Tell us about your favorite PC of the all the ones you've created

Zen Archer Pearl Diver Amazon who comes from a temple ship and guards against piracy. Had a magic arm tattoo and a veil of stringed pearls.

I once had played an Noble/Musketeer Type Character from the Horasian Empire, which is basically Italy in the Renaissance but with more Venezian Influence. Fancy Clothes, Fancy Hat - the Complete Programm. But then I thougt, all peoble I ever heard of playing a horasian fencer or sometihing similar play them as cheesy machos or priggy womanizers. So I have made my character a androgynous semi-shota guy, that the whole rest of the party don't take seriously, even he is the only one that hat visited a school.

sounds neato

SO

NOT

FIST

ANDROID

WOMEN

Half orc barbarian/bard

liked to play power ballads on mountain tops during thunder storms

Mardek the Male Human Fighter. I made him with the purpose of creating the simplest character I could imagine because the DM made every other character concept unplayable for me. He had no backstory, or to be more precise, I made up his backstory as I went along, so he was actually the most developed character in the party.

Dragon blooded Sorcerer who became widely known as "Tavernbane" due to an unfortunate tendency to spew molten lava when heavily inebriated.

First name Mister, surname Rodrigues, the questionably Puerto-Rican Fruit Salesman in Romania. So named by a doped up mother, who did shortly after. Mister Rodrigues sold fruit and wasn't entirely sure of his actual heritage, only that it was 'south american'. He was a big believer in the power of avocado - for health, for peace, and for bludgeoning people with a sack of the things and using the remnants to make guacamole. He was also incredibly stupid, to make up for the fact that I was doped up to my fucking eyeballs on pain medication at the time because hooray surgery.

Mister Rodrigues was a character in a game of Alpha Omega set in the modern day as an espionage game. Mister Rodrigues was quite unsure who the nice people in the rest of his cadre were, but they bought fruit, gave him jobs. Mister Rodrigues did his best to keep them healthy - they got hurt a lot. Mister Rodrigues watered the plants. He cheerfully cut out kneecaps of folks who really should know better than to investigate why the fruitstand occasionally vomitted out 4 people who couldn't possibly fit inside and seemed to contain infinite fruit (it was a cover to a stairwell). He kept his underground surgery in there.

Mister Rodrigues died screaming when he tried to sell oranges containing information to an Anunnaki hunter he had misidentified as a contact, giving himself away in the process. He was only around for three sessions, but I liked him anyway.

You fucked it up, user.

In anima beyond fantasy i had this wizard/warrior hybrid with average intelligence so he could just barely learn three spells but had a fairy thing sustained by my mana so she was the caster of the two it was fun A shame someone on the party decided to betray us all just because and lead to a chain of events that wiped all the fucking party

Thanks, it is quite nice to play him, cause he can quite good disguise himself and through his androgyny my DM gave me a bonus on crossdressing. It is really funny to escape trouble trough this, and as his is a charlatan (Some lesser form of mage, they can only perform funwair wizardry) he can change his hair or eye colour, grow a beard and some bullshit like that, which is quite helpfull.

That's a hard one, but my favourite is Hr-80, or at least that's what I remember his name as being.

He was an EoE droid bounty hunter who was obsessed with perfection, so I played him like the bastard child of Cell and a probability calculator. Among other things, he once recalculated the amount of pay the party would get after a job, considered switching sides if it meant getting more pay, obsessed over his gun to a frankly unhealthy degree, engaged in a game of holochess with the Trandoshan warrior in the party and only barely lost and shot a scientist in the back because he was running.

He was a fun character.

Playing a waterworldesque DnD campaign with floating islands, merchants, pirates, sea monsters and shit.My DM basically said " powergame your ass off" and handed over 100k for equipment and 20 levels...this was an epic level campaign. DM was lenient in the sense of "If you can explain it and can find no rules that bar it, I'll allow it".

I started looking through literature and due to a literal typo in the level adjustment of an Xvart in DRAGON that month...it had a -2 level adjustment. fucking paydirt. I asked if I could use multiple races in a cross and my DM said "sure but you must pay full level adjustment for all races mixed and any at 0 are +1 LA for this you cheeky fucker" :) pleased as punch.

So I went with the idea of an alchemical bred super soldier whose parentage was diverse via magic and explained the reasoning though the journal of the mad alchemist. DM ate that shit up.

Fugly was technically an ampibious xvart, Draconic half minotaur...yeah. Thus why called "Fugly". He was a Large creature resembling a minotaur with dark brown fur over patches of fur and blue skin and purple scales. He had horns knurled and spiraled but set like a bull with silver eyes and minotaur face with SHARP teeth. He had cloven clawed flippers and webbed claws.

Fugly spoke all the languages of trade, was at home above or in the water and could see perfectly fine in the dark or low light. He could track by scent, was not dazzled by sleep spells and never got lost in a dungeon. He was sharp eyed and humorous...He was sneaky and a fucking murder machine.

He used a sword sized way too big enchanted to writhe and grasp like the tentacles of an octopus to trip his enemies. He was a pirate king.... A glorious magnificent bastard who would first try to trade with an enemy and failing that would try bribery, then threats, and last utter skull crushing.

He had a Caravel with purple sails fringed in crimson and wore mithril maile colored the same. He was SOOO much fun to play.

Well, it was a Dungeons: The Dragoning 40k 7th Edition game.

Her name was Minami Redhawk, and she was a Kenku Wraith Gumage/Bigshot with some Slaneeshi tendencies, namely alcohol and perfecting the art of shooting to the point of being able to nail your brains with a shit gun across the horizon while roaring drunk.

The game was set to be about a bunch of talented misfits herded together and made into Not!-Suicide Squad in Space with Magic.
Her backstory revolved around her growing up on her dad's ship, who was a big bounty hunter and mercenary, basicly James McCloud but as a bird. To bad he and his crew got killed and after running and hiding for a while Minami also found a very, very messy death. That caused her to go "I am not done!", and come back as a wraith to find and kill whoever was responsible for this, wandering the galaxy for quite some time, leaving a bloody trail in her wake to get her vengeance. Being undead and all she almost got killed for good by some Raven Queen Space Marines (so basicly a squad of Raven Guard Van Helsings), yet the local government saw a better use for her by putting her in that misfit-quad described above as repaiment for saving her unlife. They had some bargaining chips to get the Marines to fuck off.

She was supposed to be the "a gun for every situation" character, but with elemental bullets. A sniper rifle, a shotgun, plasma pistols, melta gun, minigun, bow & arrows. If it could shoot, she had it on hand and would kill you with it.

Notable moments include airdiving into the mouth of a giant Sand Serpent and shooting it from within with an anti-tank weapon.
Sadly the game fell apart rather quick, so there was not much time to do anything else and i guess all this sounds rather cheesy. But as a forever GM that rarely gets to play this was the single most fun character I ever made and still rather tame for a D:tD game.

Not the Android, at least.

Would it be possible to fist a warforged?

Captain Mairn Soar. We were playing a Pathfinder pirate campaign, and she was the leader of the group. Chaotic neutral magus who sailed the high seas for adventure, loot, and freedom.

She was the kind of chaotic neutral where she was only loyal to her own ideals, but wouldn't stir up trouble where it wasn't needed. If it didn't benefit her directly, she didn't do it. Though she did once start an elven uprising against one of the largest factions in the world for shits and giggles.

Her highlights include doing utterly insane amounts of damage with her falcata, successfully recruiting a navy admiral to her crew, and somehow critting a monster that couldn't be critted.

The campaign ended when her crew ended up destroying all magic in the world.

Yep.

And of course it was during one of the few sessions which I couldn't attend.

Pic related, it was the profile picture I used for her.

So far my favorite is a fox-man (random roll in DM's custom system/setting) garbage noble whose left the declining empire he was born into to pursue fame and fortune in the free cities of the south by attempting to start his own merchant empire.

Right now all the jobs are handled personally but one day he wishes to have the luxury of mainly doing desk work and schmoozing while increasing his family's (and by extension his personal) renown.

So far he has made some minor contacts with a moderate sized association of caravaners, met with/did a job for a (previously thought to be extinct by the empire) dragon, and solved the mystery of why the shopkeeper he helped on his first mission seemed to act weird around him/the party (she is a yuri/yaoi fangirl thinks any two people of the same gender who seem fairly friendly with one another are romantically involved).

I am currently playing him like Zaph Brannigan with the exception that he isn't pursuing sex just tries to be more suave and seductive than he actually is to get his way. It has been a bit of a mixed bag.

good taste, user.

I had so many PCs that I loved, that it's hard to pick favourites.
If I were to do a top 3 list, then there would be:
1- A minotaur mage/berserker gentleman. Very refined, very well mannered, cultured and calm, until you poked the wrong buttons at which point he became a beastly murderbeast.
2- Goliath Barbarian, that at the end of the campaign ascended as goddess of strength, and protector of the small ones. She adopted so many huge pets which due her being able to make them sentient became her kids. Funny enough, prior to ascending she had a strong phobia of giants despite her being around 10 feet tall.
3- Large dogman which was practically the Greater Dog, with the strenght of a titan and the brains of rocks. Personality similar to a dog, loved everyone and everything. Huge glutton. Extremely friendly with everyone. Shit luck with saves though. Great asset to the party and great comic relief as well due his shenanigans.

user, this is a beautiful idea and I like you. I hope you had fun and I wish you luck.

Of all the PCs over the years, it's still gotta be the autistic clockwork wizard who tried to implement a magocracy in her homeland and then became Adolf Hitler: Magical Girl and turned the entire thing into a phyrexian-style nightmare.

She got NPC'd and reappeared later as a major villain who had declared war on all organic life.

They don't have any genitalia or waste orifices so no.
Unless the warforged in your setting are sexy gynobots designed as pleasure slaves, then yes.

>Unless the warforged in your setting are sexy gynobots designed as pleasure slaves, then yes.
Your's aren't?

Caldax Godelyl, 4e Drow Rogue, Evil alignment. Setting was one that drew on only a few overall D&D tropes and guidelines, mostly set in an island empire that was a mix of Rome and Jamaica with a good dash of Asmodeus worship to boot. Also, had mage colleges that were a mix of Illuminati and Harvard, so that was fun!

Anyway onto the character. He was an outcast from drow society since he honestly did not mind the company of non drow. That was about the only decent thing about him. He had a love for money (this setting used magical amber) and a desire to see the world. Also to ruin peoples lives in strange and creative ways.

One mission had him sneak into a temple overlooking a semi-active volcano's caldera that was dedicated to Asmodeus to steal back a banner to give to some merchant or some shit. Ended up killing a bunch of acolytes before hand while sneaking in, and once he had his greedy mitts on the banner he got seen by a guard or something. Drow magic to levitate out and, thankful all they saw was his back (not even his race), he changed clothes and delivered the goods. Party wanted to hit up the Inkwells (Illuminati Harvard guys) to get some magical gear but Caldax gave no fucks and convinced them to instead go pirate.
After capturing some vessels as well as transporting a princeling back to his homeland for some mad loot, they got a job to steal something called a "sea bottle" from some asshole. Going to Back-Fat Isle (named after the obese walruses) which held a fighting tournament a la DBZ or some shit, we stole the sea bottle and made our way home. On board, convinced a sailor to take a drink of the viscous liquid inside which transformed him into a raging treant. After knocking them over board, Caldax knew what he must do - use this fabulous drink to poison a city for fun and profit!
Before that could happen though, the bottle was picked up some shit holes with even more magic than Caldax and gang could bear on them. More incoming...

Well, usually it's indicated that the majority of warforged were designed for waging war. It's in the name, even.

So, after getting back to the mainland, Caldax was hired to try to figure out where some other magical artifact that had up until recently been in the hands of a local mob boss had gone off too. Figuring to check the shadier dealers in town, Caldax ended up getting snubbed by one of them in their little pawn shop. Breaking in to ransack the place, Caldax killed the dealer and nearly killed said dealers pregnant daughter but was stopped by her fiancee, the town guard captain (shits corrupt, yo). Fleeing and setting fire to some building to draw attention away, Caldax brooded and decided to try to find the daughter, kill her and sneak off with the baby to raise all dark lord style and shit.
Sadly was not to be, instead being counter ambushed by the daughter's cousins and fiancee. Killing one cousin and the guard captain, Caldax found himself needing to flee to another city, the one he had, in fact, killed all those acolytes in even.
Getting a job to steal some other artifact from the temple once again, the merchant who originally hired them doing so once more since he was so good the last time, Caldax sneaks in and gets to the room he was told to go to. Ambushed again. Fucking merchant sold him out for fat reward money (who knew parents hate it when you off their kids?). Leaping through the stained glass window, Caldax found himself over the volcano's lava pool. DM laughed and laughed saying I could only levitate so far as per that levitate ability Drow have. I laughed too since I had gotten "continuous levitation" that level and just floated away once more.
Fled that city, pissed, and was convinced by party to take another job from someone they knew. Wound up on some island where he got killed by a swarm of grells.

I fully intend to resurrect this asshole and bring him to bear on a new party someday...

3.5e Drow Wizard, in a game where we decided to play straight up absurdly evil drow in Forgotten Realms, because we were tired of Drizzt.
He was a skinny misanthropic fuck who took the fleshcrafting skill from lords of madness and used it to attach all his fancy magic gear to his body so he couldn't be disarmed. This was a great idea until we got a few draws from the deck of many things and I got most of my skin and half an arm amputated from the "all magic items on your person instantly vanish" card.

He also kept trained bats, which he hid inside his absurdly oversized robes and acted as a renewable source of bat guano and smokescreens in the event of combat. Few things are more distracting than a swarm of bats to the face.

Making them sexy metal women aren't gonna affect their combat capabilities too much
Plus it solves the "What will we do with the army of robots when the war's over" question

>Telling your self aware warbots they're now going to spend the rest of their days being eyecandy and/or getting fucked
Are you trying to start a rebellion?

Is this from a "do not fist androids" thread?

Robots just want a utility function/purpose to follow, and to be allowed to follow it. If you made their initial purpose ONLY war they would probably balk at reprogramming because new utility function prevents completion of current utility function. But if you made sure to include both from the start you're fine.
As long as you don't try to change what they do, and make sure whatever original purpose you give doesn't eventually overlap with "kill all humans" both of you are happy.

Played EotE for a while, my first character is still my favorite. corelian human slicer. Dumped everything into tech related skills. Ended up not being able to hit shit but it doesn't matter when you can hack the controls for the airlock in the station and vent the section into space. Solved like 4 separate fights that way. It might have just been my DM who made it so memorable, he really knew how to roll with our shenanigans and make the best of our stupidity.

Orsen the Alligator (Lizardfolk)
A male alligator-lizardfolk standing a little over seven feet tall and weighing in at just over six hundred pounds.
He was discovered by the party out in a marsh they were exploring, they followed the sound of a lone trumpet playing an upbeat tune to find him sitting near a fire enjoying the afternoon sunlight.
He spoke with a creole accent and his vocabulary was simple. He valued the comfort of good food, drink and friendship in life more than the need to acquire wealth that many adventurers have. He easily befriended many people he encountered and would prefer to throw a feast over throwing a punch, leaving very little bloodshed behind him throughout his career.
He wanted to see the world and explore the flavors of it, to get to meet new people and discover new cultures. He was fortunate enough that for the most part he was able to do this.
His favorite possessions were a simple spear he made himself to go spearfishing with, a trumpet he acquired from a travelling bard, a filigree ornate necklace of gold that was large enough for him to wear, an enchanted hip flask of whiskey that replenished itself every morning, and a peach. Peaches were his favorite food.
If it ever came down to a fight, he was competent with his spear, and he was not above clawing, biting, and swatting with his tail. He would prefer to strike for subdual damage if it was something that could be knocked out and possibly left to wake up peacefully later.
His adversary was gravity, his nemesis was stairs. He fancied neither of those things.
He had a crush on the party's barbarian. He thought she was incredible, admiring her power and finesse in combat, as well as her firm yet kind manner of speech.
He met his end in a dungeon, falling prey to slimes, leaving behind only a skeleton when they had finished with him.
His bones were recovered and buried beneath a peach tree, and the party disbanded soon after that.

ded thread

A High Elf that left his homeland to seek adventure. Spent money freely to help others, had a kickass group, was always involved in major events, but never talked about.

Joined a mercenary order living in the Dwarf lands, helped build a massive fortress and extensive spy network. Dwarf lords waged war on the humans then demanded we help them for free cause we lived in their lands, even though our agreement was to leave us out of wars. We refused, so they kicked us out, set up a massive wall in the valley and used our fortress as an army HQ. They got their assses handed to them by the humans so we snuck in the secret entrance to our fort and reclaimed treasure from our hidden vaults. The fort was destroyed, the order broke apart, but at least we all departed with some items and money.

From there, moved into the Human capital. Used my funds to invest in a wood elf's architecture bussiness. He turned out to be one of the best builders in the land, and with humans expanding and gaining wealth he had a lot of work. Gave him more money to build a tavern that became a hot spot for all the affluent in the capital. Had the wood elf build secret tunnels and a base under the city then set out to make a new order with my old compatriots while having plenty of money.

First, a human highlander that had become a minor lord in a kingdom under the Empire's control. His village was a decent farming hub and his noble status plus martial prowess would help greatly.

Next, a dark elf who was a scoundrel and always rubbing the law, but whose loyalty to friends was undeniable.

Then, a female assassin. Usually busy, but talented and deadly. Could call on for extra support.

Finally, a wood elf female that was a pure beauty. Kind, well liked, very social.

Together we formed a new order under the human capital. Hunting monsters, fighting in wars, and helping people.

>God, I miss my friends and I miss having time to roleplay. Nearly weep thinking about old times.

You and I can RP, if you want ;)

>*she undresses her clothes in ur mind*

Wikus, he was a deranged Afrikaner who moved to London to find work. He became a Ratcatcher who accidentally adopted a thieving orphan and eventually started working for the Labyrinth of Tigers. He ended up getting cursed by the many faced god and having the Correspondence for Doom carved into his chest while he was passed out. He went toe to claw with a snuffer and managed to kill the Snuffer and only temporarily die as a result. He stole a repeating rifle off of a devil and became the party sharp shooter. He died a second time when he fought Mr. Wines, but managed to beat death in a game of chess and come back. Things were great until two members of our party transferred from the local community college and went to college in SoCal and a third member had a giant conniption fit because our DM likes being a NEET and for some reason that bothered him to no end.
>God, I miss my friends and I miss having time to roleplay. Nearly weep thinking about old times.
I know that feeling all too well.

That is fucking gorgeous. You're a good kinda fella.

Would you like some storytime?

FUCK YES I WOULD

Is nier: autonama a "not-so-secret" unrelated to Veeky Forums game that Veeky Forums likes? I would like that.

Ok. Lemme finish up what im doing. Pick one:

>the uphill battle
>the barbarian qt's strength
>succeeding a hide check

>lost my /a/ version of that

Damn it

While I alot of combat monsters, ny current character is slowly becoming my favourite just from the actual RP itself. It probably helps that not only is she getting fleshed compared to my old favourites but the other party members are willing to RP together to make all of our characters seem more like family to each other.

(I suppose that my catfolk and the kobold got into a loving lesbian relationship that i can't help but end up drawing. Relationships of actual love hit me deep.)

Remember the Plain Doll incident? This is pretty much round 2, now with optional shota flavor.

I got caught up watching star trek by accident.

One time, Orsen got to be the subject for a feat of strength by the barbarian.
>Hanging out at the tavern/pub after dungeon
>Feelin' hungry after all that hard work, decide it's time to order some food
>Barwench hands me a pamplet with what they can cook, take one look at it and push it back to her while circling the entire thing with a finger
>"Are you serious?"
>Slap some gold on the table and wink, offer to buy whatever anyone wants to eat or drink tonight.
>Kitchens light up like the building is on fire
>Sounds of sizzling, chopping, scraping and flipping barely heard over all the cheers and merriment in this establishment
>Get moved to a large round table, party joins, we get to drinking
>Food starts to come out, arrives to table, don't even bother wasting time with formalities, slide that on over here!
>Great feast is had, wind up drinking way more than any man, elf or gator was meant to
>Can't say the same about the dwarf, he's still going
>Just sort of relax in the chair, don't even worry about it breaking, feel warm and sated, definitely inebriated after failing several rolls to alcohol
>Wind up unable to get up, too fat, too drunk
>Management is telling us that we need to get out so they can clean up, they appreciate the generous business and the tip though, they're going to not even worry about closing up for a few days for maintenance and restocking
>Barbarian decides to take charge, grabs me and hoists me up over her shoulders, carrying me on her back

>DM has her make a strength check, passes with a fairly good roll, she has an obscene strength modifier anyway
>Get carried across town, drunk off my ass looking around and trying to talk to people
>Townsfolk see a human barbarian fireman carrying an oversized alligator that's making a mix of growling and burping noises
>Make it back to an inn
>Get set down next to the fireplace, rolled onto my belly, and the qt barbarian sits on me, using me as a chair while he rests, exhausted
>Fall asleep to her rubbing my tail, she throws a blanket on me and then heads upstairs for the night.
She got bonus experience for roleplaying and succeeding an intense test of strength.

*she
I'm tired, going to sleep myself. If theres interest i can post more

Gnite

A talking sword who was once an ultimate blacksmith seeking to create the strongest sword in the world, and he succeeded so hard that the final product ended up stealing his soul and forcing it inside of it

He had no son to carry on his blacksmith business but he did have a lazy daughter, another player's PC, to carry him around
She didn't care for fighting or swordsmanship, though, and was also really sleepy and spoke almost entirely in haiku

together they fought crime

Could everyone hear him?

All right lads your about to find out about the worst PC to play with.
> Decided to play a fun goblin warlock (fun meaning that I wasn't going to use eldrich blast but use more utility spells)
> Rolled up stats: 3 STR, 13 DEX, 12 CON, 9 INT, 10 WIS, 16 CHA.
> Fuck
> The goblin was called Grub. He was abandoned as a child but was found by a lovely elven lass.
> She took him to her paladin monastery where her peoples took care of him as if he was one of their own.
> He had a great childhood and when the elves found out he had latent magical abilities he was put into cleric training.
> He hated it. All of it. The good boys and girls, the happy families - Grub yearned to be the edgy teen bad boy.
> Because of that he decided to strike deals with demons in his spare time and open up a couple of gates to hell through out the holy fortress.
> You know - the average teenage angst.
> Because of this one particular demon lord - Khagarath - decided to lead this goblin to become his knew mortal champion.
> To protect the frail Grub the demon sent out a Dire Wolf - Skraggy who also has an in depth backstory - to follow him through his organ trail (see what I did there)
> SKIPPING LOTS OF BACKSTORY
> Now Grub rolls across the lands, one of the oldest goblin - killed many times - using necromancer and will affecting spells to make up for his shortcomings.
> Grub rolls with his wolf (the saner of the two) serving his patron and striking up debts with others.
> Grub causes chaos and dismay wherever he treads and changes adventuring groups every so long. He longs for a simple life but burned that bridge long ago and fears he wouldn't know how and as such drowns out that inner voice in those of the screams of his victims as well as the drugs that come along with his Rock and Roller life style.

I have so many great stories with this shithouse character and lost just as many friends.

Lets hear some then!

You're gonna have to expand on how you destroyed all the magic in the world. Also nice profile.

What is your most bizarre adventure to date?

>mage/berserker
Explain.

Sounds like shenanigans I use in FTL when I get boarded.

Is it bad that I want to hug your character? Well, not the remains, but if it were alive and well?

>Marvel: The Adventurers
I love it.

Lucky bitch.

You need to share some stories, then.

Oh geez, qt. barbarian chicks are the bomb. Post more plz.

My Shadowrun Face. A human who was deathly allergic to soy and a wanna be corporate suit more than anything. He had no scruples and a savage sense of business, so he started selling meat to ghouls.

I got a lotta nuyen at character creation and blew 75% of it on an armored garbage truck that had more gadgets than a James Bond vehicle. Fucking thing could stand up to several shots from an RPG, crush garbage, and store up to twenty four human bodies without difficulty.

Since we were based in Detroit, he spent his time bagging the corpses he collected on his runs and selling them off to Ghouls. Eventually he realized that they already had corpses so he started a laundromat/fast food joint, selling hoodies and other clothes to homeless people (Who he sometimes fed to the ghouls). We picked up a bulk order of those little fast food burger boxes, and he had a contract with some street docs to get the discarded organs from their patients.

When he wasn't running his shop, he was sleeping in his garbage truck and killing homeless people because he was technically homeless. Anyone who tried to steal his truck got the doors locked on him and the driver's compartment flooded with Bliss smoke. He'd usually dump the would-be carjacker at the city junkyard for the Ghouls, or throw them into the crusher in the back if he was feeling particularly insulted.

The game slowed down and kinda died, but I hope it'll kick back up again. I wanna see where his story goes.

Orsen, Undercover Spy
>Party asked to help find an assassin who was sent to kill a local lord in a port town
>After some investigation ranger and rogue manage to discover that he's going to be meeting up with someone at a waterfront restaurant that night
>We head there and watch from a ways off, see the assassin in formal wear paying a visit there, meeting with two gentlemen at a table on the far side near the water
>Realize one of them is another well-to-do lord in the city, and his goons are keeping a good watch out.
>No way we're going to be able to get in there because they'd immediately recognize adventurers, but we need to listen to that conversation
>Get an idea
>Decide to get into the water and casually swim on over, get close and listen
>It works, close enough to hear about a plot to have the guy we're working for get killed in an "unfortunate accident" at an upcoming fireworks festival
>notice that they've taken the conversation towards the railing of the establishment, are talking and are right above me.
>They look down and pause for a moment
>"Is that an alligator?"
>One of them throws their dinner into the water
>Think about it, then quickly decide to go after it so they don't get suspicious
>Or so I tell myself, I was just really hungry and that duck smelled wonderful.
>"If you mess up again, I might just have you chained and thrown in the water here with it."
>They continue their conversation, then part ways
>Wind up spending some time lurking around, getting occasional scraps thrown in the water
>Get hit in the head with a breadroll and see the ranger up top looking down at me, "So, what did they say?"
Later, we wound up stopping the assassin, but before we could interrogate him or use him for a confession he managed to slip himself some poison. You win some, you lose some.

It is I! The most bizarre adventure so far either has to be the mission were sent on by the dragon or our adventure afterwards where we went to deliver a message from the previously mentioned shopkeeper (she is mainly an enchanter).

The dragon sent a rare (pure white haired) lady of my fox-man's race to get us from our town. She seemed weirdly detached and inhuman which we later learned was due to her being a six (?) year old biological construct the dragon formed from the his memories of my people. Also she kinda fades from people's memories after a while (like Exalted's Sidereals). The dragon's herald led us through a small village (where I picked up a dreamcatcher since my PC is fascinated with curios from lands foreign to him) and to a remote mansion in the mountains. Eventually after enjoying all the facilities of the mansion night came and we all went to sleep hoping to meet our employer in the morning. In our dreams though the Dragon spoke to us in a collective dream he put us in. He told us an illegal mining operation on his mountain was bothering him and we were to stop it, peacefully if possible since the dragon didn't just want to collapse the mountain on them. We go up the mountain to the mines, I bluff my way in claiming to be part of their missing supply convoy (who the dragon was probably stopping) while the others snuck in behind me, we confronted the foreman, and after failing to persuade him to leave and killing him I intimidated most of the rest out by claiming to be an agent of the empire and threatening to blow the mine sky high (they were mining a volitile magical substance called lignite). After a small fight we were done and an exposed lignite vein started glowing and the dragon spoke to us through it. Turns out the dragon's actual body was a mile or two below the mountain. We left with the already mined barrels of lignite for ourselves and the dragon collapsed the mine.

>Part 1/2

Continued

As for the message delivery mission it was fairly straightforward up until we arrived at the town. Prior to that the shopkeeper told us her master whom she had apprenticed under to learn how to refine lignite (GM's magical substance named after a real mineral) had been out of touch for a while which was odd given their consistent contact. Upon arriving at the village we saw the town's mayor holding a meeting in the town square where he told everyone to keep away from the workshop at the bottom of the hill and that the situation would be remedied shortly. After the crowd dispersed a bit the party approached the mayor where he told us about what was going on: the local inventor hasn't been seen for some time and a few hostile mechanical creatures have popped out of the workshop. He also said that there was an agent of the empire (member of a special order sworn to seek-out and handle those who wrong the empire) which made my PC a tad nervous due to having robbed another garbage noble rival family before leaving for the free cities. Any ways we went down to the inventor's house and met with the agent who told us more about what was going on: the inventor was making some device that harvested lignite and relayed its power to other devices. We went inside, found out that the inventor was trapped by his roof collapsing when he was in his pantry (the device activated while he was in there), and shut-off the machine after a frenzied scramble to find a magical nullifier which had the unfortunate effect of knocking out all of the party who were capable of magic. Following all that the agent offered to give the party a ride back to our town. During the ride the agent questioned my PC about rumors someone was impersonating an agent of the empire (which I did during the mission the dragon sent us on) while my PC looked at and contemplated drinking a flask of poison he had in hand. The agent gave me a warning and let us go.

>the furry characters in this thread
I love them all.

Generic 16th century Doppelsoldner with red and white clothes and a brestplate with tassets. Wielding a Doppelhander.
Shit was pretty cash

In retrospect they're all shit because they're all unfinished.

>Explain.

D&D 2e. Wizard with multiclass warrior kit Berserker. Used his spells to be pretty much a Musclewizard of sort. Had a pretty high strength and constitution, and a high INT -for minotaur standards, which means 14-.
Usually boosted himself for a few rounds, and then all hell broke loose when he finally snapped if he needed to snap. Had also fireballs and other few spells here 'n there mostly for utility or hitting things that couldn't get in melee.

Alright then
Give me a minute to consolidate my stories.

This is one of my favorite times that I have used Grub to get me kicked out of a party.
> It was a windy winter night and all was silent across the realm of Melbourne Victoria.
> I had foolishly decided to play with a new party unknown to me since my regular group was out of town.
> I arrived at this guy's apartment like a minute late and get absolutely blasted by this fat cunt on the other side of the door.
> I told him to shut it (his gob that is not the door) and then found out he was the DM.
> Great way to make an entrance.
> Then I entered the living room.
> It was hate at first sight.
> The DM was this uptight asshole who knew every rule every published and sometimes just straight up made up the rules to fuck people over.
> There were four other people in the party:
> The girlfriend of the DM who was a generic redhair dyed land whale feminist playing because she wanted to break gender stereotypes.
> The weird edge-lord skinny kid who wore all black playing with a flip comb in the corner.
> The special one. Definitely on the spectrum and I wasn't exactly sure how he got here but I felt sorry for the retarded bastard.
> The fedora wearing fa/tg/uy. He was pretty normal to be honest.
> The guy that I knew flaked so I was completely alone with this lot.
> I can't really remember much from the first session other than that I went through two characters before the night was over.
> It was time to teach them a lession.
> It was time to unleash Grub.

More?

Archibald Willikins.
A lawful evil robot butler the party found in some ruins (my previous PC bit it in the preceding session). I made a set of rules with the consent of the GM:
1) I cannot move unless I have a master.
2) My master is chosen at random (roll).
3) I can not intentionally harm my master.
4) It is my life goal to kill everyone else in the party.

So Willikins got fired up, and who ends up being my master? The lawful good paladin named Giga (basically a sentai hero) with the intelligence of a brick.

Good times.

Whether you want it or not here is the next installment of "that that guy that played a goblin warlock with -4 strength"
> Next session rolled around and I had prepared Grub. The party started at level 2 so I had to change the character a little bit.
> I made sure to get there a couple of minutes late - I was actually there early and waited across the street.
> When I got there I was all business, I didn't antagonize them at all and introduced my character.
> We got into the game and I was introduced to the party about ten minutes into the session. They had arrived back from scouting out some goblin den.
> The party included one bitchy gnome mage fuck who got special treatment (the DM's girlfriend), a drow elf assassin straight up called nightblade (you know who), some fetish fueled female ranger being played by the fa/tg/uy (which disappointed me since he was the most normal of the batch) and the special kid who was being played by the special kid.
> I turned up and acted normal for the first bit. Little did they know I was sowing the seeds for destruction.
> We ended up going to this lame ass tavern where the three people that were taking this game seriously doing stuff important to the weak ass story.
> This left em and the autist who was sitting next to me in and out of game.
> I was the only one who was even remotely being nice to him and I subsequently found out that he was the DM's little brother.
> I asked him to do me a favor....

To be continued?

More pls

Hell yeah it is to be continued.
>Everything in game will be written like this.
And everything outside the game will be like this

> So back to the three taking this shit seriously.
> They were speaking to the military general's son who's sister was taken away by goblins. His father was too busy with his work to care so the son took it upon himself to pay some adventurers to find her.
> The group were consolidating information and finding leads and how to get to the goblin king who would know more about the kidnapping.
While they were distracted I was telling the special one some shit about how they were plotting against him.
Holy shit he fell for it.
> I told him to go up to the edge lord and start a fight with him.
> He was a barbarian and went into rage mode.
He had that retard strength
> He unleashed his sword
Yelled out a challenge to the rouge.
> The entire party was looking on at what was about to happen.
Rolled a fucking crit.
> Sliced the assassin in half.
Then went on to bash the ever living fuck out of the kid.

Probably either Squawk, the minotaur clown raised by squids who singlehandedly razed any semblance of plot to the ground, or Glain, the perpetually depressed wizard whose friends couldn't stop dying. I'm really liking my current character (Arbex, the justice loving elven knight who has recently been upgraded to a wood powered Kamen Rider by shenanigans), but we'll see how the campaign goes.

Five or so minutes pass and the edge lord is refusing to roll up a new character.
He threatened to press charges against the retard but the fa/tg/uy was able to calm him down.
The DM refuses to let him play his old character telling him that whatever happens in cannon.
The former nightblade storms out.
The autistic kid was apprehended and sent out.
No one even knew why he did it.
No one was the wiser.
Two down. Three to go.
With the kid gone I was now sitting next to the DM (it is a circular table).
> The party goes on to find this generic dungeon.
> Their sources tell them that there they can find the goblin king.
> I tell them that since I know goblin I can translate for them.
> We have to fight through some goblin rebellion but soon we have an audience with the grand one himself.
The DM passes me notes about what the king is saying.
I tell them the truth for the first bit and I start to get on the DM's good side.
Soon I am starting to make mistranslations.
Soon I am starting war.
> The goblin king and the gnome get into a fully heated battle of words all fictionalized by myself truly.
> The goblin king thinks they are spies working for the rebelion
> The gnome thinks they are sexist dogs.
> The party then engages the final boss (the goblin king) in mortal combat.
> The ranger is squashed like a fucking ant while the Gnome and I run for high heavens.
> Unannounced to the land whale but I was actually given an exemption from the extermination
> Unknown to the king but I wasn't actually chasing after the gnome.
> We burst out of the cave entrance and roll down a hill and out into the night sky.

Either my old retired soldier char, who was a cavalier, musket master multiclass who just wanted to do good in the world before he joined his wife in the afterlife and suffered from PTSD dreams

Or my maxed-CHA half-orc gentleman-thief who was the bastard son of a minor nobleman and had to steal some kind of trinket from every single one of his romantic conquests as a trophy and was all bravado and bluff but secretly just wanted to be officially recognized as his father's son, not heir, just son

Those were fun characters

Let's rewind the clock a bit to find out about why the fa/tg/uy stormed out too.
The DM didn't particularly like me but he played by the rules and if I did something then I happens.
So when I convince the goblin king that the ranger is a spy for the enemy then the ranger is a spy for the enemy.
And spies are dealt with, with the highest possible ferocity.
The DM told the fa/tg/uy to pass a DEX check. Rolled a 2.
The DM didn't roll damage.
Didn't roll to hit.
The ranger was just gone.
Dead.
Squashed by the goblin king's huge fist.
Game over.
This really pissed the fa/tg/uy off. He yelled that the DM was the worst DM he had ever encountered and stormed out.
Three down two to go.

Alright, so I wasn't there for that session, so I only heard after what had happened.

Basically, earlier in the game, a giant meteor had fallen near the northern pole. When my crew and I investigated it, we found that magic got... weird near it. The casters in the party had to roll for random side effects, their magic getting stronger or weaker. For what purpose this meteor existed, I don't know, but I'm sure that the GM had plans for it.

Emphasis on had.

Near the end of the campaign, we were working for the president of hell, which was an actual faction in the world and not as bad as you might think. He was kind of a dick though. He once put us through a game show where we had to solve puzzles and fight monsters, which was judged and narrated by multiple copies of him.

Anyways, he contracted the party with... some task. I don't know, I wasn't there at the time due to flying across country. What I do know is that in order to complete the task, he gave them an orb that controlled all magic.

They sailed north in order to complete the president's task.

And then threw the orb at the meteor.

Apparently, the two opposing things caused a divide by zero error, wiping out all magic in the world.

Needless to say, I was pissed when I got back. From then on, whenever I've gamed with the same group, I always insist on buying child leashes for each and every one of them.

My absolute favorite character would be an older teen Bone Gnawer Ahroun werewolf that loved to climb, swim, fight, and protect his 'pack' of fellow PC's that were Mages in a World of Darkness setting.
His main duty to his tribe was to act as a spy, which he did a great job of doing as the Mages knew what his job was and figured 'what the hell?' and helped him to succeed.
The character loved human food, especially bacon, baked ham, roast turkey, pie, and ice cream. He would of course hunt wild things like a normal wolf for food but sugar was probably one of his biggest friends. The first time he fell in love with an NPC, the only way he could express his feelings was with different types of food - much like the Tazmanian Devil's father to his mother in the old Taz cartoon. It was a very fun character.

I'm currently playing a Pyrokinetic in a Mutants & Masterminds game that is discovering the full depth of government corruption and power plays being made in a future setting of North America, and how super powered beings really are just pawns, playing out necessary roles in the foreground. I'm having a lot of fun with this one too.

It is now just the DM and the land whale.
Outside of game she didn't mind me as I had put on my patriotically charm.
Just as planned.
> Wandering around in the night we were weary from a long nights goblin killing.
> Soon we stumbled upon a party of three more adventurers.
The DM said that he was going to wrap it up early after the nights happenings.
Told us that the he was going to see if he could some of his friends to play the three adventurers and just wanted to role play our night then we could leave.
Pulled me aside and said he thought what I did was "mildly amusing" but I "had to cut it out or else"
> Grub went up to the strongest looking adventurer and starts up a friendly conversation.
> Grub then uses charm person on the warrior.
> He rolls a 1 to resist.
The DM gives me the kind of look that says: don't you fucking dare.
I smile and tell him that I get the soldier to convince his friends to slay the mage.
Tells me that I have to roll a DC18 CHA.
ROLL A FUCKING 20
> The gnome is horribly slaughtered as I get away with the adventurer's loot.
The DM and his girlfriend start yelling and pointing and telling me that I am toxic and I need to get a life.
The DM rips up my sheet and throws it in the bin.
Spits at me and kicks me out after announcing that I have officially ruined his story and if I was proud of myself.
Yes.
Very much so.

Sorry if my writing didn't do it service but that was one of Grubs stories. I have more but have to get off for a few hours. Hope you guys enjoyed.

This is a good thread. Thank you for sharing, everyone.

a female half-goblin named Horhog The Giggler. she was a cleric who followed Bahamut.

the cool part was she wanted to combine the best parts of human society and goblin culture (whatever the fuck that means)

never actually got to play her though. schedule didn't fit with the group.

I would like to learn more.

Love is war.

>game of Alpha Omega
That crazily over-produced thing from like... 06 or so? People play that?

What doll