What's the weirdest creature one of your Characters ever romanced/boned?

Did they Enjoy it? Did they regret it afterwards? Did it ever go anywhere from there, or was it just a one night stand?

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A Lich.

It wasn't consensual, character was female. He stuck his phylactery inside of her (literally, not figuratively).

Depends on whether or not we're going with last thing he boned that he remembered, or that he thinks he might've boned, but was too high/drunk/insane at the time to remember.

If the former, probably a mimic door.

If the latter, there might've been an encounter with a drider, a gnomish ghoul, and an aboleth at the same time.
>Did they enjoy it?
Yes for the former, probably for the latter.

>Did they regret it?
He never regrets anything. Not even smoking opium instead of warning his smoking partners that the Rogue might've been a werewolf, on a full moon. That led to about fifteen deaths immediately, and later on to reports of a band of Gypsy Werewolf bandits roaming the desert.

>Did it ever go anywhere from there?
Most of his stuff is one-night stands or one-week orgies, longest relationship he ever had was an occasionally-gay bromance with a fellow patrician in Pompeii that lasted about a decade.

Kobold.

Been married for 15 years in game, have a kid who is a different Player Character in a different game, and they have a successful business making good berry pies and other assorted baked goods branded as 'the Smiling Kobold Snack Food' and the group they started with are backers, promoters, and they have a snack food empire in Faerun.

Does it count if the DM is actively pushing the romance?

My DM tried to get my fighter involved with Lolth during one campaign.

Oddly, none of my characters have ever fucked anything, as far as I can remember. I haven't been role-playing all that long. I guess I had a Mengele-esque VtM character, and I guess it was sort of implied I was fucking my ghoul. So I'd say that, but it isn't much when you are a vampire.

A female pic related.
I dont think they were supposed to even have genders, but the GM as a joke said it was the sister of one we'd met before. Our resident That Guy rolled to seduce, he succeeded and almost died from the damage she inflicted during sex.

Romanced?
Female Human Paladin in DnD 4E romanced a Flumph polymorphed into a Halfling. They kept up the romance even after he got turned back into a Flumph. They never did the dirty in-game due to my paladin being a kissless virgin and hopelessly clueless when it came to sex.

Boned?
My overly-gay, fruitier-than-a-gift-basket Half-elf Bard powerbottomed a Minotaur chieftain into giving up a lot of the BBEGs marching plans

Paladin should have taken the T.

>Half-elf Bard powerbottomed a Minotaur chieftain

boner no

boner yes

> Half-elf Bard powerbottomed a Minotaur chieftain
Story is very much needed.

>Some twink fagboy elf with a constitution of nothing powerbottoming an 8 foot tall ripped as fuck monster with a monster cock

This doesn't sound something that really happened. Your elf got his ass blown the fuck out and was left a mewling cumdump, admit it.

Does this include unwilling?

My character saved and married a giantess. He settled down and they have two daugthers. What he does now is farm and enjoy life. His wife does not approve of his new calm lyfestyle.
He was basically the leader and most effective combatant in the party. Peple were taken completely off-guard when their former berserker warrior saved a drowning member of the party searching for his help, wearing a straw hat and a scythe.

obviously

>romanced a Flumph polymorphed into a Halfling.
>kept up the romance even after he got turned back
This sounds cute.

a tiefling freed from a demonic plane, but with a incubus bound to him

my favorite character that i've ever played was a demonic tiefling bard, pretty much played as a young and naive version of dandelion from the witcher, only with large horns, red skin and black nails. all he wanted to do was enjoy life.

his family was a ambiguously evil socialites(via trade and more questionable methods) and once my character came of age, he was to be allowed to take a rite of passing, to become a real part of the family (the dm did a few rare "solo sessions" with everyone in the group, which were fucking great and provided A+ character development) pretty much banishing him to a demonic plane, from which he needed to find his own way back. after some searching he managed to find a female tiefling who seemed fairly trustworthy, and she had been stuck in this place for a long time. we manage to find a way back, but it only works for one of us, and my character swears on his life to get her out of there.

after a few sessions with most of my bards gold gone, all favors possible pulls and some blood manage to do it, but an incubus that's "anchored" to her follows, the summoner (my characters less ambiguous evil great uncle) tries to bargain with the incubus by offering a captured paladin, one of my teammates fucks shit up and releases the still at least contained incubus and attacks my uncle, more paladins from the same order decided to attack during the ruckus and one of my teammates dies, the group slips away during everything and my character brings along the girl. the next session is spent with the remnants of the group blaming my character(justified, but annoying) to the point where all semblance of teamwork is gone, with it both seeming the most logical thing for the character to do, and the best way to avoid drama so does my character and the girl slip away in the middle of the night to start a tavern or the like, with the girl, and start a family.

The Sea.
Or rather, the astral goetic manifestation of the traditional sailor's personification of the sea, rather.

She blew his mind, then threw him into an astral typhoon.
Fickle woman that she is.

Unwillingly, probably the setting's version of Not-Cthulu. Didn't enjoy it, no, but didn't regret it.

Willingly, either a underground dwelling proto-human, or a giant spider.

These were other people's characters, my characters are usually boring, strangest thing mine ever got with was an anthro giraffe woman, queen of the savanah region. More a political marriage since they couldn't have children, but there was intimacy. Very awkward intimacy given the anatomical and size differences.

>Didn't want to fuck cthulu
>totally cool with fucking a giant spider

you're a man with very unique tastes

Well they were different characters/players, so different tastes. The Cthulu thing was a weird situation though to be fair.

>My overly-gay, fruitier-than-a-gift-basket Half-elf Bard powerbottomed a Minotaur chieftain into giving up a lot of the BBEGs marching plans

Story. Now. My boner demands it.

I agree with the other anons. We're gonna need the story of that half-elf.

Itself.

A masturbating eldritch horror.

Your mom. And yes.

Your DM sounds like a cretin

One of my fighters quit booze because he would always overdue it. Party coached him into drinking at the tavern, woke up the next day snuggled up to a female hill giant named Gurtha the Snotbreaker.

Nothics can learn your darkest secrets by looking at you. That would be one nasty breakup.

I once banged a mermaid. But not the Ariel, super hot totally fuckable mermaids. The creepy, deap sea, mouth unhinged at the jaw, filled with shark teeth, can't breathe air, gurrgles when she speaks, always slightly damp kind of mermaid. Think the girl from the Ring with the bottom half of a shark.

She expressed an "interest" in my character and it kind of when from there. It was cute, in a totally disturbing way.

>not ... super hot totally fuckable mermaids
>proceeds to describe super hot totally fuckable mermaid
user, you're not making any sense

Similar situation, one of the players fell in love with an angler mermaid. Unfortunately for him, she did the literal angler relationship thing, and fused him to her body till he withered away. Always sat uncomfortable with me, because it wasn't clear if she tricked him and didn't actually love him and just wanted a mate, or if she was even capable of love in that way.

A vampire. Trite, I know. It worked out, but she gradually twisted him into her personal attack dog. Didn't turn him, either, she needed an agent that couldn't be sussed out by witch hunters.

The first thing this mermaid did is smile LITERALLY ear to ear and say, "GARRGKEFLRARGLEBLARGLE" with black salt water spewing from her mouth. It is the opposite of sexy.

Also, keep your degenerate fetishes away from my games. We have good wholesome Christian fun here.

My missionary in Rogue Trader is having a daemon baby with a keeper of secrets that he freed from a daemon weapon in exchange for helping him bind a more directly threatening herald-tier daemon of slaneesh into a sword him/herself. Part of the deal was a lifetime of servitude. My character really wanted a family but in the pursuit of learning what he needed to learn to bind the other daemon (saving both the rogue trader and arch-militant's family line in the process) he became fairly physically corrupted and didn't feel he should spread his taint to a human child.

>The first thing this mermaid did is smile LITERALLY ear to ear and say, "GARRGKEFLRARGLEBLARGLE" with black salt water spewing from her mouth.
>It is the opposite of sexy.

People who make threads like this as well as post in them should have their personal information published to the world and shamed

Newfags should be permanently banned.

>Oh well, if I have a human child he'l probably end up being a Warp-tainted mutant.
>Fuck it, might as well bone a daemon and have a daemon baby

What the fuck was his thought process on that one?

>smile LITERALLY ear to ear and say, "GARRGKEFLRARGLEBLARGLE" with black salt water spewing from her mouth

Stay assblasted, cretin

>le Veeky Forums was always my le personal ERP blog le XD

Cretin.

>Still angry about reddit
>2016

Not even that guy, but you're trying way too hard to fit in.

It was /d/ enough to have /wst/, so yeah, ERP bitch

My Wizard Pirate got black-out drunk and woke up next to a batshit crazy gnome hooker who locked the door from the outside until he made her cum. Had to pass three performance checks in a row, DC 15, but at least Bladesingers get proficiency in those checks. Now, he's cautious drinking at that bar again.

Oh oh! OI read that story!
g.e-hentai.org/g/720177/0396bbc85a/

In Pathfinder during our Way of the Wicked campaign our Swashbuckler had a few boggard concubines before we genocided their entire tribe. He had no regrets. He was curious and wanted to say they were part of his sexual and then literal conquest.

In 7th Sea I had to trade 3 nights of hardcore sex with a creepy and old voodo witch in exchange of her saving my party's life

user, I've seen /h/'s Xmas gift. You can't impress me by any other hentai. But I'm not saying you should stop trying.

The long and short of it is that he didn't want to bring some random human lady down with him. He thought he could never have a family period and was really depressed about it (among other things, such as having to basically turn himself into a cybernetic monster with synthetic muscle grafts in order to combat the massive increase in daemon attacks), but the KoS (at this point knowing all of his desires through their link), told him she could bear him a child (of sorts) and he couldn't resist.

>powerbottomed a Minotaur chieftain

Go on

For the few characters of mine that have, it never lasted. GM's magical realm created a revolving door of love interests to be fanservice and try to hook you into ERP. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth just thinking about it.

You just fucked a voodoo spirit posessing a woman. Be glad it didn't start eating glass I guess.

Never done any weird shit, only non humanoid any of my characters boned was a vampire, which is embarrassing, as he's a dedicated hunter.

Basically after pulling enough successful hunts (specifically faking his own capture in order to free the prisoners of an elder vampire) this vampire became very interested in him. (It probably didn't help that my PC was very handsome)

She then resolved to alternate between messing with him and trying to seduce him until he eventually caved. She succeeded, and yes he enjoyed it, though afterwards the party was able to kill the vampire.

And my character is still broken up about it.

Two lolis. At once

>And my character is still broken up about it.
About hooking up with the vampire or about the vampire being slain by the party?

How smug were the lolis?

>Veeky Forums's deviant sexual preferences are a meme
>muh Veeky Forums was always a good Christian board
>I'm a turbo virgin who gets awkward at the mention of sex and demand to you cater to my sensibilities

A female necron.

Due to stupid shit I did within a Tomb World's catacombs, my techpriest was seen as a fellow necron and not as a squishy human. We were then all trapped by a malfunctioning female lord who then saw me as a member of her court.

Shenanigans ensue, and she drags me to her chambers to discuss her plot to betray her Overlord and take control of the court. And of course, this led to involentary clanking.

To this day, the techpriest denies all accusations other than his own guile. However, he refuses to submit to a memory wipe.

Both, actually. He's still doing his job but it does mess with him.

One was super smug the other was 2genki to be smug.

Both got lovingly bullied, tho.

A Spirit Healer attached unwillingly to a (dead) human body by some experiments.

My character was a death knight that had been taken into service of the scourge the hard way, through torture and mind fuckery. He was as undead as you can get, and was pretty much the closest thing you can get to a Death Knight ghoul in regards to his appearance and intelligence.

Since he was all fucked up, her presence made him feel good, hence why he decided he must be in love with her. (keep in mind that he was absolutely moronic) After a few nudges from the other players, he brought her some flowers, told her he liked her, and they started a relationship of indifferently holding hands while trying to have a semblant of small talk. It was awkward and cute as fuck.

My character romanced a faun (PC) and an "elf" (also a PC) shapeshifter whom I suspect of really being an incubus or something like that. She's had "stable" relationships with both of them for some time, since she, as a Lawful Nofun, shamefully enjoys chaotic guys.

Another character got raped by a hag and was probably lucky to escape uneaten.

But it is the male angler fish who has the chemicals needed to merge.

Your guy must have secretly been a mermaid.

For purely romance things, my first character was a cleric who had a thing for a kitsune alchemist who helped out the party. Ended up getting with her and having a daughter with her at the end.

As for boning, I had a Red Mage/Bard in a Final Fantasy 4e campaign that had a foursome with some demons and tried to fuck a Moogle at an inn. Foursome didn't go anywhere after, and he ended up getting the wrong room number from the Moogle. No regrets either way.

Didn't you fight a kingdom?

>Half-elf Bard powerbottomed a Minotaur chieftain.
One boipucci to rule them all, one boipucci to find them, one boipucci to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

>Lawful lusting after chaotic
Good taste, best marriages.

I once played a lady assassin from a people of liars, thieves, and murderers.

She fell super damn hard for this goody two shoes guy who fought with honor and respected his foe's burial rights.

It was an interesting pair.

My halfling bard Bendil Longhill was my longest running character and indeed my favorite. We had a house rule that you could roll for visual attributes such as as a d20 for attractiveness and in good humor, 2d6 for penis size. I ended up with a nat 20 for handsomeness on top of my high charisma stat and a very nice endowment despite having a negative being so short. He turned into a serious ladykiller.
Literally.
He would fall into romance with most of the female characters throughout the course of the game, including the longstanding drow cleric princess who was dethroned and exiled. This was not good because every single one died almost immediately after coitus. One of our players second character I don't even remember that well because we were accosted by zombies immediately after boinking, leaving her to be torn apart and eaten while I noped the fuck out through a halfling sized hole in the building.
We thought that the drow would be around for good, though the player didni't really know how to cleric very well and was mostly new to roleplaying but had her moments and learned what to do from the rest of the party. One of those moments was a steamy scene in a public bath house after 2 sessions of flirting. The very next day we were almost wiped by a hydra during an orc raid on the main city (don't ask me why it was there.) One of the casualties was indeed her, and in an attempt to revive her it was discovered she had become pregnant the day before and it had advanced ridiculously fast. The ritual commenced and she was unable to be resurrected, but the child through some miracle was saved and my bard had become an single father. She continued to grow ridiculously fast and we thought it might be the mix of drow and halfling blood mixing. 3 sessions later she was walking and talking and while traveling to save our paladin who was kidnapped after wandering off alone with 2 HP, the party was tasked with the raising of a child.
(Cont'd)

Yeah, VtM characters are basically magical rapists, so there's a lot of fucking going down in most chronicles.

>Female Human Paladin in DnD 4E romanced a Flumph polymorphed into a Halfling. They kept up the romance even after he got turned back into a Flumph. They never did the dirty in-game due to my paladin being a kissless virgin and hopelessly clueless when it came to sex.
>romanced a Flumph

This is cute. Post greentext

I'm sad to say that the weirdest thing any of my characters ever boned was an Erinyes.
She regretted it afterwards, and it was just a one-night stand (in Hell.)

>My character saved and married a giantess. He settled down and they have two daugthers. What he does now is farm and enjoy life. His wife does not approve of his new calm lyfestyle.

It was cute until she went full-bitch on him. She needs to accept Love and calm the fuck down.

Eventually the party was brought together again. The paladin had been forced to fight in a sort of last man standing arena battle for a week straight while the rest of the party wasted time drinking with elves and hosting elaborate parties before we got our shit in gear to go save him. When we met up with him, he had already escaped on his own and through the countless bloody battles he had endured (and having 1on1 sessions with the DM because of a work schedule thing) he had emerged 2 levels ahead of the party and with a few plot powers, none of which were game breaking. This is important because he was originally a very cheerful guy, and one of the original members of the party but after his ordeals he had changed into a cynical brooding fist of blind justice (without being too edgy, the player handled it quite well.)
On the way back he too took part in raising my bastard child, teaching her that you must stick to justice and that means following written law instead of doing what is fair or right.
This continued for a few more session, we learned of the BBEG and found that he had been in a creepy romance with the goddess figure of the main city before she had ascended to godhood, the act of which had created the city which represented freedom and peace.
To cut it short, the rapidly growing child developed her own powers of sorts, and with the help of the mages that had saved her, we discovered that she carried within her the soul of the goddess that had created the city. All this culminated into a grand battle against the BBEG in the form of a dragon atop the highest tower in the city where my daughter began to ascend once again into becoming a goddess reborn. This part was key because as we later found out, how we raised her and what ideals we taught her would affect the outcome of her godly nature. This wasn't good because the paladin had filled her head with a lot of lawful evil garbage.
(cont'd)

I want to FUCK that mermaid, user. Give us some cute anecdotes.

NG Wizard who was turned into a shadowy fey predator monster thing, who became fuck buddies with a CG Fey touched Silver Dragon.
All the power of a dragon, all the sexual urges of a fey, not many creatures that can survive such a combination and even less that are good aligned and up for it.

The party actually walked in on them in flagrante delicto at one point and mistook it for a violent attempt to murder each other.
The pair of them played it off as a sparring match, despite the horrific damage.

That's very sad and cute, user. What happened next?

>as a Lawful Nofun, shamefully enjoys chaotic guys.

She should be publicly executed for poor taste in violation of Section 143.008(b)4 of the Romance and Sexuality Code.

I'm not one for public speaking, but at that key moment I did my very best to turn her opinions from blind law to the meaning of peace and freedom she had originally founded the town on. It apparently worked because while the other party members were dying she ascended, stripping the BBEG of his powers which he had originally used to force her into the restrained form so he could be with her once again. After escaping the collapsing tower, the city was reborn once again as a shining beacon of, you guessed it, peace and freedom.
Anyways, it was decided by the group that Bendil was indeed cursed. Not one of the beings he had romanced had lived past 24 hours. And though he was indeed the handsomest halfling with a 20 in charisma and had swooned and seduced pauper and princess alike, he vowed never to fuck again.

Goddess of Tragic Romance and Suicides (Particularly those caused by MUH TRAGIC LOVE Romeo and Juliet style)
In a setting where a gods nature isn't something they can entirely control or change.
The character in question had balls so fucking big that they had their own gravitational pull and it all ended horribly.
ShindoL by way of NTR levels of horrible.
The number of dead was measured in the thousands.
Or at least, would have if the cheeky fuck hadn't outcunted fate itself by dragging three Norn sisters into falling soul crushingly in love with him, convinced them to rethread his fate (Breaking their own nature in the process) and then fucked off to go tell his Waifu the good news while the three of them ended themselves over it, basically redirecting the tragedy onto someone else.
Evil bastard.

Hilarious

Was playing a wizard and a quest took the party to some desert ruins. To get there we had to get through a narrow cleft between towering cliffs, guarded by a sphinx. Answered her riddle and asked for a harder one. Had some back and forth before the party dragged him on. Still, went back to chat between dungeon runs to explore the ruins and enjoy some intelligent company, she enjoyed company at all. After we left the first new spell he got was teleport.

Continued to visit when he could and things went from friends to possible romance. He crafted a gift for her by the end of the campaign. Rubiks cube that turned into 6 sided sudoku, that cyphers into a crossword, into a puzzle box containing a ring on a necklace.

Their daughter will be an upcoming NPC in the game I'm running now.

That's fairly cute, user. Did he just stand on a foot stool for their romantic lovemaking, or what?

This is adorable.
This was hopefully left off-screen. But now I'm wondering what a half-sphinx is like.

Cleric in a Pathfinder campaign let a dhampir lady suck some of his blood.

That's like sex for vampires, right?

Was off screen, but would assume that a lion sized lover does not require a footstool, though a centaur would.

And their kid is basically a winged catgirl with darkstalkers felicia style cat limbs. Has become an archaeologist.

A ghost. We're pretty vanilla.

>Sidecut
Mein paenus ist hart.

Weirdest thing I ever considered romancing was a pixie named Squid. But I decided not to because the risk of my minigirl fetish being exposed and magical-realming the rest of the party was too great.

Weirdest I ever saw at the table romanced was a fat, ugly noblewoman. It was an evil campaign in Pathfinder, and one guy was playing an evil gigolo/manwhore witch, and the party sent him to cause a ruckus on one side of town to distract the guards while we did a heist on the other side. He seduced a fatty noblewoman and got her to meet him in a shady inn on the wrong side of town. He then drank a potion of disguise self to assume to form of a lanky ginger half-orc and reserved a room at the inn under the name Bushy Steve. Bushy Steve later became the group's default fictional fall guy. Anyway, he then met the noblewoman as himself, took her to bed, and then fucked her brains out with some kinky bondage shit. Where's the distraction you say? Well after she finished, he beat her to unconsciousness with the riding crop he'd been using, cut her head off, tossed it out the window, drank the potion of become Bushy Steve again, jumped out the window, threw a flask of alchemist fire into the open window, and sped off into the slums shouting "Bushy Steve strikes again!"

GM rolled poorly for the fire brigade and half the damn slums burned down.

My DM keeps dicking me over. While one guy's banging elf boys and another is spearing women on his dragon dick, I get clubbed over the head and arrested for inviting a lady to my apartment and attacked by werewolves the second time I try, and now the forst lady is more into the boy fucker than she is me. It's bullshit.

When I DM they refuse to fuck anything cool. I've thrown beautiful skeleton princesses at them, goblin cuties, orc amazons, sexy mummies. They just wanna fuck elves.

Hellloooo nurse

Oh, I did trick a guy into marrying an intelligent animated armour. He was excited when he found out in the wedding bed chamber and fucked her with gusto.

Reminds me of a player in the game I'm running. Took a haunted armor girl for a squire, they both enjoy him wearing her.

Also you need some ladies in your group. In my experience women are much more open to exotic options in game, also less likely to use contraceptives.

And now I need to figure out stats for a half Hellhound.

We really just need a "half-human" template, it would make a lot of these things easier.

Ozzmar's probably worth mentioning.

Aside from breeding with everything humans are boring though. Half human: extra trait, free Skill focus, cancel +2 of a positive attribute and -2 of a negative attribute. Gain fingers if the race lacks them.

I haven't seen /h/'s xmas gift, would you kindly share

Kobold wizard, romanced and seduced a female bronze dragon by bragging his wit, wealth and whimsical attitude.

Being an incredibly potent caster helped too.

I would also like to know what /h/'s gift was