>New game >GM starts narration >So we start in the ah-aaah hum... over the-the-uh, uh... in the hills of the great valley, there's a small village and the, the, the, ahhhhh... the local constible is looking f-for, uh, he'a looking for... adventurers who can clear out the uh, clear, a-ahmmmmm... he wants you to deal with the kolbolds who are attacking caravans, and you find his notice near the uh, near the - uh, well you're traveling down the road, and you see p-pi-p-pinned up against a tree and you uhhhhhhh...
How do you people fucking put up with this? Every goddamn game, there's at least player if not the GM themselves who literally can't complete a sentence without uh uh uh-ing the table to death.
Luke Turner
It's a hobby that appeals to the socially awkward. but requires a degree of theatrical skill and improvisation.
Welcome to Traditional Gaming.
Best you can do is improve with practice, or look into performance workshops/books/videos.
Zachary Gomez
I once played a game where the DM could not get more than four or five words into a sentence without "eehhhhh"-ing, "eerrr"-ing, or some combination of both and it was the most infuriating fucking garbage I've ever put up with. Never played with him again.
James Parker
I played with 2 DMs who where almost at ease in normal social situations, but who described the game so blandly that I couldn't get into it even during supposedly epic moments
Current DM is a small dude who dress awkwardly and looks like a trap by Veeky Forums standards, but he narrates like he fucking did this forever, roleplay like his life depends on it, and can go from deep dragon voice to scared little girl in a heartbeat.
It's pure chance, whether or not you tolerate it depends on how much you want to play and how hard it is to find a group where you live
Juan Walker
*pass DM screen* Yeah, you do it. I'll just be rolling my char.
Charles Williams
Try playing text only online.
Jayden Sanchez
I would love to have Jeff Goldblum as my GM. What the hell is wrong with you ?
>Life, huuuum, finds a way
Hudson Miller
This.
It's really hard to be a GM. Most of all it's unapreciated. Playing a char isn't even an effort.
When you GM, you have to keep yourself immersed in a world, keep in mind the plot line, and a bunch of other stuff. If you're the kind of guy that can't talk while doing 4 other things, which most of us aren't, there's gonna be a lot of "uuuhm"s.
Jose Young
fuck, I meant the other way around, of course, in that last sentence
Leo Jenkins
Jennifer, please finish sucking him off so he can concentrate on the game again.
Austin Wood
This, gotta blow on the "dice" for luck
Charles Baker
Tip to GMs: Slow down a bit. Don't worry too much.
Jayden King
Just GM text games. What's so important about voice anyways
Jayden Bailey
You arrive in a town. What do you do.
>What is in the town? I look around.
There are buildings
>Just buildings? Any people? Any businesses....any problems?
You see a monster
>Oh fuck you.
Nicholas Thomas
Rule of three man. Your first scene needs: Three descriptive details that evoke the setting of the world, three hooks that fit with tone of the setting and three NPCs that can help set the mood. You get those down, even if its on a napkin 5 minutes before the game starts. Example; Sci-fi post-apoc with a after-the-war theme
>Alright, you start in a run down junkyard space docks - Detail that evokes setting, you know its a used future type situation >That was once a major shipyard used by the Coalition forces to repair their fleets - Detail telling you there was a side called the Coalition that needed big ass space dry docks and had the power to build them >As your ship comes into land there's a slight delay, seems the main clamp is jammed - Detail, shows that everything is run down to shit, also tells you that you own a ship, also a plot hook since you could be hired to find parts to repair the clamp >You see a small figure in a mechanized space suit moving over the outside of the space port, they head over to the door and the mech hauls the clamp open, allowing you to dock, whoever is piloting sees the mech has a young woman in overalls in it, she's chewing on something and has a smear of oil on her nose - NPC gives the feeling of things being more mundane and grimy rather than Star Trek >Ship parks up, but the gates don't open, you get a message over Comms, ship security requesting permission to board, the guy on the other end has a synthetic voice module, you can't quite tell if they're male or female - plot hook, why they want to search your shit and NPC in the head of Sec >Finally, the search team will be there in 5 when suddenly a bespectacled woman in business wear requests permission to board, once aboard she instantly offers to buy any and all spare energy crystals you have on board, the Sec'll claim them the second they board, without payment, she says - Plot hook and NPC
It ain't fucking hard people.
Benjamin Wilson
Nicholas Cage is your DM? Awesome
Blake Mitchell
I usually start the night like that, and slowly get more immersed in my own world until it flows effortlessly from me.
Then one of my players will inevitably interrupt me when I'm on a roll to ask me about some stupid bullshit that's irrelevant to what's going on right then, and I completely lose all of my concentration and have to begin the cycle anew. It's extremely frustrating.
Asher Jackson
>How do you people fucking put up with this?
Lets see you GM the game then!
Levi Robinson
That's why I use text.
Jeremiah Lewis
Ever tried, and failed, to read a book but couldn't, then listened to an audiobook and were able to actually enjoy it?
Julian Jenkins
I remember that hobbies are things people do for fun, and that maybe I shouldn't expect my GM to be a professional public speaker.
Tyler Ward
Not by choice.
Brody Long
No, as audiobooks take far too long when instead I can just read the book and make more progress in less time.
Ryder Morgan
No.
Luke Rodriguez
Yeah, once. When I was like 12 and had eye infection.
Leo Johnson
This is useful advice, although at first glance 3 NPCs seems like a lot it seems simpler if you just combine them with the plot hooks.
Oliver Garcia
Not everyone is an eloquent speaker. Don't like it - do something about it instead of bitching on an anonymous imageboard where no one cares about your moaning.
How do you people fucking put up with this? Every goddamn game, there's at least one bear trying to invade human civilization in the most retarded way possible.
Wyatt Smith
I understand your frustration OP. However, it seems quite petty IMO. You have to juggle so much shit as a DM. Not everyone is a well spoken thespian.
Jaxon Allen
It totally can be, but sometimes you want to separate them out, so I thought it best not to fold them into a single thing. For example, a plot hook with no one NPC attached to it? Town has been burned down, no one knows why. NPC with no plot hook attached to 'em? Beggary the Beggar who lives in Beggarville and who'll give you the good shit on info if you give him a few copper coins.
Liam Thomas
For some people, game night is about socializing with a group of friends, in addition to being a fair elf trap maiden who wishes to see the world.
Angel James
>t. illiterate
Elijah Cruz
the only thing this is excusable with is the Silmarillion, and I'm going to hazard a guess that isn't what you're thinking of.
Ayden Hughes
In contrast with what a few people are saying to you, I don't believe that what you're saying is a wrong thing necessarily. People prefer to consume literature in different ways, and in my opinion there's nothing wrong with audiobooks in themselves. I personally prefer GMing with voice, specifically in person. I haven't played an online game. To me, part of the point is doing it in person.
That being said, no.
Caleb Morales
>fail to read a book how the fuck does someone manage to do that.
Dominic Baker
Lots of people all the time, I assume. People are really bad at reading.
Henry Morales
I've got a speech impediment, but I'm more than creative enough to tell a proper story. Besides, acting has really helped me keep my voice in check.
Joseph Gray
>Character responds to NPC saying some shit >GM is typing... >Typing... >Typing for two minutes... >Typing for five minutes... >"Short, 2 sentence response."
This is more annoying than any stuttering or uhs/uhms. How come it takes so long to type so little?
Adrian Walker
S-SHUT UP VOICEKEK TEXT GAMES ARE A SUPERIOR FORM OF ROLEPLAYING
Luis Adams
I know for a fact that I would be guilty of this if I ran a text game
Evan Foster
Usually it's vice versa to me.
Nolan Walker
I don't understand how GMs who vie for a text based game are sometimes horribly slow typists.
If you use the computer so much, shouldn't you be faster? Even if you want to get the best response out, you can still think quickly, right?
Wyatt Thompson
Self correction.
They write, they proof-read, they decide it's not what they want to say.
Text gives you control over your sentence structure more than your own voice can permit due to deliberation, but with this comes... deliberation.
Nathaniel Nguyen
This is the real reason I play text-based online games.
[spolier] Because I am basically the GM from OP [/spoiler]
Justin Watson
Apparently I can't type for the life of me, either.
Xavier Myers
No.
Was this a rhetorical question? Were you asking this as a way of saying "if you suck at voice games, then you'll also suck at text games?"
Julian Diaz
Lack of time (I work 80 hrs a week, 12 of which are driving), difficulty getting "hooked" by the writing (like the Silmarillion example), that sort of thing.
The point is that sometimes a story is more enjoyable or accessible when it is presented to you in a different way.
Connor Ward
Why not give him tips or just be more patient with the dm. The DM may just be practising delivering better narrative. Not everyone starts as a lvl 20 DM.
Wyatt Ramirez
Good advice user. Anyone else got any more tips to share. I remember a thread a while ago that was very good at explaining narratives and fitting the tone.
Joseph Davis
If you're a GM and you think you're going to fuck up your important descriptions, write them down. Doesn't work for on the fly descriptions unless you ask your players for a few minutes to type something up.
David Richardson
I listen to Audiobooks as I work, shits fucking CASH.
Can't wait for work sometimes actually.
It's nice. I also read, but podcasts and audiobooks are just too handy for when I'm excercising/working/on the go (Can't read in cars/planes, instant nausea.)
Elijah Martinez
Only descriptions I have are on the fly ones.
Also, I think that I'd rather endure some umms and humms, rather than listen dry "I'm reading this from paper" -narration.
Nathaniel Wood
Ah yes, if you're reading from paper, it's always dry.
Sometimes I wonder whether I'm talking to 12 year olds on this board.
Henry Ramirez
True I suppose. But someone good at writing can hide the fact they are reading from a script.
James Miller
I like to listen to podcasts, but audio books I can't deal with. If, when listening podcast, I loose concentration for a while, I don't miss much. Some banter, some jokes, random opinion from random podcast host.
With book, similar lapse of concentration is much more significant. Even with actual reading I can realize that I've been reading without actually paying attention, but there it's easy to flip back a page and see where I was before I lost my thought.
Kevin Rivera
I'll admit that much, Audiobooks are nice for re-reading(listening) too I've noticed. Unless you're looking for something specific ofc.
Luis Turner
Kekked
Brandon Smith
>Ever tried with ya so far >and failed yea lots >to read a book but could not. Grammer gods please come back to me.
Grayson Barnes
>Grammer
Nathan Davis
It's likely intentional misspelling to ridicule that user
Julian Ramirez
I'm fine with stuttering but this is a case of zero planning. There was one GM I trusted to run a good game with no prepared notes, every other time has been mess.
Chase Richardson
Losing interest. It's not hard.
If I'm halfway through a book and I realize I'm not even enjoying it, I don't force myself to finish it. I've got shit to do.