Pull out of Bajor

Bajor didn't make the Cardassians leave. The Federation did.

Something happened to make the Cardassians really worried about what would happen if they got into a serious fight with a faction that didn't build dedicated warships.

Well, it's not alone, look at the Cardassian flag and tell me that's not a stylized version of a weird spoonhead vag. and then try not to think about that time the Cardassian chick thought O'Brian was hitting on her, and was into it.

"Dedicated warships" is kind of a meaningless distinction when everything from the Galaxy-class to the piddly science ships has enough firepower to glass a planet, General Order 24-style. Just cuz they don't call their ships warships doesn't mean it's a good idea to get in a fight with them.

This. I would rather fight any two Klingon warships over one Federation "science vessel". At least I know what I can expect from the Klingons. There is a 50/50 chance that, years from now, a I'll be able to read a research paper full of words I don't understand that details how the fuck the science vessel beat me.

Implying future/pol/ wouldn't approve of how the Based Bajorans dealt with Skrreea rapefugees.

>implying the Federation doesn't have its head entirely up its ass about what Starfleet is
It's a bunch of space boats with a military hierarchy. That's a Navy.

And then there's this bit of wisdom from Quark, about humans.

youtube.com/watch?v=-D2SHNqkjbY

The decline of Ferenginar is legit sad, even though/especially since it's moving towards a not shitty place to be.
"Valiant" was straight up someone's idea of what a producer might force on them to do as a shitty backdoor pilot. It's like a CW Star Trek show.

It's symbolic of the average Bajoran.

because it got penetrated by that Cardassian snake dick

MUH SIXTY SIX GORRILLION BAJORANS

This seems relevant.

I really want Star Trek polandball

Cardassia did nothing wrong

>star trek campaign where every PC is a member of an antagonist race in a civilian ship
>cardassian
>romulan
>klingon
>reptilian Xindi
>Orion

Non-Trekker here. Why are those two rubber-headed gentlemen wearing jockstraps on their heads? Did Kirk trick them to make them look like assholes or something?

I've seen this a few times but that last part always cracks me up.

>macgyuver is equivalent to vintage horror to vulcans
This one's really good.

Probably. That's exactly the sort of thing he'd do.
youtube.com/watch?v=B2TkUFw9t9g

we actually had a very short campaign like that. I was a Romulan "cargo specialist" (assassin) and the other two PCs were an Orion pirate and a Cardassian.

It was pretty fun and the GM came up with some nice challenges for us. We had beamed up a sample from a wandering planet and as cargo specialist I went down to supervise. It turns out it was gray goo from a planet that had wiped itself out, so we had a whole shipboard adventure dealing with that.

I would have wrecked her spoon poon so hard it would've been the Battle of Wolf 369 if you catch my drift user.

Do you catch my drift?

user?

I'm talking about having sex with a quite fertile female.

The part that always gets me is
>but why
>CUZ THAT WOULD BE FUCKING SICK

>What is the word "fuck" for," the innocent young Vulcans want to know. "Surely the are more logical intensity modifiers."

>"Yeah, you think so," say the weary jaded Vulcan professors. "You'd really fucking think so."

>Our assignment was to build a phaser emitter and my one human classmate built a chronometric-flux toaster that toasts bread after you've eaten it."

Makes me howl every time I read it.

That episode with the space sailboat really was WEWUZ in space. I loved O'Brien's reaction in that episode
>O'Brien: [is skeptical of pre-warp Bajoran space exploration on engineering grounds]
>Kira: You sound like a Cardassian - always trying to tear down any achievement made by a Bajoran!
>O'Brien: And you sound like a Romulan - always claiming any progress that could be made, you did it first!

That's mainly because Starfleet is completely braindead and can't decide if they're pacifists today or not.
Kek

And you *really* don't want to fuck with what they *do* call a warship.

"People who are starved, tortured, and in constant danger react negatively to those things."

No shit, Quark. Not exactly profound, nor is it some kind of moral indictment against humans.

>it exploded twice as fast
Hahaha

But the fed does have war vessels, they have since the war with the Klingons. That war turned into the galaxies example of why not to fuck with the pink skins

And yet they can't build a warp core ejection system that ever actually fucking works.

"We need to eject the warp core!"

"Warp core ejection system is offline!"

Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

>Have a cousin who looks and sounds exactly like you somehow and is an evil prick even by Cardassian standards
>Grow ridiculous facial hair so people won't think you're him

I've got a trekker friend who's like to point out part of the reason federation ships (and humans) are so batshit is because they're made of technology cobbled together from multiple races who had a centuries long cold war. Vulcan engines, Andoran phasers, human chassis, whatever fucking race invented the holodeck - the humans just fucking spot-welded them together because why not

I'M AN ENGINEER DAMMIT! I CAN WELD ANYTHING TO ANYTHING!

They duct-tape their warp cores in, of course they can't eject them

The engines are purely human, actually (that's a pretty big plot point of Enterprise). Vulcans appear to have given them tractor beams and maybe, later, weapons. Shields come from the Andorians (at least in one alternate timeline, but I don't see why they wouldn't in others as well). A species called the Xyrillians is the most likely source of the holodeck.

The Empire builds a ship that can blow up planets. They call it a "Death Star" and put it in the middle of a battle fleet.

Starfleet builds a ship that can blow up planets. They call it a "mining vessel" and leave it lying around with the keys in the ignition.

>oh no space terrorists have gotten hold of our purely peaceful research torpedo that melts all organic life on a planet, how did that happen

Stardate 8130.4 nevar forget

>it would've been the Battle of Wolf 369 if you catch my drift
>Battle of Wolf 369
>369

kys

>indictment

I don't think that was the point.

It's just an escort.

I don't know as it's an indictment so much as it's an observation that humans are deceptively violent when the other aliens don't necessarily know very much about their history.

>completely braindead and can't decide if they're pacifists today or not
It's not so much that, they weren't pacifists, then they got so far ahead they were pacifists through superior firepower, then the Borg hit them and the federation basically suffered a category 500 chimpout and aren't pacifists any more.

>a category 500 chimpout

Reminder: The Genesis weapon was a terraforming tool that also happened to be an Exterminatus device that couldn't be countered and could be installed in a Klingon Kia-Of-Prey. Combine that with the 'Fire a torp while cloaked' trick, and you have tiny, five-man cloaked vessels that can kill planets and be built by the hundreds. Imagine what *literally any other power in the quadrant could have done with that*

>and be built by the hundreds

Well, assuming the Genesis device itself was mass produceable. We don't really know what kinds of resources went into making even one of them.

Depends. If the Federation warship isn't crewed by a main cast crew, my money's on the Klingons. Stealth and Boarding Crews really are an advantage.

>How can there be war crimes when there hasn't been a war?

Still the best DS9 episode.

Plus AFAIK the guys who made it fucking died.

If Star Fleet applied half of the things that they have they could burn the galaxy.

Consider the phase-cloak.
Now picture the sub-space transporters.
Stick a warp drive on it.
Give it a simple intelligence.
Now give it a stock pile of nukes

Now make a fleet of them

Now fire it into the blackness with the mission to remove population centers that aren't UFP.

It can beam nukes into city centers and military installations from light years out. It just cruises out at warp too-slow-to-compromise-stealth and only decloaks for the brief time it takes to nuke a world to the stone age or extinction. Then it finds the next target. And the next. And the next.

It's a wall of death expanding outwards from the UFP at a steady and unstoppable rate. There is no out running it. There is no reasoning with it. It is death hand it will never ever stop.

If the Klingons knew anything about Earth history and knew what Star Fleet keep locked up in the basement they would know that the wars they fought was humanity with the kiddie gloves on so as not to damage their quetsy ickle wickle dainty forehead ridges.

Shit, you don't even have to go that far. Every goddamn starship could theoretically beam down massively powerful bombs payloaded with the ship's own matter/antimatter fuel to basically anywhere, so long as the shields are down.

That's always been one of the holes in Star Trek.

That dainty wee gunboat packs a mean suckerpunch.

>Now make a fleet of them
Actually, you just need one. Starfleet has already demonstrated von neumann technology.
memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Self-replicating_mine

You trying to make the galaxy uninhabitable? Because that's how you make a galaxy uninhabitable.

Let's be honest here, Star Trek's setting is as holey as a saint.

So it's more like "Humans are as tough as anyone else" instead of "Deep down, humans are violent monsters"?

Or "With other races, what you see is what you get. With humans, their default civilization is a thin soap bubble veneer over an angry ape that will tear your throat out with its teeth".

Yeah, but well, schlock has a charm all its own.

Threadly reminder that Kira's hostility made her look like a massive whore to every Cardassian in existence and they all though she was madly in love with Dukat.

Every Starfleet officer on the station no doubt had been given a cultural briefing, they just didn't bother to tell Kira because they thought it was funny.

I don't know much about Star trek at all, other than enjoying DS9 quite a lot when it came out and watching some of Voyager for the Doctor, but never being able to really get into the rest outside the movies.
But here is a question: There were a whole bunch of wars in earth's past, right? Apparently pretty horrifying shit going on. Khan and all that.
Has any of that been ever explored? It seems pretty interesting, especially how other races would react to it, and reminds me of 40k's intriguing Old Night.
Pic unrelated, it's the only Star Trek pic on my machine.

the federation has no real military

The Federation has what are widely considered the most capable ships of the line...except they don't have cloaking technology thanks to their treaty obligations.

But a Yamato-class battleship rocks virtually anything any other power can muster, usually two or three of them no sweat.

I know virtually nothing about Trek and I know this.

>literally no ground forces at all
>One time they needed them starfleet just sent some dudes with phasers
How the fuck does this happen?

>written by idiots
Ok.

>Steamrunner
>Lightly armed
In all references to them in beta canon (the only area where we get their loadouts, as alpha canon never talks about them much), they're torpedo boats and pack a ludicrous arsenal. Clearly, someone didn't know much about Trek beta canon ship design.

There is no ship in Starfleet designated the Yamato-class. Please try again. Perhaps you mean the Galaxy-class, as the sister ship of the Enterprise-D (the most famous Galaxy) was the USS Yamato? /stg/represent

They also didn't know much about the military, fighter aircraft, and naval vessels.

Oh are we pretending the video games don't exist?

except that one time on voyager when they ejected it and it got fucking jacked

I generally don't care about STO, but you are correct in that STO has a Yamato-class, named for the USS Yamato and functionally just a Galaxy-X variant. Apologies for neglecting it.

This is why one of the few things I liked about Enterprise was the MACOs. The MACOs were actually pretty fuckin' operator.

>Our assignment was to build a phaser emitter and my one human classmate built a chronometric-flux toaster that toasts bread after you've eaten it."

>Has any of that been ever explored?

not really? ENT does a bit with augment soldiers but its still set 2150's rather than 20th/21st century events

Yes , actually.

Not canon

can someone explain to me what did the helmets do anyways?

I fucking love the Miranda refit.

I also love (some of) the fan designs for the Miranda class in the OS style.

>Before you call me a nerd, I watched an episode of Star Trek 18 times.

Hmm

I've always had a thing for old equipment that's kept upgraded/relevant and continues to serve.

Look at that sexy beast.

If only I could be in a tabletop game set in TOS Star Trek.

Or their bizarre choice to make manual overrides that need power and/or computer control, therefore defeating the purpose of a MANUAL override. Fuck's sake, design a system of clamps that kick the warp core out of the ship when they lose power for longer than a minute, if you can spare five minutes of not bouncing a charged nadion pulse of multispectral hypergravitons off the main deflector dish.

even if you do that, they'll be "fused" and not even operable mechanically

I think that was the point that series got good for me.

Also gerrick was great.

>Because they WERE clean!
Fucking chills.

Explain

Name?

Duet

They basically showed up later in the show as essentially the NX-01's tactical team. They actually moved like trained military or SWAT entry teams in action, used cover effectively, and even carried flashbangs. Also taser nightsticks.

>Something happened to make the Cardassians really worried about what would happen if they got into a serious fight with a faction that didn't build dedicated warships.

Because the Cardassians already lost a war against the Federation before.

This. It was the offscreen war that resulted in O'Brien regrettably making his first kill.

Regretfully. There's nothing regrettable about it.

That's just another way of saying "Deep down, humans are violent monsters."