Fighters Guild: Troll War Edition

Well your talking to one.
Then again I still need to restock on supplies.
Some fucking goblin stole them...it's probably on fire.

Why did we just find out about it then?

I mean, I know that.

How big are they? Maybe this can be a good learning experience for Iris?

I'm thinking explosive barrels.
Tie them on the trolls foot and watch the fireworks.

We knew, its just unwise to get involved in troll politics.
That it untill they put normal people in danger
Thats going to require some bravery. But I like it

>Videke gives off a hearty laugh
You should have, my fellow!
>Videke gives him a pat on the back

The guild itself should be able to provide some.
This is a job for all of us, not individuals.

This is going to be a skirmish, Sir Bones.
I am not sure if children should be caught in it.

Ah, of course!
>He laughs.
I suppose I was being rather hopeful.
I know some things of trolls, but I am far from an expert.

Tie them to their feet?
>Brulie stares at Ser Veltan, aghast.
Isn't that dangerous? For both parties?

That is true. Shame, I think Iris would enjoy it.

Right, better to stay out of politics, we're not mages.

Well I'm a brave lad.
Then again I'm probably gonna get absolutely destroyed by a troll but hey.
I tried.

They are fairly large creatures, standing usually around ten to fifteen feet tall.

Then set her up far away with a telescope.

If we face them from ontop a hill, we can roll the barrels down and shoot the barrels with inflamed arrows when they reach the deviled bastards.

Well obviously.
I've done worse though so do not worry my freind.
Well I'll just...Get some supplies and all that.
>Ser Veltan slinks out a window

It has been far too long since I've fought a troll. To forget their most basic weakness is shameful.
We can't now, not with all the damage they are causing.
If you're doing this plan then at least convince some others to do it with you. I will help distract the trolls so you may tie payloads to their legs.

>Brulie laughs and slaps a hand on Veltan's back.
Not if I'm there, friend! I'll be sure to protect you, that I can promise!
Best of luck!

>His face becomes one of concern.
That's quite big...
How many of them do you think there are?

>Ser Velkan looks back in
No need.
I'll do this alone and I'll definitely survive.
Definitely.
>Veltan flops down and crawls away

Honk honk

That is also a good point.

I'll go see if Iris would be willing to try that.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

Best of luck friend.
>Tries to smash the bird with his claymore
Any ideas for the trolls, Sir Bones?

Alright. We shall await your return, friend!

Well, do you at least remember where to strike?

I have no idea of the scale of the army. But I'd say it'd have to be around 150 trolls strong to prove a threat.

>Tries to feed the bird a cracker

Leaving so soon?

I suppose I shouldn't.

Stab therm, we're fighters, aren't we?

Hmmm...
Again, sounds rather dangerous. What if someone was to be hurt? Is there a safer way to engage them?
I do like the idea of the fire-barrels down the hill, yet...
>He sighs.
I hate to harm the trolls.

>Brulie pokes into the conversation.
So we are!
But I trust we are all also skilled negotiators?

The heart?
There are plenty to stab. But yes, its the first option.
Do you honestly want to be turned into a troll? They don't sound like they're even considering talking again.

Yes. But to fight trolls with brute force would be folly, no matter how strong we are.
A great warrior fights with a trained mind.
It is why fighting techniques have been developed.

I would be opposed to fighting as well but diplomacy has been tried and it has failed.
We must not be naive.

>Comes in the meeting
Hey guys how's it going? Phew, lots of trolls around the parts lately, gonna do anything about it? Been scouting around some of the clans, don't seem too friendly them trolls. So we gonna scorch earth the villages around them so they wouldn't have any farms to loot and let them die/starve out in their fights or are we gonna stabbity stab them?

>He gives a grin
Wherever you can!
>He laughs

We are deciding on the tactics now.
Burning down the crops of Tijians seems a bit drastic a tactic while we do not know if we will be able to help the villagers recover.

>Shrugs

...

>Begins laughing

Stabbity Stab.
Troll's don't starve out easy.

Hm, I need an opinion from everyone.
What do we do about the children?
And should we try and recruit the help of other troll clans that are fighting against this "troll king?"

Fantastic.
The obvious answers are usually correct.
No younglings, trolls are too savage.
Im sure most of the trolls allready fighting the "King" would be eager for a chance to group up and fight him.

N-No! I would hate be become a troll. I can't imagine what my dearest goddess would think.
>He sighs.
Still, I'm hesitant to attack them so suddenly.

Right, but maybe the King's diplomats took the wrong approach?
Perhaps the Trolls will be more willing to listen to those of us who are obviously more combat-ready.

>Brulie blinks, then smiles uneasily.
Is something the matter, friend?

So diplomacy's out, brute force is out, and until stated otherwise, magic's out. I mean I'm down with stabity stab, but they don't die easily. What about someone here challenges the Troll King in honorable combat to break the clans? Does that work on trolls or is it an orc thing? I mean we can send someone duel the Troll King and someone else to duel the opposition and once the two challengers win (why wouldn't they, they're Guilders) they can, I dunno, call off the war? Break up the clans? Do trolls work that way?

The children? You mean involving children in this altercation?
>Brulie gasps.
Heavens, no! They mustn't be exposed to such brutalities.
I would be in favor of negotiating with other troll clans to, if not receive their assistance, simply ensure their safety.

Diplomacy is... Not likely.

Not even children who train to fight?

No, I mean the children of the trolls.
And would you know of any tribe that would easily be able to work with us? And be able to counter the voodoo of the "King's" tribe?

Brulie, my friend.
I know trolls. Some are very good friends of mine.
So believe me when I say these ones have already started a war.
They will not care how much we want peace, because peace between each other stands in the way of their victory. They have killed villagers already with their war and they will not hesitate to do so again.

Challenge the king?
It might work. But it is risky.
Aiming to take out the Troll King should be a prime direction though.

No! I mean the troll's!
Do you think their tribes are made up of nothing but grown men and women?

Sudden attacks leave the enemy suprised.
Not a damn clue. Its been too long since I've seen any trolls.
This invitation to a challenge idea sounds like a decent plan. But do we have any idea if the king would accept?

Whatever trouble you're having, I'd love to help. However, I fear I'm in a bit of a pickle. You see I thought to lay down by this trunk and have myself a short nap, but by the time I woke up I couldn't move much. The vines, you see, they tug at my plate. There is also the issue of me not having any meat of my bones. This could have something to do with the witch in these part of the woods, but she and I were on good terms, unless... well anyways, any care to lend a helping hand?

CAW-CAW! CAW-CAW!

>the tiny bird sits out of smashing reach

>the tiny bird sits out of feeding reach

I support this idea!
>Brulie smiles.
It neatly concludes the conflict while allowing for the least amount of bloodshed possible.
Who will be the two challengers, though? And do we even know where to find the two sides, Troll King included?

>Brulie frowns anxiously.
Perhaps... But only under the greatest of supervision and when the risk is lowest.
I don't like the idea, regardless. I couldn't bear to see a child get hurt because of our carelessness.

I... I suppose you're right.
>He sighs.
Situations such as these are so troubling.
>At the troll children remark, his eyes widen.
I... I never thought about it. They wouldn't bring their children to the front lines, would they? Surely they stay back at their homes, where it's safe.

Yes, but it feels so cruel to attack without warning!

Alas, poor Yorick.

At least I'm not stuck to a tree.
>Sir Bones begins chopping at the vines with a knife

IT is not carelessness in our part if the children will seek to charge into the fray on their own, is it?

Another knight gifted immortality through twisted and vile acts. I am sorry to hear about that, and you can lament your situation with Sir Bones some time.
>Videke takes out his sword, Mimung, and starts cutting away at the vines

They are. And these are direct orders from the King of Tiji.
And trolls can be as varied as men, Brulie.
And I would not put it past ones that seek to start wars.

Well for a challenger we can have him come escorted by two guilders, all three in full regalia (banners, trumpets, horses) something big, bombastic, that screams "we're big, tough, and want to fight." That should get their attention. If you gotta kill a couple of trolls to have them hear you out, so be it.

Do that on the King's territory and on the opposition's territory. Kinda like how we did with the emissaries. Now we need to challengers. Fighters who can beat up troll lords in a one on one fight. We need two followers for each of them, carrying banners and acting as heralds to the challengers.

This, or we all go, meet them in the field of battle, challenge the king in one on one combat, rinse, repeat and head to the opposition. If the trolls accept the duel, great. If they don't we fight them and hope for the best.

And what happens if we lose?
Just satisfy my curiosity.
Trolls. You look like you've seen better.
What kind of tree was that?

Of course it is! In their being children associated with the guild, it is our responsibility that they avoid harm.
Such reckless abandon as to charge at trolls should be discouraged, anyhow.

>Brulie frowns.
Well, I suppose if they are so twisted as to drag their children to the front lines, we should make every effort to avoid harming them.
Perhaps simply knocking them unconscious would do?

That sounds rather splendid.
>Brulie taps his gauntlets together.
Does the guild have those sorts of resources, though? We may be able to petition the king for elaborate banners and the such, as he is the one requesting this to be done.

Trolls, mostly.

It should. But they are children, and we are adults. They're not likely to listen to us.

Hm. I am not sure if we need to challenge the other troll leaders.
But I am willing to face the "Troll King" in one on one battle.
So says I, Videke Wiolantson, Son of Wiolant of the Forge, and Champion of Areis.

We have a tribe of trolls to fight, as they have started a war against their own kind in the lands of Tiji.
They are led by a troll calling himself their king.

We're the Fighter's Fucking Guild. We don't lose.
We just flee, regroup and try again later.

>Videke nods
But do not underestimate them.
A few knicks will hardly stop a troll in his tracks. Even if he is but a young lad.

You think too badly of the children, Sir Bones.
Not all of them are rebels or deliquents.

I remain indebted to the Guild... I fear no manner of beast, nor their heathen magics.

Direct my wrath.

Right...
Perhaps we should lock the guild doors while we are away, then? To prevent the children from making such a foolish decision, that is.
Or perhaps leave some warriors behind to take care of the children.

I would normally be loathe to such combat, but if for the sake of peace, I would also be willing to combat this Troll King, should the need arise.
Plus, with what I hear of him thus far, he likely needs some redeeming.
>Brulie's giant axe flashes twice.
Aha! My lovely goddess agrees!

>Brulie solemnly nods in return.

Perhaps you should simply remain calm for now, friend.
>He laughs nervously.
We are still situating our plans.

Thank you gentlemen, I swear I will pay back this kindness, but you must excuse me for a while so that I may collect my bearings. The landscape is not as I remember it. But before I go a gift.
>Sir Yorick places in each knight's hands a prickly seed. A knight with flesh would notice that no matter how he holds it, the seed manages to still pierce the flesh slightly enough to let loose a drop of blood.
The witch said these seeds are good for your memory. I don't know how they work, but I trust her. Well, I'm off.
>Sir Yorick disappears into the woods, hopefully to not get entangled yet again.

Perhaps. But many who begin learning the way of the blade at young ages will be headstrong and foolish.

The latter would most likely be a better way to go about it.

...

Yeah, this is probably cursed.

Some of us are thinking to challenge the tribe leaders directly.
Sir Leiot, would you be willing to lead our warriors should we select individuals fail to defeat the leaders of the trolls?

Then if you will, I would like you to accompany me if I am to challenge the Troll King in one on one combat.

>He nods
Farewell, Sir Yorick.
I will keep it upon my person.

Then you would suggest having them fight before they are truly ready?

Ok so we have Sir Videke, the Pure-Hearted Paladin and Crusader Leiot to challenge to Troll King. Any other candidates? As for the pomp, the challenger can represent the Guild and the Kingdom. Heck, we can have TWO banner bearers, one for the Guild's banner, another for the Kingdom's. THREE if the challenger has a banner of his own.

Oooor, we can challenge the King and his two best men (trolls) against three of our men. Three seasoned fighters have better synergy than three trolls, higher chance to victory, lower chance of bloodshed.

That said, we have the VERY real threat of trolls turning our challengers into trolls, which would be very bad.

Then we should seek out the aid of another troll tribe.
One that can provide trinkets to ward off the magic of the Troll King's sorcerers.
And I have four extra banners which I can have carried to accompany me.

Yes, I agree.
I would volunteer myself, but it appears that I must confront the Troll King along with Sir Videke.
A most grave task.

Certainly! I would be most excited to assist you in any way possible.
>Brulie smiles happily.

I should hope that there will be a reasonable tell to the troll-creating voodoo. We must be certain to spot it and avoid at all costs.
Ah, I like this idea! The other trolls must know something.

>We are still situating our plans.
Of course. I am...unaccustomed to the ways of this land.

I am still unsure as to how I came to arrive here.

I am an outsider. I have no right to command.

Good evening my Lords

Allow me to introduce myself, I am Bori Wyrmsmiter, Journeyman Artificer and Siege Warfare Specialist

I heard about your Troll problem and figured I just the tools to sell at reasonable rates

Thank you, Brulie.

Nonsense. You are a capable warrior with a great mind.
But if you do not feel comfortable leading, I would ask of you to accompany me to challenge the Troll King.

Ah! Perfect!
We will have need of your crafts, if not today then some other battle!
What have you to offer?

No.

But many will try, anyway, regardless of how ready they are.

Then chances are I'll be the one to remain behind.

Thank you, Sir Bones.
Your skills and actions are most appreciated.

Waitaminute, wait a minute, wait wait wait. Can Sir Bones die? Can Sir Bones be afflicted by the troll turning magic? If both answers are no, why not have Sir Bones just challenge the Troll King?

Otherwise Artificer, can you make something that can resist Troll magic? A suit or armor or something? Or something that can resist involuntary shape change? Or a detection device to detect the source of the troll's magic?

Hm...
>Videke looks to Sir Bones with a questioning look

Rune inscribed Warmachines if you got the Time and Money

Temporary Enchantments for Weapons if you got some time and enough money

For no time and little money I've got a Cursed Decanter of Endless Water that shoots Fire but only the one

Ah, we may be similar, then! I arrived here only weeks prior to now.
I'm sure the other members of the guild are as pleased to have your strength by their sides as I am.

Certainly!
Just inform me as to when I'm needed and I'll be there.

But you seem most fearsome in battle, having no flesh that can be harmed!
>Brulie frowns.
Plus, perhaps the children would be frightened at your... Intimidating visage?

Well, I can get smashed apart. That's annoying to fix.

But I'm not easy to transform

Oh come on, I'm not that scary.

Anything to combat troll magic?

Plans are changing.
Such is the nature of war planning.

Can your bones be broken though?
And can you come back together on your own accord?

Well shit. Sir Bones, what say you challenge the Troll King? With Brulie, Sir Videke and the Crusader as fellow companions. Hell, the sight of a SKELETON challenging the Troll King would seem like death itself would seek his death.

That said, should Sir Bones fall, the sight of their king slaying "death" itself would rally the trolls like nothing before, so it's a real gamble.

I could scribe a scroll of dispel magic if I have the time and resources

You'd need someone to activate it at the right time though

Haha...
>His eyes dodge around the room.
Well, I can't say you're particularly amicable at first sight, either.
However, quite so upon speaking to you, might I add.

So they are!
>Brulie laughs.
Let us hope it is for the better.

They can, and I can.

I mean, I can give it a try, I guess.

Why thank you for that.

That is a gamble.
They may become twice as fearsome should Sir Bones be beat.

How much would each of your war machines cost?

Yes. Let us hope.

Sir Bones, do you wish to challenge the Troll King?
I can if you think it too risky. I have no doubt that we would both be in for a tough match.
And I feel my possible defeat will have a far less impact than the possibility of yours.

So it would seem, friend. Though, I must not be too far, for I still feel my divine protection. Where were you from?

Would that I had more than pocket change, craftsman.

Certainly! I only speak the truth, friend.

>Brulie leans in, listening intently for Sir Bones's answer.

Ah, nowhere but the noble land of Suoma! Sometimes I miss the sting of the snow-filled gusts against my skin, but my goddess has called me here, so here I must be.
>Brulie smiles.
What about you, friend? What is your home like?

I guess I could.

That's kind of you.

>Fransisco walks the room wringing his hand around while going AYEEEE
>he holds his hand up and his enter hand is mangled and smashed
Wooee! Wait, this isn't the infirmary...
>he holds his hand back and tries to look cool, the red face, the clenched jaw, and the squinted eyes gives away any bluff
So how goes it my fellow fighters?

Depends on which one's you want

A Flaming Ballista will 3 or 4 thousand gold

A Flaming Catapult cost 5 or 6 thousand

And I can make a Giant Flamethrower for 8 to 10 thousand

I guess it's settled then? Sir Bones will be our champion and Brulie, Crusader Leiot and Sir Videke his herald and battle companions should the Troll King seeks a group combat. Anyone got advice or artifacts to hand our champion? I for one suggest that you abuse the fact that the trolls are superstitious and that you're a Spooky Scary Skeleton Knight.

Meanwhile the rest of us will ready ourselves should the worst happen (you four die) and a large scale battle starts with the Artificer's engines.

Wait, you too are from Suoma?

This is not a "guessing" situation.
Either say you want to do it or say you do not care.

Planning.

We are being told to take on this "Troll King" by the King of Tiji himself.
So we have ample money.

I am not sure we have settled it. Again, there is no room for guessing.

> Runs in waving a clipboard with a very sharp metal edge.
Im sorry, but we frankly cannot afford any of these options!
I might be able to find maybe 200 gold to fund this, but if you all want more, we need to make the members pay their dues, and collect on the debts that the Duke of Dalathar owes us!

Oh, that's /nice/
>ooh
What are exactly are you planning /for/?
>each of his highlighted words more a squeal than phonetic word

You are intoxicated, aren't you?

Unfortunately, the payment agreement is on delivery. So the King won't be financing these extravagances. Now we could intercept the wagons transporting the money we will be paid with before to pay the artificers in advance, but that is a decision for high command.

Very well, I will do it.

Ah! You're the fencer from earlier! I was most impressed with your techniques.
>He frowns at your hand, his eyes wide.
You're hurt! Did something happen?

That sounds like a good plan!
There's no need for a backup, I'm sure Sir Bones is plenty fearsome to conquer the Troll King!
>He smiles.

But of course!
Are you as well?
>Brulie's smile broadens.
I had a hunch when we tossed that boulder between us earlier!

Is that so?
Then it seems we are unable to provide the coin immediately...

Very well. But fight as if you can be killed once more.
We are placing our hopes and trust upon your shoulders.

>Videke nods and smiles
I am Sir Videke Wiolantson, son of Wiolant of the Forge.

Oh, what can I say?! Us Fransians are ones quite strong for their liquor! I can hardly spend an hour sober.
>his red face gives the idea that or more likely took an accelerant
Oh, well thank you very /much/ I'm glad you appreciated my works....oh I'm not hurt.
>he stands closer to videke to obscure that he's hiding his hand
I'm just....holding a gift for someone, tis a...family tradition! Upon such a day, however, I can only let that certain someone see it!

Depends on the time frame then

It'd take a couple weeks and I'd need helpers for my Flamethrower

but the rune engraving for a Ballista or Catapult will only take a few days if you have decent one

...You were looking for infirmary?

Sadly, we have only hours until our plans need to be executed.

Cursed Decanter of Endless Water for five hundred gold then

I take the 200 gold now and the rest in goods or services

well if we do some Debt collecting we could definitely deliver a down payment...

My name is Brulie! Just Brulie. It's a pleasure to meet you, Videke.
>Brulie taps his chin with a gauntlet.
Wiolant... That name sounds familiar. Is your father well-known?

>He smiles.
Ah, a gift! How delightful. I do hope that whoever its intended for enjoys it.
If I may ask, are they part of the guild? Perhaps I can help you find them.