I promised I would share a storytime, but then I lost my motivation...

I promised I would share a storytime, but then I lost my motivation, and today I felt it would be kinda shitty to go back on my promise. So I'll share the abridged version of it. Anyway,

>before we start, there are two important points I need to mention where we deviated from the MAID system
>we didn't use the random tables, we just collectively made up the characters together with the GM
>and the way we got awarded Favor wasn't only by, well, getting favor from the Master, but also by adhering to our secret motivations - kind of like how the points are acquired in Everyone is John

>it all started with a message from Mother Dearest, like it always does in the Wodehouse novels
>the message told us that our Master, the Ojou-sama, was required to attend a ball, where she would have to mingle with the other nobles in order to find herself a suitable suitor
>in retrospect, it's kind of weird we called the mistress Ojou-sama when literally everyone else used the Western names, but whatever

>so there are four servants, right
>Margaret - a perverted lesbian, whose main motivation was to get into the pants of Ojou-sama - literally every other servant (player) called her a "crazy dyke"
>Sebastian - an apprentice butler, a young boy head over heels in love with Ojou-sama, he was a pretty basic kid - wanted to become a "man worthy of the Mistress's attention" and confess his love to Ojou-sama
>Miss Watson - a shy girl with braided hair and round spectacles - her main motivation was to witness "the blooming love of Ojou-sama" from the sidelines - a classic romantic, a stalker AND A FUCKING YANDERE
>and, finally, Jeeves (my character) - a servant who served this family for almost 30 years, and is honor-bound to Ojou's late father to protect Ojou-sama from the more unpleasant aspects of aristocratic life, currently the head servant of the mansion

>again, we weren't informed of each other's motivations and had to figure them out in-game from our actions
>cont.

>in any case, none of the servants were all too thrilled about the orders, but we couldn't really go against Mother Dearest's wishes, because she technically owns the manor where Ojou-sama and the servants live, even if she got it from her late husband and isn't actually Ojou's mother, but rather a stepmother
>we technically have to attend the ball in two days, and yet it's in our interest to stealthily sabotage the event
>so, the problems start from the very beginning, because Margaret apparently can't keep her lesbo in her pants
>the very first situation me and Miss Watson had to defuse was the crazy dyke breaking into the Ojou's room in hopes of some steamy lesbo sex - because "if she is to be engaged and I can't have her, then I'd rather engage in our forbidden love right now"

>the next two days are not very interesting, it's basically just roleplaying, GM setting the scene, and players competing for Favor, so I won't detail them
>anyway, in two days Mother Dearest arrives in her lavish and pompous carriage
>Sebastian and I run distraction with her, while Margaret and Miss Watson sabotage the carriage she came in, in hopes that if we can't go to the ball, we won't need to do shit
>it almost works too, but they fail some checks and almost get caught in the act, so, unfortunately, Ojou has to attend the ball
>and, guess fucking what, we are drafted to assist in the ball's proceedings
>this_might_be_the_chance_we_were_looking_for.jpg
>when we arrive, I cite being the head servant so I remain with Ojou-sama, while rather unsubtly hinting to other players to fuck shit up
>cont.

>Margaret is stellar at seducing random nobles right in front of everyone and making them do stupid shit, laughing when they make fools of themselves in front of Ojou-sama and Mother Dearest
>Miss Watson fucks up shit at kitchen, making shit completely inedible even if it looks perfectly fine and mixing up the orders
>Sebastian is doing his best to run distraction and does some really ridiculous shit, like releasing the flock of peacocks someone brought with them into the ballroom
>and I'm accompanying Ojou and Mother Dearest while she unsuccessfully tries to find a suitable suitor, who are all too busy being seduced by Margaret, throwing up from Miss Watson's food or getting shit on by the birds
>at some point, Mother Dearest goes into a fucking tantrum saying that she will find a husband for her stepdaughter in this place, like it or not
>I've_been_waiting_for_this.tiff
>I unleash the most fucking savage bantz I manage upon Mother Dearest, saying that she is a disgrace to the family, that her husband would be ashamed to see her trying to hook up her daughter with these unworthy retards in a horrible place like this etc.
>she tries to disagree, but even she can't deny how fucking horrible the service been in this place and how people behaved like complete retards (thanks to our interference, but she doesn't know that)
>and then Miss Watson appears out of nowhere and proceeds to use the Ultimate Retort, using even more savage insults than I've managed, and unleashing her inner yandere, saying that "Ojou-sama deserves a prince on a white horse, not these god forsaken pigs in human clothing"
>tfw we just publicly shamed our employer and got away with it
>at this point we basically go home immediately, with the danger of our Ojou-sama being engaged to some aristocratic bumfuck safely averted
There is way more to this campaign, like the time we went to France, but this is the gist of how my Jeeves transformed into "I would rather slip into a fucking coma" character.

>seduced by a turbolesbian
They deserved it

To be fair, there's a lot more to that campaign.
There was that time we had to pass off the pretty boy as a girl and the turbolesbian as a guy - with them masquerading as a married couple at a banquet. There was the aforementioned trip to France where I nearly drowned another bumfuck aristocrat due to my Stress Explosion suddenly activating, and there was a lot of crazy shit in general. There was a time when our Mother Dearest brought the Aunt with her retard kids to our mansion for a vacation and we had to basically babysit everyone involved.
It was fun as fuck - I'm just a lazy faggot who is entirely unmotivated to put shit into writing.

...wait, why not just have the turbolesbian and the guy masquerade as a married couple, beyond it being sillier that way?
Also, it is extremely impolite to tease such things and not elaborate on them.

>...wait, why not just have the turbolesbian and the guy masquerade as a married couple, beyond it being sillier that way?
Well, we kinda hoped that we would only need one person at the banquet, so we agreed that Margaret would masquerade as a guy and turned in her formal introduction letter complete with a photo. What we didn't count on is that the banquet was for married couples. Miss Watson wasn't available at the time, because she was torturing a guy who collected blackmail on the Ojou - so it was either me, or Sebastian masquerading as a spouse. Seeing as I'm too old...

>Seeing as I'm too old...
You're a dirty, filthy cock-tease, you will either commence storytelling within thirty minutes or I'll teport you.

*Report

Alright, man, which one do you want to hear first?
>banquet story
>trip to France
>babysitting retard aristocrats

Well, you already started the banquet story.

Alright, fine, I won't dwell on it too much, but the gist of it:

>we find out there are three fucklord barons in on a plot to defame Ojou's family name
>they are in the Mother Dearest's good boy book, so we can't really do shit about them officially
>so, as always, we have to concoct a ridiculous scheme about how we're going to deal with them
>anyway, we hear about this banquet that two of these three fucktards are going to attend
>Margaret practically jumps at the opportunity, planning to cuck literally every noble present there with steamy illicit dyke sex, and, well, as a head servant I'm pretty much the only one who even gets to veto the plan, and who am I to deny the woman her pleasures?
>so we send the formal introduction letter signed by a name of some distant cousin of Ojou that is guaranteed to not turn up at the banquet, and replace his photo with Margaret's photo in a suit
>anyway, in a few days, just before the banquet, Miss Watson finds out that the third guy will be alone on a hunting trip and she's gonna kidnap and torture him - both for information and to send a message that no one fucks with the Ojou and gets away with it (in reality, the player just said he would be absent for the next session, so we had to make adjustments for it)
>and in general, we figured that grabbing them by the balls and sending them a message to not fuck with our mistress was a good idea
>in any case, Miss Watson has to leave for her subplot, leaving us three to pick up the mess that is the banquet
>so, again, a few days pass, and it's time for the banquet
>the three of us arrive, posing as Margaret's servants, except HOUSTON, THERE'S A FUCKING PROBLEM, COUPLES ONLY
>cont.

>so we have to come up with a solution on spot
>we can't drag Ojou-sama into this mess, Miss Watson is away, and there are no readily available females to help us
>so we come up with a plan literally on spot to dress Sebastian in drag and make him pose as Margaret's wife
>I manage to steal the baggage of some dame that came to this event, and voila, we got a dress for our pretty boy
>a hastily put on dress, a bit of hair-styling from me and a few tips from the local turbolesbian in a suit - and the pretty boy looks like a grade A waifu material
>finally, we enter the ball, me being allowed in as their servant
>as soon as we enter, Margaret immediately separates from our group to drink, mingle and flirt with local wives, because she just can't keep her shit in her pants, leaving us two to figure out where the nobles are and how to grab them by the balls
>this is where the most hilarious part begins
>we finally catch up to Margaret, and with her help - apparently, aristocratic gossip is useful - we locate the two fucks, and Sebastian has this glorious plan that OBVIOUSLY CAN'T GO WRONG
>he wants to seduce them, but as the guy whose Affection is middling at best, he needs help from the local dyke as a prompter
>basically, she provides the dialogue, he provides the charm and seduces the two, while I'm trying to look serious on the outside and not to die from laughter on the inside
>cont.

>the entire scene that happens next looks like something straight from a sitcom
>we barely, BARELY succeed by the skin of our teeth, setting up a date with both men in a secluded wine cellar
>Margaret again storms off somewhere, saying that she got a hilarious idea
>anyway, me and Sebastian are waiting in the cellar for both men to come, and after a bit of waiting and two short scuffles in the darkness, we got both of them unconscious, lying on the floor of the basement
>that's when Margaret barges in with a photocamera (picrelated) she managed to nick off someone on the banquet
>she proposes we take photos of them in compromising positions, implying buggery, leave one copy to both men with a letter to threaten to distribute them, unless they cease their faggotry - both to Ojou and in general
>obviously, who am I to refuse a woman her pleasures?
>and that's how we got rid of two blackmailing fucks, turning the tables on them

Here's a picture of how the camera basically looked.

>Jeeves is the only one without romantic/sexual interest in Ojou-sama
If this didn't end with Ojou-sama in love with Jeeves, I'm going to be disappointed.

I need to take a break for midnight snack, so decide if you want to hear another story and which one.

France.

Are you sure your GM isn't P.G. Wodehouse reincarnated?

France, then Retarded Aristocrats.
Also, I have to admit, the idea of a yandere who doesn't want their beloved for herself but will do absolutely horrible things to make sure they are happy (and has The Perfect Mate) is an interesting concept

>It's the party member who was never supposed to be anywhere near a leadership/face role being forced there because the rest of the party are all fucking autists episode
I feel your pain, bro.

Alright, so the trip to France is kind of a long one and happened after the Retarded Aristocrats episode, so I'll start it, but I can't promise I'll finish it today:

>so, after the Retard Aristocrats episode, where we had to babysit the retard children of Aunt Dearest, she was really impressed by how mature Ojou-sama is and the "professionalism" of her servants (to provide context, it was a clusterfuck of grandiose proportions where we only managed to keep things in hand simply by virtue of pure luck and coincidence)
>anyway, Aunt Dearest - the sister of Mother Dearest and not actually our aunt (is there a word for it? Stepaunt?) - invited us to her vacation house somewhere in the Normandy for a few weeks
>naturally, people were excited about the trip - Miss Watson and the Ojou were especially excited about seeing Paris with their very own eyes - so we agreed to go, even despite the fact that we had to deal with the retards again
>anyway, the problems started even before we left our manor
>apparently, Mother Dearest heard about our little excursion and while she was a bit tied up in some ambitious political plot in England and thus couldn't go with us, she still wanted us to run errands while we were in France
>so she gives us a rather lengthy list of the French nobles we have to pay a visit of courtesy to
>begrudgingly, we have to accept, because we can't really bite the hand that's feeding us etc., even if we still try to find a thousand excuses to not do it - and fail at it
>anyway, it's time we leave for France, and to get to France, we have to cross the Strait of Dover, and to cross the Strait of Dover, we have to board the ferry
>and that's when Margaret manages to start a fire on a ferry
>cont.

>the story about how she manages to start a fire on a ferry is worthy of a separate account, really
>everything is peachy when we board the ferry, and it's not like it will take us more than a few hours to cross the Channel, even in this bad weather
>but it's still, like, a few hours, and people get antsy about waiting
>the Ojou chooses to read a book she brought with herself, I keep guard of her, Miss Watson is showing to Sebastian the basics of stitching and knitting
>and Margaret decides to take a walk and stretch her legs
>obviously, the crazy dyke just can't help herself and ends up at the engine area where she isn't supposed to be
>surprisingly, there are no sailors around and that's when Margaret gets a brilliant idea of dragging a woman into this secluded area, and using The World for Two to have a makeout session with a random girl she picked out when she was boarding the ferry
>basically, she gets 5 uninterrupted minutes alone with a person (in hindsight, it would've also helped her to seduce the Ojou, if it wasn't for me having a counter to her ability)
>anyway, "5 minutes" + "reckless dyke" + "engine area" = "BAD THINGS HAPPENING"
>the France's coast in literally in sight, when Margaret barges into our cabin breathing heavily, and when we ask what's wrong she claims with a chipper voice "Nothing's wrong!"
>that's when we hear a scream from outside the cabin "FIRE!"
>basically, long story short, we pack up in less than a minute and board one of the only two emergency boats even faster while everyone is busy panicking
>we safely make it to the French port, pointedly ignoring the screams coming from behind us
>cont.

Actually, I figure it's a nice point to stop for today, because I'm sleepy as fuck. I'll continue this tomorrow at the same time, alright? Sorry about leaving you hanging, guys.

Totally fine. This is fucking great, and I wish I could find a group that would play MAID like this. Maybe I should dig up those old Wodehouse books I've got.

I can only hope you held an umbrella over your charge during all this. Since the weather was nasty and all.
It seems appropriate.

I can't wait to hear more, OP

Bumping for storytime in 12 hours

> Not editing it to What I Maid

But seriously good story time OP

He should have, yeah.

Okay, so, to continue the story:

>after all is said and done, we are finally in France
>obviously, everyone is excited about seeing another country for the first time in their lives (seriously, we spend hours during the entire trip simply bantering about "those crazy Frenchmen and their silly customs")
>anyway, we need to find and hire a carriage to get to the Aunt Dearest's estate, but it's already late, and the weather is rotten, so we decide to stay for the night in the local hotel
>and this is where we realize a critical flaw in our plan that somehow everyone conveniently forgot
>not a single person among the servants speaks French
>the only one who has even slightly passable French skills is Ojou-sama because of her private tutoring lessons
>and that would've been mostly fine, because despite her rather delicate nature, Ojou-sama is a shrewd person who is capable of handling her finances, BUT - and this is a very big BUT
>when we have already settled for the night in two different rooms - males and females separately, which irks me to no end, because while Miss Watson is a rather mature person, I simply don't trust Margaret to handle herself around Ojou-sama when alone
>anyway, when we have already settled for the night in two different rooms, a rather gruff looking gentleman in uniform knocks on Ojou-sama's door
>because SOMEBODY simply couldn't keep it in her pants, the local police wants to bring us in for questioning about what happened at the ferry that SOMEHOW spontaneously combusted
>profuse_sweating.gif
>I immediately Trespass on the scene, not trusting them to handle it themselves, and in an absolutely retarded scene of what basically amounts to a game of "Chinese whispers", I manage to relay through Ojou-sama that she is a proud member of a noble house and I will not allow to treat her like a commoner, so if he wants to conduct questioning, he'd better do it here and now, and fast, so that he won't intrude upon Ojou's sleeptime
>cont.

>the funniest thing about the whole affair was the dialogue between me and Ojou, because while Ojou was cooperative, my honor as a servant dictated that others should treat Ojou-sama with nothing less than profound respect
>and so we bickered in the spirit of "Jeeves, it's fine" and "No, Ojou-sama, we cannot allow this, this, THIS FRENCHMAN to treat you like this! You must command proper respect from the commoners!"
>Miss Watson pretty much supported my point of view through the entire encounter, while Margaret quietly shrinked away into the dark corner of the room, afraid that she would be recognized by the policeman
>anyway, we finally manage to convince the policeman that we didn't know shit about how ferry combusted and make him swear that we won't be bothered about this anymore, so it's finally time for sleep
>surprisingly, I don't even have to Trespass that night again, because Margaret doesn't attempt anything untowards as she usually does
>in the morning, we finally manage to find a carriage and with a lot of broken French from Ojou-sama and a lot of gestures and pointing at the map coming from us, we are finally set for Aunt Dearest's mansion
>the journey takes two days and proceeds mostly without incident, during which we are mostly roleplaying and trying to figure out what the fuck are we going to do if not a single one of us speaks French
>cont.

>in any case, after two days, three changed carriages and another night in a hotel, we are finally there
>after what happened during the Retarded Aristocrats episode, we cautiously expect to be met with Aunt's retard children, but thankfully most of them aren't there, and the only one who is there is suspiciously quiet and polite (I would be quiet and polite too in his place after what happened to him, but that's a story for another time)
>we exchange pleasantries with Aunt Dearest that shows us our accomodations, informs us where the facilities are and asks to provide two of us to instruct the servants here, because she was really impressed by our "professionalism"
>at first we start to bicker who gets to stay with Ojou-sama, but then Sebastian suddenly agrees to be one of the instructors, and we later find out why - because the pretty boy realized that he could learn passable French from the local servants
>the rest of us draw lots, and it's Margaret who draws the short stick
>anyway, the next day we separate, because it's time for courtesy visits to local nobility - thankfully, we don't have to go far, because the French are just as fond of gated communities of aristocratic fucks as the English are, and Margaret and Sebastian go their way, while Miss Watson, me and Ojou-sama go our respective way
>honestly, the whole "courtesy visit" is not that interesting - we basically go in and stand guard over Ojou-sama while she has tea with one noble or another
>that is, until we encounter THAT fucker
>imagine Gaston if he was a gay aristocratic fencer and you have THAT fucker in a nutshell
>the first fucking thing the fucker does is switch to English and subtly insult Ojou-sama that "while I don't enjoy speaking the language of those barbarians, your French is simply atrocious, my dear"
>after only a few minutes of listening to his trite bullshit and witnessing Ojou-sama taking it straight out of his mouth, our Stress ratings rise through the roof
>cont.

>the first one who snaps is Miss Watson, and I have to physically restrain her from murdering the little faggot
>that is, until he mentions "it is unfortunate that your mother had to marry such an uncultured man as your father - after all, my dear, you've taken the best traits of your mother"
>at this point I just stop caring and challenge the fuckboy to a duel
>to provide context, the backstory of Jeeves is that I served under Ojou-sama's father's command during an unspecified war (I never really worked out which war was the most plausible for me to have participated in), and he saved my life numerous times, so I gave him a pledge of honor, and became his servant as soon as I returned from war and served him and his family ever since
>so in my eyes, Ojou-sama's late father is pretty much a man worth hundredfold of other men
>anyway, the little fucker thinks it would be amusing to fight an old man like me, so he accepts the duel until first blood
>all the while Ojou-sama watches in horror, but doesn't really do anything to stop me, and upon closer examination, she actually seems happy that I came to her defense even if horrified that I, an old man in my late 40s, will have to fight this athletic young upstart
>I assign Miss Watson as my second, while the fucker assigns one of his servants
>it's obvious that the little aristocratic prick is confident in his fencing skills
>on a somewhat unrelated note, I'm pretty good at micromanaging my Stress and Favor, so this whole encounter I've been carefully spending Favor to keep my Stress level just below the Stress Explosion threshold, and good fucking riddance, because the GM has been assigning us Stress like giving out candy during this entire encounter
>and just guess what my Stress Explosion is
>that's right, it's Violence
>so when the duel starts and the little prick taunts me with his faggoty little epee, I simply stop spending Favor
>this is when I get mad
>[XIX century 'Nam flashbacks intensify]
>cont.

>when the duel starts, I pretty much throw away the epee I was given for the duel (not like I would know what to do with it) and go for the faglord with my fists
>the combination of the faglord not expecting me to use my fists, and Athletics being my high Attribute allows to pound on the faglord mercilessly
>what's important to note is that the duel is happening outside in his garden and at this point, I ask the GM to describe the surroundings
>what catches my attention in GM's description is a big fancy fountain right next to us
>you have to know what's coming next
>I grab the fuckboy by his collar, who looks a lot worse for the wear after I've done my fisticuffs magic on him, and start the waterboarding session
>it's at this point pretty much everyone present for the duel has to physically restrain me and drag me away from the dude
>surprisingly, it's Miss Watson who provides the most assistance and not the other second
>in retrospect, me and Miss Watson had a lot in common - both of us had Athletics as high stat, both of us had Violence Stress Explosion trigger, both of us did our best to protect Ojou-sama from various shitty aspects of reality - I guess the only real difference was how we approached the problem - that, and that she was a fucking yandere
>anyway, this is when I start spending accumulated Favor again and combined with the standard rules for Stress, I easily get to 0 Stress threshold at which point I can act normally again
>I start profusely apologizing to Ojou-sama for overreacting and Ojou-sama profusely apologizes in return for letting someone else get mad on her behalf and not protecting herself like a proper noble is supposed to
>all the while, Miss Watson is simply shaking her head at what just happened
>all in all, this counts as a happy ending of that particular encounter in my book (although not of the entire trip to France)

I have to take a break for a bit, but I will continue the storytime later.

It would seem the theme of this game is 'horrible things happen to horrible people.' Regardless of if they are nobility or turbolesbian.

This is a great story OP
I look forward to more

I'm liking these stories OP.

How later will 'later' be?

>tfw may end up running Maid for a bunch of horrible weebs with pleb taste in anime soon
I'm planning on having it somehow end up happening in the middle of 'nam.
It's either that, or ayy lmao invasion.
Any tips for a first time runner?

I'm pretty sure the OP is done for the day, if his previous posts are any indication of his schedule.

Shame. I hope he manages to tell the last story, these have been amusing so far.

I love these stories OP, and it makes me want to try the game.

I'll second that other user's request for general advice and tips on how to have a good Maid game.