Welcome to The Eye of Terror. How heretical are you?

HOW HERETICAL AM I?
I blew my nose into my hands, then wiped them off on the dog, then made a sandwich. PRAISE NURGLE!

I jerk off to pictures of anime girls eating each other

Nurgle's garden is other way kiddo.

I was on terra to protest the god emperor's ascension

what's a 'heretical?'

Were they yours or someone elses?

>drunk as fuck
>start pretending I'm a dark apostle of Slaanesh
>meet young sober virgin girl at party
>tell her about the pleasures of lust an sex and slaanesh
>1 year later
> meet same girl again
>she drinks and is all into bdsm, kinky stuff, golden showers et.c. She also loves anal.
>she finds lots of guys on tinder
>she has sex with filthy older men in dirty bar bathroomd
>she puts on blindfolds, leaves the front door unlocked and invites men to do whatever they want with her
> she couldn't stop talking about the threesome she was about to have later that night
>I still haven't fucked her
>Slaanesh is Disapoint.

I think the Emperor is alright I suppose but not a god.

I don't thin my pants.

Did you roll a natural 20 on a charisma check user?

I mix skittles, reeces pieces, and m&ms

I only have 16 cha, so, maybe?

I once held married girls hand.

W-was it your wife?

I accidentally wore a pair of socks I jerked off into.
I didn't care and wore them all day.
I still don't care.

You mean you've actually touched a living person?
Was it consensual?

Sometimes I like to play Houses&People with my goblin friends in the dungeon, and we pretend that we're humans on an adventure.

What the actual heresy? Fuck you

The Emperor was basically just your standard dictator except that he had the luck to be born with psychic powers and immortality. At heart, he wasn't really any different. He made all the standard mistakes that dictators make, and claimed that the one thing that separated him from all the other dictators in human history was that he knew he was right, which is what every other dictator has said. And in the end, he failed to help the people he ruled, just like every other dictator.

Fuck you too, buddy.

The Emperor Protects

I showed my ankles in public when I visited sweden

I once shot a man in reno
Just to watch him die.

The Emperor was an egotistical manchild who simply got lucky on the superpower lottery. The Last Church shows what the Emperor is like without the benefit of psychic powers to force people into compliance. He's someone who never learned to think because he never really had to think, the powers that he had since birth just let him take whatever he wanted.

How heretical am I?
I prayed to Emperor this morning. Without true devotion. I need to do something with my life. I hope Ecclesiarchy will not be too harsh to me.

Neither does Abaddon.

>I hope Ecclesiarchy will not be too harsh to me.
Aren't they the ones who say that hope is the first step on the road to disappointment?

You should totally just murder them and pledge yourself to the dark gods. It's what the cool kids are doing.

How heretical am I? HOW HERETICAL AM I?

I had a bowl of Butcher's Nails for breakfast.

Chaos Undivided is more than a pantheon a philosophy, it is the Eightfold Path, it is the Truth behind the curtain and the sin of knowledge, the revelation and the secret, it is many things but not a religion as we understand it. Chaos is freedom, ambition, power and glory, it is damnation but also reward, it is the moment when you break your chains, when you dispose of your humanity and when you embrace something so unfathomable that dives you insane but also ecstatic with the knowledge that your destiny is in your OWN hands.

When an enlightened one exults For Chaos! across the din of the battlefield he evokes this truth, he utters in words what his eye have seen and what his soul has felt when he opened his mind to the truth for the first time. When marching under the banner of Primordial Truth the warrior of Chaos does not favor a Exalted Power in particular way, neither he favors them all, but he is the herald of the Truth, the Truth of which destiny lies beyond the skein, the Truth that follows death, the Truth that power and ambition are rewarded, the Truth where you as an individual can become a literal god, an immortal, a being of such utter power only if you will it, only if you dare it.
Chaos Undivided is not a religion; it is a philosophy, a philosophy of the self interest, of tangible power and the shattering dread of the ultimate Truth. This philosophy teaches a human that if he is ambitious enough he would be rewarded, it teaches him that if he kills with the name of the True Gods on his lips he would catch their eye and receive their boon, it teaches him that one day he can become a demigod, a mortal no more, and all this if he only wills it and dares it.

It is also the philosophy of the metaphysical, where reality and dogma shatter, a philosophy that teaches its followers that the laws of physic do not exist, that any laws are artificial, that dogma and ad a closed mind lead your soul to be shattered by the dreaded dream predators. Chaos Undivided is a philosophy that teaches you that you have a soul, teaches you that with your dreams you shape the universe and it teaches you that nothing is impossible, everything can be done if only one dreams it.

That is why a disciple of the Primordial Truth bears proudly the Star of Chaos even if he pledged his allegiance to only a variant of this philosophy, perhaps to Nurgle's teachings, it is because once you pass over the skein of reality and you see the vast landscapes of infinite possibilities nothing can ever be the same and everything becomes possible, all that is required is a simple dream.

One time only recited verses 1-14 of the rite of mending when I patched my state issued coveralls with duratape instead of the normal 1-36.
The last dozen or so verses aren't even tangentially related so I thought it was ok.

I'm playing in a D&D game as a pony.

I don't know. My Confessor said that Dark Gods don't care about people as much as Emperor does. Though, people at my temple may be a bit old-fashioned.
What diocese are you linked to? What does your priest says?

What kind of pony?

The magic and friendship kind.

I have never used a drink coaster.

Why do you need to limit yourself to magical ones when you can play barbarian pony?

One player is already a barbarian pony. And I've never played a sorcerer before.

So, it's a whole party of ponies? I'm pretty curious, what is a campaign like?

I don't citite any litanys while cleaning my lasgun. Knowledge is power.

It's like most campaigns probably. Pretty high magic because 1/3 of the standard population has magic from birth. A lot of the races can fly.

Our last party was Griffin Bard, Griffin Rogue, Diamond Dog Fighter, and Mudhorse Cleric. We started off as bodyguards for a caravan, then got ourselves caught up with some bandits being run led by a wizard and her necromancy obsessed child prodigy. We eventually made friends with everyone involved and the Wizard became a useful ally and potential love interest (which turned into inter party drama). We stopped an illithid starting up a cult he was using to scout the world out for his people. Killed the shit out of him real good. At some point the bard found a book written by some ancient evil lich, he decided he wanted it back so he came looking for it. He was too powerful for us, so we've been running around gathering info for the longest 48 hours ever (he's holding Canterlot ransom with a nuke spell). We get all the shit together, plan to go suicide fight and hope we can pull something out of our asses. My character (the rogue) may have ended things peacefully though. We'll have to see how it pans out when we start back up.

Sounds pretty nice, tough.
Are members of party humanoid-like or beast-like in appearance? Is there any setup to such choice of races?

So heretical that I worship an actual chaos god.

Griffins are Griffins, Diamond Dogs are like....bipedal dogs basically, ours was a big bulldog with a great sword. And since the mudhorse was a mudhorse, she had to hold her weapons in her mouth. But she was a cleric, so it was fine. Not really any setup, there's a book with races in it we've been using. Has a lot of other stuff in it too, but we mostly just use the races and spells.

Pic related was mine, though more stylized. Claws work like hands. I was essentially a cross between Solid Snake, Carl Winslow, and Hawkeye.

You MONSTER!!!

You got any warp dust?

...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

This is too much. Even for me.

/thread

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