Alright Veeky Forums, it's high time I finally reveal the unbelievable story of Rob Bulldozer...

Alright Veeky Forums, it's high time I finally reveal the unbelievable story of Rob Bulldozer, the most bad ass hero of all time

>Be me
>Trying to get my best friend I to wfrp 2nd Ed
>He has never played a single game of RP before.
>Have him roll up a character, and he promptly gives it the name of Rob Bulldozer for some goddamn reason
>Our first game, he is a shit bag soldier due to no knowlege of how the game works, but tries anyway
>PCs get transported to the chaos wastes, looking for ancient artifact
>They see these strange fleshy bubbles floating in the sky
>A different shit back pops them obsessively, causing demons to materialize
>His very first combat, Rob 1 shots 3 demons in a row
>Shit bag dosent stop popping the goddamn bubbles
>Rob gets mutation, flaming skull
>Back in town , he rolls a 1 to make a soaking wet head turban to get through town to the shallya temple
>Priestess rolls a 1 to cure him
>Goddamn, ones are like candy to this motherfucker

Sorry for the typos, on phone

>Next game
>We are in a small town on the other side of the world's edge mountains
>It's going to be attacked by a massive hoard of orcs in two days
>Rob and crew are tasked with saving the town
>He sets up a defensive barrier all throughout town with gunmen on the roof of all of the building
>Goes out to the woods to try to slow the advance
> On the way, he conscripts three soldiers to help
>Apparently inspired by Rob, one of the nameless dudes he conscripts turns out to be an orc killing machine
>Never dies, gets ulrics every fucking hit, and ends up killing 8 orcs and the warboss by himself.
>Earlier, we have him a random name, bill Miller, and after this epic battle he is known as bill miller the orc killer
>Rob's fame is cemented

>Next game, Rob is contracted by an npc knight and his PC sqire to explore an unenhabited abandoned castle
>His dick personality immediately pisses off the knight, and he becomes constantly hostile to him
>Turns out knight is actually a huge dick and tries to leave him for dead
>He is pinned at one point for retaliating, and the knight cuts off Rob's left pinkey
>After some more time, the knight is killed by a trap, and Rob rolls 3 fucking 1's to convince the squire to follow him
>As an oath of friendship, squire who's named Wolfgang cuts off his left pinkey
>Oh god their gaining momentum

>Two or three games later, Rob and Wolfgang are passing through a town
>A barber surgeon named Ludwig calls them into his shop
>He tells them that his business is ruined because the local tradesman guild has tried to pin him as a secret necromancer
>He convinced Rob to help, and through a series of unlikely rolls and successes they manage to find the guild leader at the bottom of the town mausoleum 'mancing it up
>This fucking guy, Rob one shots the fucker with his gun, instantly killing all of the skeletons this guy summoned and proving the surgeon innocent.
>The surgeon swears himself loyal to rob for the rest of his life, and cuts off his left pinkey
>Goddamnit now they got a party

>More games pass
>This is the luckiest motherfucker to ever touch wfrp2ed
>They are playing the karak azgul book
>After some misadventures, they finally get into the abandoned hold
>On a bridge over a chasm, Wolfgang barely survives a fight after praying to mannan, his god for like the 10th time this game
>He verbally abandons Manning, and I roll for a 1% chance that the god retaliates
>100
>Fuck me, mannan sends a bolt of boiling pressurized water from the ceiling to kill Wolfgang
>Rob asks if there is some way he can act as devine intervention, as already people say he is the return of signature
>Use a fate point and roll a one, and you got it
>He
>Rolls
>A
>Goddamn
>One
>He steps in the way and raises his arms, and a golden barrier materializes to protect all
>Fuck me now I gotta devise a divinity system
>We lay down a rule, 10 miracles and he acends to godhood, ending the character
>He can perform a miracle with a fate point or a one initial roll, then a roll based on how many successful miracles he has already performed ex. 3 miracles = 30% roll

Signature, fuck me, sigmar

>In the same game, they continue downward, slaughtering everything in their way
>They come upon a group of 5 cave orcs with the big orc riding a cave dragon
>They quickly kill all of the orcs, and Ludwig successfully strikes to stun the dragon for 5 rounds
>Rob's crazy ass jumps on its back and tries to tame it with animal care and animal training
>"OK, roll against its willpower with your fellowship"
>Guess what he gets Veeky Forums?
>One
>I say that he needs two successful roller to win, and he proceeds to smash this dragons head against the ground and fees it orcs three times in a row.
>He gets double ones
>Great, he owns a cave dragon now

Well hopefully one of you fuckers will read all of this

>Same fucking game
>Through even more shenanigans they make it to the very bottom
>There is a giant fucking chaos beast down there with ungodly stats
>They are finally getting their asses handed to them
>Ludwig decides to try to climb this thing
>He manages to get to its head with amazing AGL rolls
>Rolls to strike to stun
>Has to beat this things 80 Willpower
>It rolls 100
>They immediately kill the fuck out of it when it's down, uncovering a massive deposit of gromril
>Rob roars out to the sky, is there anything that can challenge me?
> I'm so beyond fuck this that I send a goddamn bloodthrister of khorne at them
>After twenty fucking rounds of gruelling combat, they actually fucking banish this thing
>Fuck me Rob is invincible

Want more Veeky Forums?

yes

no

I don't care.

maybe

I don't know?

I'm not actively despising it

please

It's a long read, especially how you keep typing it out in bullet point and adding your opinion in between.

Sorry, typing this from scratch from memory. I'll do it up a bit better in repost if I ever repost it

nah

I'm dubious of the truth of your story, with all these ones.

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I love you too, Opie

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Alright, next installment, less opinion

>Later
>From the last game, Rob and crew have acquired gromril plate and fancy weapons
>Decked out from head to toe
>The PCs get together and decide that they want to take over the empire, now that Rob is a national hero
>Rob goes to a bank in Altdorf, and uses his renown to take out a 3000 gold loan
>He uses the gold to buy some land and hire a few mercinaries
>He tells the mercinaries that they are to roam around, doing odd jobs and helping as many people as possible, all the while advertising joining his army, which he named the three sons
>Meanwhile, he decides that he wants a hochland long rifle
>Gets to hochland, and is told by the master gunsmith, that if he wants one, he has to go to the top of the mountains and stop the constant rumbling
>During the course of this, best friend is getting absolutely wasted
>When they get to the top, friend is drunk as fuck, and after the big reveal that the source of the rumbling is a huge dragon ogre, he states that he wants to shoot it strait off.
>He shoots
>1 Ulric?
>2 Ulric?
>3?!?
>7 mother fucking ulrics on the first shot
>Walks away with a hochland long rifle and another goddamn impossible feat under his belt

I'll post the character sheets tonight

These are not me

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i am monitoring these thread op. keep up the work.

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I remember WHFRP as a meatgrinder system that was a bit of a slog to play.

Clearly, Rob Bulldozer disagrees.

Couldn't you at least try to make the story at least a little bit believable?

Same

Nah man it's all real

Rob front

Rob back

Wolfgang front

Shit my bad that's the dragon, named Bob ruledozer canabalized sheet

Wolfgang

Wolfgang back

Holy shit they're real

Ludwig front

Ludwig back

Put me in the screencap

This is called a 'greentext', newfriend. Welcome to Veeky Forums.

Op here, I'll update with more installments in the morning

I think Rob was using loaded dice user

Either that, or he made a three way deal with Tzeentch, Satan, and Gygax for supernatural luck

Nah man, I owned the dice he played with. It has to be the second thing

Then you better call a priest or something, because something ungodly is definitely happening, and it's best to stop this before people's heads start rotating off their shoulders and body's start shooting to the ceiling

>barber surgeon

Hmmmm

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Barber surgeons were actually a thing in real life. Being a barber or a surgeon required a skilled and steady hand with a knife, so they would usually dabble in both if they were talented. Frighteningly enough.

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No.

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Is he dabbing?

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Really? Learn something new everyday.