Your party encounters a harpy. You know three things about them:
>Harpies lust after the flesh of elves. However, they will only eat the flesh of other humanoids if desperate. >The closest elves are a bunch of commoners running an orchard some five or ten miles from here. >Even a single harpy would be a fairly difficult, though not suicidal, fight for your party. Fortunately, this one seems to be alone.
Wat do?
Even if you're an LG paladin, the GM won't penalize you for slaying a harpy this close to an elven settlement
Tyler Ramirez
>Hide behind a rock. >Its curiosity bests itself. >It investigates. >I stab it in the throat. >Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.
Benjamin Ortiz
>Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
Eating a harpy is still considered a sin by most deities.
Owen Garcia
It also considered an abomination by other deities. Your point?
Austin Allen
The point is, as GM, I am telling you that you will summon the wrath of the gods for eating one.
Christopher Turner
garbage setting desu
Daniel Rodriguez
Only the human parts, drumstick is fair game.
Samuel Nguyen
I grow tired of the lies of the gods!
Jackson Long
But my half-orc scarred witch doctor needs it's blood!
Sebastian Perry
Offer to tell it a story as payment for our passage.
Chase Moore
>beat harpy down to -1 HP >Stabilize through healing >Take to Elves >"Hey, we killed this, we demand a reward!" >If they say no, heal it to positives and toss it at the elves >If they say yes, take the reward then heal it and toss it at the elves anyway >In either case, take anything the elves still have on their person
We can't lose here.
Nolan Kelly
>Beat the snot out of it. >Keep it just alive enough so that it can be captured. >Get her to be less of a picky eater, she can eat rations and cattle meat, complaining will be punished. >Make her into a loyal servant. >Oh, and use her as a sex slave, I guess.
Jason Perez
Without hesitation, my character engages the harpy in combat to save the commoners. The Righteous must always take a stand against the Wicked! He'll begin by slinging stones, and switch to javelins if the slattern gets closer.
Christian Morris
I've got some meat for that slut right here
*unfastens ye olde dick*
Cameron Edwards
Our party captures rare and exotic animals to sell to private zoos and collectors.
We're capturing that harpy and caging her. Or at least clipping her wings and trimming her claws before chaining her up.
Should we fail to find a buyer then she'll be kept for our own personal collection.
We might also go an collect one of the elves also.
Leo Phillips
Pull back, warn the elves, maybe set a trap for the monster if we can afford the delay to whatever quest we're on.
Keyword here is that it 'seems' to be alone. With something that can fly, has a distinctive screech, and has bird-like vision, that's not a guarantee.
Noah Diaz
Once there was a pathetic, stupid, flea-bitten harpy that REALLY annoyed the wrong person. He killed it, ate its heart, and put its rotting carcass on display as a warning to the rest. The end.
Oliver Carter
Rolled 3 (1d20)
I roll to seduce.
Michael Peterson
>The gods have enough free time to give a shit if I roast one harpy for dinner. Sounds to me like the gods are pussy ass half deities who can barely be arsed to receive proper faith. So fuck 'em, eat it anyways. My curses in death will drag them from their thrones and poison the minds of their flock, and the Elves shall deify my memory to give me immortality as their savior from the sky menace.
Jeremiah Gomez
Break out my elf cologne that I use to seduce all the ladies (cause everyone knows elves are hawt) and spray it on a nearby bunny or something similarly innocent and harmless, but capable of running away at high speeds. A cheetah would be ideal but they are uncommon. The harpie is deceived and goes for the scented animal while me and my crew sneak past
Lincoln White
But gods don't care if the harpy eats someone? Double standards!
Easton Richardson
>that pic >imagining those huge-ass talons on dick This is gonna be extremely painful.
Jace Wilson
She's a big girl.
Justin Lopez
...
Nathaniel Powell
1) ask harpy how much can she offer for 20 elves 2) go to elves and ask how much can they offer for harpy's head 3) take elves money and murder them 4) Feed harpy, take her money and kill her when she can't fly from pvereating
Levi Nelson
For you she is at least.
Adam Young
Do they ONLY eat the flesh of humanoids, not, like, any normal food? Like, is there literally nothing else that won't make them horribly ill and die?
Because if so, then ho boy, we've got a logistical problem on our hands. Now, the easiest solution I'm seeing is get some of our citizens (elves primarily) to agree to monthly/daily flesh donations- we'll have our healers there to repair damage and reduce suffering to a minimum. However, even to feed a single harpy that would require either one exceptionally giving person or several above-average citizens just to feed a single harpy. It's a barely workable short-term solution.
If we ever want to truly integrate the harpies into our empire, then, it will be an arduous endeavor. Increasing the kingdom's population through the usual means of course would help, as the more people there are in general the more people willing to donate flesh there will be. It is probably also wise to promote religions that focus on giving freely to others and cultivating a narrative for the kingdom that paints the average citizen as one willing to help others in order to increase the proportion of people willing to go through with voluntary flesh donations. We should strongly consider options that may result in more alchemists and healers in the kingdom as well, as the latter is neccesary for flesh donations and the former could make pain-numbing salves to make the process more palatable.
While mandatory donations are off the table, it may be acceptable to the general populace to require prisoners to undergo flesh donation- this would ease the burden on voluntary donators and perhaps dissuade crime as well.
The most viable long-run plan is to hire a great alchemist to look into the creation of soulless elf-flesh homunculi that could be grown and eaten without ethical concerns.
Camden Scott
Or just kill the harpies.
Josiah Brown
Dick bitten off.
Justin Davis
People who can fly natively would be really valuable though. Probably worth the investment.
James Young
>Killing a potential population center you can instead incorporate into your empire You really gotta look at the big picture, man
Zachary Torres
Farm trolls. Develop a variant on Flesh to Stone, Flesh to Tastier Flesh. (If you seared it into a troll steak, could you simply use the cantrip that makes meager meals taste amazing?)
Charles Rivera
If the gods are that petty, then I'm going to start a goddamn KFC out of harpy genocide. I fucking dare them.
Robert Walker
An excellent idea. You're hired. Be at the king's counsel room tomorrow after breakfast.
Xavier Martin
>Wat do? That question assumes that my party and common sense and/or instinct of self preservation exist at least in some proximity to each other. Which is not the case. Like completely.
Someone will probably again drop bleeding and there is a decent possibility that halfling will try to play a game of bulldog bit with harpy.
Aaron Peterson
Harpies can thrive on a diet high in any kind of meat. In fact, harpies in the wild mostly subsist on mundane birds and game animals. It's just that elf-flesh is like crack to them.
Adam Bell
>Even if you're an LG paladin, the GM won't penalize you for slaying a harpy this close to an elven settlement
Why would they penalize him. Why would that even be a possibility.
Asher King
That's the opposite of the situation presented in OP, though.
Henry Flores
"They only eat other humanoids if desperate." Doesn't say anything about them eating non-humanoids.
I'm the OP, I would know
Luis Moore
Then you need to get a whole lot better at writing so people can understand what you're asking.
Nathan Gonzalez
Honestly? I do, yeah.
Colton Howard
I don't think it's bad. Just from the text in the OP I assumed it would be something along the lines of and was about to post something about using whatever non-humanoid food it eats to get close enough to it to farther investigate the situation.