That smug munchkin that makes a trip/disarm/grapple build

Hard times man, here have the cover of Heroes Unlimited to gaze longingly at.

>players that make stat blocks instead of characters
>players that make a high Int build, but forget everything so the game devolves into sending them notes and then rolling Int once they forget those too
>players that treat every point of damage like they get sent in the negatives
>players that make stupid joke characters in serious campaigns
>players that make dead serious characters in joke campaigns
>Alfred
>players that ack metaplot questions and expect them to get answered
>players that ask spoiler questions and get angry when they aren't answered

>Players who take restrictions and then get mad when they come up in game

A player in the Traveller group I'm in always abuses anagathics so his characters always roll out of chargen with a large spread of skills that are high enough to allow him to basically no-sweat a game.

It wouldn't be so bad if he actually had to make the debt payments and such that was actually required, but then again that's the GMs doing.

>players makes a character
>on paper have a range of abilities that are effective in a wide range of situations
>only focus on one ability that is sub- par at best
>"I'm not effective here. Cater your adventures to me"

No, shut the fuck up. When I can grab your character sheet and play your character AS WRITTEN 20x better than you, the problem is not your character. Apply some inkling of intelligence or creativity to your laundry list of abilities and you'll figure out that if you at least try you can do all sorts of shit.

Goddamn this fucker makes me so mad.

>busybodies
Players who feel like their job is serving as the party's own Internal Affairs Office. In my experience the biggest That Guys aren't the Chaotic Random douchebags but the power-tripping Paladins.

>bunker players
Players who don't actually give a shit about the game or the other characters and spend every session fucking off on their own to build up some kind of business empire. These people are always unbearably paranoid and focus solely on building up wealth so they can build some kind of impenetrable bunker or other glorified life insurance policy.

Fucking hell

>bunker players
Wew I've met that guy too.

Holy shit this
If you make a Daniel Jackson translator in a Stargate game, don't fucking while when ANYTHING ELSE ALSO HAPPENS

FFS you are not the star of the game for starting a lexicon of foreign languages.

>That player who decides they are going to "fix" something in the campaign, usually by killing another character or destroying something important, then instead of admitting that they just wanted to fuck with the game they indignantly defend their actions any time it comes up.

>it's
>what
>my
>character
>would
>do

You aren't the only ones either lads, a player in my group pretty much refuses to play a non-arcane caster.

Also, from my experiences:
>Players with "chaotic neutral" as their rogue's only character description. Cunt routinely steals half of all loot he finds before distributing it.
>Players who act as the leader and makes plans that never reflect the party composition, in this case plans requiring an entire stealth party when he's the only stealth build, then blames us for the plan's inevitable failure.
>Players who constantly ask unimportant questions during other player's turns, then says they're confused and don't know what's going on when they're finally up.

I hate players.

People who can't stand a few seconds without browsing some shit site like funnyjunk or facebook.
Man, just because it's not your fucking turn, don't stop paying attention completely.

I really don't want to ban cellphones because I don't mind people taking calls at the table, but don't fucking use it to browse the internet steve you fucking faggot

How do you even play that? Everytime you encounter alien, everyone has to wait for you to translate every little word?

>They want to play superheroes.
>All talk about superpowers.
>Roll random powers on that one wiki for laughs.
>They all make a powerless sub-par Batman.
why

I'd say unenthusiastic people who put minimal effort into the game but expect to be entertained anyway. They're gonna hop on Facebook until the DM institutes a no cellphone policy, they wont even skim through the rulebook beforehand and expect all the rules to be taught to them in play, they wont bother coming up with a backstory or reading up on the setting the game will take place in.

I'm not talking about dense stuff either, just simple requests like "before we start, skim through the PDF to get an idea of the tone/setting and have some goals for your character."

They expect to show up, put minimal effort into a team based game, and get rewarded. Some of them just don't know they're doing it, and they'll come around once they know it's a problem. Other people are lazy shits though, and there's no point in keeping them around.

Agreed. Cut them the fuck loose.

>>players that make dead serious characters in joke campaigns
This isn't bad unless they go full no fun allowed. Having a straight man can really enhance the comedy because of the contrast between them and the goofballs.

Murderhobo characters that never negotiate because "Muh alignment"

>Uhh yeah my character is a war veteran mercenary without friends or family or anything connecting him to anyone.

Maybe he's been burned too many times by GMs that insist family members be butchered/raped/used as living batteries for the Evil Guy's toaster oven of souls?

One of my players actually did that pretty well, I think. His family was slaughtered and his smithy ransacked by a band of gnoll marauders, so with nothing better to do with himself he took up the mercenary's life.

I plan on dropping hints in-character so that his character realizes that resurrection is possible, and the party will hopefully bite to go on a "loyalty mission" kind of thing to revive his beloved wife.

It's only bad if it was arbitrarily forced. If a character failed to protect them and bad things happen, it's fine.

If you're an adventuring type and you start uncovering a great conspiracy that sacrifices people to a demon lord and intend to have a go at overthrowing the king and you're married/ have relatives, you should be making sure they're safe by covertly moving them to a secluded village or monastery. If you don't, you get what you asked for.

Hi

>Players that make fight-optimized characters just to force other players to do what they want instead of regular arguing.
>Players who can't play around their fails, specially failed dice rolls, and keep bitching about it for days.
>Players who can't separate characters from themselves.
>That one particular person who build every character as basic rogue class if possible, and than nags about his character is useless in any situation. Dodge, ranged attack and stealth is everything that any person needs.

>Players that make fight-optimized characters just to force other players to do what they want instead of regular arguing.
Don't forget the opposite though
>Players who make high charisma characters and then try to roll diplomacy against the party

A good DM will shut down both of these things, though.

>Players who can't play around their fails, specially failed dice rolls, and keep bitching about it for days.

fuckin' hate that shit

>basic rogue class if possible, and than nags about his character is useless in any situation. Dodge, ranged attack and stealth is everything that any person needs.

To be fair, you could say that about any specialized build. At games I've played in, I've seen at least the following.

>Ranger focused on hunting beasts in a setting known for jungles. 70% of enemies are humanoid, 20% are outsiders, and only a smattering of the last 10% are actual jungle creatures.
>Rogue built for scouting. Not built for combat, sneak attack, or anything really fighty. Enemies don't have patrols or configurations for him to scout out and warn the party about (Basically they just stand in inexplicably-impassable rooms in the arrangement of the next encounter), the only loot is physically on the enemy's personage, and any extra info gained from scouting ahead is either useless or misdirection.
>Fighter built to fight spending six sessions doing literally nothing because we're at court trying to do the political dance to win the duke's favor. His character has no want to be there (but can't leave), his stats are too shit for him to help on the big checks, and the npcs he could try to rp with want nothing to do with him.
>Paladin in a game with 0 undead
>Bard. Party face type. 3 sessions in we were sent into a dungeon full of monsters and spent 7 or 8 sessions there.

Sometimes people have all the information and build shit characters. Sometimes they have no information and make a character that doesn't fit the game. And sometimes the dm is just shit at making a game that incorporates all of the character's strengths.

You shouldn't have to make your character be able to do everything in an rpg. That defeats the purpose of working as a group.

>playing 3.PF
There's your problem.

...

And this is why so many players remove family from their character's backstories.

>Play high charisma character
>GM starts pushing me to resolve all party disputes, flat out telling me it would be in character for me to do this
>Even encourages me to roll against the party
>Aside from me the party members are an edgelord, two ends justify the means sociopaths, one extreme moralfag and one normal person so disputes happen every thirty seconds

>What players do you hate?
Players who clearly are not interested in playing with a party, and are just looking for their OC to get jerked off.

>>players that make stupid joke characters in serious campaigns
>>players that make dead serious characters in joke campaigns
Many of the most memorable characters across campaigns are either the idiot who scrapes through by a combination of dumb luck, and a skilled player, or the character who keeps a straight face when the chicken-infested commoner/Druid channeling the elemental plane of chickens sets fire to the horde.

>making general assumptions on zero evidence
and there is yours

>Player makes retarded murderhobo
>Gets warned that this campaign will have heavy social elements
>Player insists on murderhobo.
>Player exudes butthurt when murderhobo is unable to properly socialize, and gets left behind while the other players go talk to someone, because murderhobo keeps fucking up.

>that smug munchkin that makes a trip/disarm/grapple/rape build.

People who use stupid weapons and or duel wield.

That's what he expected if the party, yeah. He's a twat.

Just can't handle others having the spotlight at any given moment

May be late to the party OP, but throw giant spiders/centipedes at your trip munchkin. There's rarely a dungeon where you won't have an excuse to mix these beasties in!

>Players who can't play around their fails, specially failed dice rolls, and keep bitching about it for days.

So much this. Have a couple of power gamers who despise the true-random dice rolls of an online system. "I don't get 18-20 as much as I do with physical dice!" Gets me thinking if we can have a game in person again to bring at least one dice tower.

People who think that stupid weapons or dual wielding weren't used.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE STOP USING THINGS THAT MY POORLY CONCEIVED NOTIONS OF PSEUDOHISTORY LEAD ME TO THINK WEREN'T USED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Session 2 the entire party gets bitten by radioactive *insert creatures here*

Problem solved, the adventures of wolfkin, trouser snake guy, the red cockatoo and the indestructible cockroach!

>DM surprised we killed off an NPC who ceased to be of use to us once we got to a remote location in an evil campaign

>Player's character has a three sentence backstory.
>Character never engages in the story or interacts with NPCs.
>Getting them to roleplay I'd like pulling teeth.
>Player constantly complains that none of the story arcs involve their character.
>I've given up trying to get them to do more than show up and pay attention long ago.

I do hate this so very much.
> Anyone that gets upset over other characters having some spotlight and/or players that try to force themselves into the spotlight constantly.
Also
> Players who can't separate character/player knowledge
Yes I did murder the spooky as fuck mostly buried, starving, rabid dog. Yes I was almost certain that do that was going to unleash a fucknasty murderdog spirit. My character on the other hand, is a local law enforcer from a tiny town who just saw said spooky dog bite the naive young visitor from one of the country's major powers that's currently in my care. Of course I kill the fucking thing.
Hmm. I still seem to be salty about that one...
> Players that can't get into character/don't have a character to get into, especially when they expect to be spoon fed answers to personal questions.
'You need to make a derision.'
'I don't know what to do.'
'Well what seems like the choice your character would make with the information they have?'
'I don't know, what's the best option?'
Makes me want to projectile vomit blood with the force of a fire hydrant.

All that said I'll forgive this stuff to some degree in new players and try to help them work through it. But in those that know better...

what am I missing with the bait. I've seen this pic once before (un-edited) , what is it supposed to be and why is it bad?

see
You just want to play a videogame.

More of "Don't want to play a family murderfest" for the seventh fucking time.

How about, hey, not using families or friends as plot sacrifices 90% of the time?

>that player who, in a story and dialogue heavy game where PC decisions have lasting consequences, decides to play some experimental build specifically designed to break the game's balance and puts zero effort into actual personality development
>that player who thinks he's being sooooo clever by willfully misinterpreting a rule to try and turn an otherwise innocuous combination of abilities into a gamebreaker
>that player who earnestly believes caster supremacy is normal and the way things should be
>that player whose characters always have his exact views and beliefs on politics and religion and sexuality and never ever deviate even a little
>that player who treats every point of damage or wound their character takes as a personal insult from the GM
>that player who thinks taking some damage means the fight is unwinnable or way above their power level

>players who fall asleep at the table
Had one. Did it every session. Don't have one anymore.

What drives a man to set their adult schedule to a six-hour block of time once per week, and then spend it sleeping?

players who are in just because his friends are:
>I DON'T WANNA FEEL LEFT OUT
>I'm bored
>did a really uninspired character he doesn't bother to roleplaya s much as others
>ignores the PC who is his PC mercenary partner/friend
That guy whined when two PCs stopped him from punching another party member
>WOW MY CHAR HAS SOMETHING TO DO AND YOU GUYS STOP ME FUCK YOU
Also the fact these fucks are sooooooooo into pokemon is enraging, I love pokemon just as much but i'm burned out of playing PMD-style campaigns, I wanna have high fantasy, urban or cyberpunk adventures WITHOUT POKEMON

>joke characters in serious campaign

I don't think I've never NOT had this happen. Is it really too much to ask that you don't roll up a "lolz let's go drink at the tavern" character when your in the middle of the FUCKING APOCALYPSE?!

I'm not sure about players, but DMs who are willing to turn back time or retcon shit to undo major consequences are spineless scumbags and they immediately take any threat or danger out of the game world by doing so.

If you do this or have done this, fuck you.

>that player who remakes the same character over and over again across dozens of different campaigns and settings
>that male player who does that, but the pet character is always a girl who has sexy misadventures
>he gets legitimately upset when you tell them to come up with something else for once because everyone is fucking tired of seeing that character in every goddamn game

Christ. I shouldn't be surprised that his hobby attracts this particular stripe of autist, but it still frustrates me that I have to deal with these people.

>that player who, after twelve sessions and fourteen battles, still doesn't understand how combat works
If ever there was proof that you don't need to be smart to enjoy nerdy hobbies, this is it.

I've never once pulled the Dead Family card as a GM. Two of my players are terrified of writing any family into their characters back story, despite the closest I've come to endangering them was in a Shadowrun game.

>One character gets ID'ed on a botched mission.
>Team realizes that characters family now in danger.
>Characters family has no idea what he does for a living. They think he is a salesman, when in fact he is the team's infiltrator.
>Cue a stressful family dinner with the character trying to distract his folks and older sister from noticing the gun fight with a hit team outside then making sure they made it to their flight on time to a month long, all expense paid trip to a resort town in Cuba.

>Players who use TVTropes and speak in tropes constantly, even ICly, capitalizing them every time like we're supposed to fucking know what they mean instantly
>Players who are any kind of hybrid race
>Players who constantly bring up rules when it benefits them
>Players who pick a moralfag in a generally grey party and end up dead weight
>Players who play as the opposite gender and can't pull it off at all women are the worst with this
>Players who use the same 2 character names over and over again and only play one type of character

>Players who use TVTropes
Jesus CHRIST

In some campaigns?

Yes.

....you sly son of a bitch

Well played.

Say what you will, it's decent enough to learn the stereotypes and shit to build a good character.

But then there are people who act like it's a godsend and needed to define all actions in a story, instead of guidelines on how they work.

>The guy who plays Black Crusade and acts like a normal human.

Hell, the website even says it, tropes are tools and building blocks, a starting point to be aware of common storytelling facets. Tvtropes is a website dedicated to cataloguing those tools and building blocks, run by Tumblrite cuntbitches. The second you elevate Tvtropes above that is when you become a massive fucking dipshit.

>makes a broody/reserved/quiet character
>responds as such to literally all interaction
>other characters run out of things to say/proddings
>player gets shitty they're not being interacted with

>makes a sarcastic/unfunny/bitchy character
>everything gets an eye roll or rude comment
>other characters run out of patience
>player gets shitty that they're being ignored/left behind

>makes a chaotic stupid character
>plays out fucking predictably
>player gets shitty like consequences are an affront to them

>doesn't respond to offers of help

Quoting them out of context still makes you sound like A Massive Fucking Tool.

the ones that throw dice.

Mass Effect Andromeda will be so terrible

some BODY

OK I'd kill for that situation to come up with my group. Nope. We're going to hang out is all 4 corners of the base and be edgy

rip

True Seeing son. High level Outsiders usually have that as a constant effect or at least at will.

>but the group is too stubborn to learn or play anything else.
This. This is the type of player I hate the most.

>That Guy has to be the strongest in the party
>And the fastest
>And the smartest
>And the stealthiest
>And the charismatiest
>But not religion, because they're too smart for that
>And not magic, because that's unrealistic and dishonorable
>Can't be healing either, because that's a job for the naive and foolish
>Also don't talk to me, unless its about payment or killing
>Their plans are the best plans
>even if it means jumping knowingly into combat while the rest of the party is asleep
>and if things go bad they're fleeing

To be fair, they're getting better than they were.A lot better.
But some days it's two steps forward, one step back.

You don't get very far like that~

>players that ditch the session at the first sign of a party or social gathering somewhere else
>asks why you never invite him anymore

>New DM is a pushover at chargen
>lets two players be sisters
>Also weretiger assassins
>With crazy unchecked bonuses
>Trivializes all encounters
>One time, we get jumped by a large ogre at camp
>One leaps at the ogre unarmored
>Gets her absolute shit kicked in with one swing
>I CAN SEE THE DICE SAYING SO
>She should be dead
>DM lets her live
>Couldve solved a huge problem since the beginning
>Also created a player drama with her sister living through it
>"I dont let dice to decide whether players die. Just bad decisions."
>LEAPT AT AN OGRE UNARMORED
>FOR FUCKS SAKE

God I was so pissed. I still am. Fucking god damn.

>zero evidence
Every single one of the posts they quoted had obvious references to D&D, why are you fanboys so retarded?

God that movie was shit, what in the fuck happened to Simon Pegg?

These things together really get to me, especially when they get the nerve to be pissed at you for not explaining. Fuck man, you had a week or two to get your shit together between sessions. Hell you could have done it in the session with all the time you're on the fucking phone.

Eventually, you stop gming only to come back months later with a new party and same problems like a batter wife.

Players who think they are in WoW. Fucking cancer.

>why don't we have a healer?
>we NEED a healer
>someone play cleric
>please
>we NEED a cleric
>why is nobody playing a cleric
>okay now we need a tank

THIS AIN'T A VIDEO GAME, NIGGA

DO YOU SEE A THREAT METER? A FUCKING ENMITY BAR? A HATE METER?

MY HATE METER FOR YOU IS GETTING PRETTY FUCKING FULL

Figure, you could've used this image instead

Yeah, fuck this fucking trash

Thanks, I'll use that next time I get an opportunity to make that joke

Damn, that's a good one. Borrowing that, friendo

No problem mate, not mine though. It's an older image that was appropriate for the situation. I too understand the fatal mindset player's have. My answer to this is buying your restoratives at a holy place or an alchemist. Not every party needs a cleric, they are a commodity.

Thank you, teir one and two and can be cool and fun if you limited save or dies, and cheese. Honestly a mix of disables and damages spells can work and not break things if balanced right.

God forbid someone make something out of the ordinary, and do it well.

He grew beyond your mediocre tastes.

God forbid you form a functioning, traditional adventuring party.