What's the most unrealistic thing about the way fantasy inns are depicted?

Multiple species and races co-habiting together without violence, tension and mistrust.

the fact that there's always someone willing to spill important hints pertaining to the current quest you happen to be on

if a bunch of outsiders showed up to the bar in my town and started acting like they owned the place and asking around for the whereabouts of this that or the other, the boys would throw them out on their asses

Screwy economics?

>Level one adventurer easily finds a magic sword worth 35 gold
>Bar wench makes a copper per night

WHAT

FOOD! The fact that almost all inns/taverns have a menu with several items to choose from.

A level one adventurer is greater than an entire village of commoners. This is pretty much stated in the Player's Handbook.

>Stenchy necromancer walks in
>She has a rotting carcass strapped to her back with leather thongs
>The patrons and the workers seem unperturbed and remain very pleasant and calm

Exaplain dis

By the way, what's the difference between an inn and a tavern?

I'm a non-english speaker...

It's an instrument called a "Hurdy Gurdy".

The fact that they even exist. There weren't really hotels in medieval England. For the most part travelers had to bunk with a random peasant.

Hurdy Gurdy is fucking awesome

I live in a capital city, when work sends me to some bum fuck village and i go and have a drink or something to eat there shit is DIRT cheap. We are talking 80% cheaper. Chances are the food is mostly roadkill but still it's cheap. I don't think it's that much of a stretch in a fantasy setting.

In a village? Complete terror?
Inns have rooms for sleeping guests.

>A bunch of commoners
>Throwing a group of hardened superhumans out on their ass

This is a based book.

>A bunch of commoners
>Throwing a group of hardened superhumans out on their ass

Rpgs don't often take place in medieval england

>thread about applying 'realism' to RPGs
>guy chimes in with relevant history knowledge and this user is triggered

I think you're lost, traveller.

>food options beyond whatever variation of vaguely edible soup the owner decided to cook up today
>modern cleanness standards being observed
>overabundance of dark corners more or less permanently inhabited by assholes with overly dark and tragic backstories

if youre finding a magic sword at level 1 your GM is fucked, and multiply the cost of a magic sword by a lot....but youre still right, youd come back to town with 250+gp of random shit and fuck up the town's economy. we just got done buying a whole barrel of beer for 3 gold last session. thats 264 pints

>Go to fantasy public house in a small village
>people are smashing jugs of wine and tankards of wheat-beer on the ground to express how happy they are
>someone accidentally nudged someone else's elbow
>fight ensues, everyone joins in
>black eyes and broken noses all round
>in total about a tenth of the entire town's wealth is destroyed, in the form of shattered mugs, broken chairs and doctors bills
>half the town's workforce is too injured to work for weeks
>according to the barkeep, this is a pretty ordinary night

Really makes you wander about these country bumpkins

>Level one adventurer easily finds a magic sword worth 35 gold

There's no part of this statement that makes any sense.

Unless the sword is actually a cursed -1 sword that's enchanted to be easy to find and make the bearer think it's worth 35 gold.

This would be fairly normal in, say, an alehouse in late medieval/renaissance London. Urban centres were notorious for drunken violence. Pic related was a famous ass poet and playwright and got stabbed the fuck to death for no reason by some random in the course of as much.

I think pleb fantasy writers and the DMs influenced by them just started transposing these received understandings of pre-modern tavern culture onto their bumpkin ass settings.

>My edgy special super snowflake waifu lvl 11 spellcaster can't POSSIBLY fall victim to angry villagers.

If anyone tries this in my world, I remind them that just because they're powerful, doesn't mean other people aren't also powerful.

Then the bartender pulls a wand out from under the bar.

Tip your bartender

This is why I need feminism.

>Of course every bartender, city guard and villain's henchman a lvl 20 gestalt fighter/wizard. What else did you expect?

...

>and then I told em there was treasure up by Death Lake
>Death Lake? YOU FUCKING MAD MAN!
>I know right? Nothing but a thousand angry mosquitos and constant rain.
>entire bar bursts into laughter

It's less a class sealing and more a wall of force

>No, they won't solve the town's various problems on their own, despite being more than capable.

The hurdy gurdy is fucking great.

youtube.com/watch?v=_DX08nQows0

>A lack of women compared to all the men. Any bar that's a sausage fest goes out of business, taverns were the same.

That wouldn't be true in any historical context. Taverns were were a place for working men and travelers, while women usually drank at home.

Depending on the period, women in taverns were either in the company of their husbands, or were assumed to be prostitutes.

This is awful and you should feel ashamed.

My gnome bard has a magic steam-powered Hurdy Gurdy. This is what I use for the soundtrack:
youtube.com/watch?v=YIxcbq-_8BQ&list=PL1xPTMolq0d9IUoz26jdzn7e-Xi2IhPVl&index=10

>or were assumed to be prostitutes.

Given all women are prostitutes, that's not that an unreasonable assumption.

Somebodies not getting laid

>mfw eriador inns don't have menus

>He hasn't read the ballet of Edgardo

Get the fuck out newfag.

There it is.

Video not available, got another link?

It makes for great campaign sound, soulful, melancholic etc.

Most "unrealistic" thing is usually the restroom/toilet facilities...

Im definetly making some commoners lie to my pcs just for the lulz

The Inn has a basement that needs rats or bugs or something removed/investigated.

Most of your rumors will be heard here, and only here.

The quiet and competent tavern/inn owner that has a deeper, more mysterious history than you first realized.

Cockney-accented peasants.

Etc.

Probably not in medieval England but the aroman Empire, the Ottoman Empire and, from around 1600, Japan did have inn-like accomodation.

It took me a while to find this
youtube.com/watch?v=lnpB9bVyNDs
I was originally going to post some french folk but all the french folk I know of doesn't have hurdy grudys, they have sick bass beats tho

>DMs who don't create a realistic "ecology" of monsters, heroes, and villains, but instead give you a video game style "scaling" so you never feel like you're progressing in real power or influence

I wish I could hate you to death.

ZINGER!

f*cking epic amirite xD

>i-it's NOT FUNNY women are just EVIL BITCH WHORES!!!

Probably the fact that our fame amounts to nothing for them. I mean, you save the world a few times and muderated some huge nasties, you'd figure a couple innkeeps would have heard or you or at least be willing to give you free rooms.

What kind of shit holes do you go to?

Weird. Ours has that.

That's nothing, there's a guy who stands outside a shopping centre near where I live and plays a violin-trumpet thing. It really takes the weirdness out of exotic instruments

>just a collection of random instruments being performed probably by amateurs who aren't professional musicians

I don't see the issue.

E D G Y

Actually, realistically, and a believable source of conflict in a fantasy setting.

>edgy
>implying this isn't likely

wew lad

The amount of fights the break out
>depending on your DM

>realistic scenario is edgy

The truth cuts deep.

Bars were what Facebook is today, a place to catch up on local news and what your friends are up to. They weren't just a place to drink like modern bars.

youtube.com/watch?v=iijKLHCQw5o

The cleanliness of the inn

Real life confirmed pure edge.

What's ahistorical about cockney-accent peasants? Is cockney accent a modern thing?

Cockney is more of an urban thing, IIRC. It'd be like blacks in a Civil War piece speaking modern Ebonics.

>Renting rooms

Weirdly, no. Coaching inns and hotels have been renting rooms for a very long time.

Major roads and cities had hotels for a very long time.

>Mugs
>Worth anything

Earthware was cheap as fuck, yo.

Written menus are unlikely, but a selection of food is not. The second business man ever made was a restaurant to sell food next to the whorehouse.

The really unrealistic part is..

>Taverns, Inns and Hotels are all the same thing

Very distinct things. Inns and hotels generally did business almost exclusively with people traveling for business. You'd have merchants in them, not locals, and few people traveled for pleasure. (Mostly because traveling was, in general, an exhausting ordeal).

Cockney is a east London accent. It's a very distinct, regional thing.

It would make more sense for a Yorksire farmer to be speaking Dutch.

There are conflicting theories about the death of Christopher ("Kit") Marlowe.
As well as the random assault, other ideas include it being a jealous lover (he was bisexual) or that the killer was in the employ of Spanish spies (he was rumoured to have been an agent of Dr John Dee).

Typically something like en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_stew would be more realistic. The ale would probably also be watered down home brewed trash or other awful local shit.

I'm aware, mate, but what I was getting at is that alehouse violence was common enough that nobody batted an eye when he got shanked.

Weren't the inns depicted in fantasy only a thing in China until like the 18th century?

World wide plumbing is the one thing I'm willing to handwave as
>Wizard did it to save time on bathroom trips

There being inns is pretty out there

In London, the largest city in the world, sure. But not in random-peasant-village#218.

Honestly? D&D makes a lot more sense as a bit later than Medieval anyway.
Conveniently, that guy also wrote a book on Elizabethan England. I'm reading it now.

Also, that book has citations for shit in the back, doesn't it? Can you post the one about hotels as well as what the book itself says about them?

Who cares about historicity? Make what's realistic for your setting. If your setting IS historic to tbe hilt then by all means, fuck taverns. If you're playing a high fantasy game though, businesses are bound to spring up around the income and VIOLENCE adventurers promise.

I once had a rogue whose character goal was to amass a fortune and gain contacts with a bunch of wizards and important folk, then open the ultimate tavern, with anti magic security and baths and a spell shielded arena and a chilled wine cellar and a bank elemental and all kinds of shit.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caravanserai

>thinks Edgardo isn't complete shit
Return to Reddit, faggot.

>he thinks edgardo fans are reddit plebs

>What's the most unrealistic thing about the way fantasy inns are depicted?
>CTRL+F: potato
>0 results

What has happened to my Veeky Forums?

It's cringy either way.

That they are privately owned and that you pay for their services. Your usual roadside inn is there for the safety of merchants and travelers, no different than the soldiers who patrol the road or the workmen who keep it and bridges in good repair.

>This is awful and you should feel ashamed.
Correction: This is one of only two good things from something awful and literally the only line worth reading.

Edgardo is unprocessed sewage, which puts it a step or two above it's author.

Wait so the local government would run them as part of public safety?

Surely there'd still be a guy selling food and booze and sleeping accommodations better than "the cold floor, but hey you aren't being murdered in your sleep by bandits so shut up"

>Wait so the local government would run them as part of public safety?
Well, it would go a long way towards explaining why every bartender is also a retired high level warrior.

From what I've read, most of the time inns simply couldn't pay for themselves, even when given license to brew and serve alcohol. But it was still in the interest of the city or the kingdom to have them, partially because it encourages trading travelers to actually do their thing and come trade with the city, partially because it meant less pressure on the local residents to accommodate travelers as well as the less-honest sorts taking advantage of them.

That they aint called Public Houses.

this is completely false even to this day in many regions and nations.

I do some annoying ass shit to my players to keep them in check and I still don't do that shit. My current players are level 6 and it's pretty much implied that, barring major effort, typical villagers and guards can't do a whole lot to them.

They still have to be on their best though because they aren't the only adventurers in the setting and bounty hunters like taking down cocky adventures.

>this is completely false even to this day in many regions and nations.
Silly user, don't you know that the only reason anyone ever went to a bar or tavern in all of human history was to score Mad Honeyz like is clearly doing every night?
Amirite?

>Marlowe
>Stabbed the fuck to death for no reason
>Not politically assassinated for his religious and sexual preferences by a man who was mysteriously pardoned

Wake up sheeple.

they are made by people who dont spend a lot of time in bars

I mean what I was saying was it was common enough for people to go to the alehouse and wind up killed that his death didn't provoke much comment outside of poetic circles memorialising his genius. I am aware of the evidence to suggest that he was bumped off deliberately.

A lack of parasites. Hell no am I bedding down at a bumblefuck inn where the fleas and lice are complementary.