Playing core only, elite array D&D 3.5 online (I know, I know, but it's what the DM insisted on)

Just make it out of Riverine or some shit.

If someone hits it with a Disintegrate? That's one Disintegrate that isn't aimed at you.

Talk to him and tell him to stop being a fucking cunt.

I have plenty of fetishes but I can keep them in my pants when i'm a DM or a player.

>to make sure I don't run a muck
The term is "run amok"

Is there anything wrong with saying your character has huge breasts?

Vampire spawn are just shittier vampires. See if you can just slap a nerfed version of the vampire template on your (presumably now fallen) paladin instead. Of just using the statblock and HD from the monster manual.

>so my character is a berserker orc, his life motivations are surpassing the tribe chief by bringing in as many beastly trophies as he can. he scavenged off a set of armor, has a huge wang and enjoys fighting monsters five times larger than himself
It's like adding condoms to a grocery list. Protip, no one wants to know what you wank off to, especially not in relation to the same game we're all playing. It adds NOTHING.

>No profficiencies.
Why did you loose your class levels? Fallen paladins don't suddenly forget how to swing swords or wear armor, you're just demoted to fighter sans feats.

That said, I know it's core only, so consider exploring your newfound freedom and opportunity to lean CE from NE and angle for Blackguard to make up for the lost levels.

A level 1 paladin becoming a vampire spawn is waaaaaaaaaaaay better than a level 1 paladin becoming a vampire.

archive.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/sp/20030824a

Alternatively, do this rather than eating that template. It still sucks but you can probably ask for something like a bonus feat or other class feature for the HD-lacking levels.

See

I know the level adjustment will hurt if you go full vampire. I am also both and .

Vampire spawn is less of a LA, but also a weaker template in the first place, and the question still stands as to Where The Base Class HD went but I'll wait for OP on that.

The Savage progression I linked is probably not allowed due to it being Libris Mortis rather than Core, but it was worth mentioning in optimistic hope rather than expectation that it'd fly.

Point being the Level 1 Paladin didn't stop being a lvl 1 Paladin when they died, just lost access to most of the supernatural features.

>What should you do if your magical realm gets played to this hard?
See how far you can go
I'm a bit jealous.

If you wanna stay lawful, how's your Wisdom score post-template? Natural armor, wis to AC, high dex from template, DR, etc; Monk's rarely a good idea but a couple levels might help you adjust before dipping Sorc with the boosted charisma for utilities before going either Eldritch Knight or committing to the most ass-backwards path into being a bard imaginable and just keep multi-classing.

>be big titty, voluptuous elf paladin with a (fluff) vow of chastity and modesty, always dressed and armored modestly

Want me to tell you how I know the rest of your post is trash?

I put pretty good odds on the rest of the post being magical realm idiocy, too

Why even post?

Are you like me and wanted to send a picture to someone but didn't want to upload it to an image hosting site?

Not sure why you'd send a twitter tier meme image though.

It's not a template.

">I rise back as a free-willed vampire spawn
>GM says I can play the vampire spawn, have to be evil, but the party is N leaning towards E anyway
"

>OP post.

What kind of Vampire Spawn if not the template?

Vampire spawn the monster.

So you traded in your old character's stats and setup for the monster's stat-block? Not judging, just looking for clarity.

>"""magical realm""" is voluptuous naked women.

Stop using terms you aren't familiar with.

In lieu of response, going to guess at some options there instead.

4d12 is still 4 hit dice worth of feats, that being one at 1st and one at 3rd HD. The Alertness, Improved Initiative and Lightning Reflexes feats are all treated as part of the Vampire Spawn Template, which the creature has whether you're using the template or the example creature's statline. That leaves Skill Focus and Toughness on that statblock as being the HD selected feats. Unless your DM is holding you to that exact stat-line and option selections, those two feats can be traded out for Armor Proficiencies or Power Attack or w/e you would rather have than Toughness (+3 HP) and Skill Focus (+3 bonus on a single skill)

It does seem like a bit of an oversight if they didn't allow for nonstandard vampire spawn. Of course it'll happen to PCs, so ...what then?
I know you say core only but ask your GM to include Libris Mortis in the mix because it really applies to you now. You'd still be a paladin (well, fighter with no bonus feats unless he'll allow paladin of tyranny from Unearth Arcana or let you swap it for cleric/refluff it as 'evil paladin of evilness') but start to advance in the Vampire Spawn monster class.

This is 100% your fault

Deal with it or reroll

Yes.

Vampire spawn is NOT a template.

>It adds NOTHING.
Oh, it adds something, alright.
To my penis.

Vampires, exhibition, alignment change, corruption, robbed.
There's a lot more then than just elf and boobs.

Pic unrelated then? Isn't that a trap?

Is "robbed" really that major a fetish?

It's a hard one to describe in a single word, but there's a bit more to it then just that.

b dat sum duergar bitch?

It's some sort of Warcraft gnome cosplaying as Neil Gaiman's Death