Stat Thread

Stat me Veeky Forums.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=b89d1oip7WM
cnbc.com/2017/03/16/trump-border-wall-construction-mexico.html
nytimes.com/2016/09/15/us/politics/pam-bondi-donald-trump-foundation.html
npr.org/2016/06/08/481284335/texas-governor-linked-to-trump-university-fraud-case
washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/09/01/trump-pays-irs-a-penalty-for-his-foundation-violating-rules-with-gift-to-florida-attorney-general/
abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-foundation-gift-florida-attorney-general-pam-bondi/story?id=43928225
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

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+5 bad thread
+10 con artist
-10 competence

You must be new here.

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Cool.

/thread.

Trump feels more like a THAT GUY PC than anything.

Putin would be the BBEG, but nobody is fucking taking proper notice of his plothooks.

>Invades Crimea
>Just get's sanctions and sternly worded letters
>Essentially states to the BBC he would murder his own Grandmother to achieve glory for the nation.
>Does little more than raise the eyebrow of the foreign correspondent talking to him.
>MIGHT have interfered with the American elections.
>Nobody cares

It'd be like if the BBEG threatened the land but nobody cared, so he just spends the next 20 years waiting for anybody to actually attack his lair.

Meanwhile British Politics appears to be one of those comedic RPG games, where everybody is hilariously incompetent.
Camerons player rerolled as Theresa May and just started min-maxing and abusing the browbeating and intimidation skills left right and center. Bojo's player is still somehow knocking about being the true comedy character of the party, and the guy who was playing Gove had to leave because his mum arrived earlier than expected.

This kinda.

Still, Trump's player is a lot better than the dude who rolled Barack. Thank god the party finally ran his ass out after he generated such a terrible lawful evil character.

EU is the FLGS that has the insufferable attendants that make gaming there shit; however there's no other place really to go until Britain, the wealthy local DM, started threatening to invite people over to his house and ordering stuff off the net for people because of the bullshit markups and rules.

Decades of globalization create a massive global underclass which elites rule over with an iron fist. The future is a hellish landscape of red tape and corporate debauchery. The planet is rapidly heading into a global ecological disaster, sea levels are rising (despite fossil fuels being banned in western countries) and drought is consuming arable farmland. Infrastructure is starting to break down, most major cities no longer have regular trash collection, highways are filled with potholes and trains don't run. The blue helmets find themselves increasingly isolated into their joint bases and suburbs, which now resemble castles more than anything else.

The game begins outside of Cincinnati, where a failed painter decides to take matters into his own hands. After 3d printing a gun he and his comrades decide they are going to resurrect the state of Ohio (which is now folded into a greater Great Lakes Metropolitan District).

Events include:

1. Liberating Kelleys Hill recycling facility, which overseas the vast dust bowl/landfill that used to be Lake Erie.
2. Siege of Global Robotics Inc's Akron Assembly, giving the rebels control over many automated security bots, trucks and a tank production plant
3. Liberating the Elkton Detainment Center, the UN prison for the region
4. Liberating the abandoned subway tunnels underneath Cincinnati, presently being used as greenhouses
5. Siege of Columbus Government Center (where the statehouse used to be, presently a giant brutalist concrete mess used by the UN)
6. Liberating the abandoned subway tunnels underneath Cincinnati, presently being used as greenhouses
7. Siege of the Cincinnati Government Center (where Union Station used to be, presently a giant blue glass cube)
8. Siege of the Freedom Bank Tower in Cleveland
9. Stealing the biological weapons buried underneath Wright UNAFB outside Dayton
10. Liberating and reprogramming the Northeastern Telecommunications Exchange, which causes all the remaining automated UN security in the region to be friendly while disabling UN-operated weapons within Ohio. The facility itself is a giant concrete block located outside of Portsmouth.

>putin
>BBEG

Confirmed for pleb; not even aware of the jewish problem.

I remember being fifteen.

>Intelligence •
>Wits •••
>Resolve•••

>Strength••
>Dexterity•
>Stamina••••

>Presence•••••
>Manipulation••••••••••
>Composure•

>Cleric or Paladin of Kek

CG Old Male Human Expert 6
Str 12, Dex 8, Con 16, Int 20, Wis 20, Cha 20
Iron Will, Negotiator, Skill Focus (Profession: Businessman), Leadership
Appraise 14, Bluff 14, Diplomacy 22, Gather Information 16, Intimidate 16, Knowledge (Architecture & Engineering) 14, Knowledge (Local) 14, Knowledge (Nobility & Royalty) 14, Profession (Businessman) 17, Sense Motive 16, several other skills at 1-3 ranks give or take

Unironically this

Is trump a demon prince of tzeentch?

If we're going like that, then French Politics is a bunch of players who have gotten sick of the game a long time ago and are now actively sabotaging it, but the DM keeps the game going out of spite.

>ND Chess
>Worshipped by wannabe wizards and paranoid warlocks obsessed by conspiracies and plots
>Unironically presents himself as a harbringer of change
>Promises to drain the "swamp" of his political opponents
>His country's symbol is a big bird

Do you even have to ask ?

I would totally play this, sounds like a pretty cool setting.

CHA should be higher, Trump minmaxes the fuck out of that one. Could probably lose the Architecture and Engineering skills too, unless you fluff them to represent hiring people who do know that stuff.

Probably should decrease wis a lot, int should be somewhat lower as well. Increase Cha to compensate.

>decrease wis a lot
Why? It's not his power stat, but he's pretty good for that.
Int is fair though, he's the type to delegate that stuff rather than deal with it himself.

Mov 4-4
CC 6
BS 5
PH 10
WIP 11
ARM 0
BTS 0
W 1
S 2

Not armed with anything, produces an irregular order.

>CHA should be higher, Trump minmaxes the fuck out of that one

Eh, I'd instead say that his supporters have less than average wis and/or no training in Insight.

Corbyn's player is the one new guy trying to take it seriously, but is incapable of dealing with the others hijinks

Tbf, if the bbeg wants you to do a thing, do you really want to do it?

I don't know, user, he's fulfilling his promises so far. I'm more than satisfied, this is what I've wanted.

> lol deplorables amirite?

This desu famalam

Look, it's okay. Everyone gets bamboozled from time to time. No need to be upset, just accept it as it is, learn from the experience, and try to do better next time.

Shouldn't Trump get some overpowered ability that allows him to reroll multiple times? Or maybe he gets no "perfect 20", instead he gets "perfect 15 or higher". Or maybe some shounen-hero like ability that makes his chances of succeeding higher the lower the projected chances of succeeding are.
>1.6% odds of becoming president
youtube.com/watch?v=b89d1oip7WM

Look. I don't have to show you my character sheet. I've already got top people looking over it, and they've told me that what's in it is perfect.

I mean, strength. Trust me, I've got lots of strength. I can do anything I put my mind to. Not many could say that.

Dexterity. Some people say I've got low dexterity. WRONG! I'm the most dexterous, everyone knows that. Those who say otherwise are haters.

I don't know what this is?

Intelligence? I don't need intelligence, they don't need to brief me on that.

Wisdom. I've got the most wisdom, the best wisdom. After all, I ran a business.

Charisma. Have you seen my daughter?

Everyone knows I'm High Class, everyone knows that.

My hit points? Maximum. I'm healthy, almost too healthy, but that would be bad. I'm in great shape though, my doctor says so.

My gold? I thought we agreed not to talk about that.

>I don't know, user, he's fulfilling his promises so far

[x] put Hillary Clinton in prison
[x] Build wall with Mexico

What other promises am I missing that he's fulfilled so far?

Health care reform? Seems like it's going to go through without a hick anyway.

Oh, and don't forget draining the swamp.

>[x] Build wall with Mexico
But he's doing that.
cnbc.com/2017/03/16/trump-border-wall-construction-mexico.html
Even a Mexican company wants in on building the wall. If things continue as they are today, the only promise left unfulfilled is to lock Clinton up. And who knows, given how LOW ENERGY she is, she might die before Trump's first term is over.

>Health care reform? Seems like it's going to go through without a hick anyway.
I don't think you're reading the same things I am. The right-wing media is tearing itself in half over whether they want to call it Ryancare to distance Trump from it, or complain that Trump is just pushing Obamacare 2.0.

Plus,
>muh 24 million

How the fuck is 24 million people losing health insurance "health care reform"?

>>BBEG
Elon Musk. Not yet, but I'm calling it. That man is one personal tragedy away from building enormous battle robots.
>Disciples refer to their leader as a "God Emperor" who slew an evil deceptive sorceress and usurped her throne.
>Disciples worship a prophet named KEK who is depicted as a little green frog that foretold the rise of the God Emperor through repeating digits at the end of post numbers on Japanese anime image board.
>Disciples believe that they are taking the high ground even though they are trying to bring and end to the world as we know it.
>The God Emperor wants to exile all who he feels a threat and silence all the dissenters and those who oppose him.

>I would totally play this, sounds like a pretty cool setting.
Typical Veeky Forums. We turn troll threads into serious worldbuilding settings. Probably borrow a lot of inspiration from Flashback Dan Simmons but without the titular drug.
The story begins on January 20, 2024 in Texas as a small group of resistance fighters emerge from a bomb shelter shortly after a nuclear Holocaust has taken place to scavenge for supplies. The earth is scorched from nuclear hellfire, sunlight is heavily blocked out by thick nuclear ash/pollution and the rain is now acidic. The resistance fighters are scavenging the ruins of Dallas, Texas when they are startled by a loud screeching "REEEEEEEEEEE". They are ambushed by a pack of mindless green frog-like mutant cannibals. They try to fight off the cannibals but must flee due to being heavily outnumbered. The resistance fighters begin to migrate south towards Mexico because they are unsure whether or not Mexico was nuked during the nuclear holocaust. They are stopped by the sight of the titanic impenetrable border wall built by the God Emperor that survived the nuclear explosions. Fear creeps up the resistance fighters spines when they realize that the wall wasn't built to keep prewar Mexicans out but to keep postwar Americans in. Hundreds of "REEEEEEEEEEs" can be heard coming from a distance behind them...

"Reform" doesn't have to mean "good" just look at the Protestants

Colonist (Entrepreneur) Picked up a second spec in Politico

Sapient Toupee
Str 1, Dex 3, Con 8, Int 4, Was 7, Cha 20
HD: 3d10
Feats: Manipulator, Misdirection
Drawback: Compulsive Liar
Skills: Bluff +8, Diplomacy +5, Sense Motive +1
Special: Can attach to the head of an individual during a grapple, forcing them to make a Will Save DC 11 or be Dominated as long as the Toupee remains in place.

>enormous battle robots.
surely you mean undetectable plague-carrying air-borne nano bots

But even that was good from the Protestant's pov. Unless you're one of the few people rich enough to benefit or are profiting off of healthcare, which 99% of Trump voters aren't, why the fuck would you want this?

Obamacare had plenty of problems, don't get me wrong, but this solves none of them.

1/2 is a failing grade, especially when hes using taxpayer dollars to do it. Also talk about his other "promises" like health care.

The wall itself is fucking stupid. ~50% of illegals come over by plane or boat legally and just never leave when they are supposed to. Building a wall isnt going to stop anything.

>Invades Crimea
He was securing the fleet base. If it wasn't for ukranian chimpout, russia would not give a shit about crimea.
>Just get's sanctions and sternly worded letters
No one gives a shit about ukraine. Seriously.
>Does little more than raise the eyebrow of the foreign correspondent talking to him.
Why would he care about foreign media badmouthing him? He can't fight it, so he chooses to not care, like a sensible person.
>MIGHT have interfered with the American elections.
Wasn't it already stated that it was CIA using russian IP's and shit?
>Nobody cares
Because russia is mostly irrelevant?'

He's more of a dwarven king kind of guy, no one gives a shit about him and his kingdom, until humans need help.

>1/2 is a failing grade
Not only didn't he only make two promises, but he's been in charge for three months. You don't hand out grades 3 minutes after the test has started.

You do after its been twice as long as he said it would take him to do it

>The Mall of America is powered by generators and the entire mall has been filled televisions playing Shadilay and the Trump Never Come Down remix all day and night. Constant religiously fueled orgies of white people. Outside is a massive plantation worked by blacks and latino slaves and the Walmart Supercenter down the street is where the High Priests of the God-Emperor reside interpreting his will through mystic traditions.

Because now families won't need to pay $21,000+ per year in health insurance so the poor don't have to pay. Before Obamacare I was paying $7,000 per year.

I'm tired of /pol/.

Just have fun during the discussion, you fucking nigger. It's way better than every single of those fucking "slutty armor elf what do" and "I want to play a sissy trap" threads.

I'm tired of democrats still REEEEEEEE'ing over Trump being president and refusing to accept that Hillary lost.

it goes both ways

If I wanted to have discussion on politics, I'd go to /pol/, where it's supposed to be.

People like you are why this board is utter shit nowadays.

Rolled 12 (1d100)

I predict this thread to turn into pure shit and arguements that will go on until bump limit.
Rolling

...

At least those are even remotely relevant to Veeky Forums.
Not even supposed worldbuilding can save this shit thread.

And I say supposed, because the actual worldbuilders were all driven off by idiots like the people in this thread.

>How the fuck is 24 million people losing health insurance "health care reform"?
Because now they have "access" to health care as long as they can afford to pay for it themselves.

You can actually polish a turd. Literally and figuratively.

You can't make this board better by introducing /pol/.

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>08 Figher
>09 Warrior
Literally what is the difference.

Fighters fight on their own terms. Warriors fight for causes.

>Unless you're one of the few people rich enough to benefit or are profiting off of [TOPIC], which 99% of Trump voters aren't, why the fuck would you want this?

Check it out, it's American politics 101. However, by pointing out that poor people are doing themselves a disservice by voting for [PARTY A], someone will get upset and call me a shill for [PARTY B].

Here you go

I'm pretty sure I'll benefit because before Obamacare I was paying about $6k a year on health insurance. Now I'm paying close to $15k for the same coverage every year.

>discussion on politics
no one is discussing politics here, people are just having dumb fun, you stupid nigger.
>People like you are why this board is utter shit nowadays.
Then fuck off to reddit, Veeky Forums will be better without elitist cucks, bragging about "muh old Veeky Forums", which was mostly as shit as it is now, if you didn't know.

>At least those are even remotely relevant to Veeky Forums.
They are as relevant as this thread.

>because the actual worldbuilders were all driven off by idiots like the people in this thread.
You need to get a degree to be considered a
writefaggot nowadays? People still create fun stuff and have worldbuilding threads.


Stop being a bunch of stuck up cucks and learn to have fun.

And soon you'll be paying 20,000 a year for it because you're not rich.

The problem is for all the shit they give others, they can't take even the smallest slight against them. They're completely unable to laugh at themselves

The AHCA results in fewer people with health insurance because it gets rid of the mandate. That way, if you don't want to get health insurance, you don't need to buy it. That means fewer people with health insurance since people aren't forced to buy it anymore.

>I'm tired of democrats still REEEEEEEE'ing over Trump being president and refusing to accept that Hillary lost.

What does that have to do with people making threads about cars on the cooking board

If I thought politics was fun, I'd be on /pol/.

Even the shills at the CBO admit that prices will come down because without obamacare forcing everyone to include everything in every single policy, you'll be able to get insurance policies that only cover the things you actually care about.

>Income and profits go down
>Somehow companies won't try to make up for it by jacking up the rest
>Americans think they have a choice besides insurance and going bankrupt over minor health troubles

Rolled 96 (1d100)

You are an idiot. Your fetish with a coward, incompetent and ignorant puppet makes you as much as a failura as your /pol/ friends. Go back there and suffocate in your own feces.

Do you sincerely believe that this accounts for all of 24 million people? Even if it's a full 50% of that number that simply chooses to go without, that's still 12 million having insurance taken away from them, and that's still fucking horrible.

Remember, if you think a thread is bait or just designed to cause an argument, report and ignore.

Do not engage with them, as that's what they want and all you'll do is bump a shit thread.

I guess Trump would be an exampele of a thrall herd because he could murder their families and they'd still praise his name.

They are only a few steps from wanting him to be king of America and this is after they went off about family dynastys but they are called for one of his children to run next.

So? That's life. There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Surprise, you're the reason life sucks.

...

Pls something fun

He looks a lot stronger than he is because his enemies are all incompetent.

Rolled 9 (1d100)

Wizardhood here I come

What the fuck

>The problem is for all the shit they give others, they can't take even the smallest slight against them. They're completely unable to laugh at themselves

It's a problem with conservatives lacking humor in general. The other day I saw a sticker of Hillary and Obama that said "DUMB AND DUMBER" underneath, and was baffled that:

1) Someone thought this was clever or humorous
2) Someone thought this was clever or humorous enough to pay money for

Maybe it's something to do with those studies showing that conservatives aren't as capable of understanding strangers.

You had to be a fool to think the Electorals would let Hillary in.

Trump is an all around asshole who has no idea what he's doing and is almost universally hated by politicians because everything he does isn't to make changes, it's to stir up some kind of fuss and paint other people as being the issue.

But Hillary had actual legal troubles going on during the election that the CIA or FBI or whoever the hell it was they got to look into her emails intensified, on top of the issues resurfacing from Bill's time in office. Add onto this the Benghazi issues and her less than clean history, and you have a massive legal fiasco if she becomes president.

The most illegal thing Trump did was wait to release his tax info, which in itself is hardly illegal at its worst. Everything else he's ever done has been legal because he can't afford to do things illegally.

Voting doesn't matter in politics, because no matter what they'll arrange a winner and have the popular vote be close enough to call 'fair' and let the media have its field day.

Hillary was doomed from the start, because Trump was somehow cleaner than her.

I think it's just lack of practice. Humor is a skill, you need to work at it if you want to actually be any good. Conservatives usually approach politics from a place of anger, whereas liberals tend to be more comfortable with mixing in humor. Compare Rush Limbaugh to Jon Stewart. Each one fills a similar niche on their respective side, but Limbaugh tends to prefer to make his audience angry, while Stewart wants to make them laugh.

> Everything else he's ever done has been legal because he can't afford to do things illegally.
He paid off two state attorneys general to get them to look the other way when it came to fraud cases surrounding Trump University. He quite literally could afford to do illegal things.

>Millions without access to proper healthcare, only a single injury away from bankruptcy
>"Life is unfair, deal with it"
>Well off assholes have to pay slightly more money in taxes
>"Fucking government stealing my money, it's not fair!"

When did this happen? Didn't hear it brought up in the election?

If you don't have health care, that's your problem. It doesn't justify stealing from someone else who is actually productive. It's called personal responsibility, you should try it some time.

Class: God emperor (or paladin)
His stats are HUGE.
He automatically makes america great again.
He doesn't stop winning.

It's not even humor, but art and creativity in general. Just look at the shit they had to scrape off the bottom of the barrel to perform at the inauguration.

It was brought up in the election. Trump gave money to the Texas and Florida state attorneys general, and in afterward they dropped the fraud cases against Trump University in their respective states. The problem is that Trump's voters simply never heard about it because they ignore all the sources that reported on it.

nytimes.com/2016/09/15/us/politics/pam-bondi-donald-trump-foundation.html
npr.org/2016/06/08/481284335/texas-governor-linked-to-trump-university-fraud-case
washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/09/01/trump-pays-irs-a-penalty-for-his-foundation-violating-rules-with-gift-to-florida-attorney-general/
abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-foundation-gift-florida-attorney-general-pam-bondi/story?id=43928225

When it's an issue of life or death, which for millions it is, I could not give less of a shit about some shithead's idea of theft. That kind of poverty isn't worth saving a little extra cash to buy a new pool, and if you think it is I sincerely hope someone shoots you in the head and actually steals all your shit.

See shit like this is stupid. Yeah Hillary did shady shit, and it's right to bring it up, but when you have Trump proven to do illegal stuff and it's ignored is when you know things have gone too far.

Fuck this country. I'm moving to Norway.

>inb4 "so much for the tolerant left!"