Co-worker asked me if I Catan, said I've never tried so he invited me over tomorrow to have a game with him & his gf

Co-worker asked me if I Catan, said I've never tried so he invited me over tomorrow to have a game with him & his gf.
Any tips?

Take some time meditating in preparation to strengthen your aura before the game. I'm sure they will appreciate it.

Openly say to everyone that you never played. If you happen to play with anyone with just about any experience, they will show you all the cooperative strategies.
Because this game is always best played in cooperation with at least one other player. Preferably a secret one.

If they seem reluctant during the orgy, don't take a turn in her pussy.

have fun.

Don't be surprised if your coworker turns out to be a bear in disguise or that you can bisect an entire knight wearing ful plate.

Huh? This isn't like an erp game right? I'm pretty sure it's a kids game. He just said there'd be vampires or something but Im cool with that

Isn't this some pasta about a submissive girl being made into the board itself?

Make sure you've got several sizes of dog collars and leashes; sometimes the small ones don't fit.

Catan or "Catan"?

Well, there is just one question really. [Spoiler] Do you Catan?[\Spoiler]

I hope you got sheep...

>Don't be surprised if your coworker turns out to be a bear in disguise or that you can bisect an entire knight wearing ful plate.

Only good post in a tryhard thread besides this post, obviously.

Be sure to use a coaster.

...

Be sure you have a good table for the winner to keep.

Aura strengthening is also important.

Simple, build more roads

The digits don't lie.

Don't place your civilization where you would most likely get ransacked or get less resources what so ever

...

Yes.

Ok, this is very important. First step, find someone you know that plays Catan, and practice a lot! Best to make sure that person doesn't know the bf/gf couple, it will be more of a surprise attack that way. Download the digital version and play that when your training partner is busy/sleeping. Read up on strategy guides when possible. Ok, now for the important part: Humiliate the boyfriend. Crush him completely, deny any semblance of hope in his eyes. As you do this, start some kind-hearted banter with the gf [DO NOT GO TO FAR WITH THIS, YOU DONT WANT TO BE SEEN AS ARROGANT]. Highlight all flaws in the bfs' strategy, sometimes venturing into real life attributes (Example: "You roll that die weak dawg, do ya even lift!? LOL"). Scoot your chair a bit closer to the gf at this point, try to make her "accidentally" brush past you. Contact is important for the romance. By now, you should have cucked this guy into oblivion and have possibly gotten the gfs' phone number to text future hangouts/"play sessions"

Is this a pasta?

No, I wrote it myself from boredom