Ctrl+f "trap"

>ctrl+f "trap"
>no results that aren't about boys dressing as girls
Let's talk about the traps you're not supposed to put your dick in -- pic related.

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So right now I'm trying to come up with a number of traps with which to populate a dungeon hidden in a dense forest. Parts of it are going to be underground, so I'm thinking about including lots of traps that incorporate poisonous fungal gas and pit traps. Not sure if I wanna go full punji with the pit traps, though, because that just seems kinda cruel to force the party to go through without a dedicated healer involved.

>implying I wouldn't put my dick in that

I wouldn't recommend it, unless "my dick" is a very ironic nickname you have for a ten foot pole.

Hunting traps are the best. Check some survivalist videos on youtube for inspiration.

youtube.com/watch?v=p7BVdaYuxLs

whoosh.

I'm a big fan of asshole traps.

See, the problem with most traps is that they are super complicated and never work the way they are supposed to because they are dumb.

Here is an example. There is a giant statue of Tyr holding a greatsword with both hands pointing down towards the ground. At each of his sides is a wolf with an open maw, and inside each maw is a lever.

There is a great door that rest between his feet with a sword and shield crest matching that of the northern tribes

The inscription at the bottom of the statue reads, "Tyrs sacrifice" Now, even a basic lore check will tell you Tyr sacrificed his hand to the wolf god fenrir, But an even more widely known fact is that Tyr eventually betrayed fenris after he made that sacrifice.

So obviously, the question is, which hand did Tyr sacrifice? But heres the gag: Both levers result in the wolfs maw clamping shut and losing your hand.

So whats the real answer?
When you lift the crest there is a keyhole on the door behind it and a key handing on the back.[\spoiler]

>he has never gone on a quest for Myd'ick, legendary staff of the mountain mystic Hug'eb Alls

Or there is the much simpler "Carpet Trap".

Some little goblin or kobold throws a rock, shoots a sling or crossbow, shoots a poison dart, whatever.

He goes running down a corridor or hallway and makes a sharp turn down the corner. When they turn they see a typical bedroom with small carpet, a bed, a closet, some tapestries, and a mirror. They can hear the kobold snickering somewhere in the room.

The minute somebody in the party sets foot on the carpet, they go falling through the floor into a pitt below. All the kobold had to do was jump over it[\spoiler]

If you're characters don't have a healer they are screwed anyway.

>stick your hand in here to pull this lever

This is exactly why i ALWAYS carry plenty of rope.

>make look
>put loop on lever using stick just to be safe
>sand the fuck back
>pull rope whihc then pulls lever
>poision darts shoot floor by lever LOL
>floor spikes HA!
>hand would have been cut off? LOL FUCK YOU DM!!!

unless your DM is a butthurt asshole that you are one ahead of obvious traps and has whatever is set off happen back where you are standing you are golden.

But i have only ever had 1 DM that got that asshurt we dident fall into his trap.

For real though. Everyone in the party should have a bit of rope with them.

>pressure plate sets off a trap 10 feet back

I got the joke, I was just trying to awkwardly stimulate conversation so the thread wouldn't die too fast
nice reaction image though, princess bride is kino

I'm not sure how this follows from the inscription, though. Is it just to fuck with anybody who wasn't one of the people who made the trap in the first place?

A simple pit trap on the floor. The catch is, there's a secret door in the pit trap which leads down to the lower dungeon.

If you go down through the normal staircase, you eventually get to the pit trap, and can find the secret door from the other side.

the players know the treasure is on the 4th floor of the dungeon. How do you get down to the 4th floor?

Lets talk about bypassing traps with creative thinking, 10 foot poles and rope, instead of high level spells and abilities.

Pit trap? Poke the floor ahead of you with a pole and you'll find the crack at the edge, or tilt the catch down.

Poison gas when you open the door? Tie a rope to the handle and stand 50 feet back.

gender-ambiguous anime character? Stick two poles in the ground and weave a hammock out of rope for them to cute in while you continue the adventure.

I'd rather make an improwised gallow out of poles and hang the last one with rope just to be sure. If it's in a dungeon, it's either a hazard to be disabled, a monster to be killed or a riva to be killed too, no exceptions. Dungeoneering is dangerous.

...still sounds like something you don't want touching a sphere of annihilation.

10 foot deep, too long to jump, and incredibly obvious pit trap, with ladders on the far end. Twist: gelatinous cube waiting for them to jump into it.

Trapped door at end of 10ft wide, long hallway woth obvious arrow holes. Rogue sets it off intentionaly cause he fucked the disable roll, expecting the borrowed fighter's tower sheild to protect them. Instead, Fireball centered 5 feet behind him.

Giant room with spiral staircase, trapdoor. Only person not hit by fireballs is whoever opens the door.

Illusury pit - 10ft of perfectly safe ground that looks like a pit, then 10ft of actual pit that looks safe.

I love fucked up traps.

>it's actually a snake spell trap.
>If you pull the lever with your hand the fingers turn into snakes that bites you.
>If you pull the lever with a rope the rope turns into a snakes that bites you.

>triggers the obscure priest spell 'ropes to snakes'

...

Would it make sense to have a magazin that spoils traps?
Or how would they present them not to spoil their mechanic.

I assume it's a magazine for people in the trapmaking trade and not for being-caught-in-traps enthusiasts.

Does anyone else massively prefer the "you fucked up now" delayed trap?
Flooding rooms, slow descending ceilings, unnecessarily slow dipping mechanisms, spell turrets that visibly/audibly charge up, etc?

I just find I get more game from that sort of thing than "wrong 5 foot square, take 2d6 damage." At least with slower traps you balance the paranoia out a little.

I had a variation of this.
The kobold went to the left, into a hole hidden by a tapestry. Inside, there is a ramp with a boulder.
The PCs are supposed to go right, into the hallway.
The kobold would release the boulder and the PCs would run down the hallway, eventually falling into the hidden pit trap.

>tie loop to lever
>walk out of the dungeon
>pull rope
>profit

>you have to go around several corners making it impossible to pull the rope.

I don't think you understand how ropes work

>you're not supposed to put your dick in
There is no such thing.
Wherever there's a hole, there's a man who will put his dick in it.
>B-But it's sharp and scary
PUT YOUR DICK IN IT, YOU PANSY.
THROUGH DICK, UNITY.

>implying you're supposed to put your dick in a boy dressed as a girl

>Puts dick in OP's image
>Hole is sphere of annihilation
>I-I-I meant to do it, b-baka!

what about doing it with a pole that'd be a very stiff snake itd be easy to fight

>Poison gas when you open the door? Tie a rope to the handle and stand 50 feet back.
Because you just magically know what exactly will happen, right.

Have fun doing the procedure for every single door in the damn dungeon.

Well, you have to search the doors for traps if you suspect that traps are deployed.
This is an alternative to risky defusal techniques or just tanking damage.

Instant damage traps are alright when you give them a chance to figure it out though. Like with the Tyr's hand riddle above.

But yeah "you failed your perception check so here's damage" is kinda lame.

Did you take a photo of your fucking TV screen?

>>implying you're supposed to put your dick in a boy dressed as a girl

>Because you just magically know what exactly will happen, right.
Well, no, but that's a pretty good way of avoiding most traps that rely on somebody opening a door in the normal way

I like the ones that look like dangerous traps but aren't actually anything dangerous.

>party enters the room
>there's a red button on a pedestal and a screen on the far wall
>fighter presses the button
>door slams shut and locks, countdown displays on the screen
>party trying to figure out how to escape before the countdown hits zero
>try pressing the button again, countdown resets
>this continues for some time
>finally just say fuck it, let the timer hit zero
>door unlocks and opens

The point of those traps isn't "roll perception" its "be careful before rushing in."

A good dm should get the players away from the mindset of roll perception, roll search and move on. Instead, provide clues to the traps and reward cautious players.

what if they're sharp corners?

Plus it takes little time to tie the same rope to every door handle.

Plus, you still have to be careful touching the door, which might have 50,000 volts in the door handle

I'm not posting the answer to this until someone at least guesses.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

I roll perception to find the 4th floor.

>How do you get down to the 4th floor?
Dynamite and a shovel.

>there's no floor 4
>that's the trap

The 4th floor is above the second.

Back of the swinging door probably has a ladder or something.

Nope, it was the only picture i could get on google.
Couldnt find something to screencap.

I thought it was a trick question, because with the information given there's no way to know.

Stiff snake would fuck you in your ass.

>Stiff Snake
Metal Gear just got even more erotic

Pit trap disguised by normal means, with an extra 6 feet on the far end disguised with magic, so anyone attempting to leap across would fall in.

There is a ladder leading back out. The 6 feet of floor in front of the ladder are another pit trap, edges of which have sharp steel blades that will quickly cut through any rope.

The bottom of the second pit extends into a hallway where the floor is covered in warm vaseline and for every five feet you cross you have to make a FOR save or be drained of 1 point of STR or DEX. The hallway is very long and climbs steeply enough that you will slide at least 5 feet down every time you slip, fall, or cease your attempts to climb.

At the end of the hallway is a room with a lever in the middle and another door at the opposite end. The door is unlocked. Pulling the level reverses the gravity in the room and does nothing else.

The door leads into a carefully constructed subterranean garden lit and maintained by magic. The garden contain 2d6 desperate elf boys with smooth, firm dongers reaching all the way down to their knees like beautiful silky meat lances. As one fucks you in the ass others will assist his grapple check, moaning and shuddering all around you like animals in heat. Each elf boy has the endurance feat.

Isn't that the point of every trap?

Traps in d&d never served any other purpose than the DM fucking his players over.

>The bottom of the second pit extends into a hallway where the floor is covered in warm vaseline and for every five feet you cross you have to make a FOR save or be drained of 1 point of STR or DEX.
I have so many questions. What? Why? Who chooses which stat is drained? How long does the drain last? What's the drain coming from? Why Vaseline and not just oil? Does it have to be warm? How and why?

Dare you fall into my magical realm?

I think the presence of a trap should be communicated in the description of a location. I'm not saying that you should always communicate the existence of a threat, but merely that the trapped object exists. So if there's a pit trap, you should describe the floor. If there's a soul-sucking mirror, you should describe the mirror. Etc. et al.

My best trap yet has just been a cave of shriekers (mushrooms that screech really loudly when exposed to light). It was so simple. Overthinking truly is the most dangerous thing. The party was at the top of a cliff, beside the ramp leading down to the lower, shrieker-filled level. They kept casting Light on stones and dropping them down. Eventually casting firebolt into the darkness. They spent way too much time just trying to evade and locate the mysterious creature hiding down there. Eventually, they gave up and walked past the mushrooms in the dark. After they got through, I had to explain to them that there were never any enemies in the room.

I like how no fucks are given about elf rapists.

What? Those don't come standard? How did you think half-elves were made?

Human rapists. And bards.

I have a player who maxes out his passive Perception on every single character he makes, so when I do traps I have to be a little creative.

>every floor tile is a pressure plate, almost all of which do nothing
>pressure plates under old rugs that release a bunch of poisonous spores if disturbed
> the door has no traps on it, but it's attached to a rope that goes slack if the door is opened, triggering some sort of horrible network of spiked annihilation penises
>tripwires that you're supposed to trigger, as they trigger a timed device that pumps fresh air into the carbon-monoxide-filled room

OP did specifically ask about traps you don't put your dick in.

>ctrl+f "trap"
>no results that aren't about boys dressing as girls
yep, that's Veeky Forums all right.

Nothing about traps that stick dicks in players.

Precisely.

...

All these traps seem clever until you remember that either the first character down each corridor will be an intrusion specialist with maxed out perception, or the players will arrive at the dungeon site with an army of hired laborers and strip-mine the whole area of anything that has a market value.

Here, have a somewhat improved version.

>When the trap is triggered, the triggerer and a random member of the party swap minds/bodies, and immediately find out a horribly embarrassing secret about each other
>The secret is a lie
>The only way to get back into their bodies is to convince the other, bodyswapped, party member that the secret is not true
>Party devolves into laughing/arguing, dropping their guard as the chupacabras stealthily approach

The one time I've done this I actually got the best RP I've ever seen out of it; they argued and laughed in character, debate was had over whether the twinky high elf was molested by his younger sister and whether the bretonnian noble was actually born of a whore. And when the Chuppies appeared, EVERYONE failed their perception roll and got ganked. The Bret died, but OOC was laughing so hard he didn't care. Good group, good bloody group. I miss them ;.;

After clearing a trail of traps in the forest, my group found a small goblin encampment, and believed that the goblin were traps too, rolled to keep them as sex slaves and failed, then ending up cutting off their rocks off and trying to sell them. Needless to say, I killed them off soon after.

The goblins, the characters, or the players?

Instant perception checks with no description are cancerous.

At the very least give me a sentence like "Black-Leaf visually examines the corridor for hidden dangers". Something that your poor DM can work with to imagine what's happening in the game universe.

When rocks fall, EVERYONE dies.

Can you imagine, every single time the party enters a new room, "Black-Leaf visually examines the x for hidden dangers". It's like insisting on describing all your attacks, after a while everyone at the table will wish you had a horrible debilitating stroke.

Y'all need some Grimtooth in your lives

Back in the days of OD&D that wasn't a problem. Somehow.

Oh i'm sorry, I thought we were roleplaying characters and not playing a board game.
Piss off, your characters should only be doing that in hostile environments in the first place and should get around traps by thinking critically and creatively rather than just rolling a skill check.

I've been doing something like that for years. It could also be "Black-Leaf glances around the room" or "Black-Leaf carefully looks at the coffin". You change it up to fit what's happening, and you don't go on too long unless you need to convey something important.

It's really not so bad, it doesn't even take much more time than "I roll a perception check". Once you have some practice (like me, because I'm great), it helps immersion, almost like you're taking turns improvising a novel. I say "Black-Leaf looks at that" and the GM replies with what Black-Leaf notices.

Obviously there are many things the GM should just give you without prompting, that a person would notice without even trying to look, based on the characters' implied alertness level and goals.

My rulebook says otherwise.

Apparently the roleplaying part of RPGs has become such a chore.

Anything more difficult than pressing a button is a chore these days.

I know, right? How can anyone want to get invested into dungeon diving, using smart shit like bags of sand or ball bearings to test and see if anything is not as it should be in a dangerous place? That just takes so much time than throwing the die across the table and having the DM say you pass or fail.

What? Pressing a fucking button so it would GO IN? What am I, a superman? Touchscreens are the way to go!

Just watch, in ten years there'll be some new development that makes even that seem difficult. We'll be controlling our phones with our fucking thoughts somehow.

Urgh, sending electrical signals along my nervous system is soooooo tiring...

Calm down, you'll upset your colostomy bags.

The characters. The cave they went into crumbled behind them and they were stuck at a disadvantage with a horde of goblins and bugbear.

Well that's underwhelming.

Probably yeah. First time DMing, what should I have done?

not him but I sort of gave up reading the rest of the post by "warm vaseline", so I didn't even see the elf rapists

I made a trap specifically designed to kill all my players at once. It can not be disarmed, and it can not be saved against. It essentially causes a chamber to very rapidly fill with sand, after eviscerating whoever sets it off. The only way to avoid it is to spot it and ignore it. I honestly hope it kills them all, but I made sure to make it easy to spot. All they have to do is spot the lever, and consider what it might do and what it has done by observing their surroundings, then avoid the urge to pull it.

>All they have to do is spot the lever, and consider what it might do and what it has done by observing their surroundings, then avoid the urge to pull it
I hope you have another campaign planned up for them.

I wonder how much money Unilever had lost over the years because their innocent skin care product got permanently associated with chronic masturbation and butt loving.

not much because blacks and old people still buy the stuff by the bucket

>My dick
>Not a ten foot pole
>Implying

What do elf traps use? Scented olive oil?

Black-Leaf cautiously probes your anus with her penis.

>elf boys
And you lost me.