Can you give some examples of a critical miss for some mundane actions?

>tools ram into your eardrum.
Jesus Christ. I suppose it's only natural that there'd be some "That DMs" out there.

Something like this?

He went into a routine checkup and died from an allergic reaction to the doctor's gloves

It was/is also a common joke that he was basically a robot.

>Crit fails

No fucking surprise that the great reddit migration brings in these kind of braindead GMs that no sane player would enjoy playing with with the exception of players who are just as fucking brainless as he is and laugh and giggle like schoolyard boys as their characters get maimed tying their shoes like a slapstick "comedy" from nearly a century ago. I can see them now, grinning giggling and hooting their wretched hoots as they all sit around the table and the GM's big fucking meaty jowls open up, a smirk across his face as he says the words" roll for it" and then the crowd goes wild. They're rolling to tie their shoes! Haha! How funny is that?! This man is the pinnacle of comedy and masterful gamemastering the likes of which will never be seen again!

>"LOL NAT 1 YOU FALL AND DIE HAHA!!!!!"

The only thing worse than this kind of "gaming" would be implementing critical successes in your games as well, as I'm sure OP does. Most likely crit successes for some great tasteful stuff like "seducing barmaids n fucking them haha" all roleplayed out in beautiful explicit detail with no shame, because he has none to give. The whole gang around a 2x2ft table getting erections as they listen to another male pretend to be a big busty barmaid while they sit there, dicks metaphorically in hand: verbally roleplaying with another grotesque figure.

Honestly you'd be better off hanging from a noose than trying to enjoy this hobby.

you go to cut a piece of meat or fruit, critical miss, you cut your finger

>He doesn't use Degrees of Success rules for his game.
Shit GM detected.

Critical misses shouldn't be that bad for mundane tasks..

I critical miss in combat however, should be.

If you are rolling a d20, that means every time you perform an action that requires a d20 you have a 5% chance of fucking yourself up really bad. That just isn't realistic.

>Critical misses shouldn't be that bad for mundane tasks..
>I critical miss in combat however, should be.
This.
A crit fail on a lock picking roll should result in something like you bending/breaking your tools and needing to replace them, or maybe you jam the lock up so badly that it can't be opened. It should however not be a fatal event.

A crit fail in combat should be fitting to the action you were attempting to accomplish. A standard attack shouldn't result in you slipping and decapitating yourself, but if you were trying to do something flashy, then yeah the failure can be just as flashy.

>Projecting this hard

Oh, Angriest user. It's... fuck, I don't remember, a week or something since I saw a post of yours?
How are you doing? Still pissed about pretty much everything, I see.

Creating a thread on Veeky Forums: your thread is fucking dumb and you injure yourself because your're a retard and deserve it

Intimidation: As you puff out your chest and draw your sword, you cut your own belt, dropping your trousers, stumbling as they wrap around your feet. You fall and sodomize yourself on your own sword.

>Okay. We're out of combat now. You can sleep, heal, whatever.
>I guess we head back to tow-
>But before you do, I'd like everyone to roll a 1d100.
>I rolled a 1.
>As you make your way back to town, you spontaneously combust.

Karma for foisting RWBY onto the world.

I'd actually like to play a game where you had outrageous critical failures as an option for all actions, combat or not.
It would be a pretty funny concept for a slapstick oneshot, wherein you play a some incredibly incompetent team in a vital mission to do whatever. A heist might be fun.

I prefer systems that;

a) grade the qualitative severity of the critical, be it a failure or success.
In the case of critical failures, having them stretch from "befuddled by the circumstances, you fail to act" to "you damage your tools" or "hurt yourself" results if applicable.

and

b) Most importantly, only applies such results in stressful or dramatic situations.
Riding your horse between towns? no roll, it just happens.
Riding your horse to get away from a pack of slavering wolfbeasts? Roll and, if you get a critical fail there is a change you might fall off, cause you horse to fall crushing your leg or worse...

Critical failures and success CAN add drama to a system and situation, but not if every fumble or critical should be the best or worst example of its kind.

To your question?

Riding: Your horse throws its show. -10 percent travel speed until you have them reshod.

Animal handling: Your attempt to win over the guard dog has the opposite effect. the creature is enraged and attacks your outstretched hand

Performance: in your fervor, mid song you damage your instrument. the reaction from the crowd is one of relief.

Cooking: on reflection, those wild mushrooms might have improved the flavour of the stew, but now you and the rest of the party are tripping balls. Hope you're not in hostile territory.

Seriously though, the other user is right.
Unless you actually want your game to feel like an episode of the three stooges set in a larper gathering, apply crits sparsely if at all, and perhaps use a second roll to dictate the severity.

Persuasion: As you stick your thumbs into your suspenders, and strut back and forth, explaining your point, you trip and bite your tongue.

...

here's one.
>first time playing a ttrpg was a couple weeks ago
>first pathfinder session
>we're looking around for evidence
>we find a bunch of black scales lying around
>hmmmm, roll knowledge? do I know what these are?
>nat 1
>DM: "the old wizard is convinced these scales are genuine dragon scales and absolutely priceless."
>they were just kobold scales
>mfw i still hold onto the scales and manage to bluff their value later and land a staff of aiming.

>Intimidation: As you puff out your chest and draw your sword, you cut your own belt, dropping your trousers, stumbling as they wrap around your feet.

This honestly works. The latter part not so much, but a nat 1 intimidation essentially being "you fail, and can never attempt to intimidate them ever again because they think you're a joke now" makes sense.

>Playing 5e Monk
>NPC throws a rock to me
>Say, "I catch it."
>"Roll for it," says the DM, ignoring Deflect Missiles and my 20 DEX.
>Nat 1
>"The rock hits you in the head, dealing 1d4 damage."

user why didn't you bring the deflect missile to the DMs attention?
or did the DM willingly ignore the ability?

Probably works like a goa'ulds energy shield. Deflects high violocity projectiles, but allows low violocity ones.

I yielded to his judgement at the time, but afterwards we had a discussion about it and resolved the issue. It helps when the GM is a good friend of yours and a very reasonable person.

It was just a good example of why I hate rolling unnecessarily and of how feats/stats should render certain rolls unnecessary. Realistically there was no chance of a Level 6 Monk with 20 Dexterity failing to catch a rock that was gently thrown to him, yet the outcome was determined by chance.

That's an interesting way of looking at it, but I imagined it as being the monk physically blocking, parrying, deflecting or catching missiles in mid air.

>5% chance of a hulking muscled orc who specialized in intimidation failing to intimidate a frail little girl because EPIC CRIT FAILS XD even though modifiers would still have made the roll at least a 5.
No fuck you this shit happened in my game and it was bullshit.
I hope you critfail typing on the keyboard and choke on it.

No. We're not leaving this table until someone get sodomized.

...

>Porn ends up being better drawn and animated than the series itself

Okay, given the context that makes significantly less sense and you do indeed have a point. A very angry point, but a point.

Seduction: You romance your partner. Although enjoyable, you now have AIDS... magic AIDS.

>5% chance of randomly getting magic aids any time you have sex
Still fucking stupid.

For a 'crit fail', I either say
>they just fail normally, assuming they miss the mark significantly
or, if it's an important enough roll, I decide
>they get what they want, but they realize that they get it in such a way that they might not have wanted it in the first place had they known
Examples:
>You get that horse you were negotiating for at the price you wanted, and it's as strong and fast as you asked for, but it's also a fucking pain to get it to do what you want. You take a significant penalty to Handle Animal checks dealing with it for the first X months.
>You seduce the princess, and she insists you marry her. Her brother, not entirely amicable to the idea, has a list of tasks you're obligated to complete before you can return for his sister's hand. It is extensive, and seducing another woman would be a very bad idea.

>user critfails a post

fuck, now I should have left it there just for the joke

My first DM killed our party rogue over a failed lockpicking check. The lockpick slipped and went through his eye socket into his brain.

You GM is a fucking retard.

Straight up.

You are rude and a faggot and you are completely correct

Have a polite but firm word with your GM, and explain that such a thing is both complete bullshit and not fun for the group.

WTF? How about he climbs to the top and then falls?

At least be plausible, fuck.

This is so strawman it could spontaneously combust.

Hey now, RWBY got a lot better recently.
They finally managed to animate a character walking.

Yeah, that game was fucked up. To be fair, half of our gaming group had no idea what the fuck they were doing.

Wasn't it a latex allergy he didn't know about?

Then think of it as a learning experience. As long as whoever GMs learns from the mistakes from the past and doesn't intentionally fuck things up, all should be well.

That DM is the only friend you need. Hear those dissenting voices? They are the wind.

Rest: After the recent - eh - incident, you take a short rest to regain your health. However you are startled awake and choke on your tongue. No health points are restored, and roll 1d3 for damage

>This is bullshit.
>You're right... 1d6.

>OP asks for silly critfails for ordinary actions
>Assmad anons shit all over their keyboard in rage at the thought of critfails existing
Stay mad, anons.

Pulling the trigger on a gun:
Gun jams, clip falls out, the ammo falls out of the clip and bounces out in different direction, pinch finger with the trigger, causeing you to drop the gun, which then fires the jammed bullet in you foot before its springs fly out across the room, all of which screwed up the suprise round your team WOULD have gotten.

Critical miss outside of combat rolls only exists so you can make up some retarded shit and laugh really obnoxiously loud about it and post it on imajer for le upboats

@51909163
>there are literal children browsing this board
go finish your homework kid

>@
Looks like he's not the only child on the board.

that's retarded op, it'd make more sense that you manage to wedge the broken pic into the lock, jamming it to the point that a locksmith will be needed to unfuck it.

You take 10 unless you're stressed out or in a dangerous situation. Go on, try hammering in a nail or chop veggies while someone is screaming in your ear and pouring water all over you.

Persuade/ Diplomacy: Instead of calmly stating their request/opinion, go on an autistic rant.

Nat1 GMing: while preparing your homebrew rules, you erroneously think to yourself it'd be funny if everything the players rolled for has a 1 in 20 chance of failure. Of course the players roll, NPCs don't roll.

Nat1 GMing worse: you decide to make all your friends roll for every action and when they roll a one you kill off their character because you think it would be funny and now they won't play with you.

Nat1 thinking capacity: you wanted to do the above but you don't even have the mental capacity to do so. You try asking for help on an anonymous imageboard but are ridiculed thoroughly for your request.

Nat1 life: you had to ask strangers for help on something stupid because you are a mentally deficient coward who is too scared to pursue the games that you want to tell stories about, too lazy to try running something for people, too friendless to know who to invite. Your prospects are nil, and you desperately wanted a natural 1 thread because even a meagre one would be greater than the zero you are.

...

t. man who failed to intimidate a little girl

I bet you're a manlet, too. Not even a nat 20 will help you, m8.

>giving a thumbs up

"When the wizard tries to shout over the magical gale blowing through the courtyard whether you need help with the eldritch horrors manifesting around you, you flip him off."

if you were that allergic to latex it's pretty much a ticking time bomb of when you die. If anything it happening in a doctor's office would be the situation with the greatest chance of survival.

>Lockpicking: as you fumble with your tools, with your ear next to the door, you slip and have the tools ram into your eardrum.
Seems a little extreme. Are critical failures always so horrific?

I would expect something along the lines of the tools breaking with a loud snap, alerting anybody inside.

Oh, this again. Sorry for screaming and posting unrelated pic, but I need to attract attention of those who don't know.

SKILL CHECKS CAN'T CRIT
SKILL CHECKS CAN'T CRIT
SKILL CHECKS CAN'T CRIT
(at least in D&D)