Flesh to Stone

On a statue you just get a corpse. Valid candidate for Magic Jar?

>Inert Gargoyle kept in place
>Shape stone
>?????
>Demona waifu get

It would still be useful for tunneling through rock then

What would grilled boulder taste like?

Chicken.

Yes, actually.
If you smack that, you've hit rock bottom.

Just fucking a statue in front of your friend like that seems a bit weird but whatever.

Description says 'inert and lifeless fleshy substance' so I can't imagine it would be any good.

But who knows. maybe make it a point to seek out every different kind of stone to see what they taste like, and find the best ways to cook it as an adventuring geologist gourmand.

Does this mean I can be an ethical necromancer by carving statues, turning them into dead bodies, then raising the bodies as undead?

You're still releasing negative energy into the world and making the entire planet marginally more shit as a result.

Oglaf's setting is pretty big on casual, public sex outside of maybe a handful of secret virgin cloisters.
It's more or less recovered from an apocalypse of slut mobs.

That depends on the edition now.

Necromancers aren't evil in 5e?

What happens if I cast stone to flesh on a castle, and then cast animate dead?

What would I get?

Jumped by the castle's owner.

Also a new Flesh Juggernaut.

>You can affect an object that fits within a cylinder from 1 foot to 3 feet in diameter and up to 10 feet long or a cylinder of up to those dimensions in a larger mass of stone.

You would get a legion of horrifying flesh tubes

That was not always true, but now it's more the source/origin of negative energy animating the dead.

Now they're just animated with a crude semblance of life, not specifically negative energy.

Oh, THAT explains it.

It sounds completely fucked up and morally wrong, but like, whatever I guess.

The Flash kinda did that. Left him in his museum running in slowotion.

Depends on if they remain conscious somehow and if there's a hell in the setting.

Stone to flesh is wonderful, one could sculpt entire intricate organisms, organs for necromancy and projects, hearts in rituals, and so on, even macguffins.

>Flesh to Stone
>Transmute Rock to Mud
>Craft (Stoneworking)
>Transmute Mud to Rock
>Stone to Flesh
Magical plastic surgery

Speaking of, has anyone ever sculpted a marble vagina?

>Transmute Rock to Mud
Only works on natural (i.e. not worked or magicked) stone in some editions.

I've seen a bronze vagina but I don't remember if it was in marble before. Probably not.

The game still points out it's almost always only done by evil people, and if you let your upkeep slip that evil undead monster is going to bust out and start slitting up people. The undead monsters you make are still Evil.

In the most technical RAW, Flesh to Stone makes the target into completely normal, nonmagical stone (if quirky in the fact that it can be Stone to Fleshed back to a living creature), and wouldn't be considered "worked" until someone takes a chisel to it.

>Oglaf
>coherent, intentionally planned setting
You fell for the meme. Oglaf is a series of nob-sequiturs, and that's it.

news.artnet.com/exhibitions/32-ton-marble-vagina-traps-us-exchange-student-46442

Literally the first fucking result. Unfuck yourself.

Accidental coherence through chaos is still coherence

We're all coherent chaos stemming from primordial goop, after all

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Someone made a vagina kayak and then paddled down a river in her own cunt, of course someone's done something as mundane as a marble one

btw that's a dude :^)

underrated

...

That same someone was later arrested for obscenity after uploading a 3D scan of her vagina to the internet.

In a country where it's OK to parade a giant wooden phallus down public streets, carried by underdressed children eating dick shaped chocolates.

She's a pro-vagina activist or something for whatever reason.

good. Vagina's are gross.

Makes sense to me, Satan!

Well that was disappointing. At least have some fun with your vaginashape.

Trips of truth.

Ain't that some shut. Obscenity charges are all hivey jivey butter churning bullshit if yask me.

I mean, even beyond consciousness and souls, displaying the equivalent of taxidermied bodies of people is kinda fucked on its own.

That's more just a a consequence of being undead, not just evil.

That gives me an idea for a plot where the majority of the town is fed via rocks. It's a mining town/city where prisoners are sentenced to the mines where the unwittingly mine their own food and the food of the towns folk. Savvy players might notice the lack of livestock in the farms, with an exception of one with dairy cows and chickens under the shelter of the mountain.

Wouldn't that make more sense for a dorf mine?
Where they have dwarven caster's whose job is to convert stone from the mines into food.

i like you.

No because the lord of the town owns the mines, the livestock farm, and the butchers. The other farms have trouble with predators killing their livestock, so the benevolent lord sends prisoners to work the fields for a modest tax in lieu of beasts of burden. It's not like the lord has some manner of control over the beasts, right?

>Being trapped in one spot forever, unable to feel or speak, while people comment on your ass.
Sounds pretty bad desu

>This is my hole
>It was made for me!
>Drr drrdrrr

>Become known as one of those statues that grants luck/fertility/whatever when rubbed
>Trapped in one spot forever while people line up to grope and fondle your body, still able to feel everything

then Inertia was freed and blew up a baby

ahh, but why not instead cast stone to flesh on a mountain and make a flesh golem?

It's probably really hard to transmute that much stone to flesh all at once, and would probably take enough time to do it one part at a time that most of it would have rotted away by the time you were done.

>Other men work with iron, bronze, steel and silver.
>We call them squeamish.

That's...uh...that's fucked up.

Dwarven Meatbread is a terrible thing.

Fucking kek user.

You'd have to make the mountain a golem to begin with - easier to grow an immense flesh golem and then cast flesh to stone on it.

Would you like to pair your Granite steak with a dry Amethyst wine, or Peridot perhaps?

But they're now statues in a museum so its art.

Oh my, an innocent user.
Do you know a lot of serial killers have their bodies impaled/mummified and ready for people to see in some museums?
Not even joking.

>trapped in one spot
What if, after Flesh to Stone, you get Animate Object with Permanency?
Or what if your stone form is used as a body for a golem?

>What if, after Flesh to Stone, you get Animate Object with Permanency?
>Animated objects are under total control of their creator
Well at least you'll get a front row seat to someone else ordering your body around

>Or what if your stone form is used as a body for a golem?
>Golems are controlled by bound elementals
See above

Could be worse though, could be hit with stone sculpt or something along those lines first and be changed into something else first

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>Cold, hard, lifeless stone
>versus warm, soft, squishy flesh

It is.
Dwarves get out reeeeeeee

What if the construct is ordered to do whatever the spirit within wants it to? You could potentially end up controlling a stone golem shaped like your old body able to run on autopilot if you need to focus on other stuff.

Why shouldn't cyberpunk and the Singularity happen in a world of magic, too?

Mostly yes but not entirely. Animating a corpse is frowned upon but not Evil. So zombies and skeletons are okay I guess. Yanking a soul from beyond the veil and smashing it into a corpse to give it true unlife however, that's the good ol' perverting nature and the natural cycle Orcish worship it's always been.

And most undead are sentient, having souls.

At least they only say good things about it. The janitor only cums on it every third tuesday when the schedule lines up and he's alone with her for the shift.

BRAAAAP

How would it be able to tell what you want though?

Correction.
>flesh to stone
>stone shape
>stone to flesh.
Craft stonework is a part of the stone shape spell.
There is a trap that does exactly this called the faceless angel. Party member is turned to stone and gets their face smoothed over. They suffocate and die if you don't stone work their face back before you. stone to flesh then. If you dick up the stonework roll their new face becomes an inert mass of useless flesh resembling a face and they still die

hmm...

This is exactly why I prefer the pathfinder ruling. Just fucking imagine this:

Get a big rock.
Polymorph Any Object the rock into a statue of an Elder Wyrm.
Stone to Flesh.
Animate.

Alternatively, you could do the same to the rest of the party by starting with Flesh to Stone.

>implying
Say you took a fat lady and made her skinny by removing part of her stomach, yeah? On stone to flesh, she's missing her gut. When you rearrange the mud that was someones face, those features are actually moving. resculpt someones face to be pretty and you could end up smearing lip-meat all across their face, and replacing their eyes with skin balls

>Flesh to Stone on the party's manly fighter
>Stonework them into a statue of an absolutely stunning woman
>Stone to Flesh

salty milk and coins.

Why does everyone think stone to flesh correctly figures out which parts you're intending to be made out of slightly different kinds of flesh. It'd be either homogeneous meat or it would remember from your FtS casting and any changes you made would've merely made them a hideous abomination

Why not just animate the stone wyrm?

Petrification is the lazy man's transformation.

>(You)

Inanimate TF is my fetish

i love oglaf but this one was always fucked up to me

Probably because there's not much rape in Oglaf.

Rape fantasies aren't uncommon amongst women.

I've always imagined the writer to be a fat sexually frustrated redditor.

Imagine living in ancient greece and working/polishing that ass for years to get it to perfection.

However, we can do better.

She's actually a skinny, sexually frustrated, modern feminism brainwashed, dyke-looking weird cunt.

...

Surely the stone remembers his original form. I mean, if I cut a flesh to stone person's finger off and then turn them back into flesh, they wouldn't suddenly just have a 4 digits in one hand, they'd have a bloody stump as if someone had ripped their finger off.

So that stunning woman would be as if someone had taken a blade and cut the fighter's body into the shape of a stunning woman.