LISTEN 'ERE YA GITS. WE'Z JUST COME BACK FRUM A RAID ON DEM ELDAR GROTZ...

LISTEN 'ERE YA GITS. WE'Z JUST COME BACK FRUM A RAID ON DEM ELDAR GROTZ, AN' I NEEDS SUM MEKBOYZ T' FIGGER OUT WOT IT IZ, AN IF IT'LL MAKE GOOD DAKKA.

OI I TINK IZ A ROKKET 'R ESPLOCIVE SORTS

>WOT IF

>HEAR ME OUT, BOSS

>WOT IF

>WE PUT SPIKY BITZ ON IT

>DEN WE PUT IT IN A SQUIG

>AND WE TURN DA SQUIG OUT ON DA 'UMIES

BAWZZ! ITS GOT WHATS ONE OF DEM HANDY BITZ U PUT YER HAND ON! ITZ A HAD WOMPA!

SOM KIND OL SHODDY "UMIE STABBA?

>OI OI OI
>IM THINKIN IT SHOOTS SUMTHIN BAWZ!
>LOOK IF U PUT YA MITTS HERE, AND YA HOLD ONTA THIS DONGLEY HANDLE HERE IT LOOKS LIKE ITS ROIGHTLY SIZED FOR A GROT!
>OR MAYBE DA POINTY EARS GOT GITS LIKE GROTS AND DEY GIVE DESE THINGS TO EM

OH YEAH, HAR HAR, OI'VE SEEN UNNA DESE BEFORE, OI HAVE! HAR HAR, YER ALL SQUIGHEADED SNOTLINGS FER NOT REALIZIN' WHAT IT IS!

IT'S A POINTY EAR ROKKIT! THAT LITTLE POINTY BIT, THAT'S A STALIBIZING FIN, FER HELPIN' IT FLY JUS' RIGHT WHEREVER IT NEEDS TA GO!

IS DAT WOY IT'S DAT DISGUSTIN' OFF-RED? IT'LL GO PRETTY FAST, BUT NOT TOO FAST?

'Eh Bawzz... Oi tink dat nibbly bit ovva dere is summ kinda shooty bit.

Oi Oi, OI TINK DA DONGLEY FING BLOWS AP! DA GROTSY POINTY BIT MAKES DA BOOMY FING FIT DOSE GROTTY HANDS DEM ELDER GROTZ HAVE!

JUST FINK OF 'OW MANY BOOMS WE GOTZ IN AHWR MITTS IF WE LOOT 'EM!

WAAAAAAGH!

YOU LOTZ NEEDZ DA VISIT DA MAD DOKK CUZ YER ALL ZOGHEADS!

DA PANSEES DON'T CARE ABOUT LOTSA DAKKA OR ROKKITS LIKE US BOYZ! NAH, DIS UN IS FER SCRATCHIN' YER BACK. IT'S FER REACHING!

'ERE, LEMME SHOW YA!

YEAH? YEAH? ZOGGIN' MADBOY!
SCRATCHIN' YER BACK WIF A BOOMY FING?
DATZ ROIGHT MAD PROPPA!
HAW HAW HAW!

OI! LEMME SHOW YA!

SEE, WHEN YA START SCRATCHIN', IT SHAKEZ. DAT MEANZ IT LOIKS YA!

EY' RAIZE BOSS, DA MEKBOYZ ASK FUER WHERE YA FOINDED IT? SAIS DHER SOMOR INS DAE JUNKPILE BUT NOONE EVER NUS WHAT THE ARE

Da squig iz just sittin der gigglin to itself boss...
Oi think eh' loikes it.

It's probably some sort of Eldar ear massager or something.
Can I be released so I can get home now? Pretty please?

SHUT IT YA HUMIE, WE'Z GONNA MAKES IT GOOD N DAKKA DEN WE GONNA TEST IT ON YA TA BE SURE

please put warhammer in the title

DAS IT BOIS
IZ NOTTA DAKKA, IZZA HAMMA
ROIGHT TOINEE HAMMA FAR ROIGHT TOINEE ELDAR GROTS
HAW HAW HAW

Fuck your filter.

Everything about you is disgusting.

I hate that you exist.

You make the rest of humanity look bad.

ask yourself, are you being the sort of person Mr Rogers would want you to be?

OI, YOU WUT? WE'Z THE BIGGEST AND DA MEANEST! AIN'T NO SCRAWNY HOOMIES, YE?

Orks being scousers is the biggest mistake 40k has ever made.

They are cockney, not scouse.
Completely different region and accent.
Never would they tell each other "Ehy mate, calm down an' haff some chehcken."

whatever. Its a mistake. its the only last remaining hangover from the 80s.

I for one await the inevitable grimdark ork reboot.

OI YA GITS, CANT YA SEE DA GENT-ILL-ORKS ARE TRYNA 'AV A CONVERSASHUNN OVA HERE!

AND I RECKON ITS ONE OF DEM ZOGGIN MUS-A-KILL INSTRUMENTS, WHACHAMEKALLIT, A ROCKER OR SUMTING!

So what? Is it a hightech aneros or something? What is it?

It's a vibrator.

OI, LOOK AT DIS GROT RIGHT 'ERE, THINKING 'E KNOWS BETTER DEN US.

Oh, what a dumb shape. I guess the traditional rabbit style has fallen out of favour

>I guess the traditional rabbit style has fallen out of favour

Not so much. People are just trying all kinds of weird shapes and gimmicks to make their toy stand out. I'd honestly be tempted to give the thing a go, but I don't have £130 to burn on another vibrator.

>on another vibrator.
How many do you have

Three. Plus two non-vibrating toys.

Degenerate

Why isn't one enough?

Wash your tainted hands before touching food, you filthy sinner.

NICE. Any BD products, or do you prefer normal ones?

Why isn't one enough? Not pulling your leg or anything, just curious

Any butt stuff?

Because variety is the spice of life?

Different shapes and sizes give you different feelings, or vibrate at different speeds. Some of them are older toys that I still like enough to hang on to, even if I've upgraded to better, more expensive things since.

Any BD products
Yep. A Xenogon.

Nice. Been tempted to get a small one of their line to see if I like butt stuff. How's the quality?

Dis thred turned roight un-orky real fast

With the first post, what were you expecting discussion to lead to?

My honest respect for the people who managed to roleplay as long as they did.

You kidnap us, ask us what shit is and then get annoyed when we talk about it? Just feed me to the squigs then

>How's the quality?

It's excellent. The texture is great, the detail feels amazing. Mine's a medium so it's nice and large without being stupidly oversized, like some of the toys they do, but it's waaaaay too big for butt stuff so I can't attest to how it'll feel using it up there. Definitely recommended though.

>but it's waaaaay too big for butt stuff so I can't attest to how it'll feel using it up there

Then what do you....

Oh right. Girl.

>uses weird xenodick
>girl
You should have known anyway.
I love watching those videos of girls using them, they're just quite rare

Another BD owning user, can confirm that they've got really fantastic quality. Small Clayton, easily comparable to myself, and the smaller size makes it really convenient for butt stuff.

>tfw you ordered a custom Hazel two weeks ago and it'll be here tomorrow

DLFG?

How is the packaging when you order something from them? I live with my parents

I can take a picture if you don't mind waiting a second, still have it from ordering a Janine (which ended up being less-than-great).

Me too, user. This is the first time I'm having it shipped directly to my house, too, used to have a buddy as a middleman.

That would be nice, thanks

Also, we /adv/ now

Lucina for scale.

The outer box is pretty plain. The little bag that the toy is in inside the box is opaque black with their logo in a metallic red. One side of the bag is clear iirc

Any time, mate, glad to be of help.

But yah, shit's super discrete - nothing on it, not even the label, suggests "DRAGON DICKS INSIDE," return address is only a place in Phoenix, AZ.

Thanks a lot
Now it's time to see if they have anything that can interest me
They probably do

The central part goes into the vagina whilst the second bulge OWO massages the Libya or whatever the g spot on a woman is called

>Wo-class
Good taste

Clitoris. That's what the bunny on some style of vibrator is for, it rubs the clitoris or it gets the hose again

why has noone posted the funstick yet?

Goodluck and godspeed, wish I hadn't gotten rid of all of my toys.

why had you done that?

Paranoia, was moving and the box I had them in fell apart so I stashed them as my friends were moving other boxes. Didn't realize I had stashed them in a bag of junk and they got tossed into the dumpster.

I've never made any videos or anything, but yes, I'm one of the people sharing their experiences in this thread.

Yep, their service is very private. I just said I'd bought something off Ebay from a guy in America.

sounds bad

ok, I think I must do it then

>the Libya or whatever the g spot on a woman is called

How old are you?

Well then as a courtesy and because this got pretty awkward all of a sudden, there's a motherless gallery of you with your toys and a couple gifs floating around. I got one from here a year or so back. You may or may not wanna try get them taken down if they are indeed you, the guy who posted it was pretty sure.

>there's a motherless gallery of you with your toys

There isn't, because I've never posted that sort of material on the internet, nor sent it to any of my old partners who could have done. I've seen the gallery and it's not me, so whatever.

Huh, the guy who posted it seemed pretty sure of himself. My bad.

20 but I'm gay so never really cared about learning this stuff
And although I'm in to twinks that's where I draw the line on degeneracy no traps or shota for me

saddest thread on Veeky Forums

How is that thread sad?
Did you ever go on /adv/, /soc/, /b/, /pol/ or /r9k/? The saddest threads are in these boards

This desu.

What the fuck is this thread? For a second I feel like I've been sent back in time to Old Veeky Forums.

You have. It's time for your quest.

I sense vore
and I like it

Boy, this thread got more and more interesting

WOT DA ZOG IZ EVEN GOIN' ON AT DIS POINT???

DIS IZ REALLY DIZGUSTIN' IT IS.

We have arrived, and it is now that perform our shitpost.

In the name of the Mod-Emperor, our undying lord, and by the grace of the golden throne.

I declare reportinatus upon the imperial thread of Veeky Forums.

I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire thread, and consign a million anons to banning.

May moderator justice be fair in all balance.

The Emperor protects.