Duardin Thunderhammer's Fortress of Ethnic Cleansing

Welcome to Duardin Thunderhammer's Fortress of Ethnic Cleansing! Here at Thunderhammer's, we entreat of you to share with us the happier moments of your lives, so take a seat, grab a drink, and enjoy yourselves!

Here at Duardin Thunderhammer's Fortress of Ethnic Cleansing, we welcome guests of all races and creeds, but if you're a filthy Elf, you shall be swiftly dealt with!

Our anti-elf security measures take effect immediately upon entering the compound, and are activated and working with 100% coverage! Some examples include:
Our front door, which leads into a large chamber, and then down a fun waterslide to enter the main park complex itself!
Our ethereal buzzsaws, which only remanifest in reality upon detection of an elf!
And many many more!

So come on down to Duardin Thunderhammer's Fortress of Ethnic Cleansing today! Fun for the whole family!

(Basically a thread about the security countermeasures and events that take place at a park specifically designed to kill elves and be a holiday resort for everyone else)

Hello I am a flamboyant homosexual elf do you accommodate me and my peoples

We most certainly do. Just come on down to our specialised Elf holding rooms, designed to accomodate you and your people. After a short stay in one of our beds, the floor will drop out into our combination shredder, grinder and incinerator room, handily cleansing your DNA from the face of the earth, and ending your suffering forever!

Okay what about spell caster elves and dimensional doors and crap

>casting spells when surrounded by good honest Dwarven antimagic runes

why are elves so retarted

Well than what about the chain saws? Aren't those magic?

Don't forget the awakened patrol dogs raised on elf meat

I can see why your sissy elf crap magic would have trouble understanding the pure strength of dwarven rune magic, which can exclude designated magical effect marked by a second rune chosen at the time of casting. At Duardin Thunderhammer's Fortress of Ethnic Cleansing, no expense is spared when it comes to fucking with sneaky knife ears.

Of course, our loveable packs, patrolling in shifts between the four packs of specially bred and enhanced sniffer dogs raised solely on elf meat. In the evenings when they're not working they enjoy lying by the fire with the guests in the tavern lodge. Such precious dogs they are.

But what breed. Mastiffs i would assume

but of course. only the finest. We find them most suitable for both the tasks of finding and ripping apart filthy elves quickly, so as to remove them from the earth most efficiently, and also for being pet by the guests, as they are quite fluffy.

Do. Web enslave the elf women for sex slaves on the black market? Do we rape them then kill them? Or are they treated the same as any other knife ear

But of course. They are useful for nought more than their meat, same as any other. The thought of breeding with one is a disgusting one, that should not tarnish the mind of any respectable mortal, and any dalliances with them are to be swiftly put an end to. Our goal here at Duardin Thunderhammer's Fortress of Ethnic Cleansing is to rid the world of the knife ears, not to make more half breeds.

No the dogs rooted out as unsuitable to serve our purposes do that

Also what idiot doesn't sterilize the sex slave

of course, but our patron Duardin Thunderhammer, last survivor of the Thunderhammer clan, bane of elves and saviour of the battle at Mott's Hill, spent many a year manually removing them from this world himself, and we must never forget our roots in pursuit of that goal.

Of course how could I forget

The kind that doesn't have time to waste performing delicate surgery on a fucking knife ear. Our doctors have more important uses of their time.

>implying delicate sergery would be required to stab them in the ueteris

well the theology of the management is hazy on the subject of elf slaves and wat do, so we'll just leave it at don't make any halfbreeds and we'll be good.

Why aren't there Thri-Kreen? They are an ultra fast, fast breeding, nonevil, quad-wielding bug race that loves to eat elves (and as they're nonevil, that is CANONICAL PROOF that killing elves for fun is nonevil) and dodge projectiles. And did I forget to mention, they're 6+3 HD?

They generally only care about food, so you could pay them in rations.

Genius, you sir are a true dwarf. May your beard grow ever longer

Hmmm, sounds like an excellent idea. We'll have to start some of them patrolling the back-corridors and the lower storage and maintenance levels where the customers don't go. How expensive do you reckon some of their eggs are and how hostile towards other races are they? Do they require training?

Get a wizard to cast hold monster and steal a few

Savage abdominal beatings work just as well and are more economical.

Wat do if we trigger the "wrath" of their girly pansy hermaphroditic so called "God"

Excellent. And we can use dwarven runes carved into their eggs to make them obediant before they've hatched. Genius gentlemen, we'll cleanse the knife ear scourge from this planet yet!

They leave their eggs wherever and wander off all the time. They don't seem to care if predators or whatever.

Unless they're starving, I've only ever heard of them attacking elves (or elf lovers in self defense), need almost no water, and are sharp as hell even when very young. They don't like humidity, though, so you may need to figure out a way to keep the air dry where they work? I have no idea.

Also relevant is that they tend to bond with whoever they are raised and hunt around.

He/she/it wouldn't dare to attack a dwarven mountain fortress. Especially considering the response the dwarven pantheon would give. We make all the appropriate offerings to Moradin, Marthammor Duin and Hanseath every night and morning. We couldnae be struck down instantly due to Marthammor's blessings, and Moradin and Hanseath combined are more than a match for their lily-livered godling.

Xi/Xer/Xem shitlord learn it

Elven hermaphrodites do seem to almost always identify with and act like men or women... or at least think they're acting like men.

Ew what is that repulsive beast

Ghastly. I'd sooner cut it's face off than fuck it. Get a load of a real dwarven woman.

>adamantine

Have spinning blades disguised as fans at elf height

I didn't notice how weird she looked when I saved it

She's slim for a dwarf. But that's fine by me

Now this is how a real dwarf woman should look

What about elves that kill other elves?

Do. they have pointy ears?