Bard

To be honest I was giving +8 to everybody in attack and damage at 6th level bard, plus with snowflake wardance I was giving myself a bonus to +13 to attack and damage at that level. I was as good as the Barb at killing shit in melee, not as good as getting hit though.

I mean, a flute doesn't really work that way. You don't blow directly into it; you blow across the lip plate. You'd need a plug in the back that you closed when you wanted to play the flute, and then a different plug to go over the lip plate (along with all the open keys) when you wanted to use it as a weapon. With all that fiddling, and considering that a flute is too short to be a good blowgun anyway, you might as well just carry two different items.

You put your fingers over the holes dipshit.

>it's another "my bard's instrument doubles as their weapon, isn't that epic?" episode

could use something like panpipes I suppose

Those would be even shorter. You need length to accelerate the dart while it's in the pipe; otherwise you'd be better off just throwing a dart by hand.

They come in a large variety of sizes, user. You wouldn't be hard pressed to find a set that's about the right size

Well, my dick gets a bonus to smiting, might as well use it as a weapon.

That looks like a shitty guitar, and porbably a shitty rifle as well. Why did you bother?

You can use a normal wooden flute as a blowgun. So yeah, go for it.

>that picture

I've always liked axe butts as mallets thing, if we're being honest.

Or have it made of two cylinders where you just rotate the outer cylinder to cover the holes.

Wooden flute in the style of a recorder? Sure. Metal flute that plays sideways? No.

with that size you might as well beat the shit out of them with it.

true, but my point was more that there's probably as size that's about correct for a blowgun in between the two extremes

all art is already theft. You think Samurai Jack was the very first piece of fiction to think of a blowgun/instrument combination?

Yes. Most appropriate as an assassin's concealed weapon.

>Run DMC
>Muse
>Daft Punk
>Misfits

Speaking of Bards, did anyone play a Bard Necromancer before?

Would love to try that shit out since I imagine using undead that you pretty up using either some illusion spell or a ton of costumes/make-up/perfume as your background dancers when performing something could be pretty funny.

Why not a ring gun?
Or cane gun?
Or pocket watch gun?
Or fork gun?
Or shoe gun?
Or shirt gun?
Or spear gun?
Or sword gun?
Or flute gun?
Or bow gun?
Or helmet gun?
Or shield gun?
Or lantern gun?
Or club gun?
Or backpack gun?
Or... you get the idea. There are a lot of ways to hide a deadly weapon in something mundane.

Admit it. You just want to recreate Michael Jackson's Thriller.

>blow-gun

Contrabass bazooka or get out.

I would never even try to talk my way out of that accusation.

Wish I could dip into Bard with my Necromancer. Love using odd solutions to any OOC interactions or trying to talk/distract my way out of situations but sitting on a terrible 7 Cha really limits my possibilities.

>Or shoe gun?
But where will I put my phone then? Don't say my other shoe, that's my whiskey flask.

Have you tried your socks? They're basically bags already, might as well put your phone in there with your bare feet.

YES BROTHER, MELEE NOIS- er... BARDS ARE QUITE STUPID

When it comes to bard and thieves It makes sense for them to play dirty. Pouch of sand or crushed glass, Blowgun pipes, knocking at the door of a dungeon room and stabbing/conking anything that opens it. i always love the kind of scoundrel-type character that isnt afraid to have an edge in combat. After all when its a life-or-death sitution, would YOU be all up and noble about it? Chances are you'd be looking for a beer bottle to crack and throw before he even draws out his sword

Don't forget the gun gun

Makes sense. There's literally no sensible reason this wouldn't work. Most importantly because it's fun.

Oh yeah, of course.

All my bard's stringed instruments double as highly ineffective blunt weapons.

>Shoot gun
>Vibrations throw guitar out of turn
>Guitar, instrument designed to vibrate, fucks with barrel harmonics

Jesus Christ as a /mu/ and /k/ person this is the worst combo imaginable.

Big. Meaty. Flutes.
I love the idea of harmonic or sonic weaponry. Maybe something akin to an extended trance or stun would do it for me. Blow gun could be cool too but I'd much rather use the sound of it in creative ways, setting willing of course.

>not using your lute/harp/guitar/bass as a bow

You uncivilized roughian.

>bard
>guitar has an extra chord as a restraining whip
>when you play that chord it deals damage
and I go all this from flip flappers

It's ok in our book. Because things shall get loud now.

Well, there goes every tabletop game ever played.

zombie strippers/hookers right?
there's been a shoe bomb so why not?

>Big. Meaty. Flutes.

So tell us about band camp user...

I'm not much of a follower of 40k, are those guns what they replaced guitar-bolters with? They seem so samey and boring.

Why would GW actively take steps to give a faction or unit less personality? The idea of Noise Marines shredding on guitar-guns hard enough to literally melt people's faces off is quintessential to my internal idea of Slaanesh worship.

Instead it's just [autistic shrieking] the gun?

Yeah, they kinda made the switch around 3rd edition, when a lot of the humor in 40k was toned down in favor of grimdark. The sonic guns are still technically experimental instruments that were modified into weapons, though. Sorta like someone weaponized an amped trombone rather than a guitar.