Has your character been caught with their pants literally down?

...

Heresy!
But yes, I have. I was playing a clanless kindred in a game of VtM with a custom teleportation discipline. After wading through a river of shit to get to a Nosferatu liar, I stumbled upon some kind of a monster. Flesh golem Resident Evil Nemesis looking motherfucker. A few failed rolls later he's holding me across the torso with one hand. Que the teleport. Myself and everything withing a meter-wide bubble is teleported back to my motel room, a puddle of filth and a giant arm included. In a motel.
So I strip down, take a quick shower, go to my car and grab a canister of gasoline.
There I am, looking at a motel bonfire. Naked. And that's when other players rolled by, one of them sheriff's assistant.

Comic nudity =/= magical realm

Many years ago, I was attacked in a bath house, because we had decided we would do a campaign with *all* the gritty details of life.

So I beat my attacker and drowned him in the bath. Sadly, I had forgotten that people void their bowels when they die.

We didn't play any more "all the details" campaigns after that.

I had the opposite happen.

>murderhobos surprised the chieftain at home with his wives. at night.
>that guy immediately yells out "called shot to the dick!"
>he rolls.
> I hit!
>great you killed a wife.
>I missed?
>No you hit his dick....

I then launched into the standard "birds and bees" spiel and everyone laughed. which sort of broke the awkwardness a bit. but damn...

Only an utter fool would disturb a great warrior and her wife(male) during the consumation of their marriage.

Well... They weren't married, but her father WAS quite aggressive.

Rule #76 of playing: minimize the amount of time you do things that would render you "helpless" on-screen, lest the DM decides to throw an orc warlord at you at the least opportune moment.

I'm doing a weird-ass zombie quest, and so we were captured by cultists. So a female prisoner seduced me, and things got very kinky after that. After they had found me, oh god the look on their faces. One other person was influenced by a biological gas and got involved in a homosexual 6 man orgy.

Another was that the DM vividly described the scene, oh god... fuck.

I also screwed a bounty hunter in one of the settlements (female).

What's the difference between a male settlement and a female settlement?

bump. Ooops. I meant to say the bounty hunter was female.

In my first ever D&D game our party was tasked to eliminate a group of succubi. The paladin went ahead of us and sauntered over to them with his pants down and "holy sword" at the ready, announcing loudly and proudly that "[he] has a special package to deliver." The succubi raped, ripped, and tore him to pieces, but the rest of the party was able to set up an ambush with his distraction.

top. fucking. kek. I hope that what ever eldrich abombination raped him was hot.

Earlier when we were being given the job, the same player interrupts the DM, who was giving exposition through the tavern keeper, to bed the nearest tavern wench. He succeeds, but when the party went to check up on his room after getting the job, all we could find was a mess of torn clothing, blood, gore, and faint traces of sexual body fluids. No player, no tavern wench. The tavern keeper confirms that it was a succubus. But of course, the player is one possessed by unrelenting passion and limitless libido, evidenced by his paladin.

Well I once had sex with my ex gf on her couch when her dragon of a mother bursted in

so my DM has a set of secondary lists of random events that "occur during down time". downtime being defined as not being mission critical actions the PC's take.
my wife and I jokingly had our characters fuck after starting a tavern brawl to get some people arrested so rooms would open up for the night in a small city. we rolled on the random tables and ended up having an ethereal marauder pop in during the climax.
I went down, she went down (thank god the dm allowed us to just hit -9 so the cleric could stabilize us), the ethereal marauder disappeared only to stalk us for the next three weeks IG.

>Has your character been caught with their pants literally down?

Only IRL. Mortar attack while I was in our FOB's miserable excuse for a shitter.

She has a gun. Therefore, she isn't naked.

>Be Sapient Gorilla
>Foes think I'm at my weakest taking a dump.
>Absolutelybananas.jpg

What's wrong with kitsune, user?

>wait, which CoC are we playing.png

I was seduced by a cultist as I mentioned previously, and I could go into detail.

Shit-tier waifu for people who couldn't decide between a catgirl or a doggirl. Any other Monstergirl is better. Any.

>Be me
>Be in what remains of arizona
>We absolutely skullfucked a gang
>Got involved in a weird orgy
>Now just chiling.
>Then, cultists attack us
>They kidnap us for their weird ass-god
>We wake up
>WHAT THE FUCK my teammate yells
>We are subjected to that same Clockwork Orange torture, combined with some portal level shit.
>We all accept to stop it.
>But we lied
>I was sent in with a prisoner, well, with more of a sex slave.
>She started talkign in a seductive tone, and then we undressed
>We started fucking
>After that, I was laying down that whore so hard.
>Then, my friends, armed with sten guns arrive
>I just say "oh..."
>Everybody blankly stares at me
> I just say fuck it, and put on my clothes and take my waifu with me.
>We escape.

>shit-tier
Now hold the fuck up
>can't decide between a catgirl or doggirl
Yeah if you're retarded, kitsunes have characteristics of the other two, but they're still their own separate thing
>any other Monstergirl is better. Any.
Now that's where you're wrong, especially when you have mermaids.

>wait, which CoC are we playing.png
For those who think they know their souls: stab deep in their hearts and listen to the echoes... youtube.com/watch?v=j2Iswwpvsdo

>So I beat my attacker and drowned him in the bath. Sadly, I had forgotten that people void their bowels when they die.
What, your DM just assumed this happened spontaneously upon death? And what kind of person tries an assassination with full bowels?

That's really a silly phenomena to hamfist in there. For one, it's not that common. It is common amongst people that were essentially "ready to go" prior to death and people that are unconscious (and alive) for a long period (several hours, typically) and urinates prior to death, for example a homeless man who drank lethal amounts of alcohol. If he expires before urinating, he probably won't (and the autopsy will find several hundred cubic centimeters of urine in his bladder). Corpses are also far more likely to pass gas than feces, and even then, not while lying there - it happens when the sphincter is loose and examiners are moving the corpse around, allowing the gas to travel out (typically silently, but it can be heard, hence the stories).

As for straight up "voiding their bowels," that doesn't happen. As the part of the brain controlling involuntary muscles dies (again, this takes time, but expect within an hour after expiring), the sphincter will release whatever was "waiting at the door," but there is no supplementary muscle contraction to squeeze things out like we do shitting. Incontinence happens occasionally, don't get me wrong, but most of the time it doesn't, and full evacuations of feces is typically something done while still alive (and typically unconscious).

And for the sake of knowledge, due to simple biology, women are more likely to urinate after death than men, at the same time the sphincter relaxes. Although, depending on the angle she died at, this effect may happen when they begin to move her if the sphincter has already relaxed.

Source, paramedics and morticians.

Did he replace your last character?

a group of assassins attacked our group while we were in a bathhouse, everyone was unprepared except my rogue who wears a wig with a dagger hidden under it.

She nearly single handedly saved the party (atleast only one doing decent damage, cleric could heal) and the whole party learned her natural hair color wasn't black

Alright, I'll give you mermaids, but Kitsune are just bland. They lack any distinct traits other than being a fox and possibly magic. Dogs are playful, energetic and friendly. Cats are sly, crafty, and have that "nyaa-dorable" aspect to them.

>wearing a wig in the bath

jesus her real hair must been fucking nasty

you wouldnt be wrong, but she was obbessed with keeping everything about her a secret. From using a fake name for every new person she met (and constantly remembering which name she used for who) to for the first few sessions convincing the people she grouped up with she was actually a sorcerer, using alchemy and sleight of hand checks to "cast spells" I even convinced my group of friends with only the dm knowing and playing along for a couple of sessions, with the party not knowing for another few sessions after that.

My last session actually

>Dragonborn Paladin
>Party arrives at a new city and pick and Inn to rest for the night.
>Everyone has a couple drinks
>Goto sleep early
>Rest of party flirt with the buxom barmaid and she gives them a free drink
>It knocks 2 of them the fuck out while the dwarf monk takes them to their rooms
>Monk stays awake all night to wait for an assassin
>4 assassins sneak into each room and attack
>Monk surprises his and runs to save the other 2
>My Paladin is still asleep and the assassin successfully attacks him in his sleep
>Surprise the assassin by waking up
>He's now fighting a big angry naked dragon (he sleeps naked)
>Grab sword and shield from next to bed to defend myself
>Still get rocked by assassin down to 5 hp
>Misty step through 2nd floor window to safety below
>Monk friend comes running in and punches the assassin through the window
>Assassin crashes through the glass and hits the ground hard, right next to the dragonborn
>Essentially get a free kill on assassin
>Still naked on the main street in the middle of the night, Paladin tries to re enter the inn, locked
>Kick door, fail strength check, barmaid answers and tells me to go away, bars door
>Pick up assassin corpse and throw him at a window
>Window has closed wooden shutters behind it
>Naked Dragonborn Paladin is in the middle of the street picking up and throwing a dead assassin against a window over and over again until it breaks
>Get inside, barmaid charms Paladin and takes him back to bed

I was playing on one of my quests. I swear to god I slit open one of my enemies throats with a cock-knive, and ripped his anus along with whipping him. Does this count.

Actually, I do have one.

>playing RotRL
>in Sandpoint
>playing a spear wielding fighter back then IIRC
>walk past the village bycicle redhead, friends nudge me into doing dumb shit
>walk up to her and say "Hey, my spear needs a bit of polishing, know of anyone handy?"
>queue a bit later, doing the deed, he father starts wondering why she is in the basement
>elaborate fucking lie attempting to say that she's hired an exterminator for the rats
>me trying to pass of as an exterminator as I railed his daughter
>he's not buying it, start walking down
>catches me LITERALLY mid act, naked
>he looks furious, I stutter for a bit and then fucking dip, I run like the wind completely naked
Keep in mind that this was a fighter with 4d6 subtract the lowest and ended up with three 18's so I could've literally exploded him but I was too caught up in the actual situation
>I barrel down the fucking street, trying to tip vegetable stands over to slow him down
>party wizard sees me running with the dude after me
>CASTS HASTE ON ME FOR SOME REASON
>run like a fucking mad cunt into the local church screaming "SANCTUARY" and telling them to not let anyone know that I was here, while barring the door with a cabinet
>he bursts in at mach 5 with the anger of a wronged god
>I sneak out the back door while he's searching for me and priests being distraught about their cabinet

I later had to fess up and do right by her and whatnot.
that character later ended up eating 140+ damage from a goddamn giant, ending his life

Ultimately it meant little because of the genre conventions, but one of the monsters in the Magical Burst game I played with my old friends attacked in the middle of the obligatory hot spring anime episode, while my character was zonked out. The first rounds of the battle had the rest of the party hoist the brown tomboy's sleeping, naked body for the first few rounds until I passed an Intuition check to wake up.

Played a dwarven bard that preferred sleeping in the buff in his tent (didn't want to stink up his armor with night sweats). Goblins try to ambush our party in the middle of the night and everyone goes on the defensive. My dwarf walks out pissed as hell that his beauty sleep was interrupted still naked and shooting a crossbow cursing the goblins out while reloading.

No, but I once DMed a game where the players intentionally ambushed a powerful barbarian leader while he was having sex because his armor would be off.

I mean.. that's just clever thinking though.
I'll probably use that in upcoming games, would give a nice advantage.

Also, rolled 73. Fucking why.

Rolled 27 (1d99)

Let's see what I got here.

Shit, I got Chandra. "Burning Love" is the understatement of the century.

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>Has your character been caught with their pants literally down?

BOY DID HE

Important context: this story takes place when I'm in sixth grade (age 12, for you foreigners), playing with a few other sixth-graders. You all remember the shit you thought was funny in sixth grade?

Right.

So anyway.

>be on watch
>engaged in constant dick-measuring contests with other friend who's playing
>before we set up camp, his character - a magic user - stole one of my character's - a fighter - kills with a magic missile
>still salty over being one-upped
>ask the DM if everyone else is asleep
>yes user, you're the only one up
>okay, I drop my pants and pee in the magic user's mouth
>cue fifteen minutes of "I was just pretending to be asleep!" "I should wake up when he walks up near me because I hear his footsteps!" My character always wakes up halfway through watch to make sure everything's okay, I just never mentioned it until right now!" etc.
>DM (also 12) shuts it all down, but clearly feels bad about where this is going
>I'm feeling smug as shit, peeing in your friend's mouth is the best revenge
>no homo
>DM roles some dice behind the screen
>suddenly, the camp is attacked by a vampire bat!
>it gets a surprise round, and attacks user!
>a hit! There's now a bat on your dick, sucking your blood!
>start screaming in-character, try to hit it with my dagger
>whole camp wakes up to find me stabbing my own dick
>never got to pee in my friend's mouth :(

Let's see now

>Saturday, Donny, is shabbas:the Jewish day of rest. That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit DON'T FUCKING ROLL!

Rolled 8 (1d100)

I will.

Rolled 55 (1d100)

How can you tell what you've rolled before you post?

Rolled 86 (1d100)

You know what. Fuck it. Roll time.

>SuddenlyFulgrim.jpg

Rolling

Wait... what do I get for 000 trips?

My brother tried to pull some shit on me where I got water out of a river to bathe and there was a giant bug hiding in my tub "because they get a +20 to stealth in water". As if its remotely possible to scoop up a 6 foot long dragonfly nymph with a washtub and not notice.

Doggirl = Foxgirl > Catgirl
Because they have Fluffy tails

also, rolling
Praying for you sleepy balrog-chan!

The first game of Shadowrun I ever played involved my face and the party physical adept infiltrating a drug den and cutting cocaine in our underwear while I took video of the inside of the house with my cybereyes. The adept flipped shit after one of the actual workers was shocked for collapsing on the job and the whole thing turned into a half naked brawl that ended with one of the supervising gangers being thrown face-first into a kilo of coke cut with rat poison. Good introduction to the game

Awaken only works on animals senpai.

Rolled 26 (1d100)

Once had an orc challenge the swordsage (unarmed) to nude hand-to-hand combat. Turns out it was a trap. The swordsage, not the fight. Player got the DM to rule that the orc was shocked enough to give him a surprise round.

Not to mention that mimics are already intelligent and often capable of speech

My barbarian girl had a fun one once.
>Second level characters.
>Infiltrating castle spire with a halfling rogue and a gnome wizard.
>Hallway patrolled by these two massive guards in full plate, massively tough bastards.
>We successfully avoid them for some time, before on our way out take a wrong turn because we weren't paying attention, end up in a storage room.
>Dead end, stone room, no windows, nothing but a big cask for wine storage.
>Guards approaching down hallway. We're trapped,
>Crack open a cask and see it's half empty, little guys climb inside. My girl is a six foot tall snake woman.
>Rogue player whispers in my ear.
>When the guards enter the room, I declare to the DM that my character is completely naked, smiling and leaning on the closed cask.
>"Hi boys! Your commander sent me to make your long shift more interesting."
>Draw them into the corners, them removing armour.
>Gnome and Halfling escape cask, and...fucking escape without me. Gnome shrugs as he catches my eye over a guards shoulder,

nothing you roll dice

Rolled 22 (1d100)

Ah shit, okay

I had a Dark Elf Swashbuckler in 3.5. My pride, that character was.

Big part of her character was always being impeccably dressed and well put together. riding boots, gloves, leggings and sharp shirts, silver buckles on her belts and coat and such. Proper Elizabethan hunting clothing sort of deal.

In a final showdown with a big villain, one of the stories main antagonists, she get's challenged to a duel. He knows he's better than her, and so makes a deal that every time he gets a hit, he strikes off a piece of her clothing. If there's no more clothing to remove, he'll cut off her head with the next strike.

So we fight, and he's way out of her level, whooping her ass, and is slicing off buckles ad straps and shit each hit, until she's in nothing but her (expensive Menzoberranzzan silk) bra and panties. Sure enough, slices off the bra with the next hit and the panties with the next in turn.

So she's fighting stark naked, and her last chance to get a hit in, does so, critical hit, roll the highest damage I can. (With a rapier that's not fucking much) DM determines it a particularly brutal hit across the eyes, as he tries to recover, she scarpers, completely naked, out of there to rejoin the party and escape.

The last thing he saw with his natural vision was her completely naked. He came back to menace her as a personal villain quite a bit.

So wait, you get fucked both figuratively and literally? Or did you somehow escaped with your ass untapped?

The DM was actually remarkably respectful, and passed me a note with a like 'How do you want to do this?' sort of suggestion.

She convinces one guy to watch while she goes on top with the first guy. She's a tall, toned looking girl, it suits her. As soon as he lies down, she boots him full in the throat with the heel of her foot and enters barbarian rage, with an athletics check bowls over the other guard while he's still fighting with his long johns.

She does lose all her armour, clothes, and her favorite weapon in escaping, but she gets out of there with her green ass untapped. (For now, anyway)

Every time

Among her other adventures skirting good taste, she had her privates exposed in public by city watch guards, fought a green dragon completely nude in her proudest moment, kicked a kobold to death for spying on her bathing, and did finally unfortunately get tapped by a Half-Orc mercenary during a raid.

Welp, seems like there's a lot of cheesecake to go around during those sessions. That's all fine and dandy but --

>and did finally unfortunately get tapped by a Half-Orc mercenary during a raid

Thank you, user.

Fucking chronomancers...

This was a campaign that lasted like a year and a half of weekly games,so all in all, for being the only female character in a group of 5, she came off pretty well as far as it goes.

17 get

I once got caught while quietly leaving the bed of a troll that my decker had drunken sex with in Shadowrun - and got surprised by her brother, who was not very happy with him and was pressing a gun to his face.

Luckily, my decker had just splurged on getting an augmented arm that allows him to hide an SMG inside and flick it out with the right gesture. Barely any clothes, plenty of gun.

Aside from finally getting her scaly ass tapped, did she end up surviving that long trek?

>finally unfortunately get tapped by a Half-Orc mercenary during a raid
Do tell, i'm curious to know what was unfortunate about it.

She did indeed! She survived the campaign as one of only two original characters who'd been there from the start. (The other being a surly Half-Orc who longed to be a paladin)
She was lvl 17 at the time we ended, and was actually pretty unstoppable.

>Monk and wife is also a monk

My character continued to battle it out with the DMPC my DM threw at them while they were having a good time in bed.
It got really degrading for the DM having to narate my PC beating the shit out his DMPC self insert and ending up finishing on him.
That made him quit with his self-insert characters in the campaign else he'd be reminded of the whole table cracking gay jokes at him.

How???

>She did indeed! She survived the campaign as one of only two original characters who'd been there from the start.

This shit right here. It's like not fapping for a couple of months then finally caving in, edging yourself for about three hours before eventually blowing that mind-numbing load. Feels so good afterwards.

Although in my case, I missed playing as the guy. Felt that I could at least do a micro-adventure to cut ties.

What setting was this; what was her race called?

Those are some neat drawings, you have any more?

Character death is also pretty great, because their story is done, you know? The alternative is usually just, what, the campaign ended? Time to move onto a new game/setting?

Next character I played was a monk, and she spent a LOT of her time nude, but she was a monk, so not quite as cheesecake as an teenager snake girl in kooky situations

she's a Monk, so nothing really changes

She was a homebrew race, essentially Yuan-Ti very far removed from the source. Just a touch of bodily changes, green skin, fangs. None of their usual spells or magic abilities though.

Not my own art, online friend drawing my character.

In a game of D&D 5e, the party was ambushed while my dwarven barbarian was pissing on the decour of an Eladrin palace. My character spent the entire scene fighting off Eladrin with his cock hanging out his kilt.

Eh character death sucks for me precisely because the story is done. If the campaign ends, or even if it's just discontinued, i can always think of new stories to write, new things for them to do, new places to explore. It's usually just self-masturbatory fantasy, but it's more satisfying than the character being dead and that being that.

Characters of mine before or since my snake girl have met their demises by:

Elven sorceress: Torn to shreds by wild dogs. Harsh.

Human wizard: GIANT FUCKING ROCK.

Human rogue: This one was a doozy. Fighting fire giant, seems to be going against us. Party decides to use wand of wonder. Doubles fire giant's sized. (Thusly doubling damage and HD). Hit my rogue and the DM declared she'd been literally bisected from her brains to her bush.

Drow fighter: Disintegrated by beholder.

It's pretty good either way. There's something about it, not sure exactly what, which makes it one of the better takes on the busty barbarian babe archetype.

I'm curious, how did she wind up fucking that Half-Orc mercenary you mentioned?

I yeah, I was thinking she wasn't a yuan-it, I was pretty sure they're usually a bit "snakier."

I didn't see the picture when I first read the story, so what I'd imagined was closer to what I'd usually consider a yuan-ti looks like