An age difference between several hundred years

>Then cry when you blink and she's old and dead.
Protect your daughters, male elves would probably be the worst offenders of "pump and dump".

There are bound to be some Elves that just get off by robbing the cradle and banging 60 year old humans.

Simply make it so elves's extended lifespans are only like 150 years, maybe 300 max.

Watch all the edglords and power-games cry that their angst filled 10,000 years of suffering backstory no longer works.

What are you, my dad? Age is just a number you angry old fart! You're just mad at the elves because you won't adit they saved our asses during Multiverse War II

>"Thats what I love about human girls, I keep getting older they stay the same age"

I'm imagining "human fetishist" concepts now and its both creepy and adorable.

>Be mighty tolkein elf
>Like humans because they're short and have cute round ears.

There was a tumblr post about how to dogs, humans seem like immortal creatures.

Look, if that elf and his lion want to have a relationship, I think they can make it work, no matter the age difference.

I'm saying that people are flexible and you jump to ad hominem? Okay bro.

Elves are tragic in that their memories aren't as good as humans'.

They lose themselves over the centuries. Their memories slowly fade, and they lose themselves as they advance in age. They only keep going such that they might forge new memories in order to remind themselves that they're still alive.

Humans are flexible, always eager to learn new tricks, and have great stamina. They're the perfect concubines!

Pessimism from you guys aside. Pretty sure such romantic relationship between an elf and a human can still work out. Its all about the positivities of true love. Plus it's be possible for an elf to maintain composure in dealing with outliving a human loved one.

And for the green-minded pervs out there, you can also just say as human men, you can still give joy to a lonely elf woman, or a male elf ladykiller just having fun playing with human women for awhile and then leaving them with a "parting gift" for something to remember.

I hold that a lifelong bond between an elf and a human is pretty unlikely and probably the stuff of fable or myth.
That said, an elf would certainly be vulnerable to fleeting infatuation with a human. They are greatures of great and mercurial passions after all.

Lest we forget the tale of Beren and Tinuviel (later Luthien).

youtube.com/watch?v=JtAIvup6QOU

Unlike Elvish men, Human men are manly and intimidating. Elvish women would flock to the species that is not rife with tree hugging hipster fucks.

Memes.

>Just imagine all the degenerate fetishes the elf has accumulated over the centuries to keep sex interesting.
This actually isn't the logical conclusion of pairbonded sex, you just watch too much porn.

Why not? An elf might be intrigued by a human who is full of naivete and energy because of his youth, a human might be into the elf's experience and wisdom.

If humans don't work like humans what exactly makes them humans.

The fact they're the middle-of-the-road generalist race in the setting.

Just like every other time a setting has tried to "not have humans," only to end up with a race that fits the role anyway.

Just because an elf's human partner dies, doesn't mean the love has to stop there. It's like human-human relationships, one spouse can die but the other lives on, and can be happy because of family love.

Sure human's are comparatively short-lived, but what if the elf loves, or comes to find the love of family? Imagine that with an elf couple, maybe they have what... one kid every hundred years, maybe? Meanwhile an elf-human couple can have a kid every year maybe. Oh the tragedy when the human partner dies, but the elf still has the love of their very much larger family with their late human partner, and that family love. Not to mention longer lived family than human since they have elf genes.

It would sure be hard to also outlive your children, but like with the spouse, it's a pain you get through with family, same with children. I think it more likely that the elf becomes a venerated and beloved progenitor of a family line and always there as a mentor and protector, rather than a forever depressive wreck who retreats at the death of their spouse. And even though the elf may outlive any one family member, they'll never outlive the family.

>tl;dr love doesn't end when your partner dies, you always have family

>elven relationships are hardwired to have maybe one children in one century
>but when a human is involves they suddenly breed like rabbits
Nah.

>Man and a jet plane

Laughed at the mental image of some refined, reserved elves sitting around having a fine discussion.

>"I say Talendiel, what are your thoughts on companionship with a human?"
>"Have you ever tried to tame a wild horse? Dear oh dear, once you grab on, all you can do is hold on and pray for dear life! They live so fast and vibrant, you may not be able to keep up! Why, I know of more than just a one strong, lively elf who by comparison to their human partner, passed to the afterlife from heart failure! Even something as intense as making love, the humans can do it multiple times in a single day!"
>"My word, you don't say?"

Compared to perhaps standard high elf timely, reserved living, a human might well wear them out, even to death. Like if getting frisky for elves is something they maybe do once a decade with years of preparation and likely only in some starlit high tower amid gossamer sheets, in the missionary position hands holding for the sole purpose of procreation, how would such an elf react when their human partner wants a rough, dirty quickie behind that tree over there?

It's the human that is breeding like the rabbit, the elf just tries to keep up.

Compare it to a first world upper class intelligent cultured couple, to a third world lower class farm couple.

The first world couple may have one child for the entire relaitonship, if that. The third world couple will have a big family in just a few years.

even if some human was 600+ years old and was immortal, there sill always be an age gap between them and a 1k+ year old elf. it is the same diffrience between some human being 30 and the elf being 300.

at what point is the human considered not a child?

the heart wants what the hearts wants.
the dick wants what the dick wants
the cunt wants wants what the dick wants

Sounds like a good reason to never have any intercourse with a human, because no elf wants to deal with all these offspring that may result of this relationship.

An interesting concept to do, that even though elves live for a much longer time, maybe it's just because of the way they live. They take it slow and with care, so they live a long time.

Getting into a relationship though is a serious investment of body, mind, and soul. An elf with an elf is fine since they go the same speed, but an elf with a human, the human lives fast and because they have such a close, strong bond, the elf also starts/has to live fast. Maybe it's not like the entire elf's life speeds up, but they could age at the same rate while in love together.

Say an adult elf of 100 with the physical "age" of a young man falls in love with an adult human with the physical age of a young woman, over the next 50 years of their lives together, they age at the same rate. His human love dies and he goes back to aging as normal, but he became an old elf man to her old human woman, so he's only got about maybe another 50 years left, rather than another 500 if he hadn't fallen in love.

...

>Nobody likes tons of kids and large families

See If elves already wanted large families they wouldn't need humans for it.

>Elven Pedofiles
I mean there's bound to be a few cases

It's almost universal in fantasy that elves are slow reproducers, certainly much slower than humans. Sometimes it's a biological thing, sometimes it's a cultural thing, sometimes it's a difference in lifespan thing.

Sure an elf couple over the course of their relationship can have as many kids as a human couple, but the human couple does so in a fraction of the time. And then those offspring similarly (relatively) quickly have families of their own, and so on.

>50 years, elf couple even trying as much as they can, maybe have 10 kids, and that's both phenomenal and ridiculous by elf standards
>10 years, the elf-human couple can have 10 kids and that's normal for humans

Maybe you could make a case that child bearing takes a huge toll on elf women so that's why it's so slow/hard for them. Then sure, an elf woman and a human man may have less kids. Nothing to slow the rate of child rearing for a human woman elf man though.

Just because humans do doesn't mean elves evolved that way too.

Sure, but elf-human relationships aren't a normal thing.

The idea is that these situations rarely happen, so it's fair to say one such reason that an elf-human relationship happened, is that in this case, this elf loves children and big families.

Welp I'm stealing that

The real question Is can I turn the campaign into "Django:(elf edition)" without getting lynched

>Family in the village is said to be cursed because every 2 generations a girl gets seduced by an elf and gives birth to a bastard.

>Turns out its the same elf every time, he's only in town once every 30 years or so and mistakenly thinks he's been seeing the same woman all that time.

Every 50-60 year old wants an attractive 18-20 year old to bang for awhile.

I like this. I think I'll incorporate it into my setting as how some of the more fae-like truly immortal wild hunt elves became the progenitors of the standard elves.

The elf version of gold digging is falling in love with you.
You meet her in high school, and spend your college years together, she encourages you to focus on a stem field and build contacts.
> Once you have a steady career she asks you to marry her, then sets up a joint saver account so that you can build a good credit rating and buy a house before you turn 30.
>No you never got to fuck around or visit Europe but you've got a QT elf wife who looks 18 and has a magic vagina.
>You never follow your dreams or risk your families future on that business idea but you find a quiet niche for yourself in middle management, you spend your best years in front of a computer, both at work and at home.
>Working 60 hours a week and putting half your wages into the pension plan is draining but you're happy. by the time you hit 50 you look 70 but you're content.
>You have 2 homes in the suburbs and a college plan for your half elf kid.
>On your 65th birthday you suffer a stress induced seizure and hit your head on the Granite floor your wife insisted on, your 35 year old son finds your body after getting out of bed at 2pm.
>Your elf wife is on tinder the next day.

a-user-kun...

are you okay?

>elves with alzheimers

sounds dumb

My elves go through something similar but not entirely the same. Over the course of their lives, they have so many experiences that, quite simply, they cannot remember them all. There simply isn't enough space on the hard drive, you see?

So once a century they undergo a process where they sort of... tidy it up. Meditate, important memories are preserved or saved in the mind like compressed files. Other things are discarded.

As they grow ever older, more and more things will have to be discarded, until the only thing they have of their first century may be one or two precious memories they refuse to let go of.

Stealing that

>And it turns out the bastard half elf offspring are surprisingly god, strong, magically adept and just plain ol' good

>the family in the end are greatful for that mysterious charming elf man who's impregnated their daughters with such great quality children that led them to greatness with their abilities.

clearly not ok, sorry buddy

We live in the moment, that's what consciousness is. A 40 year old man is living alongside and competing simultaneously with men half his age and half again his age as equals. The years of experience and memory amount to nothing before the moment you're living.

Due to the massive age difference and difference in lifespan elves probably view humans the same way a bestiaphile views a dog, or possibly they look at humans as though they were a dildo that talks back on occasion.
Elves who carry on relationships with humans probably view them as abnormally intelligent pets that you can fuck or walking sex toys.
Such relationships are probably viewed by other elves as being amusing periods of experimentation, similar to college lesbians, or as perversions against nature, dpending on how open minded elves are in the particular setting.

that's some nasty fucking grandfatherly incest shit.

Back several hours later

Where it gets complicated is when you have an elf who, for whatever reason, cannot perform this function correctly

Could be brain damage. Could be a disability they were born with. Could be they have some trauma that's so great they simply cannot let it go. These elves tend to wind up broken to some degree or another. I had one character who had family he could barely remember - he only dimly remembered he had fucked up somehow and his wife left him, and he was desperate to get her back. The details around them were always changing and incorrect because he could never remember them properly.

In the end it turned out he was remembering his own childhood, he was remembering his mother leaving his father, something he never got over and due to magical brain damage later in life got convoluted in his brain.

And then there are the Unseelie. Those guys are pretty much PTSD dark eldar

>generic anime girl
>(basically Mulder)
I don't know why this upsets me but it does.

The truth is out there oniichan, you double baka

top kek with the pervy elves lads

Gimli and Legolas did okay

Sometimes it just does, now are you going to take the human's sidequest and find their tree hugging lover or not?

This is cute

>Grandpa Haldor constantly visits his great-grandchildren all around the realm, bringing them wild gifts from his strange journeys in between each group of descendants' home

Humans don't take No for an answer, user

I approve of this!

>Elves normally take such care and such time with everything, among other elves moving at a snails pace for everything
>When a human goes for a quickie powerbang with their elf partner, there's a real risk that the elf might just die outright from a heart attack
>If not, they can go into a pleasure coma for a few days to weeks, because of what would normally take place over several days or even weeks and agonizingly slowly, their human partner does in a few minutes rough and fast, and the elf needs the time to "calm down" and let the sudden pleasure explosion slowly dissipate over the amount of time they'd be used to

For fun and without warning a human guy suddenly gives his elf wife an unexpected squeeze of the ass, or a human girl suddenly flashes her boobs to her unsuspecting elf husband, and the elf spouse nearly passes out as their heart rate skyrockets and they collapse to their knees in a panting mess desperately clutching their chest as their body suddenly floods with chemicals and hormones and desperately tries to suddenly get ready for something that it would normally have several whole days to slowly prepare for; arousal.

>Hey hun, I know normally I let you know a week in advance so you can get ready for when the time comes, but it's a human holiday called Valentine's Day so if it's alright with you to celebrate I'd like to do something special...
>Sure thing my lo-
>tonight.
>Elf's face when
>They have to spend all day frantically getting ready for something they'd normally have a week to prepare for

It'd be cool if an unspoken responsibility the Elf takes on, is traveling around to keep the family interconnected, like traveling and stopping off with each branch of the family all over the world for awhile, and carrying with them things from each family to give to each other. Eventually the family overall treats it as a mini special holiday when the elf ancestor comes to visit, laden with gifts from the other branches of the family tree.

>The number of letters alone is enough to fill a barrel

Plus if any member of the extended mixed race family showed adventurer promise, you just know that Grandpa Haldor has an elf friend or relative that's a master of literally anything you could think of (Mage cousin, ranger cousin, swordmaster nephew, you name it), so he could refer them for some prime instruction.

bump

I think there's diminishing returns for maturity per year lived especially for relatively stagnant lifestyles like elves often have.

The whole idea that of how long elves have to live before being mature enough to adventure compared to other races is rather silly.

There's also the consideration that older people can get stuck in their ways and be resistant to change and that could be magnified by the elders living significantly longer. Realistically it might make for a very backwards conservative society when the wisest oldest great sage and head council member of elfkind for life is gru'ub who thinks clothing beyond a leaf stuck in place with mud is an abomination and is still adamant that humans are a type of overgrown hairless squirrel and their words don't mean anything.

It's hardly even alzheimer's.
The science of forgetting is still fairly new but it's a very important feature of the mind.

Imagine if you couldn't forget. Every single second of your experiences shining out with equal perfect clarity in your memory.

Every breath spent on the toilet shitting, every bowl of cereal you've had, every time you tripped just a little and were embarrassed but no one noticed, every time that same catchy song you hate played on a radio you overheard, every time you were frightened by a sound in the dark. That's not even going into accidents and horrible events that can cause ptsd or other trauma.
And all of that is competing for space and focus with your first kiss and what you were supposed to do today and your own name.
Even if a mind could exist that would hold onto all of that would you want to?

No see, the elf's child fucks off elsewhere and she has another pure human kid. And then the elf she had a romantic fling with that she barely remembers comes and fucks her pure human grandaughter. And thus it continues.

1. Age does not actually equal maturity. Or wisdom. Not at all.

2. Advanced age does not necessarily mean your perception of the world is radically different, nor your perception of time. You have more experience, but that often means very little too. I suppose theoretically someone might becomes seriously alien and unrelatable after some 1500 years of life, but that doesn't stop 300-year-olds messing around with those adorable humans.

3. Relationships are not monolithic in nature. Some have depth, some are shallow. Some are long love stories, others are short flings. There's nothing stopping Iselandrine the Fair, elf maiden in her mid hundreds, from enjoying a brief relationship with one or two human dudes.

4. Elves are magical beings and don't necessarily have the same standards for maintaining a relationship as us. Maybe they don't care hugely about appearance in the same way we do, and aren't bumbed out about the effects of ageing. Maybe they see death as something natural and don't have a problem with a partner that will die long before them. Maybe, rather than shared experiences and lifestyles, they bond over different things, like purity of heart of other such mystical jazz.

5. The oldest stories of elves bedding humans generally involve them taking the human away to a land where there is no sickness, or ageing, or death, because something about that human is too 'good' for the flawed mortal world.

6. Judging by your OP image, I'm going to assume you're that one guy that shows up in every elf thread to throw a tantrum about any elves that aren't literally Aenarion or Faenor, especially anime elves. If so, please leave Veeky Forums forever, you are a complete detriment to every thread you're in, especially elf threads, which you invariably derail into pointless arguing.

>6. Judging by your OP image, I'm going to assume you're that one guy that shows up in every elf thread to throw a tantrum about any elves that aren't literally Aenarion or Faenor, especially anime elves. If so, please leave Veeky Forums forever, you are a complete detriment to every thread you're in, especially elf threads, which you invariably derail into pointless arguing.
That's me, not OP.

If I could bring it up on call like normal memories, yes. I for one am tired of real memories fuzzing over or editing themselves into fictitious accounts of reality. Having your brain lie to you on a regular basis is pretty shitty

>Imagine if you couldn't forget.
>And all of that is competing for space
But if you couldn't forget, there is no competition for space. Shitting and kissing retain equal clarity forever

No, I'm Elf Shitpostercus!

Please don't bump a thread if you don't have anything to contribute.

I'm bumping out of spite for you.

Me too.

Please don't bump a thread if you don't have anything to contribute.

I'm bumping out of spite for you.

I had a hearty kek

way i figured it was always that it was young stupid elves. Yeah a mature 9000 year old wouldn't do it, but that young elf who just turned 100 and finally got out of the grove and is feeling adventurous? To them the human is exotic. They have their little fling with a human, have their fun, and then the human dies and they move on and grow up.

Except Arwen was 3000 years old.

>Not training your elf wife to be ready and waiting every time you so much as grab her ass
>Not fucking her so hard that she gets horny whenever she thinks of you

It's like you aren't even trying sempai

I've always been found the elves are racist assholes who think way too much of themselves trope hilarious.

Had a game where the elf bard kept hitting on human barmaids, and the other elf warrior basically calling him a coalburner. It was fucking hilarious.

>little elf girl says she's 21

Well yes, but i'm not thinking in terms of lord of the rings or specific named characters, i'm just thinking in terms of generic fantasy. That's the explanation that makes the most sense to me.

Most elves in most generic fantasy live about 1000 years at maximum, with some exceptions, I'm not counting Fae here. OP seemed to be talking about LOTResque truly biologically immortal elves.

You seem to be assuming it works like pulling up a file in a computer but minds and memory aren't that clear cut.
Imagine getting stung by a bee but you can't just put it out of your mind and forget about it while you go about other tasks, you have to remember it forever with equal weight with all other memories. Even just valuing one memory over another involves focusing on it and devoting some of your overall memory to it in place of other less important memories.

One explanation of ptsd is that it is an inability to forget in a way, and it can cripple function.

They don't but I would imagine Elves view relationships far different than humans do. Elves to me don't really seem interested in companionship in the same sense that humans value it.

I really like the lion capes

Why is "I can fix him" such a big thing for the womz?

It's logic colliding with emotion
"I'm attracted to this guy"
Vs
"He's bad for me long term"

>ywn give joy to a lonely elf woman

Someone hold me

That's actually really sweet

Didn't Dungeon Meshi have a thing about Elves idolizing the "Lost Love" trope? Basically the idea of a lover who dies young is like an Elven fetish, so they have a real thing for Humans.

But that's just it, this fictitious elf's mind would be clear cut by virtue of having perfect memory. All that shit that makes human memory unpleasant is because our minds have limited capacity and can't keep everything that's fed into it, so it picks and chooses what's important and drags it to the surface so as to not be cleared during it's normal purging process of insignificant memories. And it does all this entirely without our conscious input, so you end up with traumas on replay in your head. But something with perfect recall would have no need for this process, since nothing is ever cleared. There's no need for their mind to value one memory over another because everything can fit.