Okay boys, I desperately need planning help. Goblins. I'm gonna greentext everything so you know my situation...

Okay boys, I desperately need planning help. Goblins. I'm gonna greentext everything so you know my situation, but the general issue is goblin horde attacking town with 60~ guards and a wooden palisade in the next two days.

>Goblin village near town, every time I go into the dungeon there's goblins and wargs, wasting my resources
>besides that, want to destroy goblin village for character reasons
>too many goblins though, this is 2e
>know there's around 400~ goblins
>come up with plan, set up defences, hire civies and get guards to help, use Charm Person to attract horde of goblins to set point
>Horde arrives, they outnumber our defenders almost 2:1, more than I was expecting
>defences are strong enough, though, so I'm not scared
>DM pulls out mass combat rules from Rulecyclopedia
>"Roll a d100"
>things go... fine for a few rolls, but when the goblins manage to close, I flub a few rolls(20~), and things aren't going good, the goblins have climbed onto the hill.
>I move to the front, but I'm mostly running support(chant to give my side +1 to hit and damage and theirs -1 to both, unlimited duration but it's basically all I can do)
>spot major enemy commander reach top of hill, send the guard commander(like, level 8) to fight him, he takes him out before the next roll, and I switch up my chant to let people know
>got a few extra bonuses, time to roll another D100
>Natrual 100
>Bonuses are bigger than I thought, goblins only roll mediocre
>my boys push forward and kill like 70 goblins out of 100 in ten minutes
>win the battle, but there's still way more goblins out there, and I can't afford to pay for another battle(basically no money left)
>time to go into the forest to hunt goblins myself

>reach the goblin village again
>last time I was here I fucked with some sentries in the forest
>want to capture goblins for various plans, but also just want to make an example so the goblins know they're on notice
>they have a warg rider this time. If I attack outright, he'll go warn them.
>instead, spend a few hours digging a pit and putting spikes in it
>goblin sentries go to go back to village, two fall in pit, along with warg
>kill all the goblins and the warg, commit a few warcrimes to make them know it's personal(recreate wounds from the fight that decided the battle at the hill earlier, take heads, carve names in their chests)
>move on, next day spot another patrol, just goblins, go for it
>attack, kill a few, but one blows a whistle and I hear wargs coming
>finish the fight, three goblins run, and four wargs arrive
>fight off wargs, things go well enough, but I have to rethink things
>time passes, go back to town for supplies, I have an idea
>go about three hours up river from the goblin town
>dig trench and block river to redirect it, cut off their water supply
>goblins come to investigate
>19 goblins, 4 wargs
>it'll be tough, but we can handle it
>lead them off so we can fight the wargs first
>Fight the wargs, things don't go well but I use my priest magic to keep everyone on their feet
>goblins arrive as we put down the last warg
>there's about 13 rank and file goblins, and 6 leaders
>things look fine, only get one kill but the thief hasn't gone yet and he's stealthed
>pops up for his backstab
>flubs the damage roll
>can't hide again
>immediately takes a slash across the chest then a spear to the chest
>gets thrown back
>down
>out
>probably dead
>not an auspicious start to the fight

>Fight continues on from there
>relatively poor rolls from gobs, as expected, but we're taking them down too slow, and taking damage
>slowly whittle their numbers, but have to use my two remaining cure light wounds to keep me and one of the fighters standing
>no healing spells for the downed thief, who I can't get to right away
>takes SEVERAL rounds to do significant damage to the rank-and-file goblins, while the leaders stay in back
>eventually the leaders throw a volley of spears at us, mostly missing, but one manages to utterly destroy the fighter's shield and pierce his arm
>he goes mad, yells my goddess' name(he did not previously worship Athena)
>Draws his hand-axe and goes full two weapon HAM
>kills two goblins in the first round
>goblins mostly run, but three of the leaders stay
>he cuts down a fleeing goblin with his handaxe and starts fighting the three goblins, who quickly surround him
>me and the archer down one of the remaining goblins, he takes down a second
>last goblin decides to run, but I use charm person, and manage to convince him to burn down the warehouse
>run to the thief
>he's bad
>almost dead
>make a heal check, roll a 3, but it's roll under, so that's good
>stabilise him
>begin praying non-stop for spells, hoping Athena will aid me, since he won't last eight hours, and he has a spear still in his chest that I can't take out
>no dice yet
>suddenly, fighter kneels beside me and joins me in prayer
>he's been converted, fully
>Athena grants me one spell- cure light wounds
>go to the thief
>DM says to roll a heal check and cure light at the same time
>roll 3 under 13, excellent
>roll a 1 on the cure light
>he's not improved, but not worsened
>spend the next day and a half getting him back to town, local healers throw all their magic into him, but his arm's fucked, he'll never use it again
>he's done adventuring forever
>it was fun while it lasted, little guy

now, what comes next might seem obvious, but it legitimately didn't occur to me

>night comes, giving thanks to Athena
>vision comes to me
>the goblin village, but the whole thing, from the homes to the wharehouse to the shitty, outer wall, is on fire
>they can't put out the fires that were started because I fucked up their water supply
>vision shifts, I see the town smith at the top of the tower lording over the dilapidated ruins of the castle that serves as the local dungeon
>an owl soars overhead as the smith holds two crowns, one of poor crafstmanship with chips and shards of bone, a goblin crown, and one of gold and fine craftsmanship
>I recognise the other as a circlet I destroyed earlier in the campaign that was designed to control undead for a specific wearer
>he reforges the two crowns into a single, greater crown
>the vission shifts again to the goblin village, but as it burns the image changes, and it's no longer the walls of the goblin village that burn, but the wooden palisades that protect the village I've taken up residence in
>the goblins are coming
>as the vision ends, I hear a commotion from outside, and a great plume of smoke is rising in the distance, from the goblin town
>I have, at most, two days to prepare

Please Veeky Forums, I don't know what to do. My priest is only third level, and the fighters are second and third level respectively. I want to save the town, but I don't know what I can do in two days to turn ~150 goblin combatants into a battle we can win. The only plus is that, by the time they get here, most of them will be weak with hunger and thirst. I can only hope that'll slow them down, and not spur them on.

tl;dr

I put the tl;dr at the start bud

Do what the Mongols did. Try rerouting the river with some help to try to flood out the goblins.

Flooding them out won't help anything, they're already moving- to us. The reason they're coming is because their home is utterly destroyed.

Poison outlying wells and water sources.

Need more details: What is the terrain around the town and what additional resources do you have? What is the interior of the town like?
Ideas: lay lines of pitch/oil in gobbos likely path and have fire arrows ready, can you funnel their forces in any way to help remove numbers advantage? Just pack up as much of the town as you can lure the gobbos into the abandoned shell and then burn it all down let fire finish what it started.

If the village has proper walls, burn the fields and get all supplies inside. Let them try and siege you out, and they will starve and break.

If this is not an option, I would say that the first rule of war is to not let the enemy seize the initiative, and not let the enemy decide the battleground.

A concerted night-attack with the remaining men of the village, and your party might be an option. Go straight for the heart of their camp, set fire to their tents as you go along, try to kill their leader.

Or just pack up the villagers and run. Winning isn't always an option.

Why didn't you just poison the water supply?

When did that happened?

mostly farms with forest farther out, not much for additional resources but we do have a church with a decent number of level one priests, and there's hunters in the surroundings. Interior is just a small town. I'm not sure we can funnel them, but it might be worth trying, they're not smart so they might willingly follow the path of least resistance.

it's just wooden palisades, and they just came from a burning town. They'll burn the walls down before laying a proper siege. They won't have tents or anything, all their shit got burned by the fire I set. Litterally everything went up.

We don't have anywhere to run to, it's late fall and we're in the middle of nowhere, if the goblins force us out we're in the same position they're in- starving.

No poison.

Look man, the way things have turned out I'd say what your aim is is to go to that village and sacrifice yourself, hopefully going fullblown matyr and getting a statue in your honor and name in the temple holy texts.

Remember, it's not about killing all the goblins, you're not a revenge driven psychopath, you're a cleric, time to inspire some fucking faith, go to that village and hold the fucking line.

Failing that, take them on en route in hopes to hinder them guerilla style where you then meet them at the gates.

I figure it might be an idea to stop them yourself and have the fighter ready the village for combat by training them, he could probably prepare them if they've viability in combat, and after you've died and sacrificed yourself to kill as many as possible the fighter can clean up with chance of victory in this fashion.

Failing this, you need to hit the 2e books, and look for everything you can on weather effects, terrain bonuses,attracting allies, or just conveniently getting the warband you hired to possibly ironically set on your path and hopefully take on the gobbos by coincidence, In truth, it might have been a good idea to get come converts outright by appealing to your mercenaries before you left them.

IF this doesn't work, don't forget to cover your weapons in shit, I expect goblins aren't used to their own tactics being used against them.
You could also gather information on the local wildlife and see if there's anything you can sicc on the Gobbos when they reach the town.

Also, you should take goblin heads and wear them Khorne style, from the belt and everything and look like a fucking monster, A Desparate goblin is one easily put in a fear category or worse.

Fortify the position. Do goblins have trebuchets weapons? Supplies for a prolonged siege? No? I thought so.

Oh right, there's also the matter of killing do many goblins and DYING, but Dying Standing up, in the wake of a shitload of dead Gobbos which MIGHT cause the gobbos to scatter and run away.

Failing this, say Pazuzu three times and sell your alignment off for power or the one that shows up and tries to kill everything in sight (will probably end in disaster).

I've already converted a sizable chunk of the town guard, actually, and yeah, me dying in defense of the town is acceptable- if the town survives. Unfortunately, as a level three priest, I still have THAC0 20, and Athena doesn't give me combat magic strong enough to make up for that, yet.

two days mate. Any specific fortifications you can think of that'll help?

it's 2e, if I was gonna do that I'd just talk the level eight fighter leading the town guard into inciting Ares, who will fight battles for his converts.

Can't you spread some sort of plague among goblins?
>No poison
>is worshipping godess of wisdom
Lad..

You, the fighter, the priests and the level eight fighter leading the town guard should EASILY try to incite Athena. Not sure how much it'll do, but it should help with any fortification plans. In addition, you NEED to find a way to counteract setting the palisades on fire. If they don't set fire to the palisades, you have a defensible position and therefore have better odds against the ~150 goblins.

Well, you definitely need to take advantage of a Goblins stats, check to see what their weakest point is, but my guess would be INT and WIS, which might lead to uses in terms of rudimentary cheap traps only idiots would fall for, then there's abusing bluff to make illusions or otherwise fake things seem real to deter them, and because of their height, fortification may have cut costs.

Your worries may be the ones that ride bats and other creatures, and their spellcasters, if any.

To burn your walls, they'll have to come within bowshot. All other things considered, if you have walls, and food, and they have neither walls nor food, then you have an edge. You also have roofs over your heads, while they are camping out in late fall.

If you go scorched earth, you can at least bring supplies with you, while the goblins will be eating nothing. Simply outlasting them on the march is entirely valid.
How long without food, before the wargs start to think goblin looks really delicious?

Also, as far as poisoning goes, that is def. valid. Leave a barn on the outskirts of village unburned, make it look like you didn't have time to cart all the supplies inside the walls.
Starving goblins won't stop to check that.
Even if you don't have poison, simply spoiling foodstuffs with disease or rot or something must be an option.

I've got it! MUD! If it's a village, there's farmland, and if there's farmland, there's livestock, cover it all in Muck to prevent the fire, as in addition place livestock on the battlments to hinder Goblin attacks, because The goblins will want the pigs alive (and they can get distracted by them and chase them if they're hungry enough)

we were in the field and low on funds from paying for a battle.

yeah, traps were a major boon in the last battle, but I need something cheap and easy... maybe get the blacksmith making a bunch of bear traps and the like? That'd fuck up their advance.

mud is brilliant. Thank you, that'll work. Not sure we'll be able to convince farmers to put their livestock at risk, though.

bowshot isn't effective at burning things, I'm more worried about them coming as a horde, torching it, then retreating. Once it's lit in a few places, it'll be hard to put out.

Not sure they even have wargs anymore, they were kept in pens, and, well, if I was a goblin my priority wouldn't be SAVE THE WARGS when all the food was getting destroyed.

I'll look into the food too, that's a good idea.

Lad,you're worshipping Athena,can't you just ask for knowledge of how to brew a poison?

Yeah, but I was in the field and figured taking away their water supply would make them leave.

As of now, yeah, when I'm in town, that's an option I'm considering.

Additionally, if it's muddy or raining, progress and movement speeds are reduced, so you can hide traps, caltrops, and hazards on the trail to the village.

>visions of your village burning in place of the goblins one

you know what to do.

evacuate the village, take only what is necessary. trap all the goblins within the walls and burn it down. You can rebuild your village but the goblins cannot rebuild their ranks if there is no survivors. it will be your partys job to clean up any stragglers. leave no goblin left alive.

>close road
captcha hath spoken

> Bring everything you can eat inside the walls.
>caltrop the fields and roads. MARK on a map which fields you've trapped!

If you have the blacksmiths (hell, the wood-carvers as well) making caltrops, you can cover most of the approaches into town. Goblins will need to sweep them clean or move VERY carefully.

If your DM tries to rule "improvised weapon 1d4" on them, firstly that's bullshit, but secondly remind them that the goblins are stepping (probably barefoot) directly on the spikes. If they're running, the full force of a sprinting goblin/warg will press straight down into the spike.

DM has on atleast one occasion had goblins litterally die to caltrops, so... probably gonna work.

Thanks guys, a lot of this advice is really good!

Goblins?

Also is there a water supply in your town or closeby? Like a river? Shuvel that mud till you got some nice trenches then flood them. Make it before arrow range to keep em outside. Caltrops and traps between trench and wall. Then behind the gate "easiest way in" trap to funnel them. Archers from above. Flanking parties that exit village and roll up the horde from behind.

Also scratch built explosives. Got tar/ high% alchohol? Dwarven schnaps makes a good molly in my experience. Rain down on those fuckers with splash dmg from above when they cant fight forwary and cant retreat.

Any mounts you guys got left?
Also slings or self built spears for everyone. Wood fire + towels and rocks. Just mass pile that shit and let anyone inkluding granny and little tummy hurl that shit from behind a inner second barrier like turned carts.

I think we have wells, but I'm not sure. I'll have to confer with the DM to learn more about what, exactly, is available. There's atleast one river though. Too bad that leprechaun from earlier isn't still around, it'd be great to con him into fucking with the goblin army.

sorry, missed the second part at first. It's a mostly human town, so no dwarves, so mostly mead and beer. Flasks of oil, though... and we don't have any combat horses. However, we should have a surplus of bows available- hunters, town guard, and most of the party. I'm the only guy in the party lacking a ranged weapon. I do hope I can pick up a new rogue before the siege, though...

Additional fire prevention: Soak cloth/furs in water and drape them over your walls and keep bucket brigades going to make sure they stay wet.

Quick barricades: Wicker backed by stakes is very quick to put together and while it's hardly going to stop a determined army it could very well slow down and funnel a bunch of unruly goblins.

Quick traps: Get your villagers digging pits and trenches combine with stakes. Caltrops can easily be made out of anything from bone to wood, to metal, and while hardly deadly can be seriously crippling and hard to spot. Lots and lots of loose rope and string with sharp stuff stuck along the length in place of barbed wire.

Also on the topic of mud if you can dig a trench and fill it with the stuff it will really slow down anyone who tries to slog through it.

Is there any way to contact the hunters in the woods? See if you can get them to harry the goblin flanks while their focused on the town. Your villagers: find anyone who knows how to use any kind of ranged weapon even if it's just a rabbit sling and get them to help on the walls.

the hunters will be coming back, and I doubt they'd be willing to accept a suicide mission like that. I'm mostly hoping a few of them are trappers, and we can get them to set out their lines of traps for the goblins to fall into like the dumbasses they are.

the traps are all great ideas though, I'll keep them in mind.

REMOVE GOBBO remove gobbo
you are worst goblin. you are the goblin idiot you are the goblin smell. return to angmar. to those angmar cretins you may come our contry. you may live in gundabad….ahahahaha ,mordor we will never forgeve you. dunedain rascal FUck but fuck asshole goblin stink mordor sqhipere shqipare..goblin genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead goblin..ahahahahahANGMAR WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget battle of greenfields .isengard we kill the dark lord , return to your precious barad dur….hahahahaha idiot goblin and orc smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE GOBBO FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. erebor+gondor+lothlorien+rohan=kill mordor…you will war of the ring/ gandalf alive in the shire, gandalf making firework of shire . fast bang gandalf shire. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of gandalf… you are ppoor stink goblin… you live in a swamp hahahaha, you live in a pit
gandalf alive numbr one #1 in the shire ….fuck the angmar ,..FUCKk ashol goblin no good i spit in the eye of ur flag and contry. gandalf aliv and real strong wizard kill all the goblin cave dweller with firework magic now we the shire rule .scum of gundabad dark lord morgoth fukc the dark lord sauron and lay egg this egg hatch and mordor wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. shire greattst countrey

>I doubt they'd be willing to accept a suicide mission like that
I wasn't meaning they charge them I was meaning have them act like traditional skirmishers; Hit the main army with some ranged weaponry and then run the fuck away as soon as any kind of force goes after them.
Their purpose isn't to inflict heavy casualties but to help keep the enemy disorganized and divide their strength. Bonus points if they can retreat through a trapped area (obviously knowing the safe route ahead of time).

sure, but we don't know if there's wargs is the problem. It only takes a handful of wargs to make any forces outside the city not just sitting ducks, but suicidal sitting ducks.

Set up stake walls to retreat through, can't cavalry charge through take lines.

The thing is, Wargs are basically giant wolves. like, really, really big wolves. Most goblins aren't capable of riding wargs, most wargs aren't willing to be ridden. But, more importantly, the wargs themselves are likely to simply run the stakes and attack the archers from behind, because they're intelligent in a cunning way, and they have no concern for goblins dying.

>Wargs are basically giant wolves
Hmm how good are these hunters at catching things alive? 1)catch bear(s), 2)Set up caged bears and stake lines, harry goblins and when wargs come towards you retreat behind bear cages, 3) let stake lines guide their path and when Wargs get close open cages and let angry bears and angry wolves see eachother, 4) Fucking run.

>Any specific fortifications you can think of that'll help?
Dig a pit around the town, pile the dirt up on the side facing you to make a wall. Build wooden palisade on top of that if time allows. If Roman legions can do this every night you can get a bunch of faggots to do it in 2 days.

If I had a few weeks, bears would absolutely be a good choice. But uh. Two days. It'd take atleast two days to get out and back, nevermind to actually CAPTURE the bears. I really doubt there's any bears close enough to be viable.

Honestly at this point I'm kind of hoping there are wargs. After all, without any actual food to feed the wargs, I'm willing to bet less than a third of wargs will make it(enough to be threatening still, though), but also a huge chunk of gobos will either die or flee(and then die in the forest)

we have a wooden palisade already, though a trench might improve it.

Take a look at the picture in

> not getting the hint
It's not the gobbos, but the undead that you should fear.
Undead gobbos, even.

Prepare all the holy water you can. If the village has a moat, fill it up and bless that.

There's a possibility of undead coming, and people have brought that up, but I'm not sure where they'd come from...

but, of course, this is a message from Athena. Goddess of Victory and Wisdom. I have no reason to doubt her...

I was thinking it was some kind of, y'know, allegory for the goblins moving into the dungeon for protection(which scared me), but then I realized they were coming for me and kind of forgot about it. Fuck. this is kind of a big deal, isn't it? Undead are never good, and I've encountered some weird fucking undead so far(Huecuva, and a single ghoul that almost fucked the entire party because PARALYSIS IS FUN).

luckily, my warcrimes mean most of the gobs I killed around their village are kind of gone. ...

I wonder how many gobbos died in the massive fire. Like, the entire fucking village burned down, how many do you suppose died in that inferno? fuck man. Might end up being the only reason I survive this fucking battle, desu.

And remember the most important lesson any successful adventurer learns: Always have an exit strategy

my exit strategy involves fire. It usually does.

Question- does anyone thinking getting the women and children out of the town is a good idea? On one hand, the women and children being in town makes it harder to flee if we're forced to. On the other hand, if we do manage to force this into a siege(which we'll easily win), it'll put the women and children at risk, and split our defensive forces. What to do, what to do...

Don't evacuate unless you expect to lose. Splitting your forces is a BAD idea.

If there are undead goblins, then you're probably fucked. You'd have to kill each one twice.

If you can set up good traps then you'll do much better.

Don't forget the lesson of the battle of Pharsalus.
Caesar is backed into a corner, with an inferior force, facing Pompey, outnumbered 2:1.

What does he do? He burns his ships.
Removing the option of fleeing is a huge incentive to win.
Caesar crushed Pompey because every single one of his soldiers knew they were gonna die if they lost that battle, and every one of Pompeys soldiers knew they had their backs clear and they could run if shit got hairy.
And so they did.

The women and the children are gonna keep those men fighting until they have nothing left, and then a bit longer.