The king is literally retarded and can't father children, but still legally has the right to choose his successor...

The king is literally retarded and can't father children, but still legally has the right to choose his successor. He's chosen someone important in a foreign nation whose ascension to the throne could cause an actual war with other nations worried that the two countries might unite. What happens?

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The war of spanish succession.

He doesn't win the popular vote, but he still wins the electoral one

You kill him duh.

People killed kings all the time

Write in a law that the legally insane have no rights

If the choice has been made public you can expect the chosen successor to press their claim anyway though. So it won't really stop anything. Though it will require the chosen successor to have you interrogated under torture and executed in order to satisfy that they didn't give any orders to have the king executed.

Acquire one (1) harlot. Have the harlot consort with the king for extended period of time, make sure this becomes publicly known. Meanwhile, have the harlot thoroughly pounded by someone resembling non-deformed version of the king whenever the king is busy doing retard things. Repeat until a child is conceived. Enjoy your new heir.

Optional steps:
Praying for kings well-being and donating to church generously, attributing whole thing to divine blessing, have church back you up on that.
Disposing of harlot afterwards ("perished in labor" is always plausible).

I chuckled.

Have him killed before the paperwork can go through.

>The king is literally retarded and can't father children
Then his advisers have been manipulating him for his entire reign. Leave it to them to sort this out.

So she's Fornicating Under Consent of KING?

Laugh at the GM for how on the nose he is because the King's monogram looks like the biohazard symbol

It looks like if a biohazard symbol and a 666 had a baby then crowned it

Right, i bet he even gave him a stupid moniker like "the Bewitched" or something...

YOU are his advisor. Sort this out.

This is quite a spicy meatball of a situation that this retard has gotten us into.
But let's focus on the real thread here: Foreigners!
For years, the descendants of the heathens who once ruled these fine kingdoms have lived among us. I say 'No More!'.
They may make up a third of one of our kingdoms, but the poor one, doing the only work their demon-worshiping minds are able to like working the land.
I say to you: Away with them all, who wants them here, who feels save with them growing OUR crops, working OUR land? Who knows what they will do to us, with their minds addled by their evil witchcraft they call religion?
I say: Out with them! Out! Out! Out!

Defend the king's choice to the death, and to hell with the consequences. The king may be a tard, but Royalty is sacred.

That's what Richelieu would have done. You're a good royal advisor, user.

Depose of the King and adopt Communism

Go home Pablo Iglesias, it's Christmas.

>Well I didn't vote for you!
youtube.com/watch?v=rAaWvVFERVA

>notmyking.manuscript

Well I'd suppose this is a christian country, or if not then it probably has some form of ruling religion. You simply stage a divine incursionn into the world that dictates that because of the will of god/s, the next king will be (insert your chosen candidate here). Classic playing on the minds and hearts of the people, this way, and if you pull it off correctly, even if this foreign successor takes the throne, the people won't recognise him, and your successor can rule from a different part of the country while the foreign puppet sits on the throne and thinks he has power.

If the gods aren't real, that could work.

If they are, that's the opposite of a good idea.

True, but at the same time, if you're working for the good of your country, the god/s might give you a pass as you're attempting to spare their worshippers from a pointless war, and save lives. It all depends what kind of god you have.

It does depend, but gods are pretty commonly depicted as prideful (as appropriate for beings far mightier than humans) and pushing your opinion forth as theirs is a quick way to offend proud people, even if they agree. Honestly, better to consult some priests first.

>thinking this would work
>being this ignorant of the history of papal meddling in Europolitics
That shit worked like half a time and caused a whole bucket of disasters, user.

>thinking the papacy is anymore intelligent than the common masses when it comes to miracles
if you do it well enough they'll be on your side, user.

Why would you kill a retarded king though? It's the greatest blessing a kingdon can have.

People killed kings that tried to do silly/unpopular things, but the retard can't any of that. He can't do shit.

But the chosen by God is literally the foreigner, because he was chosen by the king and royalty is a sacred institution.

But saying a random dude is the king now would only make the war worse? You now have three sides in this civil war instead of two, congratulations.

i'd say that a sacred institution could be ignored by god himself, being that he invented it.
Why would there be three sides? It'd just galvanise one side with zealotry and remove many of the foreign sympathisers, there would only be the religious believers and the foreign sympathisers.

>I bet the other guy was just stupid, it'll work if I do it
Do you want to get ants? Because that's how you get protestants.

Smother him secretly in his own bed, pin it on the heir apparent (Assuming the other nation is far enough away that war is impractical)
Then pick our own heir.

Either that or sudden miracle bastard from nowhere who happens to have been born from a wench that works at the castle, well wouldn'tchaknow the King accidentally an heir, he's retarded, he won't know the difference.

That entire war was a fucking shitstorm. By the end of the whole war, France only got a slightly better deal than it would've had it it had just signed the 1710 treaties, and the Habsburgs went to war for literally nothing.

If there was ever such a thing as a meaningless war, it was this one. And not WW1 unlike what overly dramatic writers and directors want you to believe.

Body double of the king, kill the current king, get the double to change the successor to whoever you wanted, in exchange the double gets to live like a king for the rest of his life. Or you could have him assassinated after the declaration to ensure his silence. Your choice

There's no choice here. The double *has* to die soon after for this to have any chance of going well for the conspirators.

>he has to *die*
And by 'die' I mean 'luxurious retirement in a distant, tropical colony for as long as he keeps his mouth shut'.

To hell with you, you royalist scum! The people want to be free!
Viva La Revolution!

Not really. If you arrange it so that the double knows he'll be outed if he disobeys, or any harm comes to you, he'll probably play nice.

Yeah, that really worked so great for you last time, and the time before that. You've definitely never made a hash of things.

Besides, even if you pull it off you'll end up miserable. Sure the *merchants* think it's a great idea for you to be ruled by merchants instead of noblemen and priests, but soon enough you'll be reduced to a trade commodity yourself, and there won't be anybody to replace the bourgeoisie with, and then you'll... probably be too retarded and ignorant to actually miss us, but you'll know something's fucked that you can't see how to fix.

He's really just a liability in an already murderous plot. Things were never going to end well for the double

And been ruled by an imbecile and forced to march on a useless war is better?! Nay i say!

Succession war, based on fuckload of different claims that everyone is presenting.

Why would you kill a king that is literal and real figure-head and you can do whatever you want to do? Seriously, retarded king is the best thing imaginable for a court and ambitious people from it.
The real problem is the bunch of asshole on the court trying to plot against each other, but after a while only a single clique remains anyway.

Retarded king is something you want to keep as long as possible. Preferably using that time to set yourself as a successor. Or at least someone you can control

>And been ruled by an imbecile and forced to march on a useless war is better?!
Bizarrely, yes. It doesn't look like a very good option when you're saddled with it, but ultimately it's a sacrifice worth making to be ruled by people with loftier ideals than a penny.

>he'll probably play nice.
>probably
And so he has to die.

Right until retard king decides that making his guards execute you would be hilarious. As long as the king has legal power, being retarded just makes him more dangerous. See; Joffrey for why idiot kings are actually worse for powerful advisors than strong ones. No, the best figure head king is one that is too insecure to stand up for himself. He's sane enough to realize executing his powerful subjects is a bad idea, but too scared to stop you. And no fear that he suddenly decides you are scheming against him so everyone you know has to die, by royal decree.

Also, unstable kings are easily to manipulate... by everyone. Nothing stops you from getting them from doing your bidding, but likewise nothing stops your rivals from convincing the king to execute you with some persuasion.

>Seriously, retarded king is the best thing imaginable for a court and ambitious people from it.
Not really, they end up murdering and imprisoning each other in droves. Plus the people suffer under such shifting tyranny. The ideal is a king who's sharp but lazy, so he can assign a competent minister unequivocally, then get the fuck out of that guy's way until and unless the minister starts going off his set rails. The court will grumble, but live easy lives unperturbed by strife and ambition; the king can go ahead and live an easy life too, and the minister can indulge his ambitions to the full at the cost of getting totally personally fucked by his workload and other responsibilities. And because of the divided authority the king and minister can both blame each other for bad shit, thus pacifying people and avoiding the outright revolt a sole authority can bring upon himself.

You are both wrong!
The only solution is to give yourselves over to the our great demon lord masters, and sacrifice a million innocent lives in their names! Only then will you be able to be spared from when our dark lords will be summoned to the material plane!
REPENT!

>thesystemisnotperfect.jpg

this would be a solution if they existed. if they didn't then it wouldn't do annything. reverse problem of

How many spaniards are in this thread? Three at least, counting myself

Give this man a fucking christmas sock full of eggnog.

THE ONLY GOOD SPANIARD IS A DEAD SPANIARD!

Eat shit, Pedro. That's the last time you'll ever smoke some Dutch weed.

A slight tweak to an existing scheme would work,

MERCK TOCH HOE STERCK!

Go home and take Alva with you, damn Spaniard!

Shut up, you filthy heretics. Be grateful we haven't decimated you because of your SRE status

Forgot pic

>Right until retard king decides that making his guards execute you would be hilarious
I'm not sure you understand what being retarded actually means. We are not talking about some cruel manchild. We are dealing with a person that is unable to chew on their own.
And you don't manipulate king. You run country for them.

Basically, stop thinking in terms of GoT and fucking educate yourself about Carlos II. Or Spanish monarchs in general, because that was an endemic problem, rising once per 5-6 generations ever since islamic conquest happend

The ideal is having administration rather than court running the country.
Just check how fared countries applying administration and how shit went for those using court and king-appointed people.

>stop thinking in terms of GoT
I wish GoT never happend. The amount of edgy, pretentious shit it introduced to the hobby is just plain annoying.

>Dutchbois still mad they got decimated
HOLANDESES BTFO
se recuperaran algún día?

I didn't know it was possible to agree this much with another person.

I know what you mean. I don't think it's fair to blame the trendsetter itself though. But it does get amazingly annoying dealing with people who think they can like fantasy because it has "finally grown up" with GoT (and not even reading the books)

Joffrey was a spoiled psychopath, not a literal retard. He was more Caligula than Charles II.

>everyone is backstabbing and plotting against each other to become the king's prime babysitter to wield power through the potato on the throne

>I have no idea how real-world politicking and court intrigues work: The Post

No, you don't.

>it does get amazingly annoying dealing with people who think they can like fantasy because it has "finally grown up" with GoT
The weirdest most annoying part of this is the people who think all the nudity and fucking is a big part of the "growing up" but still see the same shit in old fantasy art like Frazetta paintings as juvenile and embarrassing.

>N-no, you!
Nice one, Garry.

I've got a tip for you - read about Spanish politics under Carlos.
Then think again if you seriously want to just copy-paste GoT and act surprised when people give you cold stares

The 'tism is strong with this one.

For me the real problem is the assumption that running a court is based entirely on doing shitty, convoluted and complex plots, with everyone inside actively trying to kill all the opposition.
Also, how being ultra-violent somehow doesn't work against you.
And a lot of truly shitty concepts that thrive on common "pop-knowledge" about feudal rule and kingsmaking, really.

>Being educated is autism
>Being dumb fuck makes you pro
Glorious, mate.

t. salty American being too poor to get to the uni

Yep. You got the 'tism, son.

>I was just pretending
That still makes you retarded, just for different reason

>And a lot of truly shitty concepts that thrive on common "pop-knowledge" about feudal rule and kingsmaking, really.
If I lost my shit every time some fuckhole misunderstood feudalism, I'd have to live four simultaneous lifetimes just to be able to lose enough shit to keep up.

>Get rekt
>Too dumb to accept even that
I tip you my hokage

>Reading books causes autism!
Amerifat detected

You know what's really pathetic about people reposting this comics?
That they are setting a trap for themselves. Have you realised this entire comics is based on the concept of "group validation", but there is no group validating you? Instead you yourself post it, as if there was anyone standing on your side.

Given the roast you received, someone can't read public here. And you know what they say about autists and their social skills...

You dont really know as much as you think about history.

>Spanish Empire goes through Carlos as if nothing happend
>Everyone acts as if everything imploded
OP, if you want really bad times for Spain, check Carlos' father.
Or anything that happend after Charles III died.

But if anything, the empire would withered even that... if not first Napoleon ruining the country and then Brits doing their best to turn Spain into a 4th rate power.

Let's be honest here, Richelieu would push the last two step into mandatory and think of at least one more as a failsafe.

At least the books do delve a bit more into the actual problems of running a kingdom, especially if your only ability is to be a cruel dick.

The second Tywin disappears, all his allies turn on his children; while the North still fights to protect Ned's children. In the books those who break their traditions are looked down but society, they can't be like that openly and then still rule unopposed. The Church is of course incredibly corrupt and wholly incompetent in their evilness.

>Everyone acts as if everything imploded
Spain was given to the Bourbons under two conditions. The first was signing a declaration that the thrones of France and Spain will never be united (and if I'm not mistaken that declaration still has a pretty major loophole), the second being Spain being fucking gutted. They lost all their holdings in Italy, the Southern Netherlands and Gibraltar. France actually ended gaining territory. Spain was very clearly the loser in that agreement, not so much a warring party as much as a bargaining chip both France and the Coalition used at their leisure.

Napoleon liberating a country way too backwards to appreciate what's going on was the killing blow to an already crippled entity.

>Spain was given to the Bourbons under two conditions
user, you are talking about stuff AFTER THE FUCKING SUCCESSION WAR
That was 15 years after Carlos died.

>Napoleon liberating a country
>Liberating
>Spain
user... Words cannot even describe

Seriously - who are you? American, who read once an article in Cosmo about spanish succession?

>user, you are talking about stuff AFTER THE FUCKING SUCCESSION WAR
Alright, my bad. I didn't fully read that. The worst thing about Carlos wasn't so much being a drooling retard as it was being a sterile drooling retard.

>user... Words cannot even describe
Describe what? Backwards peasants not understanding the glories of the first written constitution guaranteeing certain rights to all citizens, as well as a civil code that introduced unprecedented liberties and protection of property? The fact that the current Codigo Civil is a Code Civil rip-off proves my point.
>B-but he killed innocent civillians who innocently raided French supply lines!

>B-but he killed innocent civillians who innocently raided French supply lines!
Oh come on, user, if raiding French supply lines counts as a crime virtually every European who ever lived is culpable.

>Being this tier retarded
Explain us something.
You are a Country A. Country B invades you. Ruler of country B appoints his brother as your new ruler. Country B treats your homeland as a source of cash and resources.

And you are seriously surprised people didn't welcome French?
There is literally ONE country that welcomed Napoleon with open hands. Poland. Because he basically allowed it to exist again for few years. And it backfired horribly into Poles later on, as the border between Prussia and Russia was rewritten completely, fucking up Poland to this day.

Did we just accidently Syria?

Half of the nations worried that "the two countries might unite" obviously don't give a fuck about that as much as they care about placing their own guy in the throne. They obviously have a guy (probably another foreigner), if they're to wage war against the legal foreign successor.

So you have three sides: the two original guys (none of them are gonna take a step back) plus another one. Your "holy guy" is also more likely to steal allies from the enemies of the legal foreigner successor, by the way, de facto dividing the opposition against him. Fucking congratulations.

The Eternal Anglo got great profit, like always.

>See; Joffrey

Nice fantasy. See; Louis XIII of France, the puppet of Richelieu, to see how a retarded weak king is the best you can have.

...

>Let's compare reality with fictional characters
And this is where you've lost all weight to your arguments.

maybe if the frog didn't make so many wars the anglos wouldn't profit so much from it

Oh that's just getting a concubine. Happens all the time.

See Prussia and Germany

I'm consistently surprised at people who somehow manage to miss the basic premise of Westeros plots - that this is NOT normal; and all of the bullshit is just the long, slow fallout of the collapse of a dynasty that had its shit together. All of these lurid plots are ludicrous powergames built on impractical powergames built on practical powergames built on the legitimate, effective schemes of the original effective plotters.

Every major character has plots that fail because they seriously underestimated their opponents and assumed it would all work their way. Some just get lucky, or have better players backing them up. Fucking Cersei's entire character is someone who thinks they're brilliant at chess because they always win, not realising she only wins because her dad will kill anyone who doesn't let her, until he isn't there and her plots deliver their true outcome - total catastrophic failure.

I'm constistently surprised there are people who keep bringing GoT as a point of reference to anything at all.

I'm even more baffled when they expect from anyone else to follow rules of their idiotic setting.