Storytime thread

I found a piece of inspirational dwarf art that might be your speed, OP

And some ancient Greek architecture, because ancient Greek architecture is as soothing as fuck.

And an inspirational undead army pic, for flavor.

I do like me some marble columns.

Feast your eyes, user.

...

I'm relatively certain I know, and have appreciated that one before.
Thanks, user.

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Just doing what I can.

And that is the last of my ancient Greek architecture.

>Playing a swashbuckler of dubious sanity. Goes out of his way to go on grand adventures purely to impress drunks at taverns.
>Fighting a very angry plagued dragon. Touching its flesh is a fort save for a disease that has a table of symptoms.
>We murder the dragon and when discussing what to do, I take one of its talons as a trophy.
>DM makes me roll a fort save. Pass.
>I pull this talon out, which is the size of a house cat, whenever we're in a tavern so I can tell everyone my exceedingly exaggerated story about how I acquired it. Each time I have to roll fort. Each time I pass. DM is eager to have this disease infect me.
>Several sessions later, my luck finally runs out. I fail the fort save while telling my grand tail in a tavern.
>DM gets really excited and pulls out the table of potential side effects, many of which will kill me in some gruesome fashion. He rolls.
>The DM sighs. The kind of sigh that says "what did I expect?"
>"Your legs stretch out and become freakishly long. You are now 2ft taller and you get+2 to your dex."

I'm not sure which I like more. The core character concept, or that dumb luck let you run with it so long.

I shall tell you the short tale of Shart Blumpkin, Goblin Rogue.

>Shadows of the Demon Lord
>First character died to some bullshit as we didn't fully understand the rules
>I needed to make this character
>Shart Blumpkin, a Rogue with a pretty heavy bow and stuff
>I rolled his background, as is expected of you in the game
>'Love slave of the hag' thing
>I roll how many years it was
>6
>For my interesting thing, I say that I have a reputation for being an amazing lover
>Shart is a fat little fucker with a sing-song voice, the ultimate kavorka man.
>Shart has some magic from his experiences with the hag
>Doesn't use it much as it's pretty nasty stuff
>Among other things, Shart
>>Flirts with an ancient elf goddess thing
>>Decides to provoke a troll in the daytime and is barely fortunate that its weakness is sunlight and not fire.
>>Tries to get some action, doesn't get any
>>Dies because he tried to garrotte a shadow-creature.
His life was short, but his name was hilarious and he really tried to get some.

Shart lived an admirable life for a gobbo. He got to harass three different things.

And he was terrible in combat. All show, no substance. If he hit anything, it was for such shit damage, but the patrons at the bar didn't need to know that.

That plague deal and the fact that he somehow avoided ever dying in our ten year long campaign were basically his most glorious streaks of luck. He was only one of two surviving original characters from start to finish. Everyone else died at some point.

Should have found a taxidermist and fashioned it into a weapon. So there would be a handle where it's safe to grab or something.

More tales for you sir.

Anhaga the cowardly rogue

>DnD 5e game, first one I ever played
>Group is my uncle and his group
>I make a cowardly rogue who's the brother of my uncle's ranger
>Anhaga, the coward.
>Used to be a criminal, then got conscripted.
>His first move in any combat was to run away, as Con was his dump stat.
>He did a whole bunch of stuff in that campaign.
>>Once threw a lump of shit an an enemy commander during a siege; the commander left the battlefield after that
>>When the enemy possessed a friend, Anhaga tried to punch the possession out of them.
>>One time when running away he managed to avoid a nasty breath attack, and then jumped on the back of this winter wolf and stabbed it super hard.
>>When a ghost possessed another party member, he tackled the possession out of them.
>>Made things difficult by trying to replicated the winter wolf stunt on a flesh golem. Anhaga wasn't exactly a smart or charismatic guy.