Oy! Lissn up ya grots! Only orks is 'lowd ta be in dis talky thing!

Oy! Lissn up ya grots! Only orks is 'lowd ta be in dis talky thing!

please squat us already because i can't take this suffering any longer. I cannot make a list that can defeat Guilliman for the life of me

Roit 'O Nob 'Ead!

Jus a remoinda dat Mork iz best

NO! GORK!
Don' be sad! Daz not how a ork git iz supposed to be.

The Ork's purity of heart never ceases to amaze me.

They're too innocent in their own weird Ork way.

Take a looted Girlman
>to fight monsters, we created monsters...

Cud Ghaz take dat beaky boss inna foight?

You'z roight

But lately I found mygob wondering about Fork

Oy! You weedy git! Orks can't never lose cause deys always comin' back for anuvva go! Get stuck in and don't be komplainin'!

Wot da zog iz Fork?!

I's 'erd it's Gork 'n Mork's lil bruvah wot got krump'd Inna 'ed too many times. Now 'es more dodgy th'na weird boy. S'what I 'erd at least.

Sod off. I bet yous softer 'den humies or dem gray 'eds

You are what you eat.

40k is imbalanced ptw bullshit, but ORKS IS DA BEST TING ABOUT IT

>ptw bullshit
Oy, lookat dis teefless grot

What in The Emperor's name is going on here?

...

rattle ra....Er.....Clank clank

Oi, does da dakka kount if it's lots o' dakka goin' real quick loik, or iz it da 'mount of dakka dat gets dakka'd in da end dat matters? If some grot tellz me dat 'is little dinky blasta that can dakka faster dan one o' dem zog off 'uge stompa kannons 'as more dakka, I'd laugh, den I'd smash 'im.

Iz boff ya dum git!

...

Ya gotta dakka fasta AN louda, ya git! If it goin' quick=loik but quiet dat ain't no good! 'Ow wud dey know dey wuz bein' dakka'd uvverwise?!

We believe you arent here, just thought id let you know before i go back to canceling you out.

So your not

Ya gits didnt see me reply ta nuffin.

He was a ork, once, bretty cool boss ta 'ave around, big, green, mean and wif a 'ead full of flowin ded shiny squig-hairs; I dun know wot da zog 'ppened ta him but he was last seen swimmin in da warp after a tentacled void-thing wif dat big fork-prodda of him; my ol boss told me he became the little god of zeafarin, farzeein and zoofarin when I was a yuff.
I thought my boss' ead was full of drops becuz he never xplain'd how he did became a god or how he knows about him if he'z never been seen since dat time.
until he hit me in da gob dat iz.

...

Da warboss iz dead!

No 'ez not! Iz da warboss now!

Er, boss, I fink one of the weirdboy is off 'is face again.
'Es talkin' to gitz that ain't there.

Really? I z sayin dat shootin 'im is the best option
>BLAM!
There, dats it.

Now i'z the warboss now
>BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Ay, boss! I been think'n. What if we all shoot eachotha at da same time? Den we'd ALL be da warboss then. Right?

Nah, den we'd all be DED!!! Dats why you leave da finkin to da brainboyz, ya grot.

>shootin' gits to try bein' warbossy
Everyone knows you get yer choppas out for krumpin' yer way to warboss.
Look at this grot and laugh, lads.

Oi boss, I'z ben finkin', why'z da 'umies got gunz wot'll dakka a planet, but we ain't got none of dat? I fink we shud get some'a dat dere rok-killy dakka, so we'z can 'ave da biggest dakka!

How do you do, fellow Orcs? I too enjoy shooting guns and yelling.

reddit the thread

*in ork
Ghazzy loses to Guilliman easily, even with 2++

/tv/ is waiting for you

Wot yer doin', ya git!
*BONK!*

>SHLKINK
The orks head falls down to the floor, and his comrades are shot
ANY QUESTIONS!

We'z need'z bettah engineers! You! Ya need to kidnap humie engineers, and 'ave 'em make big dakka guns.

I'z gettin' roight on it boss! I 'ear da system dem mek-'umies call "Rizer" or sumfin 'as plenty of doz boyz!

Good! Dispose of dem bodiez in da mincemeater.

I'z also needin sum tau git tanks.

He ain't brutal or cunnin'. 'es just mukkin 'bout.

Oi roight! Oi 'erd 'umies 'ave da Deffstrike Rokkit Launcha! Zoggin big, I tell ya!

I loike 'ow dis git finks!

You boyz fink we'z should start a Waaagh! wot'll go 'cross space, pickin' up da biggest dakka der is, and maybe some good foight's along da way, so we can 'and it ova to da Meks, and make sum dakka wot'll be even bigga an' louda dan anyfing out der now?

'es! YA GITS ARE THINKIN, COME! I'Z HAVING MY SHIp!

Jus make better ork tanks, ya grot.

YEAH! I'Z BIGGA DEN YOU'S SO I'S DA BOSS!

EAT IT YA GIT!
>SUDDENLY, YOU ARE BURNT TO A CRISP AND SHOT BY A AUTO-BOLTER

>tellyportas behind yous
>Gets out me choppa
Har har har, nuffin personnels, grot.

>tfw no codex for each ork klan
>tfw no gretchin army supplement
>tfw forever npc race

>Gork 'n Mork bow to Fork
>In contak wiv brainboyz
>Pozez wierdboy powa'
>Boss of da' warp wiv a orky fist
>Boss 'o citez n' teef deposits galuxy wide
>Direkt spores of the ancient old un line
>Will build the first WAAAGH!s on humie boy home (Fork will be be the first WAAAGH!)
>Boss 'o all da mek workshops on Armygeddon
>First mega-gargants will be Fork megagargants
>Fork said to hav 215+ smart points, such cunnin' has only existed deep in blud axe tribes & Beast WAAAGH!
>Old snotling scriptures say Fork will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of eating utensils wiv
>They own doc labs around the WAAAGH!
>You hav Fork spores in you now
>he learn'd hi gofic in under a week
>Ghazgul entrust his shiny fing reserves with fork
>Fork very old
>In reality, Fork a timeless ork ekcisting all the time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know his plans yet. We hope they’re benevolent beings.

ey, can I press da big shoiny bu'on dis toime? On a nuvva note, 'ow many engines do ya fink we'd have ta strap onto a planet to get it movin' all rok-lokie? Just, eh, fer askin's sake, heh.

Lots o' engens. Bigguns too.

The Orks on the bus go ORKS ORKS ORKS.

naw, ghaz looses ta dem goldie boys, da beakie boss got da power ov da WARD be'ind im.

Do ya fink 'umies make good fuel fer engines? Dat way we'd neva run outta fuel so long as we'z keepin' on Waaagh!ing

Da Ward iz mad scary stuff, I 'eard 'es da boss o' dem panzy goldie boyz.
O' course dey do ya git!

Dats sum smart stuf roight der. Iz you a mekboy?

Yeh, woz on me way ta grab some loot when I came across dis talky fing 'ere. Glad I'z run inta sum boyz wot look loike deyz know dat a Waaagh! ain't complete until you'z got some snazzy new dakka.

OI GITZ! WOT'Z PROPA CRUSADIN COLOURZ FOR ORKZ? I'S GONNA SPREAD DA WORD OV GORK AN MORK!

Green, cuz orkz iz green, an' orks iz da best!

RED! It'z da fastest so you'z gonna spread da word o' Gork 'n Mork real quick like!

I just 'ad annuva idear. You'z gots ta paint it every color! Red so'z ya go fasta, blue so'z you'z luckya, green ta show you'z da best, black ta show you'z da 'ardest, and yella so... ehm...

So'z... you explode all big loike and da uvva's won' dakka you'z!

BLACK! It's da 'ardest color, and Orks are DED 'ARD!

Blu, it's da luckiest!

I've often thought Ork subspecies would be interesting, given how varied fungus is and Orkoid fungal genetics.

*not existing intensifies*

PURPLE! So dat way yoo can spred da werds to all da gits we cahnt see!

Other ideas from someone who can't aford this stuff:
>Burnas with oily squigs as fuel tanks, trunks attached to the back end of the hose.
>Stompas with big metal jaws whose canines are actually tank AP shells primed to explode upon impact. This counts as a power klaw. A gretchin can be partially seen outside from a near gun barrel, ready to reload the "close combat weapon".

>Gork 'n Mork bow to Fork
DEY DO NOT! GORK 'N MORK IZ DA BIGGEST AN' DA STRONGEST, AIN'T NOBODY BIGGA DAN DEM! YOU'Z MAKIN' DAT UP!