That DM

So Veeky Forums, I got magical realm'd tonight. I don't know how to deal with this. I can't go back to that game ever again.

>join a group a few months ago through a friend at work
>they seem pretty chill
>do my best to ignore awkward flirting shit for the sake of actually getting to play for once
>DM sends us to a dungeon chasing a group of Dopplegangers
>find out the dungeon is full of mimics and other abberations
>DM tells us that in this universe Mimics have a chemical that causes a strong euphoria that is absorbed through skin
>REDFLAGS.PNG
>I play safe for half the dungeon, never trust anything, send my chain pact familiar to touch all the things ahead of us for safety
>suddenly we get attacked by Dopplegangers
>I get pushed into another room
>it's a mimic
>DM has me make WIS saves to resist euphoria, I roll a 19 and fail anyway
>wtf how fucking strong are these fucks
>describes IN DETAIL how I feel pleasure instead of pain when the mimic bites off my legs
>okay fine I guess I'm dead
>nope, more saves
>I lose an arm and he makes me roll WIS again, fail and apparently orgasm from getting eaten
I got up and walked out with my bag. I didn't sign up for this magical realm, and that was way over the line. I can't ever go back there, no way am I playing a game with Creepo McVorefetish again.

So how was your friday?

Played tsuro for the first time and then bought a copy, also made burgers on a skillet and played some magic with my buddies.

God I love living around only sane people.

I wish I could find another group of sane players. I had a really good group for years out of college before my friend and her boyfriend moved out of the state and the others lost interest in tabletop. Now I'm stuck looking for local groups or online and, well, it's a crapshoot how well they can deal with women.

>Character has euphoria.
>DM says he's an edgy contrarian paladin, and fallen into Chaotic Neutral.
Wasted opportunity.

I would have much rather had a quick joke and a spontaneous fedora appear on my head than creepy fetish monsters.

>WIS saves to resist euphoria.

All I see around me for miles are fairly normal nerds playing table top without drama, where the fuck are you at?

Surprise, Arizona. Otherwise known as middle of nowhere. There's a couple game shops that aren't too far away but all the groups I've tried to join have been awkward fits.

One group was pretty friendly and cool seeming but they only play White Wolf games and that's not really my scene.

Why do you lie, op?What do you gain from it? Is it pleasure, similar to the pleasure of being eaten by a mimic?

Jesus, well fuck.

I suggest living your hobby online then, I used to live in Florida for a while and I'd guess it's similar in crazy and lack of interest departments.

Nothing spectacular. Then again, I play online with only people that do not set off red flags such as those you listed.

I've played with a woman and a girl before and had no problem with either. I also noticed the girl was impartial to sexual stuff but that might've been because we were playing maid so it is sort of expected from said maids to go and fuck each other and the NPCs...

So far, I've had some good experience with Roll20. I recommend you give it a shot, by making an account and trying to join a couple of games there. Don't try to go for 3.pf though: there are so many flakes there.

And if somebody misbehaves, tell them to knock it off.

...

Does he want to know my work history and certifications too?

Nah, only your preferences for pop-culture and capeshit.

Seriously what the fuck is up with some people ?

You gotta do something with that bachelors in HR

Actually, 8 of those questions are okay and a few of those could be insightful.
But the remaining 4 or 5 are so nauseating that I wouldn't touch that game if you paid me.

The only ones that are non-meme questions or completely irrelevant is 5, 6 and 13.

3 and 4 are for OMG SO EBIN crit role faggots, 7 is irrelevant because the player is not the character.

They all tell you something about the player.
1 and 2 are stupid and probably won't tell you anything, but are harmless and not irrelevant in a sci-fi supers game.
5 and 6 are good questions.
7 might tell something about how the player plays.
8 and 10 tell you about the player's preferences in narratives.
9 is irrelevant and 13 probably would be as well.
3, 4, 11, and 12 will reveal if the player is as asinine and insipid as the one running the ad.
3 and 4 make want to set their face on fire and put it out with a rake.

There are countless ways to better find these things out, though.

Something similar happen to one of my friends
>Have to get some Mcguffen from this dog queen
>They have in inkling he might be a furry, so they decide to run through this fast
>DM goes into a little too much detail about how fat yet beautiful she is
>She sends them to go kill some pirates that are holding her sugar cargo in port
>They mop them up quick, not even letting the head guy monologue
>After this, all she gives the party is her thanks, and a promise to send criers proclaim their deeds across the town
>Party is now pretty pissed but goes to an in for the night
>Hear a commotion outside and see one of the criers being beaten to death
>Apparently there has been a food shortage and the yearly festival was cancelled. Except the fat bitch decided to proclaim how her own private festival would go on thanks to the wonderful heroes
>Party sees the writing on the wall and try to leave
>Guards lock down the city to try and catch the trouble makers
>Turns into a city wide riot, half of it is now on fire and there are marauding bands of rioters looking for their party

They now really want to kill the queen but are not sure if the DM will pull bullshit or not but so far its not as bad as they thought it would be

1 and 2 are not harmless at all, answering them any other way than "irrelevant" shows that they're mouthbreeding manchildren.

8 and 10 tell you nothing about their preferred narrative, because a TT RPG is much closer to a book than a film. The fact that someone is able to easily name their favorite films at all should be a surefire warning sign.

You're right about 13, that leaves 5 and 6 as non-retarded questions.

Obviously 3 & 4 are there to weed out the EBIN 20 LOL kiddies. If you have an epic tale to tell about the time you rolled a 20, then you are not suitable player material to begin with.

You're giving the average DM on roll20 too much credit.

Tha doesn't actually sound bad but pretty clever in fact. Your friend is probably worrying about nothing.

>Something similar happen

Hold on m80. Besides the weird furry shit and the pirates just sitting around waiting to be killed in a port, the story is actually ok, and nowhere on the level of "you are being eaten alive, piece by piece, and let's go into a disgusting level of detail about it while I jackoff under the table"

I like 5 and 6. I'm also fine with 1 and 2 as it's obviously a joke question designed to weed out insane fans who can't shut up about shit.

>shows that they're mouthbreeding manchildren.
Or people with opinions
Breathe, user. Breathe.

>8 and 10 tell you nothing about their preferred narrative, because something would do it better
Now you're just being silly.

>Obviously 3 & 4 are there to weed out
>You're giving the average DM on roll20 too much credit.
This.

By that logic, the one running the ad plans to reject anyone willing to waste their time answering the ad.

>it's obviously a joke question designed to weed out insane fans who can't shut up about shit.
I think all of the questions are designed to weed out those who answer "wrong".
But I think it's too much to hope that they're joke questions.

I agree, there's a world of difference between magical realm adjacent and
you see before you the mighty whizzard, and the sky becomes overcast with yellow rainclouds which will soon drench the land

Maybe you could try and stay in touch with the White Wolf group? If they're sane and friendly they might know other sane, friendly people who tend to stay away from the scene for the same reasons you do.

>Dog people
That's kind of a red flag but everything else seems acceptable.

....yeah.
Contrast and compare, pal.

That's pretty cool.

I doesn't understand vore and find it off putting, but a monster that make you feel good while chewing you is absolutely fear inducing, a fucking monster that I will absolutely reuse in my games.

Yeah, OP just needs to grow thicker skin. Far worse things happen in RPGs pretty regularly.

...

I like putting horror elements into my games as well, but it's never magical realm stuff and I always tell people ahead of time that things might get dark or creepy, because the first rule of horror is that the player's have to play along so to speak.

I recall there is some sort of terrifying insect or ant or something in africa that is able to paralyze a creature through some sort of saliva and then proceeds to consume it. You could see a swarm of them eating a cow while it was still standing. Almost a quarter of it was gone and it didn't react at all.

there's a world of difference between "monster that make you feel good while chewing you" and "monster that make you feel good while chewing you in great length and detail which is unavoidable and clearly designed by the DM to cater to his weird fucking fetish"

>mouthbreeding

>a monster that make you feel good while chewing you is absolutely fear inducing, a fucking monster that I will absolutely reuse in my games.
Look up Lyekka from Lexx.
She's a bro tier plant who's arguably the most likeable character in the whole damn show, but otherwise basically the same thing.

Are you hot? If so you can join our group ;^)

>Playing a campaign with some ransoms off of roll20
>Second session in I wrote down a lewd joke about another character in the NPC notes
>Never told anyone it was me.
>It's caught on and now everyone thinks that character is horny even though the player says he really isn't.
What do I do? It's funny, but the dude clearly doesn't like it.

I don't know, he said that the DM spent way too much time describing her and that he tends to put in furry esk races. Though to be honest that twist sounds like it would be fun