You suddenly become a fully armed and armoured Tactical Marine (gene-seed of Roboute Guilliman), in the exact position you are now. You still have your personality but all of a sudden you're 7' tall in socks and you're a master of combat and tactics.
What do?
Break my chair.
masturbate
This.
And fall through the floor
This and now my desk is fucked.
Break my chair, probably my desk as I fall too, and by extension my computer. Once I figure out a way to connect to the internet, I make a thread on Veeky Forums asking what to do.
Cosplay
RIP toilet.
Become some kind of athlete I suppose.
Make enough money to live out the rest of my hundreds of years lifespan in pure decadence.
bully nerds at my school
>Not boasting on Veeky Forums with your new body pics.
yea, join nba and get a max contract
Well it would be one step closer to answering if marines can have sex/kids or not.
Suddenly explode out of my dinky-ass Kia Soul, then proceed to rip my way out of the driver's seat and drag it behind me in a march back to my house.
The local headline will read:
>Florida Man Tears Free of Car, Drags it Five Miles Down the Street."
Become a mercenary for hire / executive protection making dosh, be extremly frustrated because no matter my genetic superiority i can no longer bone my gf or further my lineage because in not a space wolf.
Realise that the moment any of the governments figure out what I am that I'm fucked, probably stay inside my house for as long as possible and try to convince the world through as little face-to-face contact as possible that I'm doing steroids and hardcore workout from some sort of psychological crash. Then, and only then can I start pretending I'm still a Human and not something to be put in a lab.
That'd be what I would do after I recovered from the fall.
>mirin my physique manlets and lanklets?
>Veeky Forums
You mean /soc/.
Tactically acquire the new "He will not divide us," flag as a gift for our new chapter.
Sell my armor and weapon to the government
Live comfortably off the proceeds for rest of my life
Die from gene-seed rejection.
Build army; conquer lands.
In the grim darkness of the second millennium there is only war.
KILL URKS
Today I chill, see what sort of things I can do, check out my armour and whatnot.
Tomorrow morning I jog on down to GWHQ (thanks spess marine jogging powers, probably would be even quicker than getting the bus down there) and go have a chat with the guys there
With millennia of battle experience and tactics, I launch a campaign to unite the disparate factions of the world into one in preparation for the emergence of the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind.
Anyone that doesn't get with the program falls prey to Ork snipers.
Well i'll assume that comes with the enhanced intellect as well. I'd play the long game and create an actual Illuminati like organization and prepare humanity to kick alien ass. That or i'll join the army, or the local circus. Maybe cheat my way into the Olympics.
fpbp
>this
>N-no, what makes you think my additional heart and lung should count as doping?
Well I'm in the middle of class, Greek myth and we are talking about Herakles so probably just convince the class I am a demigod? Then gtfo
and that's not mentioning the black carapace.
>What do you mean having bullet proof skin is cheating?
>fully armed and armored
go to the middle east and become a hero for BTFOing ISIS solo.
>maybe my saliva can melt his skin of, but he shouldn't be able to hit me anyway!
tfw can't climb stairs
>I break my chair, desk, computer, wall, etc. and spread the debris throughout the entire shop.
>Boss comes in and scolds me on making such a huge mess.
>Tell him that this mess is nothing compared to the galaxy that needs a good old fashioned purging of all the non-human lifeforms that pose a threat.
>He tells me if I don't clean up the mess I caused I don't get my lunch hour.
>I pick up a broom and get to work.
Such is the life of a wage-cuckstodes
first i need a base of operation for the proper rituals and caring of the wargear.
then i contact the brothers of my chapter and seek orders.
if no seargent is there, i will take command of the squad and start to deliver some aimed attacks to the rotten governments of this forsaken planet.
after i secured the planet with my squad, i will try to contact back the chapter, if is not reacheable i will continue to preserve peace and order and starting to recruit neophites for the founding chapter
What if you're completely alone?
>Greatest day for your body.
>Destroy your computer by accident/crush you phone by holding it/rip a hole trough you tablet.
THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL!
Narcissism is healthy in body building, but you wouldn't know that cause you're fat as fuck.
>what do you mean i can't compete on the 400m dash because i run as fast as a cheetah?
>what do you mean I can't participate in the caber toss because I can juggle cars?
I regret that I am not a techmarine, but go looking for heretics to purge anyways.
Omnissiah damn it, why'd you have to depress me?
Astartes Olympics would be so fucking fun. They would even hold it on Mount Olympus on Mars. The passing of the torch is done in the radiation blasted waste of mars naked.
>we are here today to witness the melta toss competition
>later today is the 2000 meter terminator armor dash followed by powerfist boxing
I am in nursing college. I stand up from my computer, and watch as all the students gaze in horror. The police will be called, that much is certain. But before I leave for my greater purpose, I charge through the doors, leaving behind shattered metal as I let loose a blood curdling scream. I leap onto the second floor and crash into the black deans office. I grab the bug eyed wench by the throat and use similar tactics to grab my black professor. I walk to the edge of the second floor and hold the, aloft as they choke for air and scream, "....NIGGERS" I throw the, down and watch the oxygen thieves fall. If they're not dead already, inleap down onto them. I bum rush through the door, for I know my target. I draw my weapon and scream, "SSOOOORRRROOOOS" and gun and run through the puny bullets and armor of any resistance I meet. After I stand on the broken body of soros, I come out and point to the news cameras and the camera boys shitting themselves for their minimum wage jobs. "DEUS VULT, DEATH TO THE ILLUMINATI" I go on a crusade across america, fueled by info on illuminati members by people who praise me as a hero. When my jobs here is done. I will disappear. And I will appear on the sands of the Middle East, where my true crusade begins
Why isn't this a thing?
It is now.
>/pol/ gets superpowers
>space marine rugby
I mean offices have sports teams right? Why can't SMs have some sort sport they play other chapters in? Honor duels just lead to butthurt.
See if I can try out for the NFL as a runningback.
I say only one thing.... Blood Bowl 40k
But that's a different thing. I wanna see some highly non-lethal, supermen shenanigans.
Do I have power armour? Am I a psyker? If the answer to both is yes then I impersonate the emperor and bring this backwater slum back into the fold. If the answer is no then I join UFC and rake in the dough become Kharn and burn the world.
I'm going to need a new bed and floor and cat.
It says you're fully armed and armored.
Depends on if still have Schizophrenia. Does my new Marine brain fix that? If it does then I go join up with the military and break some heads. If not then I suppose I just cosplay a Space Marine all the time.
Shitpost on Veeky Forums how natty I got. Then shitpost on /k/ that their ARs and SCARs an go suck dick compared to my bolter.
Probably go research or sell knowledge of this tech to the US government or something.
Probably also break my chair.
ditto
>Not seeking to rendezvous with Chapter Master Alex Jones
Trash.
He said untramarine not blood raven
> (gene-seed of Roboute Guilliman)
Dig my gene seed out with my combat knife and throw it in the trash where it belongs.
Probably join the army. Boot camp (the physical part at least) will be a breeze.
I too dig my spare gene seed out, but sell it on ebay.
Stare down your drill sergeant if he gives you lip.
'Tis presently the third millennium, broseph.
Honestly I'd do my best to go along with the drill sarge if he ever started dressing me down. I'm too empathetic to just clash with someone unless I actively dislike them. Also don't want the other recruits getting mad at me.
What age can Space Maroons reach again?
I don't believe they can die of age.
It varies wildly on who's writing.
Debatable. Blood Angels Chapter Master is considered very old at 1k, but Kharn and Ahriman have been kicking around for more than 10k.
Kharn and Ahriman are chaos champions, that's not really the same thing. They'd probably be fine being at their age even without gene enhancement.
sometimes they wither, sometimes forever, each author has his own autistic reasoning.
I suppose aside from smashing my way out of my office because now I'm a 7 foot tall giga nigga space marine with all the combat exepeirence of one I suppose I start a private military business hiring myself out to people and get sweet custom made gear (because you didn't say we get our gear and even if we did I'm not breaking it out for anything short of another space marine).
I look forward to dual wielding pistols that shoot .600 Nitro rounds.
>fully armed and armoured
Honestly I mostly just use my superfitness, enhanced focus and lower sleep requirements to get more shit done with my life.
Selling off my future gear to become rich is pretty sweet too.
That's what I get for not reading all the way.
Also, I would do porn because giga nigga BBC.
Would they keep the black carapace on you or remove it in editing?
How do you explain being covered in interface plugs and having a visibly weird ribcage?
Keep all the armor on except the codpiece
The black carapace is literally bonded to your body is it not? Can't exactly take that off nor would I
I don't, just something else to admire while I'm spearing bitches (male and female) on my Space Marine BBC
The black carapace is internally implanted dinguses.
Speaking of which, I think it would be pretty hard to get back out of the armour without a qualified tech priest to unhook you.
Also, does this make me a female space marine?
Your house must be really shoddy.
>make the smuggest "manlets, when will they learn?" thread in recorded history
Wait until the morning. Then I march. On foot I march, singing booming battle hymns, as rallying as they are terrifying. I march, clad in all the vestments of war and a terrifying sight to any that see, and I invite them in glorious song to join me in unifying humanity, starting with this country. Few heed my call at first, but I march steadfastly to the capital, a trip that takes me about a week. By that time the news is awash with tales and videos of a giant; armoured head to toe and brushing aside any attempt to stop him with maximum shock and awe but also minimum loss of life, which is to say none. I march inexorably through my city, then along the highways, calling all the while for more to join my march to end the corruption, the uncertainty, the doubt, the pridelessness, the humiliation. And they do. Slowly at first but exponentially more for every body that joins my march. I reach the outskirts of the capital at the head of a host of hundreds. By the time I'm at the city center the march numbers in the tens of thousands. The military attempt to stop my progress with terrified men and unwilling guns, and I ignore them utterly, save for an invitation to join me. Those that do swell the ranks behind me, those that do not join soon give up on their guns as their bullets ricochet harmlessly off of hardened ceramite. I stand now in the building at the heart of the executive capital of the nation. And before the eyes of the nation and the world, I declare that this nation shall be made anew. And so I do it. Over the course of a half-decade, I assume the position of head of state. And the country is revitalised, all industry turning towards the production of the means of war. And then I go on tour. Not to the capitals of the world, but to the villages on the border, the downtrodden places robbed blind by those who claim to defend them, and offer peaceful annexation. To any military attempt to influence the decisions, I offer a swift defeat.
>female space marine.
There is no such thing, reeeereeeeeeee.
Guess you just had a surprise sex change.
If it makes you look like Zaraya then yes, only bigger and with access plugs on your body. and super huge boobs because why not.
So the domain of order spreads rapidly across Southern Africa. With every major member of government vetted personally by myself and a grisly death for those who fall prey to the lure of money, the country is able to absorb the new territory without skipping a beat. The people annexed truly want to be part of this rejuvenation, they were flooding into the country before, and now they swarm in in unprecedented numbers, fleeing their homes and towards the Emperor's Light even as it expands towards those places they once inhabited. All are accepted, and all are given a duty; whether with the forge, the mine, the farm or the battlefield. The nation is turned ever more towards a state that is capable of waging war on a permanent basis, and it does so, fueled by the people and expertise pouring in from all directions. There are angry threats of retaliation, but they fall flat in the face of military might and an endless series of externally validated plebiscites proving the desire of all the absorbed peoples to be part of the newly kindled flame in the heart of Man.
By the time half of Africa is unified, whole cities are spontaneously defecting without my having ever visited them. I have survived innumerable assassination attempts, but I never lose patience. I am the Emperor's Angel, and I do his work be it done by peace or by war. Through cunning diplomacy and manipulation of dissenting voices within the more developed nations of the world, I begin, far more slowly, the process of turning their people to my light. It takes time, diplomacy, and an endless game of playing off the great powers of the world, but eventually Europe is seeded with movements ready to join the light of mankind. And so, even as the last city in North Africa signs themselves into the fold, the first city in Europe requests protection and unification. From there, the dominoes fall rapidly. With Europe in the fold, the world does not cling to independence for long.
>drop and give me 20... hundred...
>...goddammit marine at least have the decency to breathe heavier and look tired
South Africa would actually be the perfect place for a Nazi Germany -style rearmament-based economic boom. The nations around us are poor and almost universally hate their leaders, and South Africa's own territory holds ludicrous quantities of just about all the resources I'd need. So long as I could keep the world's media from painting me as the villain, as long as I could consistently be the good guy and prevent civilian casualties at all costs, as long as I could bring camera crews into the warzones and show them how hard-drilled my soldiers were, and how their training keeps them from ever harming civilians. If I could get the first few villages to join peacefully, and make sure the word spreads properly and quickly enough that the next few do too. If all of that can be brought together it should be possible to unify the world over the course of a few centuries, starting right here.
>gene-seed of Roboute Guilliman
>What do?
Break my tablet because of my Astartes sized hands, and start working all the local bars as a bouncer.
See where I go from there.
Would you set your Captial in South Africa?
That said, if we have all of our 40k tech and the knowhow to use it, fuck I'm going to Mars and starting my own country and invite people to do the same.
I'd join you user.
What if the being that will become Emps turns up and slaps you 'cause humanity isn't ready yet.
To the pub!
Bet I can get a few free drinks
Fall to chaos, become the instrument of perfect holy murder, maim and kill and enslave this pitiful world.
Then maim some more.
This. I'll use my superhuman speed, agility, and strength to be the best runningback there ever was, and no more will /sp/ laugh at da Iggles!
You're now male or you're dead. Geneseeds inside a female are a no-no. Hell, IRL me getting a kidney from a las and likewise to her already increases the high chance of failure.
Cry because i am not from best chapter and think about how am i gonna get out of my room without tearing any goddamn wall