Prrrrrt? stat me

prrrrrt? stat me

Can't count to 3/10

nrrrrt, I rate your stat bad

Can cast fly, hold person, and telekinesis at will

Probably has a mind flayer extraction type ability.

I'd give them an Intellect and Wisdom of at least 18 based on them apparently being the Combine leaders.

Strength 20 probably. Dex 14 or 15 as they were fairly agile. Their Charisma is probably in the toilet though, unless it is what powers their abilities. I'd make them Large outsiders / aberrations.

That's assuming 3.5 for some dumb-ass reason. Although for some reason I feel like if Half Life had a system, it'd be d20 modern

Nah I'll just write up a bunch of fluff hyping them up and make them do something that would be the start of an adventure and never get around to actually statting them or running the game

That's fucking harsh, dude.

At this point, I'd settle for "We're never doing it. We might do a reboot but no promises. Here's the design bible and this is what we were planning to do next, or maybe this, with the plot in theory going like this or this."
I just want some fucking answers. Some closure.

>is this real life
>is this just fantasy

By now I've plain old given up on this.

So I make my own ending up until they make one.

It ends with a GLADoS style terminator robot and Freeman getting stranded in the Combine interdimensional capital city and doing an impersonation of SCIENCE!!!! Doomguy. Eventually the Combine decide that Earth isn't worth the ass kicking and shut down all door ways to Earth.

GLADoS and Freeman are trapped on the other side. With a Companion Cube. By that point there is no hope for them and its just a matter of time before the end.

G-Man makes a few appearances guiding them to targets but is never explained.

There's a "leak" from an "employee" that runs a 50% of some delusional fanboy blowing it out his ass or rival dev wanting five seconds of anonymous internet fame, the 'we might do a reboot' is the closest thing they've gotten to HL3 - apparently, they've tried several times to get projects up and running on it, but

>tfw you will never see Adrian Shepard again OR Race X
>tfw you liked Race X's designs over Xen troops, besides the alien grunts, panthereye, Mr. Friendly, Kingping, other cut enemies, etc

I really wish we had gotten Adrian Shepard's return. Perhaps he's the G-Man's contingency plan should Freeman go rogue, and you had to play as him hunting down Freeman.

I just want to fucking know what Aperture Science has put on the goddamn Borealis.

I wouldn't be surprised if they just wanted to build up hype, but couldn't come up with something that would reach up to it.

What I'm not gonna miss is that godawful Alex-Freeman ship, with every character practically telling right into Gordon's face: "Hey, you two are gonna fuck , right? You totally should fuck."
Even nignog dad is all "Hey, pssst, fuck my daughter will ya? Wink wink."

>tfw the lead writer just retired from writing

FUCK YOU VALVE, I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON WITH THE STORY

I read a bunch of catalogued forum posts by the former lead writer of the series where he answered questions given to him by gamers to clear up plot holes or murky bits in the lore such as the motivation of the Xen aliens for opening up a resonance cascade at black mesa which was that they were pretty much refugees fleeing from the Combine. Sadly that dude just retired so who knows what the FUCK is going to happen to the story

I've seen it happen a million times
>lead writer for a new IP
>gets canned/quits
>new writer subtly fucks everything up about the lore

Every. Fucking. Time.

Valve's official position on Shepherd is that he may or may not be canon but assume he isn't

*blocks ur path*

Size/Type: Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 5d10+25 (52 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+14
Attack: Claw +9 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack: 2 claws +9 melee (1d6+5) and bite +4 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved grab
Special Qualities: Scent
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 21, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +8, Spot +8
Feats: Alertness, Track
Environment: Temperate forests
Organization: Solitary, pair, or pack (3-8)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 6-8 HD (Large); 9-15 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

>pick up that can

>>lead writer for a new IP
>>gets canned/quits
>>new writer subtly fucks everything up about the lore
Fucking Borderlands man, I'm not even talking about retards on /v/ being triggered about it having gay people in it, I still hate Anthony Burch for doing shit like declaring New U stations not canon.

>tfw the first time I played through, I threw a suitcase at him and ran around him, getting neither achievement.

>I still hate Anthony Burch for doing shit like declaring New U stations not canon.

Wait, what? How could the respawn points in the first two games not be canon?

They straight up don't exist in canon and none of the main characters from Borderlands 1 ever died story wise and never had to use them.
They completely have a place in canon, there is lore on who build and maintained them and they aren't just cold spawn points for gameplay purposes either they have phrases and stuff they say when you respawn to make it more seem like it is something that people of Pandora use.
But Burch became lead writer for Borderlands 2 and decided for them to be non canon.

Probably has something to do with him systematically murdering all the previous protagonists of the past games to get some cheap emotions out of the players and realizing that they could just respawn so instead of scrapping the idea or at least making it make more sense story wise by saying "Handsome Jack blocked them from using the New U stations after they became rebels" that hack just changed the canon to fit his shitty writing.

I'm glad he left the company, I don't have much faith left in Gear Box and Borderlands 3 but at this point the only way is up.

What I want to know is why was everyone on Pandora queer? Was it a secret LBTGQBBQPDQQEDWTF colony or something?

That's a really fucking bizarre decision

Because Anthony Burch wrote it.

As much of a meme writer Burch is, it wasn't his fault - everything about the first game got thrown out, including its story and art style. It got so bad, one of the writers just straight-up ragequit.

You've also got Randy fucking Newman, the "steal money from Sega and pump out a shitty game using an underused IP, then openly dodge it in court" shitbag.

turning into /lgbt/ but aside from axton, the safari guy, and the scientists handsome jack threatens, everyone else is pretty straight

also fuck you for making me remember that awful game's characters

Wait, Axton is gay? The Borderlands 2 soldier character?
I've been playing as him and I thought if anything he was a closet robophiliac and wanted to fuck his sentry.

Apparently he was originally hetero sexual and one of his random voice lines when interacting with female characters was him flirting with them but there was a bug where he also said the same line to male characters.
They decided to roll with it and referenced it in one of the later DLCs (when asked what he spends money on he answers "Guns and Ladies. And sometimes dudes") making it official.

>also fuck you for making me remember that awful game's characters

Muah ha ha!

I always just took the "If you're on pandora, you're already ACTUALLY some level of completely fucking insane. Sexuality is for people who don't live on a death planet and probably try and stick their dick in a sleeping scag just because." train of justification of logic.

>You'll probably be killed a virgin by the fucking planet if you're picky, so just fuck anything and everything.

Canonically bisexual

That's a lot better than I was expecting. Not shoehorned in, "we need D I V E R S I T Y" but just rolling with a bug in the conversation code.
Yeah I'm totally on board with that after some thought.

Also, was there ever a justification for bandits being batshit insane while we're dissecting what little lore the series has? And all the midgets?
Did they overuse New U stations and become degraded or something?

Borderlands is one of the more extreme cases with "D I V E R S I T Y" where even Anthony Burch himself said that it would be fair to call it overkill with all the random gay people but its still overall not that bad like memes about "SJWs killing the gaming industry" lead you to believe, all that shit is way overblown anyway.

Didn't the people get insane because of that alien mineral that Hyperion was mining? I thought that even those that aren't working in the mines still are close enough to start getting insane simply by being on Pandora.
Though the idea of Bandits being insane hedonists because no matter what they can't die is pretty nice too.

I don't know how long Pandora has been colonized but midgets could be a result of the limited population inbreeding, there have been people there long enough that there are native adults like Salvador.

Nice.

The bandits were all a little crazy to begin with because they were penal workers being abused and working in horrible conditions. They were then exposed to iridium, which they were mining for Dahl, which made things worse and resulted in all the mutants. Then Dahl had some business problems, I don't remember the exact lore, but were forced to abandon Pandora but just left everyone there with incredibly minimal support.

New-U Stations are probably one of the biggest lore oversights and I tend to just ignore them.

I think it's only a two or three generations max.