PC marriage

Anyone ever have a monster waifu

We had a Storm Giant chick we did quests for whom one of the party fell in love with.

She used to bath naked in a gigantic hot spring atop a snowy mountain.

Naw, it was all very innocent. Star crossed lovers and all that. Except it actually turns out nice.

do vampires count?

Did she ever like him back

Yes

Trust schmust. Even if they kill off your waifu, you still have inlaws to lean on for help and use as contacts. Make a character who has family all over the known world, so you always have someone to crash with and to help you hide bodies and make authentic food like mama used to make.

My Martell character got memed by a Lannister slut who sucked his dick and then put the cum on her cunt in order to get pregnant. I think the family wanted to extort me with the existence of the bastard or something.

The DM was a bit surprized when I said that I would do the correct thing and actually marry the girl and accept the kid as mine. I actually even pondered the option of asking her before the kid thing since my character and the girl had fought a White Walker together and he respects that.

She thought of him as some sort of adorable pet, we think. She let him brush her hair.

Not sure what he would have done if she did give in though, she had tits bigger than his entire body.

>Marry into Lannisters. Always have lines of credit open from then on.

Lannisters are rich as fuck and care about family, so presumably having a Lannister-blooded kid means you will always be able to draw on cash from their goldmine.

Curious how that session went.
>Roll to blow your load in the blonde's mouth.

>Not sure what he would have done if she did give in though, she had tits bigger than his entire body.
Get promoted from pet to dildo?

If you don't trust them, you shouldn't be playing with them anyway.

That's true, although I'm from the House Martell which is another Great House myself and my character is not very ambitious so more cash is not really something that he wants or needs.

For now he's just happy after doing what's correct and a bit shocked of having to be responsible for the first time in his life. And as a player I know that Lannisters never do things out of charity, if their professional slut daughter managed to marry my guy it's because they have plans for him.

To be honest, my character was between 16-19 and pretty dumb, basically a medieval Chad Thundercock. The DM could've said "you didn't even bother to pull it out the last time you fucked her" and I would've not complained.

Quite possible, we got a full description of her stark naked one time.
Her bush was a sparkling mound of purple hair like silk carpet

Had a similar situation in a GoT RPG where my character was raped, and he blew his load in her. She considered having the child to gain political power over the guy as he didn't have any other heirs at that point.

Your DM has good tastes
Pity you never got to explore her dungeon

My guy would probably kill you on spot for comparing him with a rapist t.b.h. but I get your point.

Campaign ain't over yet...

I say go for it user, become the favored toy of your giant waifu

two magical girls

to each other

one of them isn't even a magical girl but a brainwashed monster convinced she is through her wife's copious use of mental magic

it is an open relationship

It's not my character who's interested in getting some giant snatch, my character is a Rogue girl who has a crush on the villain.

Not yet, but it's a looming issue for pretty much every PC in this campaign for political and economic reasons. The best way to seal a deal is with a marriage, and every PC is currently eligible.

Didn't end up coming to pass, she took moon tea to end the pregnancy, and cut the guys cock off next time she encountered him.

Two of my PCs got married. It was cute.

They were both played by dudes, and both characters were girls

Somehow it never became awkward, because they were just a kind of quirky couple. Also we use Roll20 and don't use facecams which drasticlaly reduces the awkward.

Ah, nevermind then
Good luck with with your husbando though
Help him hook up with his waifu then

I'm a pretty good wing-man, I try.

My Fighter got married to a barmaid who turned out to be an assassin, which is exactly as crazy as it sounds. Long story short, he's now Darth Vader minus the wife-killing.
On the other hand, they're pretty much perfectly compatible.

Well, my first character was a human cleric who ended up marrying a kitsune alchemist NPC at the end of the campaign and having a daughter with her, so I guess that counts.

Possibly also counts.

One time my character got captured by a female Drider and when the rest of the party came to rescue him he was all bound in web getting his dick sucked by her.

Noice

Sometimes you've just got to make a point you know?

Didn't know driders even did stuff like that

Seems a bit odd for such a femdom-centric society. Like, fellatio CAN be a dom move in certain circumstances, but right off the bat?

My barbarian-come-princess was on the verge of proposing to a prince of another house to end a war in which bet house was getting its shit wrecked

She actually liked (and had boinked) him before the war started, and it wasn't unfamiliar concept to her; her father had remarried to seal a political alliance with another tribe. It just would have been humiliating to have to sue for peace from a position of weakness (and she had another boy she's still uncertain-but-interested in).

But when the world is at stake and the bbeg is busy manipulating your two houses into gutting each other because he fears you, you gotta do what you gotta do. Thankfully it boiled over and got resolved through uncovering the manipulators before it came to that.

> bet house
Her house, phone posting.

I had a half elven bard in a kings maker game he was converted to daikitsu after a missionary allowed him to speak with the goddess he later had a vision of replacing the entire forest with rice fields he then traveled all the way to tian xia to find someone to help him with this he met a kitsune farmer married her and began his insane plan to replace all of the near by forest with rice fields

I put it in during character creation to avoid magical realming and batman/lone-wolf bullshit backstories.
I usually play it as a dude who already has adult kids and the spouse is managing some buisness while he's away on missions.

Example:
>Wood elf monk who grew up in a monastery with his father.
>Usually sent out on missions since he was young.
>On one mission saves some roguish chick.
>AFewBottlesOfMoonshineLater.jpg
>They now own a herbalist shop in the town managed by the monastery and kids are learning from various teachers.
>PC is the standard dad on buisness trips.
>Always plays things safe and has regular contact routes with family with escape routes from them should someone try to take them hostage.

AAAAAND the DM still tried to kidnapp the whole family...
Didn't work that well for him after the whole group decided to swap out their characters and use the Wife and Kids as their new PC-s.

>Get info that BBEG is trying to kidnap Wife and Kids
>Worriedly chase after him before something happens
>Open the door to the house only to see the oldest son holding him down while the daugter force-feeds the BBEG laxatives and the youngest son is sharpening a stick to impale him Vlad Dracula-style.
>Wife walks out of the kitchen.
>''Honey have you brought the torture devices i asked you to buy?''
>Torturers kit isn the bag of holding so DM starts to sweat even more

And that's how the DM learned not to do shit plot-hooks.

I had a backstory marriage. Storywise, it worked out quite well. Plotwise, it was supposed to serve as a potential target for the villains, and they nearly got him once.

The enlarge spell / growth potions exist.

That removes all the fun though

I'd imagine it's one of those strange relationships where fisting equals to gentle clitoral stimulation....

She's still in the Huge category while he's only in the Large category...

You being a freak is a separate problem, user.

None of my characters have had so much as a date, a peck on the cheek, or handholding (aside from background fluff). I can't even escape reality in my games.

My character is currently the captain of a ship. Duties includes officiating marriages.

"And so, by the power vested in me by this-beginners Maritime Knots manual.."

Can the captain of the ship preside over his own marriage, or does the first mate do that?
What if you're marrying the first mate and captain for some reason? Who presides then?

You have no idea, my good sir.

Had a wizard that married a sphinx and an evil cleric girl building a lesbian harem with a lillend, an angel, tiefling, doppleganger and a couple elves.

I once had someone marry a barbarian lady. That was normal enough, sure, but earlier in the campaign, the party had encountered a race of intelligent, giant spiders that would evolve into an arachne if they ate human flesh, gainly a vague, distorted semblance of the human's memories & personality. The player in question had chosen to keep one of these spiders as a pet. Fortunately, it was still too young & small to wat anybody, but the player made their intentions clear...

*to "eat" anybody

It sounds like something that would get a Drow turned into a Drider...

Never during the course of the game, but in the epilogues I imagine for my characters they often wind up married.

Once to another party member, and once in a MAID game to the Master. But both of those games were cut short. And it's pretty unlikely the MAID game could actually reach that point without destroying the core conceit.

Our Rogue Trader arranged himself a marriage with the sister of the head of a powerful dynasty, but the game got put on indefinite hold (I'm too body with studies to GM, one of the players had a child, and one got a new job, so nobody's schedueles match) before the actual wedding occurred.

Fey Warlock in 5e married to her patron. It's a reluctant relationship for her, and she's adventuring to get away from her husband. Unfortunately to use and gain more power she needs to perform her wifely duties. Her quest is to break the supernatural bond she has to her husband, before he tires of her games and just takes her away.

My current D&D fighter is married to a giantess. He had to move out and live with her. He now has 2 daughters and happily works his farm.

we have a similar event with a frost giant woman who fell in love with our cleric
he doesn't know what to do and he needs help as she seems to want it very bad and he doesn't want to have death by snu snu

Why are so many people marrying giants? What is this apparently universal appeal?

I think the general idea is that bigger is better.

she fell in love with him and he is not going to say no to a giant that can crush him with little effort

>not having a size fetish

come on son

Yeah, but... to a point, man.

I just noticed this.
>He now has 2 daughters and happily works his farm.
How? It seems like a giant's ovum would be prepared for spermatazoa the size of cigars.

That's rape, man. That's not a good situation to be in.

>what every game with a female barbarian becomes.jpg

he lives in fear of the snu snu

I want nothing to do with your disgusting perversion. I'll stick with MY disgusting perversion, thank you very much.

Tbhfamalam.

Did the lich attack during the ceremony?

I have another party member that's from a royal family and ran away to prevent an arranged marriage with a huge bitch with a midget fetish. Saying no would mean his kingdom getting fucked over by the other kingdom because high elves are dicks

The party once dressed my kobold up like a hooker and let them get kidnapped by a lizard diddler. Does that count?

...How did you find out he was a lizard diddler in the first place?

I don't quite follow what you mean by that.

Well we didn't find out he was a lizard diddler until after the kobold was kidnapped, we thought he was just a bandit leader.
But after my kobold was kidnapped he tried to diddle the lizard. Not the best of games.

...So what led your party to dress the kobold up as a hooker in the first place?
That seriously demands context.

I speak degenerate negroid. He means "To be honest, family member."

One of my players is playing a noble lord, who is getting married to a noble lady who heads her own noble house. Their marriage conveniently marks a joining of the two noble houses leading the resistance to a brewing war in which both major sides have pledged themselves to a different ancient evil.

I understood the literal transcription, because I'm not so dumb that I think slang and abbreviations are some incomprehensible gibberish that strains my little brain to comprehend and thus act like the problem is not me, the person who can't figure out simple slang and that it must in fact be the people using said semaphore without difficulty. What I mean is "how is that a response to my post".

Well, he saved her from a dragon's hoard. Pretty basic stuff. She just took that as courting and took him home with her. And she's not a bulding sized giantess. She's more of a 3 meters tall amazon kinda gal.

>Star crossed lovers and all that. Except it actually turns out nice.

Star crossed means it DOESN'T turn out nice, you ignoramus. Don't use phrases if you don't know their meaning.

Ok so.
>Need to catch Bandit that's been robbing kobold merchants
>party decides to use kobold as bait
>kobold wants to buy merchant clothes at kobold town nearby
>party "nah fuck that we dont want to deal with those smelly shit lizards"
>We'll use what spare clothing we have
>only one with spare clothing is female cleric
>kobold thinks this terrible idea
>Dm says with the rolls we got and materials we used kobold's disguise makes him look like a dimestore hooker
>Leave him out in an open field with a garbage stuffed backpack to be robbed by bandits.
>gets kidnapped by bandits anyway because their leader is a lizard diddler apparently
>weird attempted lizard diddling ensues

yeah that's about it.

>She's more of a 3 meters tall amazon kinda gal.
See, that I can understand. Not my thing but I get it.

Strictly speaking it just means fate (the stars) is working against (crossing) them. Romeo and Juliet had the misfortune of being in families that hated each other like petulant children, but they still could have had a happy ending if they weren't rash hormonal teenagers.

Load up on con enhancements

If all else fails have a contingent resurrection or five ready

Good tastes?

>How? It seems like a giant's ovum would be prepared for spermatazoa the size of cigars.
Depends on the size difference, a 60ft waifu is a different case than one that's a member of the mile high club by default

>That's rape, man. That's not a good situation to be in.
No that's snu snu
The best kind

See?

>She's more of a 3 meters tall amazon kinda gal.
Not best tastes, but still pretty good

Enlarge him, Reduce her, maybe?

>Good tastes?
No. My tastes are best tastes.

Also, back-of-the-envelope calculation here:
60 foot waifu = 10-11x height or normal human = 1000x the volume of a normal human. A sperm cell weighs roughly 2.2x10^-14g; so a giant's sperm cell would have roughly the mass of a smallish grain of sand. An ovum would weigh about as much as a mosquito.

>No. My tastes are best tastes.
My shit tastes >>> your shit tastes

You take that back, you son of a bitch.

My good tastes >> My shit tastes >> Your good tastes >POWER GAP> Your shit tastes

Everyone here has only shit tastes. And of them all, mine are the best.

I missed a 'This,' at the beginning, user. I was agreeing with you.

Never
This is becoming much too silly

But on the actual subject of the thread, no not really, despite (I think) him having some options not helped by the one he ended up pining after not being the marrying typeDid end up in a "friends with benefits" (if you can call it that) situation with her along the lines of with an added dose of humiliation whenever the other female PC wasn't available after the campaign though

...