"Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "magic." Any unrealistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking SCYTHES) has them whining for magic. They beg for speshul snowflake races, talking animals, and stupid monsters on the pretense of "magic." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."
I am sick and tired of coddled Millennials expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a pointy hatted fucker there to throw bombs at all the bad guys and heal their booboos, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its magic~!
I tried introducing my players to this cool historical fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.
>"I want my character to be an elf!" There are no elves. There are only humans. >"I want to be a ninja!" There are no ninjas in Europe. >"Yeah but there might be!"
It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like World of Warcraft. Nobody expected to read about a half-demon-half-angel-dual-scythe wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Rings. It should not be acceptable today either.
There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the unrealistic anime tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the sparkleys and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched settettings/plots. They think they're entitled to be superheroes instead of part of something bigger.
user, do us all a favor and go out and get yourself a waifruit. How about an Apple. Apples are nice and slutty with their firm crispness. Wouldn't you want to fuck an Apple? Ignore the Orange-fags, they play Pathfinder and tell only lies.
Mason Wilson
I...I like kiwis. Oh, God, I'm so ashamed.
Charles Hill
I love pasta, but prefer it with meatballs.
Jaxson Davis
There's no shame in that. Who doesn't love a little hair on their fruit every now and then.
YOU SICK BASTARD.
Kayden Scott
Fuck off Gygax, your dead.
Cooper Ross
What would be a good system for Pixiv Fantasia?
Ian Reed
Ladies, Gentlemen, and assorted other beings, Behold!
A true grognard has come upon us.
Look upon its autism and pity it. Look upon its terrible opinions calcified in an age of terrible game play and shitty rules, and be consoled in your better games. Look at its ahistorical and unimaginative ways, and rejoice in your own creativity, even if it be shallow.
Look upon the Grognard and be ecstatic that you are not as it is.
_4e_ I kid , i kid. Really just about any fantasy system could pull it off in one way or another.
Luke Bennett
Either this is pasta or you are the most butthurt person on the planet.
Josiah Ortiz
Oh boy, it's this thread again!
Owen Campbell
So, what's the best system for historical games?
Isaac Martinez
Fucking apple cucks.
Peach is the best waifruit (and waifu, interestingly enough)
Your waifruit a shit.
Joseph Russell
>Nowadays As opposed to when? As far as I'm aware, it's been like this since leather jackets and pompadours were the hip new thing.
Christopher Peterson
Top taste, dubs confirm. Peaches are great.
Jaxon Bell
Plums are a good second, though.
Chase Robinson
>No mention of the glorious banana
what has Veeky Forums come to.
Evan Stewart
Bananas are for fags.
Parker Edwards
Exactly why i'm surprised.
Joseph Martinez
My waifruit is a pear, I don't know how to feel about this.
Tyler Adams
>not having grapefruit orgies
Srsly what is wrong with you? Twins are the best
John Martinez
What does fucking fruit have to do with ancient bait pasta?
Mason Murphy
>This whole thread Not choosing the vastly superior multi-faceted tomato waifruit.
Lincoln Cooper
>Doesn't want to talk about his waifruit Vegetable fag detected
Isaiah Long
If you want to run alternate history Europe, don't tell your players it's a fantasy game. To everyone but you, fantasy means magic.
You want alt history, or historical, just say it's an alt history game, set in 8th century Norway (or whatever) and bust out your BRP or GURPS books.
I mean really, it's not that hard.
Ryder Wright
GURPS or BRP.
BRP and it's spin-offs have a lot of well researched historical setting books, even if you don't use the ruleset.
Cameron Phillips
Peaches come from a can.
Jason Perry
>doesn't know about superior fruit pasta
Michael Wright
>A.D. 2017 >taking the fruit
It seems you're still sour grapes
Levi Wilson
>Plums are better, though. FTFY
Aiden Cook
>There are no ninjas in Europe. >>"Yeah but there might be!" that's actually a pretty good point
>Historical fantasy Oh so you're introducing fantasy elements to a historical setting? Sorry but it's either historical or it's not, what you're doing is no different to a setting with wizards running around on every street corner.
It's either historical
or it's not
You don't get to stand on some sort of intellectual high ground because you haphazardly slapped the word "historical" before the word fantasy because that is no longer historical in any way. YOu're exactly the same as them, except you're a little bitch.
It's either historical or it's not
And you need to stop being a little bitch and jut move on if you don't like your group instead of bitching about how they should change to suit your preferences
Nicholas Perez
You should feel bad. Pears are objectively the worst waifruit. Pears are just shitty knockoff apples, and should be erased.
Juan Reyes
GURPS
Dominic Martin
I bet you like vegetables, don't you?
Alexander Ramirez
Every time you create this thread, you get a new malignant tumour.
So you think Lord of the Rings or Conan the Barbarian are shit fantasy because they have shitloads of magic in them?
Adrian Thomas
>"Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. Stopped reading there.
Asher Kelly
Well i didnt make those previous threads so the count is still one was just bored and wanted to see people fall for pasta
Aiden Kelly
He might mean alt. History, and just be too retarded to communicate. In which case, no magic, but history didn't go the same way as in real life and the world is at least a somewhat different place.
But "historical fantasy" is misleading bullshit, that makes me think "King Arthur" or "17th century Caribbean, with elves and wizards.
Elijah Campbell
OP, post proof of your age.
Cameron Powell
Bananas are fucking creepy and bananafags are all pathetic;
Cooper Rogers
Strike!
Christian Gutierrez
Ain't this pasta?
William Morales
>"I wanna be a pear! I wanna be an apple!"
No.
"Fruits" are one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and farmers alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "fruit." Any unrealistic character shit or stupid food (fucking GRAPES) has them whining for fruit. They beg for speshul snowflake berries, talking oranges, and stupid grapes all on the pretense of "fruit." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and botanical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."
I am sick and tired of coddled Fruitfuckers expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a high-sugared colourful fucker there to throw berries at all the bad guys and give them juice, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really lose because ~its fruit!~
I tried introducing my players to this cool vegetable fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.
>"I want my character to be a pear!" There are no pears. There are only carrots. >"I want to be an orange!" There are no oranges in Europe. >"Yeah but there might be!"
It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like World of Fruitcraft. Nobody expected to read about a half-lemon-half-apple-dual-juicer-wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Cabbage. It should not be acceptable today either.
There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the unrealistic fruit tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the berries and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched vegegetables/plots. They think they're entitled to be fruit pickers instead of part of something bigger.
David Bennett
The fuck peaches are you eating?
Connor Bennett
>he doesn't like vegetables bet you're a fat fuck, carrots are gr8
Anthony Parker
at that point it's not even fantasy anymore, also you sound like an absolutely unpleasant dickhole
Jordan Turner
Bananas are best Fruit
Logan Morris
Verily, magic is an abomination most foul.
Angel Wilson
>says the bitch boy with the Blink Dagger and Force Staff
David Roberts
That's what you get for playing D&D and setting it in the "real world".
Ironically if you had a life that your gaming wasn't a sad replacement for, you wouldn't be so prone to posting bait thread.
Logan Reed
>Blink Dagger and Force Staff
Neither tool dabbles in the arcane ways, tis merely a product of purity of will. Return to your cabal, wretch, so that you too may be sundered with them! Fucking wizards.
Hunter Brooks
>ITT
Jordan White
>carrot >preferring fallic vegetable to perfectly shaped peaches
Logan Sullivan
Spotted the vegefag
Connor Carter
They were put there by a man In a factory dowtooown >it's about vaginas
Parker Russell
Peaches are the best.
They have booty They have soft, almost invisible hair They have a beautiful color And when you get them going they are oh so very wet and juicy. They like it sloppy.
Robert Peterson
May your games be filled with Dagon Rikis and bootless Snipers, you filthy magicless muggle.
Jaxon Baker
...
Jose Howard
>Peaches come from a can. >The fuck peaches are you eating? >They were put there by a man >In a factory dowtooown >>it's about vaginas Olives get no love.
Jace Sullivan
I thought you said copypasta was against the rules. I'm waiting fro this thread to be deleted if that is true. Upon empirical observation, the claim "your thread was deleted because it was copypasta" is false. It was deleted because I was the one posting it, and I am apparently the only person who has to follow the rules.
Elijah Campbell
>ctrl-f avocado >no results >concern and disdain
its like you don't even know how to enjoy fruit
Aiden Gutierrez
You can never go wrong with a pair of tiny, sweet cherries. Don't let modern society tell you it's wrong, if god didn't wan't you to eat cherries, they wouldn't be sweet and tasty.
Ian Morales
>We thought it was realismanon, but it was rulesanon the entire time
WHAT A TWEEST
Elijah White
>>liking wrinkled, green and mushy fruit
Austin Brown
No, I'm not the OP of this thread.
Luke Richardson
Because it became fun and original within one reply.
Parker Jackson
Why should the OP be punished for the replies?
Kevin Sullivan
Yep, that's life. Ain't it a bitch.
Ethan Scott
...
Aiden Phillips
>can't even greentxt rite >doesn't like alien oldpeople skin peeled forth to reveal succulent smooth richness
Isaiah Miller
Once you pop the first one, it's addictive
Jace James
Tomatos are garbage that can never make up their minds. Splatter them and go to best waifruit, strawberries.
Asher Gonzalez
Is it true European strawberries are different from American strawberries?
Kevin Moore
...
Ethan Robinson
Momomo sumomo, famalam.
Cooper Price
Yes. The fraises des bois (the European kind) is smaller and more delicate, so it's hard to cultivate commercially, but it tastes way stronger.
Plus the seeds aren't visible on the outside, they're covered with skin and are just a bunch of bumps.
Easton Johnson
Don't sully Gygax. He loved wizards.
Jace Hall
Bananas are berries though.
Benjamin Price
>>"I want to be an orange!" >there are no oranges in a stew Would be better in my opinion
Blake Moore
>No ninja in Europe That means they're good at their job dummy.
You must be one of those AD&D faggots that think D&D was meant to be as not-fun as possible.
Or worse... 3.PF "core only". That's just retarded.
>In a purely non technical sense, these creatures have evolved to "mate" with absolutely anything that has DNA; even a mold spore sucked into its grinding innards. Suddenly, the Tyranids and Zerg sound just a smidge more believable, don't they? bogleech.com/wheelbearers.html
>Joining the female in her anal skin-bag can be anywhere from one to several dozen tiny, arrow shaped males (top) who spend their lives squished between the gall wall and their bloated, gargantuan mate, competing with each other to fertilize her eggs. Like their eating habits, little else is known about their life cycle. bogleech.com/bio-paracrust.html