Meanwhile on /w/izard Veeky Forums

>meanwhile on /w/izard Veeky Forums
When are they going to give Wizards and Alchemists separate boards?

>wizards and alchemists think they deserve separate boards
>fighters, barbarians and knights have shared /mar/ forever

Mages and Psionics deserve their own board!

How dare those nature loving freaks invade every board!
Damn druids, Ever since their horses could talk they never shut up about it.

Necromancers should stay on their own board.

Damn geomancers, They're just as bad as the Druids!
Talking rocks... Ha!

Wizards of all kinds deserve their own boards

I want a pyromancy board and a necromancy board so I can jerk myself off for the next 8 eons

We *just* got another board for all those Geas'ing Generals.
Give it a rest for a few kalpa so they don't fold that board back in.
Shit was unbearable, how the hell does that take up 20 threads!

Bard slave, what do?

Friendly reminder that muscle wizards are best wizards.

...

>Casting invisibility to hide
>not just hiding in the shadows

wizards? more like Pissards!

Where my wild magic sorc niggas at?

I cast fireball to light up the room.

All sorcerers are lazy pieces of shit and should kill themselves

t.sorcerer

>not knowing roguish types have an annoying habit of evading all indirect damage
>everything is blackened and easier to hide in
Nice going. I didn't know an extra chromosome was the material component for fireball.

>Escalation mage
You underestimated the size of the fireball.
The whole room is on fire.

I cast water breathing, and then create water to fill the room.

Golems are for wizards who failed studying and took up arts and crafts instead.

When potions stop being magical.

>2017
>implying all magic is wizardry

Read a tome, scrub

You underestimate how good these guys can dodge. I once was at a beach party hosted by the Thieves Guild where some chuckle head cast Tsunami. Wrecked half the city. The hosts didn't even get wet.

Never. You two do basically the same thing, stop acting entitled.

>cross posting from /pol/earms.

>It's 834
>Still reading tomes instead of calling magic directly from your blood

That doesn't change a thing. The way these fuckers dodge ain't natural.

>I cast water breathing
Hope that works on blood, because any thief worth his salt is gonna stab you in the throat before you can flood the room.

The real answer is to use hold person and then blast him you idiots.

>pseudo sorcerer
Get the fuck out

Also hope he's just a regular Thief and not a Spell Thief.

dont you have the pockets of actually successful people to pick and mooch off of?
go back to /r/

So guys I specced into necromancy a while back, but wasn't I supposed to get a "summen sucubuss" spell after 400 years of training? By how many centuries did I just fuck up?

>spending years learning how to hide
>not spending those years learning how to do literally everything

I can hide if I want to, and if I want to I can cut a guy in half, and if I want to I can blow him up with fire, and if I want to I can summon a devil to eat him.

Why the fuck am I splitting my gold with the rest of these fuckheads? They're redundant.

Oh, right, cause gnome ass tastes like honey.

And dont' even start with that druid shit. Give me a month and I'll have a spell to turn into a bear, and it'll be way better than anything some fruitloop in the woods can do.

You thought manipulating negative energy would get you a demon from another dimension.

I'd say you fucked up on every possible level, but your abortion doctor's pleased as punch that the worst mistake of his career beat the odds and learned how to read.

>necromancy
>summoning spells

You should be taken out behind a barn and shot.

>he majored into necromancy
>he though necromancy turned into summoning
>not major in any of the CEMSTARE

go back to your guild hall, hedge wizard

>tfw mom caught me practicing an invocation

Should I just end it now lads?

I'm totally okay with this. One of my best friends makes golems, and he's a much better person than any of the wizards and sorcerers around.

>Invocation
>Being a filthy warlock
Yes, yes you should.

>wizards talking shit like they own it
The weakest link in absolutely any magic is the fact that a human (or another sentient of choice) has to cast it.
Remove that, and you've got a stable, safe, reliable magic-casting automaton that doesn't even need a mana charge, because it can siphon prana from the surroundings.
Checkmate, casters.

t. artificer

Alchemy posters are the worst. It's not even real magic!

I'd agree to a new board if it'll keep you lot off my experiments!

/Some/ of us actually /want/ to produce effects our fellows can replicate for the betterment of their own lives!

Don't lie we all know you just want to make love potions and steal our women.

You clothes are now blue!

SON OF A BITCH I LIKED THESE ROBES

It's both, you unambitious fuck nob.

Who m/a/ here?

Like you had any to begin with.

Damn that Kirisame bitch, bringing a bad name to Wizards everywhere by getting caught for petty theft. I hope in a few hundred centuries she's forgotten.

And get like REALLY stoned, poison our enemies and sell snake oil to rubes. Why waste time transmuting lead to gold when you can turn swamp water and urine into gold?

>that pitiful size of the witch hat
You're like a baby, watch this.

Everyone knows that the witch's hat is indicative of her magical ability, while her breasts size is indicative of her "magical capacity". You seem to lack in both.

Some of you guys are alright.
Don't go to the temple tomorrow

>>fighters, barbarians and knights have shared /mar/ forever
This. I've got to deal with knaves and uncouth barbarians and yet I hold my tongue. I believe some of these /w/izards are cry babies. By the way, I'v been working on casting a fireball through my lance (using it as a medium, similar to a staff or wand) and I've been having some trouble. Any pointers? Before you ask, I have been able to do a cone of cold like this without problem.

Witches must be smug above all.

>implying
That's the modern witch propaganda.
"Hurr durr, we're just as good as the classic witches!", bah!

There are only two acceptable kinds of witches: kindly hags and seductive bombshells. Both of them have one things in common. BIG. WITCH. HATS.

Think again fuccboi.

Worst taste.

Again,
>implying

Witches are known to be motherly. That's one of their essential qualities. Even the evil witches like Gruntilda are motherly in a twisted "evil stepmother" kind of way.
And there are two types of mothers: "MILFs" and "too old to be MILFs", i.e. hags.
Therefore, there are only two acceptable types of witches: bombshells and hags. Children and eternal lolis need not apply.
It's not like it's rocket science, mate-o.

Maidenhood and witchhood go hand in hand. Used goods propaganda can go and stay go.

>Maidenhood and witchhood go hand in hand
[citation needed]
Maidenhood is the domain of priestesses, not witches.

Nah friendaro. In most cultures the acts of magic are reserved to either woman who are still "pure" or ones who have gone past their fertility age.

Well, there was this fuzz about witches getting their power from selling their purity to the Devil or something, so I get where he's coming from.

>the acts of magic are reserved to either woman who are still "pure" or ones who have gone past their fertility age
Yes, and?
>women who are still "pure"
Priestesses.
>women who have gone past their fertility age
Witches.

>106 moons since the great demon wars
> still hasn't summoned a succubi
>still hasn't cucked a greater demon
Liches get out.

Back to /pl/ with you all.

It kinda makes sense that they have to steal power from male wizards.

Alchemy is one of the Three Parts of the the Wisdom of the Whole Universe. Alchemical knowledge is vital to attaining mastery of theurgy so you can make spirits your bitch. You can't split that wisdom up, everything is connected. "As above, so below" and all that.

Thrice-Great Hermes would be ashamed of you putting toxic board culture ahead of merging with the Universe and becoming God. If you want to spend your time shitcasting then fine, but some of us are trying to Ascend here.

Don't you mean MASSIVE MANA RESERVES?
The soft & bouncy kind

One concern I might have is fireball I'd a radius spell so there's almost no way to avoid hitting yourself with the backblast, as opposed to come or cold which is directed

Oh, cool, I appreciate it.

I was really regretting going for green. I think blue has a much more classic look.

The hags have the sagging kind, so no. But, yeah, a flat witch is an oxymoron.

>Being a slave to carnal pleasures and base emotions like pride.
Enjoy your time in the abyss friendo, maybe I'll pay a visit when I transcend into demilichdom.

>all these fools with their petty fireballs and talk of witches
>Meanwhile I'm working on constructing a perfect flesh golem to fulfill those base desires
>And an intelligent iron golem I can teach to create more golems and thus begin my army
>And a few dozen intelligent asshole swords to leave around for those pleb martials to get them out of my hair
Get on my level

>he doesn't even leave a few dozen magical shotguns lying around
>he doesn't just make some more when the previous ones inevitably go missing
pleb with the sense of right and wrong

>An intelligent iron golem I can teach to create more golems
[ROBOT UPRISING INTENSIFIES]

Shotguns are just horrible weapons when I can cast a cone of force for the same effect, as for "right and wrong" I don't know what those are, I tried summoning an eldritch abomination last week and it cleared out everything in the area except my floating tower, was nice, but now those martial faggots are at my door and it's rather irritating, so I'm just giving out dickhead magic swords so they fuck off.
I said intelligent, not willful, this one has a wet noodle for a spine and does whatever I ask without question

>Does whatever I ask without question.
That how it starts, yes.
I won't stop you, but for the sake of not inconveniencing other mages on the same plane as you, please exercise caution.

What you think I'm not supervising it's willpower and wisdom? He's the perfect servant

Well, far be it form me to hamper the intellectual pursuits of another mage. Besides, the worst case scenario is that your research gets set back a few months while the non-mages deal with the fallout of an army of golems out of control.

Well they'd be dealing with that anyways, why do you think I'm making them?
It's always been my dream to see a physical version of shitposting, and this golem army is going to make that a reality while I watch from my tower with my perfect flesh golem filling my carnal desires.

And then I'll come in, clean them all up, and put them to real use fixing all the shit in this kingdom, take over the throne and put golems in administrator roles, filling out all the paperwork we need to run this place right and making a utopia

Three thousand years I've planned this, mastered my magic, and now it's all coming together

>Train chi magic for years
>Share knowledge and techniques with other students on the /qi/ board.
>Mootwo spergs out and moves /mus/ out from /mar/ and thrown them into our board.
>The resulting shitstorm breeds a new type of shitposters, who overthrown the entire place.

>/qi/ is a complete shit.
>The few of us who haven't looked for other places have been reduced to /qig/

Life is suffering...

That's why I try to use it for sieges, against flying individuals (fuck you Sir David and your fucking pegasus), and the usual peasant mob when they get all uppity about taxes. My problem more comes from the fireball either go off before hitting said targets, or the fireball drifts downwards. Maybe I should just stay with the cone of cold.

What in the Abyss did you just imply about me, you feeble-minded trickster? I’ll have you know that I graduated the top of my class in the Imperial Academy of High Arcana, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Elvish territory, and I have over 300 confirmed Counterspells. I am trained in Abjuration warfare and I’m the arch magus of the entire Imperial Artillery. You are nothing to me but just another conjurer of cheap tricks. I will wipe you out with exactness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Plane, this I swear. You think you can get away with spewing insults to me over the Crystal Ball? Think again, prestidigitator. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Arcane Tricksters across the Empire and your magical signature is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, you illiterate amoeba. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, novice. I can teleport anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my cantrips. Not only am I extensively trained in magical duels, but I have access to the entire library of the Academy of High Arcana and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable existence off the face of this Plane, you little peasant. If only you could have known what esoteric retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have cast Silence on yourself. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you god-forsaken fool. I will cast fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, novice.

Well there is only one place I focus my chi, the crapper

>Using chi magic
>Instead of blood magic

>blood magic
>Literally offering your life to some other entity so they do your work, rather than just ordering them to do so.

I think there's board for those retards who can't into real magic and just play pretend all day while sitting around a table and throwing dice and cards, but I don't which one is. /x/?

Either way, go back there, or from wherever you come from.

Thou explain, friend?
(U wot m8)

You're supposed to use it as ritualistic paint to create scrolls or use it as a mana pool for yourself.

Or carve runes into yourself.

Semi-serious discussion here: in more traditional magic systems, blood magic (also called red magic) is closer to voodoo and other animistic beliefs. Basically, the practiser offers blood as payment to receive some favour from the entity he's worshipping. Usually, this blood is drained from some animal (the animal is expected to die, obviously), but there are some traditions which drain blood from humans, without actually killing him. Aztecs used to do this.

Blood is supposed to contain the essence or life force from all living beings, so offering the blood is a symbolic way to offer the most valuable thing (life itself), and from there it came the traditions of signing something in blood (think on devil pacts and stuff), or the vampires (given they lack life, they have to steal it) and even today there are people who employ blood as part of magic rituals.

I suppose you use mana like a peasant.

Wizards are cowards and sissies. Clerics are based. Druids are weirdos. Everything deserves DUES VAULT!

t. /pal/

>Fellow /mar/ poster
My bother in arms

>Casting magic with a lance

What are you, not righteous enough to cast divine magic?

Go home /pal/

/pal/ must monitor all boards for signs of evil

That sorta talk gets a wizard pansy smited!
>this post is clear of evil
Carry on my lawful neutral friend.

>Forgot warlocks.
>The Half-elf glares at you, Disappointed.
What's your opinion on white necromancers?

/pal/ was created to keep people like you out of other boards (primarily /mar/) and annoying all other boards so go home.

>/pal/ can't keep its shit on its board for many years, even though we at /antipal/ have long been almost exclusively on our board without spilling out like a bunch of spastics
Some things just never change.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you are are newfag not a troll but don't ever mention necromancy or necromancers to /pal/ EVER.

WE WUZ HIGH ELFS.

t. TES Orc

>Assuming I'm not part of the divine righteousness that is /pal/

>SMITE AND CLEAVE
>this post is free of evil
You're still a heretical piece of shit. I'm watching you chaotic neutral
>/antipal/
>ever relevant
Laughinggods.scroll
No, not at all. I appreciate hearing about all things necromancy, especially in person. I would most definitely love to catch up and discuss more necromancy in a more intimate environment. Why not come down to my interog-...guest room.

>white necromancers
aren't they basically arcane clreics?

>He wears armour
>He begs for some magic display from some Higher Entity.

I bet you still use some kind of arm rather than your bare hands.

It's Sar-elam's remembrance day, Worship the true god of magic.
A god amongst men.