Your party is looting an ancient tomb, when suddenly

Over-sized treble hooks fall, everyone dies.

The party puts on their robes and wizard hats.

A lich appears and treats them as guests, offering them snacks and drinks.

Nazis

... the ancient tomb is looting you back!

The DM plays this on his speakers

youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM

unrelated but jesus shit, I'd kill somebody to have a Mummy movie shot like Alien. Just imagine how sick it'd be to have this 8 foot tall sorcerer-king wrapped in runic bandages taking out people trying to escape the tomb complex.

a faggot appears, roll for digits

We break for pizza. Or maybe pork noodles and eggroll this time?

...

...

ewwwwwwwwwww

also, I'm stealing that for my group

The nation's cultural ministry send forces to stop this pillaging of their heritage.

I never knew I wanted this, but now I'm thinking about who would direct it and who you could cast as the Mummy

>Get drunk with some buddies in Egypt
>Hey, let's go see some mummies, for real
>Trespass on an unguarded archaeological dig
>Feel like Indiana Jones sneaking through the tomb
>Wow, some of this shit is pretty cool
>Find some ceramic jars with animals on them

>Holy fuck, I found some real treasure in one of these rooms!
>It's a fucking gold mine, ancient rings and bling and cool stuff from Ancient Egypt
>Someone picks up a gold necklace and puts it on their neck
>This shit must be worth a ton, let's take as much as we can sneak out
>Fill your pockets with gold chains and rings, grab some stuff that looks cool

>Start to make your way out
>Hey, where's Mike?
>He must have pussied out and left
>Hey, where is the way out? I could have sworn it was over here
>Let's just go the other way

>Hey, look, it's Mike.
>Mike, what's wrong? Are you sick or
>OH FUCK IT'S NOT MIKE

>JESUS THAT GUY WAS LIKE EIGHT FEET TALL
>WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE
>Okay calm down
>We don't know where Mike is, fuck fuck fuck
>Okay, that wasn't real, we're just all getting freaked out by the booze, right?
>We need to focus on getting out

>Follow the wall, follow the wall, follow the
>Woah, pit trap, everyone back up
>Dude, stop screaming, what is it
>The dude's back, get across the pit ASAP
>Oh SHIT he got Carrie everyone else RUN

>Dude I hope this is a dream
>No such thing as mummies
>Everything's going to be fine, just keep focused
>What sort of fucking practical joke is this
>What do you mean service is dead, we can't be more than 10 feet underground

>Come on, come on
>Okay, let's regroup and do a head count
>Does anyone else hear that?
>Hear wh

>Great, now everyone is split up in this fucking tomb
>I'm completely lost
>A tomb shouldn't be this big
>Oh no
>Huge room

>Holy shit, this place is the size of a ballroom
>How did they make this in Ancient Egypt
>Oh look, there's the casket
>The open casket
>That's not good

>It's just an exhibit or something
>It has to be
>Oh FUCK the scraping sound is back
>Gotta find an exit
>No exit
>Somewhere to hide

>IT'S IN THE ROOM
>Please leave pleasepleaseplease
>Get back in your coffin please
>IT'S COMING TOWARDS ME
>It can't know where I am
>Hold my breath

>Okay, it's moving away
>Just gotta wait for it to go outsi

It would take a feat of God to make mummies scary to the general public after all the jokes and old movies.

The Mummy got an A for effort, but at the end of the day an American with guns still won.

I mean, you could do it, you'd just have to shoot it a lot more horror. Focus on the actual mummification processes and canopic jars and shit. Have the mummy actually mummify people alive with realistic period practices, removing organs while they're still writhing in pain, eventually sticking a probe up the nose to liquefy and remove the brain. Mummification is.... not a pretty process. And then at the end of it you have one of your own goddamn friends coming after you to do the same fucking thing to you.

>God dammit, finally
>There's that damn exit
>Gotta get to the car
>Gotta call the cops

>Finally out of that fucking tomb
>Just gotta start the car
>Who did I give the keys?
>Dammit, no time, gotta try to pick the door lock

>Is that one of the other guys?
>Did someone make it out?
>Who is that?
>Fuck it, I'm dialing now

>COME ON PICK UP
>What the fuck, what language is that
>DOESN'T ANYONE SPEAK ENGLISH
>HELP

>IT'S GETTING CLOSER
>HELP ME HELP
>FUCK
>MY PHONE
>OH GOD IT'S THAT THING
>IT'S A REAL DAMN MUMMY

I did this once actually. The house cat was his niece reincarnated as a kitty and made immortal using ancient magic.
it was quite nice actually, though the mage set his clothes on fire in panic and had to buy him a new set or else the lich would ask her to leave and make her feel guilty.

The paladin and the lich had quite a nice discussion about the nations history and they were given the name of a contact in the city they were traveling too.

>Stupid fucking kids.
>What happened?
>Oh, they're still running that missing persons report from like a week ago. Apparently some idiot tourists vanished after leaving a nightclub. Police suspect human traffickers were involved.
>Really? By the way, look at the size of these bones from the mummies we found in that side room.
>I already heard, they're too heavy, too tall, et cetera. Chalk it up to gigantism or something.
>Come on, these bones are way too well preserved for their time period.
>Whatever they did must be the same as what they did to the king we found. I mean, the bandages must be thousands of years old but don't show any signs of rotting.
>Is that guy gonna go on display?
>No, the brass ordered us to put him back after some incident involving shipment. Car broke down on the site, so he can't be moved for at least a month. Might never get around to it.