General Veeky Forums Humor Thread

Hold a second, it'll take me hours to make, but I hope I make you proud.

>injecting politics for no reason
leave

Shit, I forgot there's Merkel there too. What company/RPG should it be? Eclipse Phase? Degenesis? Savage Worlds? L5R?

Savage Worlds for Merkel because Merkel is a shit leader and Savage Worlds is a shit game.

They could not possibly have chosen a worse system to reboot Rifts than Savage Worlds. I mean, it's hard to pick a system worse than Savage Worlds in the first place. In terms of generic systems there are FAR better options: GURPS, Cortex, and FATE, to name a few.

Savage Worlds takes a decent core mechanic and lumps on a shitty wild die that is arbitrarily assigned because "muh plot" and fills the character with bennies that require the player to know all of their uses to use effectively. Not to mention, Benny effectiveness is heavily dependent on session length, so if you don't play the recommended 4 to 6 hours the game becomes wildly unbalanced.

The game is full of garbage trap options like in 3.5, the chargen is basically minmaxing Flaws like in GURPS except worse, shotguns are brokenly powerful giving a flat +2 to hit which in this system is basically only missing on a 1. They also do broken-ass damage because of exploding dice. The exploding dice also turn combat into a slogfest occasionally punctuated by someone actually dying; usually from a fucking ridiculous amount of damage.

I played Savage Worlds for a good three years now. Never will play it again, it is an arsed system that is half narrative bullshit, half autistic wargame, and entirely terrible.

Okey Dokey. It's going to be shit, but maybe someone will get laugh.

Am I autistic for not getting this as a joke? Is that not what that traditionally means? You use cold stones like that so you do not water down your drink.

Here we go. I'll probably get a day ban because the mods don't like this propaganda poster, but I'm happy. Remember, this is kinda shit, but I hope you guys and gals like it.

Interesting take.

I chuckled.

Thank you.

HEHE, I like that joke. And thank you as well.

>Roll to seduce.

That was a proud day. Did we ever get that to the creator of Oglaf?

>hehe I know this will inevitably derail the thread and has nothing to do with the board but if you guys want we can really stick it to those /pol/ guys rite?
Seriously, you're wasting your time. Go shill on /pol/ so they can cyber-bully you there

... that rhythm is pretty off...

And a nice user asked if things could changed, and bam I changed the picture to a Veeky Forums friendly picture. Also, cyber-bulling is pathetic. If you're going to bully someone, then you do it to their faces like a man or you can not be a bully, unlike you mister user

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Yeah, I rattled it off pretty quickly when I made the thread. I could do better. I still think there's some good rhymes. I'm particularly proud of "spare a tic." I think it's very Gilbert and Sullivan.

Yeah, OPs pic confused the hell out of me. Although personally I've only seen people use steel cubes that have been in the freezer for a long time.

Traditionally, in America at least, when someone asks for a kind of alcohol "on the rocks" they mean they want it with ice cubes. As in frozen water. Stone and steel cubes used for cooling drinks are a novelty in America that has only recently been adopted by a minority of drinkers.

>watering down your drinks
>pic related

And americans have the audacity to shit on britbongs for drinking warm beer.

We usually drink it before the ice has a chance to melt, britbong.

A finger of water cuts the taste of alcohol, allowing the nuances of flavor to get through. If you don't, you lose all the subtle notes.

Probably because it's cheaper for a bar to just buy an ice machine than deal with a bunch of fancy pebbles that have to be cleaned and then re-chilled. Besides, a lot of people like to drink their whiskey with splash of water in it anyway.

Canadian here. First off, sorry, but you're both stupid. Warm beer is beer that nobody has ever cared for, it has no love in it. It was left in somebody's car. It came in cans. American beer is pretty much the same, except that instead of being warm, it's just sad urine.

You keep the bottle or drink cold, then you drink. Nobody nurses something long enough for it to cool off, and if they do, they shouldn't have been drinking something like that in the first place.

>warm beer

I don't even care for most cold beer, why the fuck would you drink it warm?

same reason people drink medicine-fire-water to begin with. not to feel happy about it.

Everyone used to water down their drinks, because normally they'd be drinking with every meal.

Some drinks taste better at room temp, like Jameson or fireball. But beer is not one of those. Might as well drink piss with a bit of orange zest

>Besides, a lot of people like to drink their whiskey with splash of water in it anyway.
this, the whole "ice waters down ur drink so use rocks" may may actually ignores why the ice is there in the first place

it's LITERALLY there to water it down slightly. whisky is kept chilled anyway by most places in the west but it's meant to be served at room temperature if you wanna be a traditionalist

it depends on the type of beer. stout especially is just more palatable warm. you'd never serve a typical lager or ale warm even in bongistan though, but they might not be ICE XXX COLD like americans like to drink

but that is a facet of another thing, drinking is done socially outside the US, in the US a lot of people drink beer just to be refreshed. this is why american beers are sweeter, lighter, and have less alcohol -- theyre meant to be drunk like youd drink lemonade on a hot day. so an ICE COLD ONE is appreciated in the US in a much different way than it would be in other countries, where you'd want your beer chilled, but not COLD, since you're drinking to have fun or for the flavor of the booze or w/e, not to escape the heat or have as a refreshment.

>Fireball tastes best at room temperature
Fireball tastes best at whatever the temperature out it is when you're flyfishing.

>unironically drinking jamie and fireball
are you college aged sorority girls?

N-no, it's just what gramps always drank when we were fishing...

is your grandpa 20-and-a-half and a busty blonde chick who is mad DTF?

>bitching about what other people drink

Do you inject Everclear straight into your eyes like a REAL man? If not shut the fuck up.

some red wines are better room temperature for different interpretations of room temperature.

but fireball tastes best when you arnt drinking it.

only when I'm finna get TURNT otherwise I spend the extra 50 cents on something that isn't quite as complete shit as jamie

jamie is overpriced as fuck for its quality, and its not even consistent from bottle to bottle

Have any of you actually tried the beer that's meant to be served warm? Stouts, porters, bitter, mild etc. are nothing like standard lager.

Just cause they're all called beer doesn't mean they all are best served the exact same way. Just like how white wines are served chilled while red is served around room temperature.

explain labatt.

fucking this. if someone served me an imperial stout or quadrupel at 5 degrees celsius the way you do shitty lagers I'd be pissed as all hell
generally the rule is:
>shitty beer (corporate lagers, 90% of the market)
serve it ice fucking cold since you don't want to taste it
>most decent beer (good lagers, normal stouts, most ales etc)
take it out of the fridge 15 minutes before serving. you'll get much more flavour
>strong premium beer (anything "imperial" or "double", anything above 7 abv)
cellar temperature, aka only lightly chilled

So you know nothing about beer and only have experience with generic lagers?

People talking about things they know nothing about? In MY Veeky Forums?

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Ha yes, the alliterative armada.
IIRC I made the mandhandling monitor.

That's not how physics work.

A good cocktail will have large cubes that won't melt fast enough to matter, and they do a better job of keeping the drink cool than those novelty stones.

The sound of ice clinking in a nice cocktail glass is also pretty comforting.

It changes the flavor profile of the drink. Gives the flavor room the breath.

a martini tastes really different if you don't strain it over ice and just chill the gin and vermouth before mixing them together. Totally different drink.

A lot of cocktails are only served on the rocks, or are otherwise strained, though some are exclusively served neat.

With some spirits, they're broad enough in scope that personal tastes allow for some people preferring on the rocks, some people preferring neat. Granted, this is mostly just with whiskey. You wouldn't serve, say, tequila on the rocks generally.

Idiot.

>Drinking fireball
Well obviously you have no tastebuds.

>t. Someone who's never had a Manhattan

That or they don't have a pansy tongue that can't handle a little cinnamon

Isnt fireball pretty much rye moonshine with cinammon, it isnt aged, so that disqualifies it as a whiskey

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I wouldn't call that moonshine