Why are literally all female elves in all settings always hypersexualized whereas all male elves in all settings are...

Why are literally all female elves in all settings always hypersexualized whereas all male elves in all settings are always ugly midgets always 100% of the time no exceptions?

so? u a fag or summut?

I honestly don't mind these threads.

>obligitory "we gave up quests for this" post.

...what? Legolas is the reason a HUGE proportion of girls got into D&D.

I feel more inclined to stick my dick in a female elf than a male one. SO I would like my female elves to be cute, and I couldn't care less about the males

First time I've seen her without penis

>thinly veiled request for hypersexualized male Elves
We are a proud people that do not deserve to be degraded by your lewd fantasies.

...fuck it, sauce?

Pretty sure it's one of the Keebler mascots.

"Jenkins, we need a group of elves, all female elves!"
"Alright, so all these elves are together. In the woods. Hunting together, cooking together, b-b-bathing together. G-g-giving each other r-r-rubdowns w-while they unwind after a hard day..."
"Very appealing elves, Jenkins!"

"Jenkins, we need a group of elves, all male elves!"
"Alright, so all these elves are together. In the woods. Hunting together, cooking together, b-b-bathing together. G-g-giving each other r-r-rubdowns w-while they unwind after a hard day..."
"WTF Jenkins? We can't plaster a bunch of gay elves all over everything. Take the twinkle out of their eye, give them pan- shorts, alright, whatever. Knee length at least!"

Natural evolution. Male elves are so busy working in the Keebler fudge shop that the female elves became hypersexualized in order to try and get their attention.

Do you happen to be a filthy leaf? Cause it sure smells like it.

>all male elves in all settings are always ugly midgets always 100% of the time no exceptions?
Every setting I've played in male elves were either qt fucbois and/or Link

>Ugly Midgets.
Rude. And Innacurate, they are cute midgets.

isn't link qt fuccboi?

also this is really poorly disguised male_elf thread

>Fuckboi gerudo dancer Link
I love Nintendo sometimes.

ara ara

L-lewd.

Link is a fuccboi yes, but he's also fit enough to not be out of place topping

Nintendo has great tastes doesn't it
>Dat fuckboi Link
>Dem 8ft tall Gerudo Abs

...

sooo, this is now link thread? well done OP

unlikely tops are best thing though, in my opinion at least

>Anime elves are bad
>Girls borderline publically masturbating over Legolas is okay

I was literally about to post that you dick

been in same threads, i see. I recognize filenames

absolutely lewd

>Exploring the desert when I run across this qt.
What do?

Impregnate

>all male elves in all settings are always ugly midgets always 100% of the time no exceptions
what setting do you usually play?

>Pictured is Link's new big sis teaching him all about pleasuring men and women

he's a boy, so showing nipples isn't against the rules right?

Ask her out of course
Who knows, you may get lucky and she'll say yes

or butt for that matter

Be careful with that one, she's got a boot fetish or something, and will drop you like a rock once she's got what she wants.

...

I told you about the elves bro, I told you about them!

...

>Zelda "punishing" Link for crossdressing

...

it's gannon, not zelda

Okay... but nothing in my post said "anime elves are bad."

That's shit though
I'm mostly just sick and tired of seeing Link fucked by pig monsters though, it's boring now
I like Zelda better

Of course the qt likes shoes.

you can believe in whatever you want tho, just say away from shindoL's stuff about link
spoilering cause cosplay

Well, you can't spell trampled without tramp...

We need some elf beefcake here to balance things out

They're not nearly as sexualized outside of anime, apparently. I hate that shit so it wasn't until I came here that I even became aware of hyper sexualized elves.

>you will never have a yandere Dwemer husbando

...

>body definition of a near perfect woman in her early 30's
>face of an 18 year old
Why is anime so gay?

At least it's not a loli

Elf/Orc crossbreeds result in a superior species anyway

Both are A-OK by me.

...

...

Post more Link

If anything our male elves are even more sexualized

Have you seen Japanese beauty standards at all
They're fapping to Uehara Ai, not Asa Akira

>near perfect woman in her early 30's
You know peak age is around 25 right? From there on it's just all downhill.

On top of that especially women hit the wall hard from that point onward. Even if you were correct in assuming her body was that of a woman in her early 30s, her face would look like a mess without copious amounts of make-up.

Part of me is starting to believe women's most beautiful years correlating with their most fertile years and women rapidly getting older as they go past peak fertility isn't mere coincidence.

>They're fapping to Uehara Ai, not Asa Akira
Gee, I wonder why. Must be because they're all a bunch of pedophiles amirite?

>why does sex sell
Gee user I fucking wonder why a game and style of gaming geared toward people who want to place a fantasy character would have sexy females, and is prodomenently male would have sexualized females.

What a fucking mystery?!?!

He was just saying that the Japanese beauty standard is big tits, smaller ass, and baby face.

So lets break this down for you:
>and/or

The slash means or, so this is actually sort hand for "and or or."
So
>Every setting I've played in male elves were either qt fucbois and/or Link
Means
"Every setting I've played in male elves were either qt fucbois and Link" or "Every setting I've played in male elves were either qt fucbois or Link"

>Link is a fuccboi yes, but he's also fit enough to not be out of place topping
Fuccboi's fucking/getting fucked by girls is my fetish

>implying impossibly sexy male elves are bad
>implying impossibly sexy female elves are bad
Come on, dude.

Which, by contrast, Asa Akira has small tits, a smaller ass, and has the face of a sectoid.

Ironically your image stars an orc with zero interest in dicking elves.

I approve though, best doujin.

user calm, i just didn't read it. nice that you were concerned though, thanks

...I'm so confused right now.

And yet Akira is a famous porn star here in the West.

Different beauty standards.

Traditional ugly midget elves are fucking rare in fantasy settings. Male elves are more like borderline gay pretty boys.

Also, this is worse than ugly midgets.

Nah, but another good thread died for this.

no need to thank us user, they exist only in 2d thankfully

>Male elves are more like borderline gay pretty boys
Source?

What's there to be confused about? It's just a cute Link doing what cute Link does.

I'd chalk it up to her willing to do more interesting scenes than, say, someone like Brandy Taylor, who is significantly more attractive, but as boring as the 2x4 that Akira was cloned from.

Jesus H. Christ

Ever watched LoTR?

You gonna post any?

Could you name even one setting where this is the case?
Even one?

Seriously, I really fucking interested to see if this even exists.

>implying guys don't borderline publically masturbate over Legolas

No, I read the books.

>Fuccboi's fucking/getting fucked by girls is my fetish
Top tier user
Nothing like two QTs fucking each other

Also that blush on Link's face is cute as fuck, looks like that fuckboi found himself a perfect husbando in Zelda

>And yet Akira is a famous porn star here in the West.
Lisa Ann is pretty famous in the West and she's more plastic than flesh. The most famous pornstar of the Netherlands is Kim Holland. Go ahead, fucking google her.

Porn focuses more on having a nice body than having a good face, and usually takes in the cheapest sluts because the actually attractive women can earn more money without having to suck a dick (gravure models and the like). On top of that, there's a reason why expats in China and Japan are laughed at: they go for the ugliest women because arr rook same.

Don't search Po-Ju and classroom then.

Explain that thing about expats? I don't follow even slightly.

What's wrong user?

>those claws
worry.png

On-topic, most of the elves I've seen (mostly in players' handbooks and whatnot) are muscular but lanky. Kind of like pointy-eared basketball players. Ugly midgets is more of a normie advertising thing (OP's pic and Christmas stuff) and gay fuccboi elves are a weebshit thing.

sauce?

White people are notorious for marrying the first woman to give them a handy, usually the frumpiest trog in the village.

To the point where there "a face only a Westerner could love" is a common expression

are those carrots? i mean upper right things.

>what are feathers

I think they are feathers or some plant leaf.

Eh she's not *that* ugly, given the way he dresses I doubt he could get better anyway.

...

And on that day Zelda learned a girl (male) is fine too

"couldn't get better anyway" is also part of the stereotype, since the expat is typically a loser who couldn't get any whatsoever at home.

>sex
it physically hurts me

Barry Blair. I really don't like the way he draws breast desu, the rest yeah. He did some Elfquest and porn comics with elves.

it feels like borderline pedo for some reason

>After that day Zelda wants him to wear that every night