Give me a character that would get you kicked out of every group that plays that specific game

>3 pages worth of criminal charges
>bailed out the very next day by Felicia Day

i miss moot

I miss drew.

Keep a stiff upper lip, buddy.

Eclipse Phase, uplifted tentacle monster played completely straight like a hentai character. Use the word "rape" at least once per turn. If the GM insists on a humanoid form, skin a dead little girl and use that as a full body mask.

As someone else who doesn't hate him, I think it's a lot of carry over of hating Wesley Crusher mixed with a heavy dose of him not doing himself any favors by portraying himself insincerely as more of a nerd than he is.
Nerds want to hate him.
I think he's found a way to profit from them anyway.
>WayToGoWes.nohomo.jpg

Octopus uplift indentured pornstar. In reality the octopus is the one being raped.

Know a GM who had a recurring NPC pretty much like that

Everytime a PC would try to bring up some weird fetish of his into the game, that old nympho granny would show up and try to pressure the PC into giving her a piece of the action.

Congrats, stat-wise, you just described a Summoner in Pathfinder with the Master Summoner archetype (spam multiple Summon Monster spells at once) with the Leadership feature leading a bunch of lower level summoners with the same archetype.

why would they even make a class like that? Do they have no sympathy for their GMs or other players for that matter?

What fun can a fight be if a single player has more turns in a round than everyone else in the party combined?

Right, so let me explain this in simple terms. No GM would let a player play Master Summoner, and no sane GM would trust a player with Leadership, especially not a Summoner and especially a Summoner with that archetype who plans to recruit folks of that same shit.

Normally, a Summoner can only have their Eidolon out or a single Summon Monster spell active, but Master Summoner fucked the limit on how many Summon Mosnters you can have going while weakening your Eidolon. Once you get to Unchained Summoner, you actually find something kind of balanced since the Eidolon is a little weaker and I believe you get less Summon Monsters per day, plus you can't use the Master Summoner archetype with it. Also, fun fact, Paizo never allowed Master Summoner archetype to be used in Pathfinder Society for pretty much the reason I stated except Leadership was already banned before it.

Before someone says I'm just talking shit, yes, I regularly play Pathfinder, and yes, I have seen Master Summoner run in a campaign. It was literally hell until the GM said we should each run one of the monsters the guy summoned so we each got to an extra turn instead of him having a half dozen turns.

Still though, never run Master Summoner or let someone play it. Literally cancer even without Leadership bullshit.

this

my sides are in space now.

Wait, people actually use Leadership for combat? Good god, why? It's for populating your base, or a really quick way to gen an encounter.

Speaking of,
For Pathfinder, if the DM allows psionics: Dromite Tactician, prestige into Thrallherd ASAP. Play him as a complete narcissist who only tolerates his herd because he thinks of them as an extension of himself. Always tries to maneuver into a leadership position, despite having no real leadership skills and relying too much on mind control. Do it right, and the party will actually cheer when he's inevitably smashed like a roach by an annoyed GM.

This?
Patrick Stewart is based.

It's possible you've missed the shittier things he's done in recent years.

That was it.
He is indeed, quite awesome.

Since his birth Draco always felt like something was wrong. As he grew up, he began to have stranger and stranger feelings. At the age of twenty six he volunteered for an experimental procedure to genetically modify a subhuman animal to have human intelligence, and it would need a human mind. The test subject was a fox, or at least it used to be a fox, now it stood bipedal and had opposable thumbs. Draco lied down on the operating table and prepared for the mind swap and-

hey why are you pushing me out of the room?

Wait, so citing an incorrect source is a really shitty thing he has done in recent years, shitty enough to make it into the top of the list?
Because if so, then most anons are way worse than he is.

>Sneaking about a villain's castle
>Wil suddenly waves his hands in alarm
>"Guys, wait, hold up."
>"What, what's wrong, Wil?"
>"We're not doing any of the banter."
>"The what?"
>"You know, banter! We have to argue and act smug and smarmy at each other until we get interrupted and then someone drops a one-liner. Standard operating procedure."
>"What? Why would we do that?"
>"Because it's funny!"
>"We don't care about funny, we care about effective!"
>"Look, if we're not going to do this the right way, I'll just scout ahead and do the gag where I talk to myself until I get interrupted because I realize something important or get stopped."
>"What? Wil, we're infiltrating a castle here, not doing a comedy-"
>Suddenly a set of guards turn the corner
>"Intruder-"
>Cut off by a knife to the throat by Wil
>"See? Banter!"

t.wheaton

>tentacle rapist
I wouldn't mind that in my game, it would spice things up. Hit me with your Discord and I'll add you.

Did Wil Wheaton rip off all his RPG knowledge from 8-bit Theater?

Beats me. I just based it off of the Avengers movie.

Joss Whedon wrote The Avengers.

Huh. Well, I'll be sitting over here eating crow pie.
Never was good at keeping track of directors.

He... doesn't even direct moves.

I haven't seen the Master Summoner shenanigans added in with Leadership to the degree I mentioned, however, I have seen cohorts brought along by folks like the cavalier and paladin in the party (usually squires and such). Most spellcasters do just leave their Leadership followers and cohorts behind at the base (guild, wizard tower, academy, whatever you want to call your magical organization), but I am certain that some fool does it and does it the way I mentioned because the GM hasn't realized that flaw in the system. Most GMs thankfully take a lot to convince to allow Leadership in select cases, mostly only for specific character concepts.

Let's say I want even more minions for even more turn-hogging fuckery. Who has a higher body count, Master Summoners or Necro Clerics with all the relevant feats? Is there a practical way to dual class both? If I add in Leadership, should I try to have a lot of Charisma or will it not matter? Is it possible to have more bodies than you can cover with a single cast of mass AoE buff effects? Can I put a bunch of points into Animal Handling to train up a bunch of attack wolves, too? How much further can I go before the cancer metastasizes?

Can't say on the first question, no because you should never multi-class as a Summoner as you lose out on your Summon Monster spell-like ability numbers, yes because you're a Summoner and Charisma does actually play into your Leadership score, probably since at the highest Leadership scores, you can have over a hundred level 1 followers, you can do it with dogs, not sure about wolves, but remember, they're just wolves, you're in Pathfinder, the cancer is already terminal because of kitsunefags in the general thread.

Sweet, thanks. I might use something like this as an enemy encounter if I ever run a game, but I don't think I have the heart to inflict it on the poor guy running our games now.

>magical bandit summoners skin and sell kitsune hides to support their billion-strong army

Don't do it, your players will get pissed off... Though with proper build-up to him/her, it might come off better.

>ywn cuddle with a horny battle loli summoner
Life is suffering.

Pic related for Dark Heresy.

Underrated. Don't worry user, I liked it.

>try to join groups with Sans character design just for a laugh
>someone accepts it

I would pay a lot of money to see this get turned into a short film

Don't, Will Wheaton will actully get to star in it and will turn this into a "look how craaaaazy Willy boy is XD, he's such a NERD!!!" film

don't explicitly make it will wheaton, just make it a "popular internet celebrity." don't reveal it was supposed to be will until it's released

I didn't know moot when to that con. When was that?

A 10 year old sorceress whose husband has been kidnapped and she is on a quest to save him. She actually was using magic to brainwash the guy into being her husband but the spell wore off and he took the chance to escape.

Nope, that's amusing to me. I'd allow it.

Most likely they intended it to be for NPCs, but this is Paizo, so I can't be sure of that.

I'm a furfag, so just indulging in my fetish is all it takes to get megakicked.
>Lunatic Mode
90% of people cannot tell the difference between actual furfaggotry and ironic furfaggotry.
Hell, I bet just posting this is enough to get kicked from Veeky Forums.

Holy shit. As someone who hates this asshole with a passion, I can't belive that I've never used him as an inspiration for one of my minor villains.

Running AoR right now, might use him as some smug-ass Imperial officer.

Chaotic Evil Kender Rogue/Monk

Put me in the screencap.

I've already made the screencap, posted it on leddit and did not include you.

Here are some characters you can propose that will get you (gently) axed or replaced from my campaign at chargen due to me having too many bad experiences with such players:
-Little girl
-Kitsune or similar "appealing" fursona (you could, however, play a hybrid werecrocodile or werehippo if you like)
-Transgender
-Serial killer or cannibal (especially if transgender)
-Described as having bad hygiene and the character isn't a monstrous humanoid
-I'll let you play a woman if you're male because EVERYONE does even though it can be a red flag for ignorant and lewd behavior- on that note, I wish I could ax Chaotic Stupid characters but I'd have no one to play with if I enforced these two policies

So a little girl kitsune who is trans, has bad hygene and is a serial killing cannibal?
I'm half tempted to see if I can make that character work.

>So a little girl kitsune who is trans, has bad hygene and is a serial killing cannibal?
Exactly. For easymode try it during Pathfinder Society at your FLGS, they'll find it difficult to shut you down

The question is, which is the worse interpretation of "trans little girl" a boy who wants to be a girl, or a girl who wants to be a boy?

Also, since I've never played a trans character before how would one bring up that the character is trans?

The question is, which is the worse interpretation of "trans little girl" a boy who wants to be a girl, or a girl who wants to be a boy?
A boy who wants to be a girl. It's likely for a girl who wants to be a boy to be considered a spunky innocent, and it's likely for a boy who wants to be a girl to be considered a voracious powerbottom homosexual. This is why almost all public discourse about trannies all the way back to Rome is about MtFs instead of vice versa

A robot, in any system other than Engine Heart.

>Hating on Warforged.

>forcing the police negotiator to roll a Bard over the radio

It's a kitsune, can't it just change its illusion to be whatever? Actually, that would just make it more confusing.

Ideally, a good trans character is physically one character but played like another, with a big pile of depression and self loathing thrown in thanks to identity issues. If you want to make a problem character, though, you'll want to complain loudly about your "attributes" every time the conversation goes somewhere useful and talk about how it'd be so awesome to use the bathroom normally, and any time someone tells you to knock it off you go on about how they're repressing you and don't understand your lifestyle. If you're lucky, there'll be a real trans person nearby to punch you, which'll get you thrown out fast.

>transgender
>transgender cannibal/serial killer
I sense a story behind these. Also curious as to what you mean by transgender in context of the game. Cross dresser or actively trying to chop bits up?

Also everyone you play with are men playing chaotic stupid women? I sense a story here too.

>Worse
I'd say boy to girl.

>bring it up
Like an asshole. Shove it in everyone's face. Start sentences with "Well as a trans person I.....".

>If you're lucky, there'll be a real trans person nearby to punch you, which'll get you thrown out fast.
*get them thrown out fast

Whoever made that screencap could outdo a season of real housewives at being a fucking drama queen.

Top tier

>transgender cannibal/serial killer
This specific permutation was played by a fat girl who might have wanted to be FtM but liked boy dick too much to give up easy access to it
>Cross dresser or actively trying to chop bits up?
The first, dunno about the latter
I've also seen the trans furry kitsune character at a Pathfinder Society game in Seattle. The guy playing it spat visibly whenever he said anything

>Also everyone you play with are men playing chaotic stupid women? I sense a story here too.
That's my current group. They do a garish and lurid characterization of female sexuality typical of transvestites imitating women. Seduction is their go-to method of infiltration and to my shame I usually entertain them because I'm hidebound to the rules

Come on son, we all know you got some stories up your sleeves. Groups like that cannot exist without producing lulz.

Mostly it's just the tone of their conversations with men in the game. On occasion they've seduced enemies as a prelude to killing them, for example getting the upper hand on a group of evil enforcers in their bunkhouse by pretending to be dancing prostitutes sent by the local major brewery, which was admittedly a decent ruse. I don't find it lulzy, just tiresome

Never stand between the crazy and the object of her affection.
Especially when it's so romantic.

I don't understand a single one of these jokes.

man that's tragic.

You sound severely autistic

I just don't keep up with all that celebrity shit.

The fact that you think someone has to be up on "celebrity shit" to find that scenario funny is an indication of something.
I can't diagnose it yet, but it's not good.

I didn't think it that great, but couple lines were.

It honestly feels out of context and like it has some kind of agenda.

...

>It honestly feels out of context and like it has some kind of agenda.
100%

Still kinda funny in its absurdity.

If I smell an agenda on something, it loses a lot of its' value to me, comedic or not.
It's pavlovian.

It's less him personally and more the fact that he encourages the outspoken white-knight nu-nerd culture that has spread like venom through the English speaking world and brought many a pointless argument over pronouns or shitty off-topic reference fests to our basement collective.

t. Guy who lived with an unironic WW worshiper for a year.

>"Yes I will be wielding 3 swords in this fashion for the duration of the game"

>Do you meet the requirements?
>NO, but its about role play not roll play.

Half-dragon Half-kender Bountybarian
Goes on adventures to find new things to put in his urethra

How's your gnoll paladin?

As a very funny, very racist, very dead, very commercially unsuccessful black comedian and writer once said:
"If it's funny, fuck 'em."

Seriously wish I could recall his name.

I wish it were that easy, racist dead black funny man.
I just check out entirely when I smell someone trying to push something on me.
It's part of my anti-scam and anti-fuckup defense network.
Honed keenly after years of living with hippies and dealing with old women not understanding people are taking advantage of them online.

Triggered

And people say Veeky Forums isn't good anymore

Can I play the ex-brainwashed schmuck who's secretly a member of the party attempting to evade detection by acting like he's "helping" her search efforts, and subtly trying to dissuade her by pointing her in the direction of people her own age while keeping her off his trail?

Got to overcome your prejudices mang!
If you stop listening just cause somebody has an agenda, you're fucked if their agenda woulda helped you mang.

Truth is truth.
Funny is funny.
Ignoring is ignorance.

I feel the loss of one or two bits of comedy is worth it to keep myself away from that whole pile of bullshit.
And the scam prevention helps too.

The fact is that you don't know what you miss when you ignore whole groups of things.
I don't like country music.
But Johnny Cash kicks ass.

Thankfully, my feelings towards music are so bland and pleblike that I listen to most everything but the most awful of rap.
Also thankfully people who scam via hype things are very rare. Only time I ever fell for one of those is with vaporware, and I didn't even pay into those. Just, you know, really wanted it.

You want my theory, most of Veeky Forums identified with Wesley Crusher growing up (and I suppose that most people are the Mary Sues of their own lives, but not like that), WW has been successful at being Wesley Crusher but most have not been successful at being Wesley Crushers.

I don't mind him, he's doing his thing and good for him. His successes and my failures are independent variables.

Thank god I dodged the star trek bullet.
Instead I somehow got to watch cyberpunk anime that was WAY beyond what was supposed to be seen by my age group.