigns: I've got a Marvel Heroic campaign that I probably won't ever resolve because the game expects you to have preplanned arcs and for you to steer the party around--to benignly railroad. As someone who had to pull together a premise on short notice (curse your gunshyness, Jacob!) things have meandered pretty hard and the disappointing climax would be worse than just jumping to other things everybody is more interested in. I've felt like I let everybody down after every session, and especially now that there's not going to be a proper ending.

see I'm in the same boat as this user.

I hate it when the other players do nothing but be on their phone. Especially when there's combat or important RP going on. If you're not interested then leave the game. I also hate the character who does nothing but steal things and then get pissed when the other PCs tell him to knock it off.

Not about my current campaign but given that this is a de facto "That GM" thread, I'll post this.

Warning, wall of text.

>Go to a tabletop games convention
>Join an experimental 5e game - More on the experimental part later
>Get to the game
>"Guys could you wait for a while? The character sheets aren't ready"
>First red flag
>We wait for 30 or so mins until he had the sheets ready
>"This is a steampunk setting, so guns are allowed. Pick a character and name them."
>Thought that was cool. Pick the monk, give it a thoughtful chinese name >Wait a bit more
>Wait
>Wait
>...
>"You guys are ready?"
>"We were waiting for you"
>"Er, okay"
>Game starts
>Long story short, we (all of us except me from the baker's guild) had to overthrow a tyrant from his position over a city which had a slum district, closed to the outside world. Said tyrant would be in a parade in a week.
>"Okay, now you must come up with a plan"
>Awkward silence, I have to start acting or nobody else will
>We RP without input from the GM, and try to come up with something out of our asses.
>End up with a decent plan
>A guy comes in. GM gives no name, and he fucking gives us pointers and a shitty "you won't get paid if you fail" motivation
>We hear female screams
>Run to its origin, somebody's in distress
>We find a female body with clear signs of having been raped, five guards hitting a second female, and three more guards fucking gangbanging a third female, in the middle of the street
>Get physically sick for a moment
>We manage to get the surprise round
>Player throws an arrow, natural 1
>"The guards notice the arrow and look at you guys. The surprise round is over."
>My turn finally

(to be continued)

>have to play over the phone once every week/every other week
>one player, with me as the DM
>player specifically built a character that's fairly hard to challenge gainfully, using shapeshifting and plane-shifting shenanigans
>I'm invested in the story, and so is he, it's just, with little or no challenge, it seems to be alternating between a snail's pace and leaps and bounds
>having to constantly up the challenge of the game to provide any challenge; literally just statted the three-way bastard child of a Titan(Titanfall), the SPARK robots from XCOM 2, and the MEC Suits from XCOM to serve as a boss/miniboss
>the only time anything seems to have any effect on the character is if the character is immediately terror-stricken by it(psi enemies, giant robots), angered at its presence(one enemy in particular that hates the character for backstory reasons), or if the character wants to have sex with it

>Everybody went for the guards who were hitting the girl. EVERYBODY. So I went my way and attacked one of the guys who were raping the girl by his back using a sword
>Get a decent roll, both attack and damage
>"You hit and slash his back and arm. He screams in pain and runs away."(I think that he also said that I literally tore the arm apart, but I'm going to omit it)
>We finish the fight without anything odd happening. The guys grabbed some of the guns the guards were holding. Nobody cares for the girls.
>Except me. I removed my shirt and gave it to the raped woman. I then offered her a hand and she rejected every other attempt to help because the dead woman was her daughter. Decide to stop trying after the second try.
>We go back to planning
>Rogue needs a contact in the slums
>Get a natural 20
>"You have the perfect contact for this task!"
>We all go together to the slums and lie our way in
>Get to his contact, the queen of the underworld
>She's super friendly with him, an acquaintance
>We start talking, she offers tea
>Nobody was suspicious, except me. I smell it. It's odd, and my intuition says not to trust her. I reject it.
>She leaves
>After a while, everyone starts getting dizzy, but me. They faint.
>Somebody breaks in. It's the lady with some guards. "You will never be able to overthrow the ruler!"
>I try to fight back, attempt some acrobatics to jump into the air and slash vertically

(continued)

Currently in two games

Game one
> Five players, only three have any personality, only two do things besides follow the lead of the leader
> As only I do things, I have become defacto leader but try to not steal the show and usually give people tasks and then go off and do my own shit
> GM is GF, so get special treatment which detracts from story
> I know I sound like a faggot for those two
> One player is a giant fuckwit who does nothing but reference things nobody cares about, Dank Souls, and something about a "sticky chair"


Other game
> GM thinks the Horde from WoW is as cool as it gets
> Campiagn is one trip from a "cool" set piece to another
> Plays anime music for references to in-universe magic
> One player is a vampire and is conspicuous as fuck
> Was surprised when my monster hunter shot at the immaculate beauty who smelled like perfume in a dead city and was super confident, as well as disobeyed a "don't move" while being threatened

I mean, could be worse. I'm also usually DM, so I feel autismal buttrage when there's DMing mistakes.

>Acrobatics roll: Success. Attack roll: Failed.
>"Uh, don't I have Advantage here?"
>"Eh... Uh... Fine then, roll again"
>Fail again
>"You smash your head on the ceiling and fall to the floor squirming. I try to attack you... *roll* And I succeed. The guards hit you in such a way that you faint."
>No attack roll, no HP deduction, no nothing, just "You faint"
>"Uh, what? Can't I fight back?"
>"No, and that's the experimental part of the game. They can take you off as easily as you can take them off."
>Fuck
>Each time, feel like I should run from this game
>We're taking to the jail. I wake up, and try to fight the guys who were holding me captive
>Fail, get thrown in
>After a while, everybody else gets called by a guard to go elsewhere
>I get called apart
>Decide to bail on the game, arguing that I had to deal with an urgency
>Run away as far as a I could and drink some coffee to end the bitter loss of time

And this was the story where I lost my time roleplaying in a shitty game.

Thank you for losing your time reading to this too.

>having emotions is gay
I speak from experience: this shit will make you emotionally retarded and you'll hit a point where you hate not being equipped to tell people what you actually feel about things. No man is an island.

>Playing L5R
I just don't really like the system. I really wanted to run Shadowrun or Iron Kingdoms. But it was put to a vote and I was overruled.

This, it's so much more satisfying when you hide secrets from characters and the other players can appreciate that. Especially if the player hints at it and focuses on it but no one else knows so it's just empty and boring to them.

I too have this problem. What's worse is that most of our table consists of various kinds of artist, meaning most of our characters are on premise fairly unique. If this guy's character isn't doing something better than everyone else all the time, then they start getting surly and eventually bitchy about "being useless".

>I
GMs that say "I" about monsters are 90% sure to be horrible

Can't recall if he really said "I" or "The guards", this happened some weeks ago.

But he was horrible nonetheless.

He kicked off a game with randoms at a convention by having town guards murderrape civilians in the streets?
That is bold.

>We're taking to the jail
We're been taken* to the jail

Holy shit I'm tired

Extremely so. And it made me physically sick.

Just imagine if any of us was new to roleplaying. And the GM had no way to know that beforehand. It would've left a terrible taste.

If he doesn't it will almost always create bad feelings and fuck everything up for everyone. Best course would be to tell the GM that user had been interested but was distancing himself so there won't be any awkwardness in the group that could potentially fuck the whole thing up and destroy the group. This is compounded by the fact that user already got in a half assed fight with his buddy, the GM. I can guarantee that if user doesn't abandon ship we'll probably hear about him bitching about how his GM stole "his" girl and ruined his life.

t. user who had friends fight over pussy

Personally I never ask if I need to roll for anything unless it is super obvious (like we encounter an enemy so I ask to roll to see what sort of knowledge I would have on them) or the GM tells me to. When I run games I encourage my players to do the same. Makes things a lot easier.

I really like your idea and I'm seriously thinking of stealing it. I just worry about it being broken in relatively lethal games like Shadowrun or L5R.

>girl getting talked over
I'll be nice and assume she isn't being ignored because her ideas are dumb and/or ignorant. In which case I applaud you for cutting it off. Maybe have a quiet talk with the other players?

>guy coming late
Again, I'll be nice and assume it is due to his schedule. I'd recommend moving the game a bit later. Otherwise tell him it's starting 30 min sooner. You and the rest can show up early also to bullshit and so on if you want. Either way the latecomer should be showing up in time for the normal amount of gameplay.

>Dumb person playing a smart character
Frankly I'd start being captain obvious with him. Have him roll and then give him a ton of info along with a "you know it would be a good idea to do X, Y, and/or Z things".

Wew lad. That sounds like a weapons grade autist was allowed to run a game. The rape shit sounds like something I might do with my group after we've played for a while (especially if the area was controlled by a over the top evil BBEG) but a bunch of randoms AND it's just some random mooks in the middle of the street? Yeah, that'd never fly with me. Too stupid honestly.

Though I almost wish you'd stayed so we could see the trainwreck in all of it's disgusting glory.

>The rape shit sounds like something I might do with my group after we've played for a while
When I told my friends about it that's exactly what they said. And I wholeheartedly agree, and even then if I was GMing I'd be hesitant to add that.

One of my friends, a GM, said that he'd only do it if there was a message he wanted to deliver, not just rape for the lulz.

>Though I almost wish you'd stayed so we could see the trainwreck in all of it's disgusting glory.
I was seriously feeling uneasy, although I also wonder how it ended, especially with his homebrew especially made to railroad the game.

I don't personally enjoy the "DM vs. Players" approach but I guess I can see why some people like it. To me it's more of a creative storytelling experience that tests creative solutions and quick thinking under various constraints on both sides. I enjoy the game the most when both players and DM are working together towards making a compelling and interesting game experience that is challenging yet rewarding and immersive.

>DMing and wanting to start a new campaign because the old one was a complete mess (it was me and my groups first game ever)
>Give my friends the opportunity to make new characters
>Made the mistake of saying it optional
>Player who's character I hate refuses to make a new character and their old one doesn't fit the new, semi-serious campaign
>Close friend also hates the character and wants me to kill the character off somehow
>Player is another close friend and I don't want to kill the character off because I'm afraid they won't want to play anymore

I just wanted a semi-serious campaign...

i agree with your second point but my group does it to the extreme like my most recent campaign im apart of
>no i dont want to tell you what my animal companion i have. yes we have known each other our entire lives and youve seen me walking around town WITH my animal companion, but i dont want to tell you.
and another player in the same session
>Pre game agree to be buddy cops
>paladin/ranger combo
>agree on backstory for about 5 years wirth of catching crooker criminals and thieves
>he doesnt think to tell me its a good idea his paladin has EXTREME adhd/borderline autism
we looked it up mid session that he essentially gave himself autism by looking up the comparison between autism and adhd.

thankfully our dm realized he was just being a cunt and forced him to change it