Times Your Veeky Forums obsessions turned out useful

>Be me, on my way home from riveting night out at the gaming club playing my latest week's DnD session.
>I play a paladin, I ALWAYS play a paladin.
>inspired by my character I have taken up the fine European martial art of the poleaxe, and carry it everywhere as a symbol of my martial superiority.
>Spot a band of hooligans, five of them total, attempting to have their way with a defenceless damsel
>I freeze up, thinking "what would Ithek Stormfist do?"
>without hesitation I ready my weapon and charge in, chanting a Latin battle hymn as I go. >The first one is standing a ways back from the others, filming the ordeal, dispatching him is easy, a simple sweep with the axe head to his exposed shin sends him down to the ground hard as I recover from the swing and bring the staff pommel point down hard on his temple, knocking him out or killing him midscream as my ironshod boot shatters his phone.
>step over his broken form as three others form up in front of my restlessly, a look of shock on their face as they draw their own knives, pitiful things against my mightly poleaxe.
>In the moment of brief confusion I thirst forward with the sharp point, the one I strike hitting the ground as he goes down, screaming in agony and clutching at the gaping wound now in his thigh.
>I turn to face the other two as their companion falls, they begin circling me, eyeing my near impeccable defensive stance as I softly bob the head of my axe.
>With a nod to eachother they step in, attempting to strike me at once from two sides, I had seen this coming a mile away.
>I thrust the pommel back into the man behind me's belly, causing him to double over as his companion swings his long knife towards me, sliding my grip up the shaft I catch the blade in e crook of the axe head, reversing the weapon and twisting the knife out of his hands before slamming the Hamer head on the reverse side into his face, knocking him out cold.
Cont.

ITT

>by this point the assialant to my rear has recovered and I turn to face Him.
>he is obviously enraged from my casual defeat of his friend and the pain in his own gut. As a result he rushes forward, swinging wildly in a fast overhead smash, aiming to cleave my skull.
>what he fails to notice is my new grip on the weapon haft, a tight two handed grip places at the two quartile points of the haft. I catch his knife neatly on the wooden stave, biting deep and wrenching it from his hands as I pull my weapon back, before slamming it back into his chest, sending him reeling.
>spotting his moment of weakness I swing the weapon round in the opposite direction, using the rear side of the weapon again, only this time to smack him in the face.
>he sprawls on the ground but still represents a threat, so I promptly stab downwards with the spike, shattering his femur with the price strike and turning on my heel to face the final assailant.
>this man is obviously the smartest of the hooligans as he has captured the lady in a hostage grip, knife to her neck "not one step!" He shouts at me
>the woman's face is of utter terror, no doubt of the blade just bellow her jaw. My mind begins to work, analysing space between us, my speed and my time to act.
>reaching a conclusion I yell out "duck!" To the maiden as I bring my weapon up and overhead. Swinging the axe head down in a murderous arc.
>the thug panics and brings his knife up to straight block my strike, a rookie mistake, no weapon with as much weight and leverage as a poleaxe can be properly blocked.
>I had been standing the exact 1.9 meters away from him that the maximum reach of my poleaxe axe head constituted, and so the might blade arced down towards his knife, smashing it aside as it landed with a meaty *thunk* into his skull, cleaving it in twain as the back of the blade bit deep into his face.

>I held him like that for a moment, before twisting my weapon and dropping his corpse to the floor, resetting my poleaxe in is holster on my back
>I see the damsel, crouched on the ground, in sheer shock, undoubtedly in awe of the pure skill and raw masculinity she had just witnessed.
>"are you ok my lady?" I ask of her, offering my hand.
>I guide her to her feet "y...yes" she stutters out
>"shall I travel with you back to your abode to further secure your safety?" I ask, she quivers as she responds "no... No thanks" and walks off shivering up the street, leaving me alone surrounded by the mangled forms of her assailants.
>no kiss of reward
>no hand in marriage
>not even a token of her favour
>squirezoned again

So when have your obsessions helped you Veeky Forums?

>Be me, on my way home from riveting night out at the gaming club playing my latest week's MAID session.
>I play a Cunning maid, I ALWAYS play a Cunning maid.
>inspired by my character I have taken up the fine European art of household maintenance, and carry a broom everywhere as a symbol of my domestic superiority.
>Spot a band of hooligans, five of them total, attempting to have their way with a defenceless damsel
>I freeze up, thinking "doushio, Yamazaki Nanami-chan?"
>without hesitation I ready my broom and charge in, welcoming my masters back home as I go.
>5 minutes later we're all arguing over which one of us loves the Head Butler the most over a pleasant cup of tea

A day in the life of Don Quixote.

>Be me, on my way home from riveting night out at the gaming club playing my latest week's DnD session.
>I play a wizard, I ALWAYS play a wizard.
>inspired by my character I have taken up the fine European arcane art of the fireball, and carry it everywhere as a symbol of my mystical superiority.
>Spot a band of hooligans, five of them total, attempting to have their way with a defenceless damsel
>I freeze up, thinking "what would the Greybeard do?"
>without hesitation I ready my bat guano and begin the secret motions, chanting an eldritch invocation in a long-lost forgotten language as I go.
>The fireball explodes in the middle of them
>OH MY GOD THERE IS SMELL OF CHARRED FLESH ERRYWHERE THE AGONIZNG SCREAAMS OF SIX SOULS WRITHING IN PAIN
>THEIR FLESH IS BURNING AND MELTING THEIR BONES ARE TURNING TO CHARCOAL
>Do a 360 and walk away
I just want to get a qt gf, maybe teach her how to unravel the magical secrets of the universe, Veeky Forums

I too had those fantasies when I was fourteen.

Do a 180 and walk away is what you meant

>not moonwalking