Think of a Space Marine chapter (chaos is okay)

>He steals my house.

Great.

>Salamanders

Aside from the possibility of my house burning down I'm OK with this.

>live in a fourth-floor walkup

uh-oh.

Salamander roommate would be bro tier for life.

Just really off putting to look at.

>Get home late
>Salamander turns off light in entry way
>Pitch Black except for two bright red glowing eyes
>"Welcome home, friend."
>Followed by a large toothy grin
>Still can't make out his facial features

Your house was gifted.

>Emperor's Children

JUST

My room mate tells me I should lose more flesh and that flesh is for the weak.

Crap, word bearers
>walk home, find entire house has been deticated to the dark gods
>crap

Fuck yeah White Scar bro, to ride motorcycles with.

>black templar
The living room is now training grounds for noviciates.

Doesn't say much outside of 'ALL IS DUST', but he plays a mean piano.

>Hey roomie, you got a second to talk about our lord and savior, Chaos?

...

Iron Warriors... fuck my life.

>Emperor's Children
I'm going to have a fun time or a really bad one. Probably both at the same time.

>Iron Warrior roommate
At least he's into 40k and plays the tabletop.

>Jesu- I mean by the Emperor, Callus why are you sitting around in the dark?

>Because i have I don't want to make you waste money, I can see in the dark. Also it's bad for the planet if you use too much energy.

>Night Lord roommate
Finaly batman is real
and kills people
FUCK YES

>World Eaters
H-hey dude. I'm moving out. No, actually I won't be taking my things. You can have them.

>Yeah, but why? Don't you have to get up early to venerate the Emperor? You were just kinda standing there.

>I also do not require sleep and I was cleaning. I also have baked you supper friend.

Death Guard
It's fine except for the space aids I'm gonna get.

remember Nurgle loves you

>plague marines

Well, this is going to get real disgusting real fast.

>RRRRR WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP MOVING OUT OR GOING TO LIVE ABROAD!? THIS PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH MY HEAD HURTS! I'M SO LONELY! >: (

I'd have to help him overthrow things and ruin people's days just because ...go alpha legion I guess.

>Also I replaced all of the kitchen utensils with custom made master crafted ones.

>Oh wow, you sure are a great room mate!
>It's fine friend, it's just my service to the community!

>You still kept the old ones, right? I don't feel comfortable using this butter chainknife. Or this power oven mitt.

The downside is that he's constantly setting off the smoke detectors.

At least the whole block loves him and he's a pillar of the community.

It's like living with a randomly assigned roommate in college. Hope you like slightly higher-than-background humidity and the rich scent of onion.

>Word Bearers
Good thing I'm a fan. Especially after he finds out that his entire world is the creation of GW. He'll need a hug after that.

>Dark Angels
Uh... Okay?

>Dark Angels
He kills me in order to protect the conspiracy when I ask why he constantly leaves the toilet seat up.

>Iron hands
Better delet this.

>Raptors
I never see him but he keeps asking me if I want to go camping.

>Carcharodons
Stays in his room alot, till the neighbours dog began shitting on our lawn. It got... bloody....

I have to get used to waking up each morning with more cybernetic bits.

That pretty bad for me, because I take forever when I'm in the bathroom.

>Alpha Legion
Whose house was it to begin with?

I think he's more like that roommate that uses your stuff without permission.
Less horrible, more annoying.

"Hey, where re my nachos?"
"They were gifted."

"Hey, did you use my PS4 while I was gone?"
"It was gifted"

>"Sup Alpharius"
>"Oh shut up, I already told you to stop this stupid meme, I'm NOT Alpharius!"
>Or am I?

>ultramarines
Everything I ever wanted to acheive in life is done perfectly, although it was a hard and long journey, my ultrabro kept me going until victory was acheived. Also blue is my favorite color now and I do not understand what a challenge is anymore.

I say "PRAISE THE IMMORTAL EMPEROR!"

He just stands there doing nothing and leaking dust out of his armour joints.

>Dark angel
>goes through my browser history to check if im a fallen
>kills me for heresy
K

>Red Corsair

I find all my stuff stolen by a space marine pirate. He hides his "booty" in the guest room.

Seeing as how most space marines are LOLALPHA, angry, hateful, bigoted, and incapable of compromise........I either try to find a way to get him kicked out or I move. I cannot for the life of me see how a space marine from any chapter would be fun to live with, no matter what positive aspects they might have.

Buzzkilling faggot

You must be a blast at parties

>Space Marines suck
>Is obviously a heretic for spreading blasphemy about the Adeptus Astartes

>black legion
Good news is, there's no imperium for him to try to overthrow. Bad news, I'm not sure if I'd be able to convince him of that. All in all, I could have picked a worse traitor legion.

Get called a faggot for not being ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!

He takes the knot.

>ultra marine
Always reminds me how he's the best at everything. And cannot complain because it's true and the house and food have never been better

Pls don't ever enter your infamous rage, Blood Angel.

Salamanders

Bros for life achieved.

I don't know he might get sad if you don't play with an Iron Warrior army due to the inferiority complex they have.

>think of marine chapter
Minotaurs, because they are interesting.
>check spoiler
No, not that. I'm fucked. I'm so fucked. Pls no. I'm so not ready for this.

Never heard of that chapter before. What's their dealio?

They bully other Space Marines. And are presumably the High Lords executioners, so they sport the best tech and can easily replenish losses. Think of them as the guy who shows up to a casual game with a full Skyhammer and Gladius Strikeforce and Grav out his ass. Then multiply it by grimdark, and there you go.

>The Minotaurs possess a reputation for being unusually xenophobic Astartes, even for the Imperium, as well as often unreliable combatants who do not work well with other Imperial military units.

>Descriptions of the Minotaurs of old are of a force of berserkers that made war with savage abandon and eschewed all contact with other military forces.

>Furthermore, on the rare occasion of the Chapter serving alongside brother Adeptus Astartes, the Minotaurs have displayed such open contempt that all manner of recriminations have ensued, up to and including the fighting of duels and other low level hostilities. It is often reported that the Minotaurs are disdainful of all other subjects of the Imperium and that they radiate a malign intensity that makes even the boldest Imperial general fearful of approaching them.

>a reputation for being unusually xenophobic Astartes
Holy fucking shit

but, what would he play then?

>White Scars
I now own the most radical motorcycle in the state.

my sides, in orbit

>Noise Marine
Nothing changes.

>Alpha Legion
I'm going to get murdered to preserve the secrecy of whatever he's doing

>implying that you weren't a sleeper agent in so deep that you belived your own cover

>a sleeper agent in so deep that you belived your own cover
Something something Scanner Darkly.

Steak nights always the same..raw. But at the very least neighbors are quiet

>most rad motorcycle
>now requiring a weapons license instead of a driving license
Now just paint it red/green, and it might be the very best motorcycle ever.

Tyranids.

>Lamenters

We're going to get along very well.

>Soul Drinkers
Shit, he's probably going to get me arrested because of his attempts to stick it to Da Man.

Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you

>Pain glove intensifies

Pre or post heresy? Very important distinction.

Get him a kitten. Everyone loves kittens, even chaos.

>state
The marine you have chosen is a disappointment to his legion.

>Son of malice wanting to eat me.

Jokes on you. I'm fat.

>Alpha Legion

>It started innocently enough with conversations about the nature of Trust, Identity, and who truly benefits from specific actions.
>After that he started givinge tips on acting, costume, hacking, and how to evade security.
>Now I'm sitting in a coffee shop in mainland China down the street from a naval base with two other people I've never met, but had both the hydra tattoo and knew the code words, waiting for the go signal, wondering just how I got talked into this.

>So... Ahzek... can you teach me sorcery?
+No.+
>Then how's, uh... how's Magnus?
+I'm busy.+
>Oh yeah, cool, cool, I get it. It's fine.
>So... did you ever find a cure for the fle--
+I said I was busy.+
>...
>You... want some help with that, or--
+Leave or I will destroy you and use your soul for my amusement.+

>Salamander

I like to think he would make some amazing grilled food

>Emperor's Children

Well, I guess he's going to critique my painting... loudly. ;_;

...

>Raptors
Stuff just appears and disappears. You learn to stop thinking about the sticky notes he substitutes for conversation.