Your party find this book in a dungeon, what do you do with it?

NO! Use a carrot first, or a stick, or something else, to check if it bites or has a sphere of annihilation in the mouth or some other sort of trap. That's adventuring 101.

THEN take turns getting bookjobs.

also don't forget to place a sock upon the cock, in case that thing has the power to create homunculi or something.

god damn it.
reasonable /d/ has appeared

My party does not find the book because it's not made of gold, nor is it something we can actively kill. Your move DM/OP.

Just beacuse it's cover is made of human skin doesn't necessarily mean it's evil. Just that it was written by an evil mage. Evil mages will put human skin covers in any books they can get their grubby hands on.
Grimoires, magic tomes, unholy books, holy books, cookbooks, fiction books, history books, their diaries, other peoples diaries (without their consent).
No sense of right and wrong, or esthetics.

Just hot glue it until the book accepts its fate.

Well the process of creation (i.e. putting human skin on it) is evil enough for it to be removed. Plus, no chances. I would know for certain a holy book would not have the skin of a sentient on it.
So it's either neutral or evil (better safe than sorry, so divine smite and lots of fire is coming its way)

Just sell is to a wizard organization.

Whats the worst that could happen?

Oh I also forget, it also seems to be magic production plant as well, so you probably could use it to fuel your spells or something.

If the wizard organization was reasonable, nothing would happen. Nothing bad at least.
But judging by OP's direction, the wizard organization will be completely incompetent and now you have a brand-new BBEG fuuuuuu

What if it is a paladin's skin, and that force of personality turned it into an intelligent item? Only giving the knowledge within to those who would use it for good, or to vanquish the one who scribed it?

Or has supernatural STDs. Mummy Rot in the cock is a fate worse than death.

That's just what any experienced Veeky Forums adventurer eventually becomes. Even the paladins. Especially the paladins. Everything is okay, as long as all involved give consent. I know, I am usually a paladin

Eh, still evil. Go fire, warhammer, and divine smite at the same time.

what if the paladin was skinned alive by an evil wizard to do that though, and the item is inhabited by his personality after going insane during the torturous skin removal process?

a little rot grub hidden inside under the tongue!

In the end, it's fairly well known that skin on book is evil. And probably the paladin was already falling to let himself get in such a position.
After a certain point, it's really more of a mercy.
SO GO FIRE, WARHAMMER, AND DIVINE SMITE

What if the iten is not sentient, or even magical. Just an ordinary cookbook with human skin covers. Not even cannibalistic cookbook, normal everyday cookbook.

What's this, what's this? A tiny little book?
What's this? Let's give it to the cook!
Oh my, the eldritch horrors keep on spawning,
And it never will be dawning, what is this?!

There's a book we shouldn't've opened,
When the cook was making bread,
Now the tentacles are flowing,
And it's filling me with DREEEEEAD!

Ouch!
And that is why the rogue that checks for traps gets the "honor" of getting the first bookjob. To see if he really found all traps.

You, i like you.

the mutter museum in philly has a good collection of those.

That would fuck with a party's heads. They'd probably fixate on how exactly "frying the spinach in gravy" or "a cabbage farce" relates to the BBEG's plan.

One of my characters would be adamant about either destroying it, or turning it over to the church to be destroyed. The other would be making dark deals and trying to get whatever arcane secrets he could out of it.

In either case, it doesn't matter, because my capering idiot party mates are already reading the book/rubbing their crotches on it to see what happens for lulz.

YOU DESCRIBED THE THREAD
NOW LEMME DESTROY THE BOOK

shouldn't we give the skin a proper burial or something at least?

Dubs of divine justice demand it.

Fire *is* a proper burial to the right mindset.

DEATH IS A PROPER BURIAL
CAUSE IT'LL DIE BY FIRE
CREMATION THEY CALL IT
LIKE THE MAN SAID
INDEED IT DOES

NOW SMASH THE BOOK IN FIRE AND HOLY POWER

I actually played with a wizard in an evil campaing who did this. He would skin dead enemies, make covers and rebind random books. Then put those books in other peoples libraries. Threw suspicion on on a lot of people, even got a noble killed once. Never did it on his own books, that's an obvious sign of evil, after all.

Went well my barbarian who collected skulls from dead enemies. Had a magic bag just full of skulls by the end of the campaign. Was fun.

MR.PALADIN WHO NOW HAS A LOCKED CAPS LOCK MUST LEAVE THREAD NOW

PURIFY THE BOOK, OTHER HOLY JUSTICE PEOPLE

PURIFY BY FIRE!!!!

(i might be slightly off the rocker)

That's not a sure thing.
Human skin sucks as a leather, it's thin and shiny, not to mention the gross out factor, but many religions have used it as a material for binding books.
That's just some retarded ritual shit, unless they go out of their way to sacrifice people to harvest their skins... Then that's pretty much evil, cut and dried.

Alright, alright, you did get dubs of justice, the book shall be destroyed.

After everybody has had a turn with the bookjob.

Well seeing as how I'm a cunt I wait until they rest in a relatively dangerous place and then I make it scream, interrupting there rest so they don't heal or gain spells AND attracts a hoard of enemies. Roll initiative and try not to die.

What about a book of a Paladin's life and his wisdom bound in his skin by his request to give the book divine protection or something? Is that evil?

how do you go about making the book scream?

At least one of my party members tries to stick his dick in the mouth of the book. They are not the brightest.

Huh. That IS a real thing. Neato.

>a fate worse than death.
...and then death!

It could be enchanted with a magic mouth spell, or it could be an intelligent item with the ability to communicate.

If ya want to be a real cunt, be a sneaky cunt and provide your own magic mouth set to scream without you being near. Pretend it's the books fault,but also say the book is important to the quest, so the party has to carry it around. Also find a way to sleep enough to regain your own spells.

This, of course assumes you're a wizard or a cleric of a particularly cunty trickster god, because who else would want to be such a cunt?

So is there any book rule 34? I think I have new fetish.

...

Demonbane.

Damn I wish I could read.

My character couldn't bother checking for curses and starts reading.

The bright wizard shoots it with fireballs after the Empire soldier dumps his powder horn all over it.

...

leave it right where the fuck it is, because I have the common sense merit.

>The book only bites on the third bookjob.

My character is a dirty slut for forbidden knowledge, imma read it.

i like those odds

we secretly place it in the suspected cult leader and lure the guards into his home.

This way we got a influential PC arrested and executed.

It later turned out he was one of the good guys,only being hostile against us because he was secretly working on destroying the cult.
But our party realized this only weeks later, when the actual baddies could succeed in their plan.

in the suspected cult leaders place*

Have it as a party member.

Imma read that joyously

If its sentient waifu it. If not see if I can fuck it. If not burn it.

Lewd LoL is so 2016
We Overwatch now

you love it

now whats in that damn book?

I'm ready to rock some knowledge

Where does Ed Gein's stuff fall on the scale, specifically when he'd dig up corpses for skin to make stuff with?

Kill a bunch of kids for the sake of coolness.

put a mouthpiece in and fuck it

but is it the greatest cool?

>Now the tentacles are flowing
>And it's filling me with DREEEEEAD!
>filling me

Guys...from the look of that face it looks underage girl. You are pedos.

I just asked one of my players.

"I'd stick my dick in it's mouth."

fml

oglaf.com/booklove/

>Caring if a book mouth is legal or not
You must be new here

wheredoyouthinkweare.jpg

Woah woah woah, what if your just a vain mage who wants to be remembered in death by being immortalized as your passion.

AKA, having your flesh used to create a spell book.

>Zaldor the Warlock from Accounting benignly puts a human skin cover letter on his TPS reports. Totally not fucked up though, he's a cool dude.

Well my most reckless player is illiterate......

>Give to wizard
>Wizard identifies it as the weeaboo necronomicon
>Burn it because it is weeaboo