That guy/That GM thread

So, this just happened.

>Playing a 2-shot adventure.
>Trying to rush to get some ritual components together to summon an angelic force to defend a certain city before their defenses are overwhelmed by the force of Evil, demons and the like.
>Our characters had IC ties to the city, because we do actually like to roleplay that sort of stuff, even in short fluff adventures.
>Anyway, we screw up and lose, no angels summoned, city falls.
>GM treats us to the "Bad ending" where we hear about the sack.
>It includes one player hearing about how his character's wife is raped by a zombie under the control of an evil necromancer, because that's apparently how he gets his jollies.

Other urls found in this thread:

docs.google.com/document/d/1SbxQFMfQiMUAu12_j5qOSJNZqExOkWy0L43TzzSU-6A/edit?usp=sharing
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That's a bit fucked but not quite to That GM levels. Did you tell him to chill out with that shit at all?

Oh yes. Which got a "Well, you lost. You're supposed to get a shitty ending."

"We're here to have fun, dude. Chill out with that shit, it's weird."

Seriously, I get that most folks don't like stirring up interpersonal conflict but trust me when I say it's better to just nip that shit in the bud as soon as you can in a reasonable manner. If the dude's acting like a dick then tell him, he's probably not gonna figure it out himself.

If you didn't want your wife to get raped, you should have tried harder to win. That's how it goes in real life.

this

>Get invited by some friends to play with a group online
>Forever GM twists the 40k setting so that his gmpc is the most badass, coolest guy ever, also has a gmpc little sister who is an imperial noble who can apparently order anyone to do anything
>constantly gets smashed drunk while we're playing, several sessions end with him literally passing out at his computer and we have to remind him what happened last time
>eventually lets another play gm
>before the end of the first session he decides he doesn't want to be the player, he wants to be the GM and, by his own admission, intentionally stops roleplaying and tries to actively sabotage the game
>eventually passes out during a session, we continue playing without him.
>this results in his special little sister character getting knocked out and losing an arm, overall a minor thing in 40k
>he comes back next time and finds out, just leaves and then deletes the community dropbox folder we were using to share sheets

The group died after that

Bonus round, though not related to him being "that gm"
>he runs a business where he buys things from comiket and sells them to weebs
>while at comiket he gets smashed and ends up leaving $300 of loli porn he bought for his one collection on the train
>it ends up getting taken and he files a police report, reports it as loli porn.

"for his own collection"
I fucked that up a bit.

Once again proving that Veeky Forums stands for That Guy.

My GM fucking sucks. Every week he makes some excuse about why he wasn't able to prep much, he questions the intention and wording of the simplest rules, and loves to derail the momentum of the game to talk about Star Trek episodes no one else at the table has seen.

You realize the obvious solution is to start running your own game, because it couldn't possibly be any worse, and will eventually be much better?

Unless you're just incredibly lazy.

So tell me guys if this seems weird to any of you...

>get invited to join "5e kind of" campaign
>was described as using 5e as the base rules in a homebrew campaign
>get real excited, haven't placed a PC in forever
>have an idea of character I want to play going into creation (int rogue, arcane trickster)

>get to DM's house for character creation
>DM tells us we can only use certain classes
>includes most base classes, but combines all arcane casters (except bards) into a new class called "mage"
>um...okay
>also includes artificer
>"from unearthed arcana?" I ask
>"Um, I guess so, i'm not really sure what unearthed arcana is" he replies

>tell him about character idea
>he says it's cool, but I can't take arcane trickster
>have to start out with thief archetype, then "move into arcane trickster" through some unspecified process
>other player making a bard, wants to use college of swords from unearthed arcana
>"Oh yeah, that sounds cool, go for it!"

>also limits races
>unusual mix, includes things from elemental evil (aasimar, tritons, etc.) but not gnomes or halfings
>was kinda hoping I could play a gnome for that int bonus, but...elves are cool I guess
>tell him i'm ready to roll stats

>has us use online sheet which has a button to roll random base stats
>doesn't want us to roll dice because "I can roll dice and have it land on what I want, and if I can do it, other people can do it"
>"Okay, can we at least rearrange the scores we get, so I don't get stuck with a low-dex rogue?"
>"Nope! If you roll low, that's what you get! You'll have to roleplay around it."
>"Really? Can I pick my class and race after, then?"
>"Nope, gotta pick those first. But if you pick half-elf, you can pick which stat you boost after you roll"
>gee thanks
>end up rolling lucky anyways, so keep going

(cont)

(pt 2)
>sets up setting, gives us an intro
>he asks us questions, and at the end he gives us a title, cantrip, and spell for our character
>the bard gets "once per battle, whatever you say happens" for cantrip
>I get "once per battle, anything I say crumbles"
>no further explanation, says we can use it however we want
>btw, if you use it, you'll fight really hard stuff that might kill you
>can we use it subtly?
>nope, if you use it, everyone knows about it automatically
>great, so if we use it at all, we get killed. good to know
>the bard's special cantrip replaced one of her starting cantrips

So yeah. Unclear class rules, strange and restrictive character creation, stupidly broken cantrips that fuck us if we ever use them
Also, the lore of the world as he built it required six PCs total. He only ever planned to have at most five players (because he has a habit of playing a PC in his campaigns. no, not NPC, a PC). At the time we made characters, we were looking at 3 players. Also, he only explained the crucial lore of the world which would set us on our main quest to the bard in secret, despite it being integral to how we found ourselves all together to start with.

"we failed our quest miserably, dooming our city to destruction"

"lol we're just here for fun tho bro, why you taking it so srsly its just a game"

People like you ruin the hobby.

>People like you ruin the hobby.

is this a new meme? im assuming its bait but lets settle down here

"You did poorly, so obviously your entire family gets raped."

This is your idea of good storytelling. People like you ruin the hobby.

That wasn't nearly That Guy territory.
Little bit weird yes but nothing more.

>Playing Pathfinder
>Playing Gunslinger
>party gets ambushed by mercenaries
>Mercenary attack dogs circle around the group and go straight for me, the only ranged character
>both in character and out of character I ask the party's tank to protect me from the dogs while I shoot the slow moving enemies.
>He thinks for a moment, scratching his chin
>"oh... uh... my character has his helmet on so he can't hear you"
>and then he runs off to fight the enemy boss in melee while I, the ranged character who CANNOT into melee combat must fight two war dogs in melee.
>"Dude, what the fuck?!"
>"Hey, it's what my character would do. He's wearing a helmet so he can't hear you calling him."
>"We established two sessions ago that your character doesn't wear a helmet because he doesn't want to hide his face from the enemy."
>"Oh... yeah... um... he changed his mind and bought one."
>"Something you never mentioned doing."
>"Yeah," he replies, as I watch him pull up the equipment list on his phone, search for the price of a helmet, and then quickly subtract that from his gold.

Story I posted on a similiar a few days back.

docs.google.com/document/d/1SbxQFMfQiMUAu12_j5qOSJNZqExOkWy0L43TzzSU-6A/edit?usp=sharing

What an asshat.

to most people it was that guy territory mang. a vivid description of your wife being raped by a zombie is in poor taste. More so if you did not set the expectations appropriately in regards to that sort of content.

So what'd you do to get ire from the melee fighter? In other words, tell us the full story.

this guy is a dick
but he's right

nah, people that play games for fun are why the hobby persists.
Sperglords that enjoy rape-endings are not numerous enough to keep a hobby alive,

I know people who are like this about everything, not just games.

They are difficult to deal with in anything more than small doses.

>join a dark heresy game
>essentially warhammer 40k rpg but you play as the bad guys because edgy
>talk to dm he seems okay says this will be a continuation of an old story
>cool so he has experience
>says he had players just up and leave
>figure it was just unreliable people on roll20
>mistakesweremade.jpeg
>party consist of khorn melee marine, preachy chaos marine, alpha legion sneaky marine, one human fighter, the dmpc gurl who can do anything...and me
>figure the team has no utility or magic so go idolotrix magos because it gets both
>the shitshow begins

>The characters lost
>better force them into my magical realm and tell them all about how their family got horribly raped in the end
>this is good storytelling
I hope you choke on a dick and die

>telling people to be murderhobos
I hope you get papercuts all over your hands before you fall into a tub of alcohol.

I hope you experience an excruciating amount of pain equal to when you walk on one hundred miles of legos barefoot without a rest.

>says i cant use demon organ mutation to increase willpower or he'd treat it like possesion
>okay cool plot point
>um...no just put it to strength
>have to droppod onto some planet to corrupt it
>i want to inspect the drop pod
>seems okay
>i wanna interface with it
>no you cant
>yes i can nigga i got the implant and everything
>machine spirit is acting weird
>i want to try to fix it
>wont let me
>figure whatever maybe thats just how chaos machine spirits are
>nope
>thing fucking malfunctions mid fall
>try to interface again
>you cant you arent strong enough to plug yourself in
>thats what the giant robot claw is for
>says i cant do it
>whatever
>after crash landing i try to inspect it
>says it's danbgleing on a cliff
|>i pull it back
>you arent strong enough
>maybe not alone but between the superhuman my super arm i can
>no it just falls
>whatever
it gets better

I second what said. It is a magical realm and shouldn't be done unless you know the players have an NTR and a Bad ending fetish. Most people do not.

>during warp shenanigans chaos preachy marine loses hand
>we infiltrate human military world
>they give him a whole new cybernetic arm, best quality in space marine size
>on a planet with no space marines
>can i get some tech? we dark mechanicus love us some robot parts
>nope
>well we are on a military base can i get some useful gear for our upcoming mission?
>no
>other marine asks for a 2 handed (by space marine standards) chainsword
>they have one lying around
this is when i realized why people just blocked and never talked to this guy ever again and i did the same.

>this guy is a dick
That's an understatement, really.

>says it's dangling off a cliff
>i pull it back
sorry im drunk

He doesn't seem too smart of a guy. Is he alcoholic?

I feel like GMs that insert some kind of pet characters in their stories/worlds are always bad news. Why is it necessary, because they never can take it when the character dies and most of the time it's just matter of time.

I remember one guy killing a elf assassin girl that attacked the party and the GM got really mad and kicked the guy out. The GMs girlfriend told that apparently the "Kiaran" or whatever the name was, was the GMs character from somewhere else originally, ehich he inserts into every game somehow.

At least now you know and will act accordingly. So that's good!

...

This was a few years ago but the group was pretty much in universal agreement that he is an alcoholic. And no, he isn't that smart. He had a job selling cable for commission and genuinely believed it when they told him he could make 80k a year with little effort.

The guy in question was a roll-player who basically didn't pay attention to the game if he wasn't stabbing someone. Ignoring the needs of the group in order to satisfy his murder-boner was pretty typical behaviour for him, this is just the first time it actually got another PC killed.

>next night
>kill him in his sleep
"He tried to have me killed last fight, I can't risk that."

>trying hard to save your home city from demonic invasion
>murderhobo
Oh wow.

This is anecdotal, I want your inner personal interaction. Did you take something that he wanted? Did you kill something he wanted to kill? Are you annoying at the table? You just give the end result of your and his encounter, a "lalalala I can't see you getting stabbed" doesn't just fall from the sky for no reason.

>if you didn't want to have your loved ones raped, you shouldn't have loved ones
You really do need to have everything pointed out to you, don't you? Because you are just another brainless retard

>>he comes back next time and finds out, just leaves
...and nothing of value was lost

>and then deletes the community dropbox folder we were using to share sheets
almost nothing.


>>"Nope! If you roll low, that's what you get! You'll have to roleplay around it."
>>"Really? Can I pick my class and race after, then?"
>>"Nope, gotta pick those first.
I'm not saying that the other stuff isn't bad, weird, or stupid, but this alone is enough for me to thank him for his time but politely decline and leave immediately.
This is as bad as spending 45-60 minutes crafting a character and then rolling to see if they survive to the beginning of the game.
Just walk away from this level of stupidity.

>Caring about your fake characters fake wife in your short 2 shot adventure

Its time to step back and reevaluate your life user.

So what's wrong with having loved ones and defeating the bad guys?

The implication wasn't that he wanted user to get torn up by dogs, but that he'd rather try to solo the boss than be a team player.
Ulterior animosity is not a necessary motivation for the story he told.

What, like a telemarketer?

OY!

>>if you didn't want to have your loved ones raped, you shouldn't have loved ones
he said:
>you should have tried harder to win.
not
>you shouldn't have loved ones

>So what's wrong with having loved ones and defeating the bad guys?
He was saying that's what you should do, but he was reading too much into it.

Saying: "You shoulda tried harder" to a guy who just had his wife raped by a zombie is a tad harsh, but then, that's the joke.

Am I the only one sober tonight?

Pretty much.

>He had a job selling cable for commission and genuinely believed it when they told him he could make 80k a year with little effort.
In his defense, it is entirely possible to do just that.
In the same way that it is entirely possible to meet a solid 10 girl who sexes, loves, then marries you by playing D&D.

>The implication wasn't that he wanted user to get torn up by dogs, but that he'd rather try to solo the boss than be a team player.

this
some people are too autistic to work as a group
example:
gods of the fallen 1 shot
>slaver bust into bar we like
>try to rough up owner
>i play a god of war
>reason that i like beer and this bar so i want to defend the owner
>other 3 dont and just want to leave
>can tell this is part of the planned game and dont want to mess up DM's story
>goad them to confront slavers
>party face sweet talks slaver boss and gets to leave
>i start to fight, one shot some goon
>other two dive behind bar
>i am now soloing gang boss and one lackey
>little help?
>one guy is making molotov cocktails
the other is doing something stupid with spells
>grappled by boss and being puched by other slaver
>one idiot starts a fire
>other idiot makes it worse
>barley beat up slaver and boss
>idiot number 1 trys to kill steal and fails>other idiot doesnt even try to put out fire
>kill gang leader and tie up other 2 goons befor putting out fire
> idiots 1 and 2 want to murder slavers because they are autistic edgelords
>i dont let them, tell the goons they work for bar owner until she can fix the place up and never bother her again
>whining ensues

sad part?
im 24
edge lords 1 and 2 are both over 30

>party of level one adventurers starting out in a small town
>GM tells us were we start but no other info on what kind of game it is
>a few members decide to all be merchants
>other party members are guards
>excited for sandbox CAPITALISM HO adventurers raiding ruins and selling the stuff we find
>first session we come back from the goblin fight and find out the town is gone
>all the towns are gone
>a demon wiped out all civilization except for the capital city while we were in the cave
>GET ON THE FUCKING RAILROAD YOU GUYS ARE THE CHOSEN HEROES DESPITE BEING LEVEL 1
>CHOO CHOO, NEXT STOP EXPOSITION-VILLE

>Expecting your DM to run your autistic accounting sim every week

The DM needs to have fun too.

You still can be a group of merchants in that one big city.

The one remaining city was a theocracy where the god king controlled everything and there was no money. The only other group left outside that was the band of chaos worshiping communists that also don't believe in money.

the point is that he signed off on this concept. We asked him if this was okay and then he shot it down in the first session for a super railroad plot.

This is why you insist on session zero so everyone can talk about their expectations, what the players want to see, what sort of game the GM wants to run, and everyone can make a group of characters together that fits appropriately.

>Playing dnd 5th edition
>Friendo is wizard
>GM has hard on for taking wizards down a notch apparently
>During fight with a governor that the DM obviously wants us to work for
>Problem is we know for a fact this guy is a slaver and is possibly selling children
>We're all some variant of good alignments, with some interpersonal disagreements about how to be good for character interaction but nobody is willing to engage in fucking CHILD SLAVERY
>We fight the governors bodyguards, not doing too bad
>Wizard's turn rolls around
>"Magic missile at the guard closest to user"
>rolls an 18
>"It doesn't work."
>"What? His armor class can't be that high, the rogue hit him on like an 11."
>'No, your magic just doesn't work"
>Wizard is confused
>"Is there an anti-magic artifact in the room I didn't sense before? Because I have detect magic for a reason-"
>"no your magic just failed. You know, magic doesn't follow rules, it's fickle. So your spells aren't working. Next-"
>Paladin buts in
>"Wait wait, his magic just stops?"
>"No, it's just not working."
>Paladin and Rogue proceed to explain how magic is tied to the world itself and is not something that just doesn't work without a reason
>DM essentially says
>"This is my world and I say magic just doesn't work sometimes. Anyone who disagrees can leave."
>Me and wizard leave, Paladin started packing up, DM starts ranting about how magic is the reason we're leaving and thus is not important in DnD

Wasn't a regular DM, was a friend of a friend who seemed nice enough up until now.
I DM'd a sessions right after that and just made my Barbarian an NPC they could go back and talk with. Things worked out after that so not a total loss.

>>one idiot starts a fire
>>other idiot makes it worse
This whole fight just sounds more like average stupid adventurers

>idiot number 1 trys to kill steal
This makes it sound like you care about kill stealing in a group bar brawl in an ttrpg one shot, which is not a good look.

>not getting strong through the main story and killing the god king so that you can reinstate a currency system and become merchants again

If you abuse the NPCs beloved by the party, especially in a gruesome fashion, they will just make orphans with no ties at all for the mext games.

It's always wonderful to see people who, after decades of Magic Missile, still don't know that magic missile doesn't need an attack roll. And never has. Shit story is shit.

Fake story. You don't roll anything to cast Magic Missile other than damage.

If you didn't put the "rolls an 18" part I might have bought into it but fake and gay.

>and there was no money.
Wait. Every city and village used money, except the capital? Is that possible?
>This makes it sound like you care about kill stealing in a group
I interpeted the sentence as "guys intention was the kill steal", so he desribed it as that.

Okay I guess I'll elaborate on what happened after that point then.

>we get to the main city and find out its' a crap hole
>one player had a backstory tied to it but all his family members died somehow because the DM didn't read it and didn't want to deal with it
>god king jerkface who none of us agree with reveals that the demon was targeting him specifically and everyone else just got killed in the crossfire
>god king is powerful enough to solve everything but instead tells the group of level 2's to kill the demon instead
>yes the demon who just burned down ever building on the continent in a giant flaming murderorgy
>so we go on his stupid quest to a hidden wizard tower and find a time machine
>great! We'll go back to before the world burned the fuck down and fix this mess!
>nope, the time machine can only be used "selflessly" or so the inscription claims
>nothing more selfless than saving the world right?
>NOPE, Paladin tries to use the machine, DM says he is consumed by arcane fire and explodes, no save, you are dead
>the only acceptable use of the time machine is to take it to god king jerkface so he can use it win a fight with the leader of the communists in order to steal his magic murder jewel
>selflessly
>now God King Jerkface is double god with the power to be invincible and also kill anything and travel through time, still doesn't want to fix the world because everyone that died wasn't part of his religion so he says they deserve it
Everyone pretty much lost interest at that point

Good read. This is the kind of shit I wish my games got onto.

The capital city was basically just a huge temple to the god king that was inside a magic dome and didn't give a fuck about anyone outside it, the slums outside the city all got obliterated and everything that was left was 100% loyal to the god king and nobody was willing to pay for anything, they just seized our goods.

>That player
>Argues with every NPC
>Makes stupid jokes during important discussions with powerful people such as kings/crime bosses/high priests
>Gets salty when NPCs react
>"hey I was just joking"
>He's a bard
>Will spend half of combat hiding behind walls because "his character wouldn't fight"
>Only uses spells and no weapons
>Has only taken one offensive spell, lightning bolt
>Won't use things like fly, in case he gets attacked and loses concentration
>Last week
>"I want to prepare a spell and hold it as an aciton"
>"Ok what spell"
>"I'm not going to tell you, I'm trying to trick the DM so he won't counter it"
>"...you can't do that"

I'm thinking up a way to really smack him down, but he might quit the game over it.

Which is a fine point to make, but you replied to a guy commenting on the tenacity, or possibly skill, of the players.
He said "Try harder!" and you responded "This is why we can't have nice things!"
It's a bit of a disconnect because you're actively ignoring his message to focus on his complicit acceptance of NPC abuse, which as I said, seemed to me to intended humorously.

>but he might quit the game over it.

Yeah that sounds like a real fuckin' loss.

If he's not participating in combat, then why is he an adventurer? If his character is a coward, then fuck, he could do basket weaving instead of exploring tombs, dungeons, and slaying creatures.

>he asks us questions, and at the end he gives us a title, cantrip, and spell for our character

...can I ask what a couple of the titles were?

Because I think I know what is going on here.

>everything that was left was 100% loyal to the god king
Did anyone bought even for a second, that said genocide was done by a demon and not by homicidal godking for absolute reign?

Its a group of close friends who do everything together. But I'm almost willing to burn some bridges.
He might just be committed to the roleplay. He's been less autistic with other characters.

I dunno man, if it was then it was still a really shitty boring plot. He kept on having to come up with excuses since he wanted us to go do stuff but had established that fucking everyone was dead.

So somehow the communists were still around and a goblin cave kept us alive, but being under a fucking mountain couldn't save the dwarves.

Right, but if his character is not willing to fight, then why is this character an adventurer? It's nice to roleplay, but certain character archetypes do not fit well into an adventurer role.

I had a fun Battlemaster/Bard character who used all his actions doing support stuff but never actually fought people himself.

Well you can be motivated by a lot of things other than fighting, maybe you really want those treasures and have a lot of skills to offer but know you can't fight for your life and would rather stay alive to live another day ?

By that logic the DM running a medieval fantasy game could have a PC contract a gross STD and describe the warts it makes on the character's dick because that's how it would have gone if it was real life.

Let's be real user. Rape is a touchy subject. It will make people uncomfortable or downright grossed out, especially if it comes out of left field. If you cannot tell the "clarify whether rape and other mature themes will be involved in a campaign" convention exists, or why it exists, I feel sorry for you.

(Also, the DM used rape to get a cheap, easy emotional reaction out of the player. It's like introducing a cute kid with the express purpose of having the bad guy kill him off. Angst for the sake of angst is the greasy, unappealing junk food of storytelling.)

I know you're just baiting, I just think someone else with come along and spark an interesting conversation eventually.

So what qualifies someone of being THAT GUY?

For sure, but you were engaged in combat. My bard is doing the same thing. I think my last session was the first time that I actually did direct damage to anyone (excepting wand of magic missile). Fucking solo'd a sorc with a cestus.

Sure, I can see that. But perhaps the risk is too great for this character for the reward. I could jump in front of a car and get a massive payout on a lawsuit, but I don't do it because it's too fucking risky. I don't try to smuggle drugs across the boarder because it's too fucking risky, even if I could be paid a million bajillion dollars for it.

A skilled person would be able to make a considerable, comfortable living doing what they are good at. Perhaps they could be a paid-for-resource for adventurers? Perhaps some adventures have discovered some ruins, and exchange for some gold, the person identifies religions, words, etc.

If they want to have fun at everyone else's expense, they are that guy. That includes people who don't realize that the way they have fun ruins the game for the rest of the players. Or who realize but do not care.

>STD

Cured with paladins lay on hands. Or any basic healing spell.

>infected cut
>no worries
>healing word

I know it's boring, that's why I resort to things like breaking a players back and requiring high level regenerate

Healing word heals wounds, not sickness and diseases.

For your next trick, go to Veeky Forums and tell them to stop caring about protein.

Either everything is okay or nothing is, in my rulebook.

>So you guys just butchered like fifty "bad guys" in cold blood
>btw rape is real in this fantasy setting

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOD HE BROUGHT UP RAPE

RAPE IS WORSE THAN MURDER

IT IS TOUCHY

People get raped. People get killed too. If you can't handle rape being mentioned in a game where you stick your sword through someone's guts, I don't want you at my table.

If there is a Paladin in the party with a player who likes to try and sleep with bar wenches at every tavern I will absolutely give them an STD.

The resulting conversation where they have to ask the Paladin to... lay hands on the problem area is always worth it.

That's a very broad term, like Mary Sue.

>I interpreted the sentence as "guys intention was the kill steal", so he described it as that.
Yeah, I wan't sure, I could see it both ways.

Mentioning rape and describing it in excruciating details are two different things.

The one time one of my players wanted to fuck a bar wench I gave them an std. It was a girl, I gave her herpes.

The second time, I made them dopplegangers and the player nearly died and was almost replaced. It was funny because the other players refused to metagame and couldn't tell the difference.

I'll agree with you there, but no where in the OP did he mention that his GM spent half an hour explaining how the zombie's rotten mushy dick was all up in and around his PC's wife and that the GM unzipped and started to rub one out during the table.

I am aroused by you gif. Thank you for posting that.

>>Will spend half of combat hiding behind walls because "his character wouldn't fight"
>If he's not participating in combat, then why is he an adventurer?
>He might just be committed to the roleplay
>then why is this character an adventurer?
>you can't fight for your life and would rather stay alive to live another day ?
>A skilled person would be able to make a considerable, comfortable living doing what they are good at.
Listen to the guy saying the character should be able to contribute to combat in a combat heavy game.
Players like this need to read pic related.

>I'm thinking up a way to really smack him down, but he might quit the game over it.
God knows that talking to him like a rational, mature human being isn't an option.
That'd be communication.
We can't have that.

Yesterday i had to explain close to seven times to one of my players what the magic item I gave him did

not quite that guy but still irritating none the less

Good. I wouldn't to be at a table with someone like you.

I know this upsets you

This is correct.

Wrong country bruv. Americans want to fuck themselves that's their business.

Just because it's easy to cure doesn't mean the player wants to hear about the purulent warts on his character's dick; user.

So what, you don't value the comfort of your players? And you're proud of it?
>I don't want you at your table
I wouldn't sit there even if you paid me. I'm glad I was the one who had a dude with legit PTSD in his previous group and not you.