"I wanna be a wizard! I wanna be a mage!"

>"I wanna be a wizard! I wanna be a mage!"

No.

"Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "magic." Any unrealistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking SCYTHES) has them whining for magic. They beg for speshul snowflake races, talking animals, and stupid monsters on the pretense of "magic." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."

I am sick and tired of coddled Millennials expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a pointy hatted fucker there to throw bombs at all the bad guys and heal their booboos, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its magic~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool historical fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to be an elf!"
There are no elves. There are only humans.
>"I want to be a ninja!"
There are no ninjas in Europe.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like World of Warcraft. Nobody expected to read about a half-demon-half-angel-dual-scythe wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Rings. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the unrealistic anime tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the sparkleys and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched settettings/plots. They think they're entitled to be superheroes instead of part of something bigger.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=WtR2m20C2YM
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/50211585/
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/50831438/
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/49764993/
myscienceacademy.org/2015/09/07/draco-volans-the-tiny-dragon-discovered-in-indonesia/
greatmingmilitary.blogspot.com.br/2015/12/the-ghost-faced-warrior-monks-of.html
mitzialexander.itch.io/orc-dating-sim
miriam-english.org/files/fluidics/FluidControlDevices.html
bogleech.com/wheelbearers.html
bogleech.com/bio-paracrust.html
wuxiaworld.com/general-glossary-of-terms/
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/acp.1607/full
sms.zrc-sazu.si/index.htm
xenology.info/Xeno/11.2.2.htm
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

user, do us all a favor and go out and get yourself a waifruit. How about an Apple. Apples are nice and slutty with their firm crispness. Wouldn't you want to fuck an Apple? Ignore the Orange-fags, they play Pathfinder and tell only lies.

I...I like kiwis. Oh, God, I'm so ashamed.

I love pasta, but prefer it with meatballs.

There's no shame in that. Who doesn't love a little hair on their fruit every now and then.

YOU SICK BASTARD.

Fuck off Gygax, your dead.

What would be a good system for Pixiv Fantasia?

Ladies, Gentlemen, and assorted other beings, Behold!

A true grognard has come upon us.

Look upon its autism and pity it. Look upon its terrible opinions calcified in an age of terrible game play and shitty rules, and be consoled in your better games. Look at its ahistorical and unimaginative ways, and rejoice in your own creativity, even if it be shallow.

Look upon the Grognard and be ecstatic that you are not as it is.

_4e_ I kid , i kid. Really just about any fantasy system could pull it off in one way or another.

Either this is pasta or you are the most butthurt person on the planet.

Oh boy, it's this thread again!

So, what's the best system for historical games?

Fucking apple cucks.

Peach is the best waifruit (and waifu, interestingly enough)

Your waifruit a shit.

>Nowadays
As opposed to when? As far as I'm aware, it's been like this since leather jackets and pompadours were the hip new thing.

Top taste, dubs confirm. Peaches are great.

Plums are a good second, though.

>No mention of the glorious banana

what has Veeky Forums come to.

Bananas are for fags.

Exactly why i'm surprised.

My waifruit is a pear, I don't know how to feel about this.

>not having grapefruit orgies

Srsly what is wrong with you? Twins are the best

What does fucking fruit have to do with ancient bait pasta?

>This whole thread
Not choosing the vastly superior multi-faceted tomato waifruit.

>Doesn't want to talk about his waifruit
Vegetable fag detected

If you want to run alternate history Europe, don't tell your players it's a fantasy game. To everyone but you, fantasy means magic.

You want alt history, or historical, just say it's an alt history game, set in 8th century Norway (or whatever) and bust out your BRP or GURPS books.

I mean really, it's not that hard.

GURPS or BRP.

BRP and it's spin-offs have a lot of well researched historical setting books, even if you don't use the ruleset.

Peaches come from a can.

>doesn't know about superior fruit pasta

>A.D. 2017
>taking the fruit

It seems you're still sour grapes

>Plums are better, though.
FTFY

>There are no ninjas in Europe.
>>"Yeah but there might be!"
that's actually a pretty good point

youtube.com/watch?v=WtR2m20C2YM

>Historical fantasy
Oh so you're introducing fantasy elements to a historical setting? Sorry but it's either historical or it's not, what you're doing is no different to a setting with wizards running around on every street corner.

It's either historical

or it's not

You don't get to stand on some sort of intellectual high ground because you haphazardly slapped the word "historical" before the word fantasy because that is no longer historical in any way. YOu're exactly the same as them, except you're a little bitch.

It's
either
historical
or
it's
not

And you need to stop being a little bitch and jut move on if you don't like your group instead of bitching about how they should change to suit your preferences

You should feel bad. Pears are objectively the worst waifruit. Pears are just shitty knockoff apples, and should be erased.

GURPS

I bet you like vegetables, don't you?

Every time you create this thread, you get a new malignant tumour.

archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/50211585/
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/50831438/
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/49764993/

I guess you have three by now, good job!

So you think Lord of the Rings or Conan the Barbarian are shit fantasy because they have shitloads of magic in them?

>"Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games.
Stopped reading there.

Well
i didnt make those previous threads
so the count is still one
was just bored and wanted to see people fall for pasta

He might mean alt. History, and just be too retarded to communicate. In which case, no magic, but history didn't go the same way as in real life and the world is at least a somewhat different place.

But "historical fantasy" is misleading bullshit, that makes me think "King Arthur" or "17th century Caribbean, with elves and wizards.

OP, post proof of your age.

Bananas are fucking creepy and bananafags are all pathetic;

Strike!

Ain't this pasta?

>"I wanna be a pear! I wanna be an apple!"

No.

"Fruits" are one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and farmers alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "fruit." Any unrealistic character shit or stupid food (fucking GRAPES) has them whining for fruit. They beg for speshul snowflake berries, talking oranges, and stupid grapes all on the pretense of "fruit." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and botanical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."

I am sick and tired of coddled Fruitfuckers expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a high-sugared colourful fucker there to throw berries at all the bad guys and give them juice, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really lose because ~its fruit!~

I tried introducing my players to this cool vegetable fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to be a pear!"
There are no pears. There are only carrots.
>"I want to be an orange!"
There are no oranges in Europe.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like World of Fruitcraft. Nobody expected to read about a half-lemon-half-apple-dual-juicer-wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Cabbage. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the unrealistic fruit tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the berries and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched vegegetables/plots. They think they're entitled to be fruit pickers instead of part of something bigger.

The fuck peaches are you eating?

>he doesn't like vegetables
bet you're a fat fuck, carrots are gr8

at that point it's not even fantasy anymore, also you sound like an absolutely unpleasant dickhole

Bananas are best Fruit

Verily, magic is an abomination most foul.

>says the bitch boy with the Blink Dagger and Force Staff

That's what you get for playing D&D and setting it in the "real world".

Ironically if you had a life that your gaming wasn't a sad replacement for, you wouldn't be so prone to posting bait thread.

>Blink Dagger and Force Staff

Neither tool dabbles in the arcane ways, tis merely a product of purity of will. Return to your cabal, wretch, so that you too may be sundered with them! Fucking wizards.

>ITT

>carrot
>preferring fallic vegetable to perfectly shaped peaches

Spotted the vegefag

They were put there by a man
In a factory dowtooown
>it's about vaginas

Peaches are the best.

They have booty
They have soft, almost invisible hair
They have a beautiful color
And when you get them going they are oh so very wet and juicy. They like it sloppy.

May your games be filled with Dagon Rikis and bootless Snipers, you filthy magicless muggle.

...

>Peaches come from a can.
>The fuck peaches are you eating?
>They were put there by a man
>In a factory dowtooown
>>it's about vaginas
Olives get no love.

I thought you said copypasta was against the rules. I'm waiting fro this thread to be deleted if that is true.
Upon empirical observation, the claim "your thread was deleted because it was copypasta" is false. It was deleted because I was the one posting it, and I am apparently the only person who has to follow the rules.

>ctrl-f avocado
>no results
>concern and disdain

its like you don't even know how to enjoy fruit

You can never go wrong with a pair of tiny, sweet cherries. Don't let modern society tell you it's wrong, if god didn't wan't you to eat cherries, they wouldn't be sweet and tasty.

>We thought it was realismanon, but it was rulesanon the entire time

WHAT A TWEEST

>>liking wrinkled, green and mushy fruit

No, I'm not the OP of this thread.

Because it became fun and original within one reply.

Why should the OP be punished for the replies?

Yep, that's life. Ain't it a bitch.

...

>can't even greentxt rite
>doesn't like alien oldpeople skin peeled forth to reveal succulent smooth richness

Once you pop the first one, it's addictive

Tomatos are garbage that can never make up their minds. Splatter them and go to best waifruit, strawberries.

Is it true European strawberries are different from American strawberries?

...

Momomo sumomo, famalam.

Yes. The fraises des bois (the European kind) is smaller and more delicate, so it's hard to cultivate commercially, but it tastes way stronger.

Plus the seeds aren't visible on the outside, they're covered with skin and are just a bunch of bumps.

Don't sully Gygax. He loved wizards.

Bananas are berries though.

>>"I want to be an orange!"
>there are no oranges in a stew
Would be better in my opinion

>No ninja in Europe
That means they're good at their job dummy.

You must be one of those AD&D faggots that think D&D was meant to be as not-fun as possible.

Or worse... 3.PF "core only". That's just retarded.

>Their wings are actually a set of elongated ribs, which they can extend and retract on command.
myscienceacademy.org/2015/09/07/draco-volans-the-tiny-dragon-discovered-in-indonesia/

>They also wrapped their heads in red cloths and painted their faces with indigo paint (in imitation of Jian Zhai Pu Sha, not actual ghost) in order to terrify their enemies.
greatmingmilitary.blogspot.com.br/2015/12/the-ghost-faced-warrior-monks-of.html

>newly-formed family of gay orcs who are travelling from the annual orcish assembly to the Highlands
mitzialexander.itch.io/orc-dating-sim

>Suppose that instead of a stream of electrons one used a stream of liquid or gas and tried to perform these operations mechanically rather than electrically.
miriam-english.org/files/fluidics/FluidControlDevices.html

>In a purely non technical sense, these creatures have evolved to "mate" with absolutely anything that has DNA; even a mold spore sucked into its grinding innards. Suddenly, the Tyranids and Zerg sound just a smidge more believable, don't they?
bogleech.com/wheelbearers.html

>Joining the female in her anal skin-bag can be anywhere from one to several dozen tiny, arrow shaped males (top) who spend their lives squished between the gall wall and their bloated, gargantuan mate, competing with each other to fertilize her eggs. Like their eating habits, little else is known about their life cycle.
bogleech.com/bio-paracrust.html

>Glossary of Terms in Wuxia, Xianxia & Xuanhuan Novels
wuxiaworld.com/general-glossary-of-terms/

>Fabricated evidence may, indeed, produce false eyewitness testimony
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/acp.1607/full

>STUDIA MYTHOLOGICA SLAVICA
sms.zrc-sazu.si/index.htm

>the basket skeleton is like a piece of calcified Swiss cheese, a kind of bony trellis.
xenology.info/Xeno/11.2.2.htm

Or he's a pasta chef. That's also a possibility.

Don't play with magic and roll with your realistic historically inspired world then, OP. Way to be a faggot, jeez.

Oh shit it's rulesanon