The genie wishes to thank you for saving his carefully collected harem girls...

Excellent! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to fuck a harem of women until my loins start hurting

Information gathering via pillow talk when he "allows" visitors to lie with them.
Displaying his power and wealth.
Emergency bodyguards if any of them have at least enough levels to put up a halfway-decent fight.
Helpers for when he's crafting magic items to boost the necessary checks.
Living phylacteries of some kind.
Diplomats or ambassadors to help get other powerful people on his side.

We could go on and on, but there are a shitton of nonsexual reasons to have a bunch of hot women living in one's house.

I wish to be the little girl.

What do you think? A second holocaust of course! This time one that kills ALL the jews.

To become a shapeshifter that is not restricted or limited by anything, suffers no ill consequence or pain due to the use of their power, and can use the power to the full limits of their creativity which can allow for things like making multiple bodies with a hive mind, curing any injury or disease, and potential immortality.

I wish for myself to be happy.

YOUR wish will have no strings attached. Doesn't stop the Genie from twisting someone else's wish to fuck you over.

Well, to fuck him over-
His Lamp
His True name
Turn me into a Genie

Good wishes:
Turn me into an Outsider
Tell me the secrets of [Rare area specific object to acquire that isn't frequent in the setting]
Give me a helm of opposite alignment (used in the event of becoming a creature that forces alignment change)
Give me access to [hard to get into PrC]
Give me a Phylactery (will gain a phylactery completed to the second stage of construction.)
Give me a Deck of Many things
Give me a Lost secret of Netheril or the Suel Empire
Give me a Legacy item
Give me a vial of God's blood Did you know there's a poison you can make from this to kill deities dead?
Give me a Powerful Iconic Ally of the realms Room for crossovers and benefactor who adhere's to the same values of the PC, must be a random iconic NPC I.E Elminster/spoiler]
Give me a benefactor of a higher power a certain random Outsider takes an interest in you, may help you in some way or offer future benefits like the Deck of many things Emnity of an outsider, but good
Give me the Ovatorium of [X type of Devil] The stupidest thing Asmodeus ever did ever, A devils fucking reproductive organs that operate in their Promotion/Demotion system are literally fetuses that Turn into the devil when infused with infernal energy, graft that shit in and have a warlock black you, and congrats, you're an outsider, and have the capacity to make an entire outsider race this way.
Grant me Sexual affinity with [type or subtype] (Bonus to seduce against them or otherwise, initiate means to seduction by a roll)
Grant me sanctity of my body and spirit in death (Automatic Spawn Screen on Death)
Make a Pact of Return with me, maintaining it and renewing it every month (will be resurrected if one dies under DM agreed pre-stated conditions with no level loss)
No matter what, I will always leave behind something in the event of my death (useful for resurrection)

I wish for the one on the far right

I wish that the genie wasn't such a tricky lil' nig nog lookin' mother fucker who keeps tampering with my god damned wishes like a huge fucking faggot.

I wish for the genie's eternal friendship.

I wish for more wish granting genies, of course

I wish to be a Ultramarine with a sex drive

Give me an item to Summon Controllable Vampiric mist (See D&D 3.5 adventure, the Banewarrens)
Grant me an item that will allow me to create Orb Wraiths (City of the Spider Queen)
Give me an item to cause Black Rain (The ultimate fuck you to all forms of divine spellcaster)
Tell me a secret from the Demiplane of Dread (lots of neat stuff to gain from this, Sthrad spells, Elemental Lich Template etc...)
Let me speak with the dead with ease (Get a Dead man's Bottle)
Should I change, make it so that people will think no less or me than before. (a single Type change, permanent size category change or shift of the law/chaos axis will not change NPC reaction, provided they are not Specifically Outsiders opposed to alignment by rules that dictate their nature. I.E Become a Lich, and everyone acts like normal.)
Give me a Javelin, bane of the Black heart (Gae Bolg, Vampire hunting edition in 30ft of a vampire)
Give me a memory Globe (literally an item that let's you unsee things.)
Give me a flaw of peasantry (grants a flaw from Dragon #330. Some of these are useful.)
Grant me the ability to automatically know if I'm in a Tesseract.
Give me a Aberrant mount (Flumph, Beholder or lesser Aboleth Mount)
Grant me a the ability to cast a spell of Old (Cast a single memorized spell as if or closer to it's use in an older edition of D&D, said spell's edition use will vary, and the edition is rolled for at random)
Give me a Spiriter Decantus (Machine that when liquids are poured through, turns them Ethereal, may result in confusion daze and hallucinations for mortals drinking them, but grants the undead the ability to taste wines and such, and is a valued item of good favour and a great gift for a Lich.)
Tell me of hidden planes. (Plane of blood, possibly others)

that's a good one

>They look like they're alright with the arrangement.
No that's just Japan
Apparently the "aroused" look is a mix of fear and sadness

I wish to be the little girl (male).

Wonder if I could wish to become a genie.

If not, I could always wish for ice powers capable of causing a new ice age if I really wanted to.

See, if I had more than one wish, my first wish would just be to know what my own personal greatest wish is and how to word it so as to avoid losing more than I gain from it.

But I only have one wish this time, so I can't do that!

This is difficult.

A perfect harem of husbandos

I wish to become the Genie's cock.

I wish for a platter that upon command makes pizza.
I get to decide the toppings each time and if it's a deep dish or not.

This is my ultimate wish.

> I wish for an entertaining yet low difficulty for my Level Quest that will eventually lead me to discover a Genie Lamp whose Genie will grant me THREE wishes!

I mean, if they didn't want to be there, I wouldn't have returned them in the first place.

Unlimited wealth, I guess. Such that whenever I want to buy something, I spontaneously have enough money for it.

You don't need a genie for that. What's stopping you?

I wish for my own harem, with black jack, and hookers.

I wish I was his most beautiful and favored haremgirl, of course.

A harem is redundant with hookers.

I wish for an identical set of harem girls for myself.

Or else I wish for a lower body for him, it seems like it sucks for him the way he is now. I bet he'd be a bro if I did him a favor.

>all brunettes
how will blondes ever recover?

>this guy thinks a harem is redundant with hookers

Since he doesn't have a master, I'm assuming he's all-powerful. I'm sure if he wanted a lower body he'd have one.

I'm not saying they're the same thing. But if you have a harem, which is a group of women who you keep around for the explicit purpose of satisfying your sexual appetite, why would you need to go elsewhere and pay extra money to have sex with someone outside the harem?

The only way I could imagine that being a factor is if
A) you just absolutely need to orgasm inside a woman every day,
B) your harem's periods sync up, and
C) you're a selfish bastard who refuses to have period sex.

I'll go easy on you since you obviously don't know, but black jack and hookers can be added to anything and make it even better, even black jack and hookers.

Clearly I don't know. How do hookers improve on a harem?

I get that it's a Futurama joke, but it just doesn't seem applicable.

Because before, you just had a harem. Now you have a harem AND hookers

About 40cm and 50kilos

AND black jack

God damn, how tall are you?

I get what the blackjack adds. Some non-sexual entertainment, plus you could have your harem earning some extra money when you're not using them in a way that doesn't sully their pretty little bodies.

But instead of hookers, why not just expand your harem?

Omnipotence.

Close to 200cm, i'm the smallest in the family, my sister is quite a few centimeters bigger and often makes fun of me.

I also have an incredible hairgrowth and will give my hopes up to ever achieve qt trap aesthetics.

I'm sorry, user. If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure you can find a qt trap to rail, at least.

How tall is your sister?

You can make money with the hookers, duh. Plus they can be used to teach the harem new tricks.
>inb4 pimp out your personal harem

The question of "why bother with hookers if you have a QT harem" is stupid. Why only have one of something when you can have a harem of it? Why only have a harem when you can have a harem and lots of random pussy.

You wut nigga
Did you even look at the picture

you're no longer allowed to screw with other peoples wishes

I don't really know I think around 205cm. Slightly taller than me. She has a lot of troubles to find a partner since most men are quite amazed by her height.

sounds like a string to me

I really hope people will remember this next time someone pulls the ol' "women are irrational" card.

Which they will. It's Veeky Forums.

But whatever. If you want two separate outgoing revenue streams for sex, that's your business.

I can imagine.

What is it about being a trap which appeals to you?

Genie powers without being trapped in a lamp

Instead of wishing for more wishes, I wish for the power to grant my own wishes.

Probably because of my fucked up youth. I'm definitely mentally not healthy although I don't really show it to a lot of people. I'm the big, friendly bro from next door that helps with the gardening and is the stereotypical apathic man that always works on his car.

I'm sick of the hardships of life and would love to just once go easymode (womanmode). This also is the reason for my fucked up sexuality.

If it makes you feel better, womanmode is not easymode. That's just something folks on /r9k/ repeat because they don't actually know much about women but want an easy scapegoat.

I want his carefully collected harem girls to be my carefully collected harem girls.

No, user. A man must collect his own harem, for it is the journey which makes him strong.

What the fuck, are you me?

That is literally 100% me. Except the easymode part, I'm bisexual so I just want to pounded by a dominant man but being 6'6" and 240 lbs isn't helping..

But OP specifies that we DID just collect that harem.

Well, okay. I guess it wouldn't be TOTALLY inappropriate for you to take his harem.

But that was collecting someone else's harem. Your harem must be custom-made by you, for you. Like how jedi have to make their own lightsabers.

I wish for myself to trade lives with him

How can this backfire?

Epic quest mod unlocked.

ty for reminding me about Magi

Immediately, you appear in his place, offering him one wish as a reward for bringing back his harem. He wishes to trade lives with you.

Then, since your wish has already been granted, you are sent on your merry way.

That's just it. You've fallen for his trick. You're in his magical realm now. If you want that wish you have to rub his lamp. [[The lamp is the genie's dick]]

Who's to say the genie's harem girls aren't his previous masters;which he's fucked over more than once?

I wish to become one of the genie's beautiful harem girls (male).

Someone already beat you to it, and they included a gif. What are YOU bringing to the table, huh?

I wish everyone had their own harem.

Yes, even the members of the harems.

I wish that OP was banned from the internet for all of eternity.

I wish for the powers of a GENIE with NO STRINGS ATTACHED

Immortality.

I will never not wish for immortality.

And since there's no strings attached, you know it's the good kind of immortality, where you don't age, don't require oxygen, cannot contract diseases, and would-be-fatal wounds can be remedied with ease.

>B-but what about watching all your friends and family die and going insane and wishing for mortality again?
All propaganda made by mortals to encourage others to be happy with mortality. Besides, I would gladly take all of those downsides if it meant I could live even twice the natural age of an average human.

I wish for you to give me a Magic Item that gives to me or does exactly what I intend whenever I ask it to, with no limitations or unintended consequences.

Might as well just wish for a personal wish-granting genie that grants unlimited wishes with no strings attached.

I don't want the Blue Jew cramping my style

I want the one who is the best at cooking and cleaning and does it happily.

Why, Mr. user, I believe I can make that happen for you.

I add the genie to my harem.

i ask for omnipotence
what happens

Why do I get the feeling that this Twilight Zone motherfucker has several strings attached to his promise?

The string is that the guy he's dealing with is a fucking idiot

You wound me, Mr. user! I promise you I have nothing but the most honest intentions. You will stay alive indefinitely, you will not age a day, and you will be impervious to illness and injury.

I wish for practical immortality. No aging, no starvation, no lack of sleep, no sickness.
I want a failsafe of some kind in case i change my mind some millenia down the line.

>made me google it
Turns out was right, Bedeker was a fucking retard.

I'll take it - ON ONE CONDITION: That I may still get intoxicated by consuming alcohol and drugs.

That's right, I don't even want the escape clause. It's pretty easy not to go to prison, and even if you did get a life sentence, they'd obviously reconsider once they realize you haven't aged a day in 50 years.

just wanna hang out cause trouble, because just hanging around with an immortal Genie and fucking with people is a lot more fun than anything else in my life right now.

See

>But, it turned out, the one thing user wanted, out of any possible reality, out of any possible imagining in this world or the next... was a friend.

I wish for all the world to be happy please!!!

I'm certain we can work something out.

Of course, I'm afraid I must be quite insistent on the escape clause. I'm merely concerned with your well-being, Mr. user. I'd hate to take away your options.

>I wish for a rad new guitar!
>"Here you go, a rad new guitar, no strings attached "
fuck you genie

Also, please tell me you didn't just look up the plot of a Twilight Zone episode. That is the worst way to experience it.

Well shit, sure, throw in the clause.

I'm quite certain I'll never use it, but hey, thanks for looking out for me, Sat-Er, Mr. Cadwallader. I'll be sure to stir up some mischief and dissent for you while I'm kicking around.

Trust me user, by the time I end up actually managing to buy a collection to marathon with someone special (or even just by myself), I'll have long forgotten this little point. Besides, it's not like people haven't had Twilight Zone episodes spoiled for them in the past. See any "THERE'S A MONSTER ON THE WING", and "Now I have all the time in the world to read my books..." homages in popular media.

Become a harem girl.

>they'd obviously reconsider once they realize you haven't aged a day in 50 years

Prison staff changes regularly enough that no-one would know you long enough to realize your agelessness. The number marked for your age/"time incarcerated" is dismissed as a typo. They know you're a lifer, so they never let you out.

Theres also being buried alive by a building collapse, or being found out and being held in a science lab forever as the scientists constantly test your regenerative abilities and attempt to wrest the secret of immortality from your body.

And don't forget the changing social norms. You don't have sex with your own clones? What are you, some kind of weirdo?

Immortality for me and everyone I care about. Death is the only thing I fear.