/5eg/ - Fifth Edition General

I want to say be yourself with boobs. But... I don't know if even that would be right.

I've been roleplaying for almost 10 years and I still don't understand how people have problems with this. Just... play a female character. You're already playing pretend, what's one more step away from reality?

Anyone know a quick, reliable way to make a loaded dice?

Long story short, for an artifact encounter, I want to make my party use a d20 weighted for crit fails to go with a "fate wants to fuck you in the ass" vibe.

> sageadvice.eu/2016/12/18/but-the-surprise-is-not-supposed-to-be-an-extra-round/

Don't forget that surprise round doesn't exist in 5e.

Make a fat female. She ate too many sweets and gained a lot of weight. She adventures to lose it and get money too.

Yup. This.

> crit fail rule
You are already a shitty red flag DM. Just tell them directly that they roll become 1 by the power of something.

Just play it like male character. The only difference is it said "female" on your character sheet.

I'm not feeling like I could pull that off.

Kinda hard because my group's very heavy on RP and the character would be a Mother.

Once again. It's just something weird with me. The idea of playing a character so different in that way is just so unatural. Which doesn't really make sense because I play Lizardfolk a lot.

...Well she was going to be a little on the fat side. Not in a fetishy way (I'm not even into Females) but she was going to be a Barbarian.

What would be needed to make a unarmed character who was more of a rough-and-tumble, dirty street fighter deal rather than a flashy martial artist? Tavern Brawler looks somewhat lackluster so I'm guessing you need to multiclass monk/something

Red flag for switching things up? It's going to be obvious the dice is loaded, if not when I say "you gotta roll with this dice." then after the first couple rolls.

It's a one off, the gimmick of the dice is just that, a gimmick.

remove "roastie" from your vocabulary

Reflavored Monk is the only really good option for Unarmed. It does't even multiclass well. Though refluffing a Maul or Mace into a gauntlet does work for Fighters and Barbarians.

Are you sure your group won't get assmad about it?

Then it's a fucking stupid gimmick. Just use poor roll results and stop being a retard.

They're essentially zerging the artifact with a bunch of replaceable characters in an all out war.

Nah, I like it and the players I've talked to seem into it. So fuck off.

Do Monk and just say you joined for the combat aspect and don't really respect any of the teachings. Instead of a roundhouse you kick them in the balls. Instead of a fancy spinning move you just smack them upside the head with the staff. Be creative, user. Way of the Open Hand and instead call it "Way of the Fuck You".

Can monk be redeemed at all by multiclassing?

Monk's perfectly fine as is. It's on the weaker side but the only complaints I hear are "It requires two ability scores" and "It doesn't do as much damage as a GWM".

>So fuck off.

No you, go learn to make cheat dice somewhere else faggot.

Monk really doesn't like multiclassing

Red flag for using crit rules.

No one in their right mind would use the rule that make a multiversal level master of weapons to have 81.5% chance every 6 second to hurt himself.

Hmm, I see. Guess if I ever get to use the concept I'll have to do a heavily refluffed monk

I'm replying to you simply because I think you're trying to get the last word in, and it seems like something that would annoy you.

Also just because you're a faggot, doesn't mean someone else won't answer eventually. Currently trying to melt some cheap dice but we'll see how that turns out.

I'm only using them for the one off, requires a 1 and 2 confirmations for a roll on the crit fail table. Though that's pretty likely, we're essentially working with an army of cannon fodder. It's kind of like that story of the level 0 villagers using magic wands with randomly rolled properties if you've ever seen that.

Crit fail rule.

But yeah. Only idioit DM who is bad at math and want to win at D&D use crit fail rule.

Only fucking autists assume that every crit fail has to be stabbing yourself in the chest.

what's the big deal? It's not like you're going to the table in a dress and make up.

>he doesn't LARP his characters at the table
Fucking casual

What? Don't you want to feel pretty?

Honestly wearing a dress and makeup isn't that bad, actually acting like a Female for a long period of time in game seems hard though.

Also have fun destroying your friend trust.

They might think it is funny and laugh it off at that night. But will be etched into their subconciousness that you are not trustworthy.

show me on the doll where your DM touched you.

jk i agree

^This^

My group has always used crit fails, for over a decade now. Everyone knows about them, everyone expects them. I don't fucking spring them on people out of nowhere.

Crit fail means something bad happens, not that you fumble and stab yourself. It can be breaking your weapon, dropping your weapon, stumbling on something, knocking a friend off balance, breaking something you didn't want to break, DRAWING ATTENTION TO YOURSELF.

It's literally up to the DM how bad and in what way the crit fail happens. If you had a bad experience with crit fails then you had a bad DM, it's 100% in the DM's hands.

Well I do, but it's the other guy that doesn't.

When I was a kid I used to get super embarrassed about playing female video game characters like myself. Now I have a decent sized closet of women's clothing that I've worn in public, so playing a female character in a game of make believe for adults doesn't phase me.

This really isn't the same thing but that guy should just take the plunge. A lot of stuff people only think is weird when they're not used to it yet.

That's not me, but I really don't think you're getting this.

"Okay user, X artifact is going to be affecting the fate of everyone in range."
"Alright"
"So roll with this dice instead of yours, this is surely in no way suspicious."
I'm not sure if the players you play with are retarded or what, but you mention fate, special dice, and a constant string of 1's. I think they can put two and two together.

And you're acting as if I'm making it unwinnable. Of which I can assure you, it is absolutely doable.

boi

OH SHIT I DON'T HAVE AN ACT 3

I NEED IDEAS.
BASIC SHIT SO FAR

so in the first big quest(ACT 1) the party fetched an artifact, they don't know what it does.
>it's the key and instructions to an ancient magical construct/golem manufactory

as part of their payment they were given a large parcel of coastal land a fair distance away.
>into which a significant percentage of their loot will be invested
>this and the adventures around here will be ACT 2

they've pissed off a meticulous necromancer
>by stealing part of her late and lamented masters personal treasure
>also by actively just pissing her off(monologueing the evils of ALL magic, bacon theft, and invasion of personal space/attempted theft of trade secrets/ignoring common courtesy guest-right)

they have also irritated a bandit queen, and made friends with the imperial guild of alchemists.

I have a non-evil party consisting of a cannibal warrior-gnome, a death-cultist druid, and a freed elf slave archer.
I need ideas...

Original guy here. I have no idea how you're brave enough to do that in public, but I'm jealous. I guess I'll just go to the table with the character and see how it goes.

imagine being a dm dude. i have to pretend to be kids and gay dudes and girls all the time or my players get mad.

okay i'm not pretending too hard with the gay thing but i don't wear dresses like that other user

>DMing for the first time in 8 hours
>have nothing planned
>don't know anything about the group's characters
>group has run through all modules already and expects something new

WHAT DO I DO /5EG/? I need a quick, easy oneshot with no prep required.

Bandit Queen starts to fuck with imports/exports of their coastal village/castle/whatever it is.
When the party goes to investigate, no bandits are found. They aren't attacked. When they get home, everything seems fine. But if they investigate further they'll realize that their entire staff has been killed/raised as undead. If they do not notice, the undead allow the bandits into their home and fights ensue.

Magic item idea:
A jacket where every time you reach into the pocket, you will find 1cp without fail. It's a real coin and doesn't disappear. The first time the player gets it, he'll make the character continually pull coins out all day. Give him some precise number like
>After working for the rest of the day, you have accumulated 672 copper pieces from the jacket
When the player finishes his next long rest, he sees a huge funeral procession going through town. He asks a passerby what happened.
>Oh there was a terrible fire last night, started at the hospital and made its way through the orphanage and to the residential district. Lots of deaths, 672 in fact.
Hopefully he gets the point

Assuming the character has a conscious and won't kill someone for 1cp, how could this be exploited? Any other ideas for uses?

use you are brain

Because I'm a weirdo that's been fascinated by the differences and similarities between men and women for a long time. People say we're so different, and we are, but ultimately we're still the same species and men and women are more similar than they are different, so you really should be worried more about playing a well realized character than playing one gender or another, which you can do if you know how to RP worth half a damn.

Now that I think about it my hobbies are just another form of roleplaying.

Party's at a festival. Some asshole wizard fireballs it, PCs are the only ones with enough hp to survive.

Hey I'd like a consensus on something in case it comes up in a game-
If you know the whereabouts of a target but are unable to see them (Darkness sphere, around a corner, over a wall, all within range) should Magic Missile still hit?
Now I know what it says in the book, but I'll be taking the DM role soon in my group and there's a guy who absolutely loves the dickens out of Magic Missile but I disagree personally with his boundaries of how it works, and wasn't in the position to correct him or feel like I should weigh in. So if someone would be kind enough to reply to this with the basic reasoning for why it should/shouldn't work, please do so.

>Walk into enemy base. Spend all day pulling coins out of your pocket.
>Start putting coins in your pocket. Raise undead army.
>Hang jacket upside down with mechanical shaking mechanism. Commit worse genocide in history.

>bacon theft

Googled this expecting something interesting, but nope.

>non-evil
>cannibal
>death cultist

From my understanding, magic missile is guided by one magic source to another. So yes?

That's a good way of thinking of it while I give it a go.

Also a good thing to keep in mind when I'm finally brave enough to go buy some pretty clothes :(

The spell description requires sight.

If they're normies who have never played it just rip the plot from some D&D Vidya like Neverwinter Nights.

Or just have them do some murderhoboing with a vague mysteries and a meaty hook at the end that will lead into your presumably more thought out campaign, then while writing said campaign, find ways to integrate and expand upon said vague mysteries.

it's a good encounter...and it's going into the ACT 2 folder

I mean I need ideas for BIG things, like a reason for them to go abroad to adventure perhaps the goat-men invade from the west, but that's a long way for them to go before they get GOATS EVERYWHERE

the way they RP it neither is evil, both are justifiably good.
the cannibal actually succeeded in using some of her rations as medicine.

>bacon theft
this was actually the archers doing

What's the artifact they got do?
Do any of them worship gods?

>First encounter made up entirely out of custom-made monsters was a success
That's a relief. Shame it was so easy

Monk is great. Anything that curb stomps Tiamat without UA cheese is good in my book.

Like most editions. The Monk starts solid, gets worse and then becomes a fucking monster at the end.

Running up walls, 20 Ki per shortrest, king of Saving Throws and killing anything on a failed save are all glorious.

A real man doesn't let anything stop him from being pretty.

Does anyone know if a bard can whistle for their spells?

>What's the artifact they got do?
it's the final piece of a lost war-construct manufactory. originally discovered by the duke that bequeathed them the land.

his intention is to use it to gain power and standing in the imperial court, seeing as he has access to a great deal of resource mines.

>Do any of them worship gods?
the player for the cannibal is like, UBER-christian
to avoid any satanic-panic BS at the table I've been working to avoid gods.

the death-cultist was a village shaman whose job was to facilitate the consumption of said village by a certain ancient beast. he's left behind but still venerates all natural deaths and values helping others.

the cannibal literally believes that if they don't eat people-meat(not explicitly human mind you) regularly that they will wither and die(with a homebrewed mechanic where she looses STR, CON, or DEX randomly at intervals untill she consumes again)

I sure hope so because I want to play a Bard as an Oratory Bard who tells stories and recites passages from great epics to cast his spells.

I can't see any DM stopping it. I played a tap dancing Bard once which was fun.

Also thanks for the confidence boost prettyanon

2 level dip into fighter max for max stun lock potential

That actually sounds better than say a wind instrument because then you're actually saying words.

And that was gonna be my next question: do general entertainment routines work for a magic focus? Can I juggle magic into existence?

also np.

The 5e monk has the best capstones around, really.

2/3 of my party can't do anything when fighting dragons because it just flies around breathing fire on them. Is there anything I can do to fix this?

what happened to 5e tools?

Taking cover, fighting it in places it can't fly, having your spellcasters ground it somehow, seducing it, sneaking past it...

You can't just butt your head against that kind of thing.

So how does /5eg/ feel about warlocks?

Find out what the characters are. You should know anyway. Think of something based on that.

First off what does the party consist of?

Also I'd let them figure it out, either start trying to lure it into more advantageous positions or just sit there with your thumb up you ass.

Currently DM'ing a game and have run into a bit of a wall. Would like some advice, so anyone got some time to kill and discuss possibilities with me? Would like to discuss in some private chat since one of my players frequents this thread

Roll20 had a fit that megaanon put their tokens up for free. So they threatened him with legal action and he had to take stuff down. A couple people last thread said they had it still so it will pop up here and there.

I've already been lured into 2 DM's houses, it ain't happening again.

Well outsmarting it isn't an option because the DM says dragons don't get to be thousands of years old getting baited into a cave. Negotiating isn't possible because the only dragons we need to fight are crazy dragon cultists.

rogue, beastmaster ranger, psion
>DM says dragons don't get to be thousands of years old getting baited into caves.

Neat idea but very DM dependant, mostly for how many encounters per day vs. how many short rests are done.

Also some DMs don't do anything with the PC's patron which sucks.

PHB or revised ranger?

The rogue should have some ranged capabilities, and the psion has powers with range. The ranger may or may not be decent with a bow. Animal companion is most likely useless, but that's how it goes.

The best approach is probably stealth. A head-on confrontation will not work unless you're all good shots.

go tavern brawler barbarian and dip into rogue for that athletics mastery

shove your way to supremacy

Revised STR Beastmaster ranger: makes 1 Xbow attack per turn
Rogue: makes 1 Xbow attack without sneak attack
Psion: does decent damage

Sneaking up on the dragon never worked.

Hey smar/tg/uys, I'm in a bit of a bind for a campaign I'm in. Playing as a Cleric of Pelor and one of my fellow players is infected with the Madness of Zugtmoy and is slowly dying and will turn into mushroom man upon death. And DM is being a bit of dick about things. I would use Greater Restoration, but I am sadly a lowly level 7 Cleric.

DM says they'll give next session a chance to RP saving them. But no one has the ability to do so. And they've already shot down my idea of using Revivify to bring the person back. According to DM Death Ward wouldn't work either.

Party: (All level 7)
Paladin of Bahamut (Lizard Folk)
Fighter (Halfling, the one who needs saving)
Druid (Elf)
Sorcerer (Tielfling)
Cleric of Pelor (Human)

Any suggestions Veeky Forums?

hire a higher level cleric to cure him

Ah, should have pointed out we're doing Out of the Abyss. So stuck in the Underdark and not really sure where the next city is right now. My fault.

Megaanon here. I want to set the record straight: there was no legal action threatened by either Roll20 or WotC against me.

Roll20 managed to connect my file sharing with my Roll20 account, and banned me for it--and rightfully so. Removing myself from filesharing is a move to both attempt to get my account back and, moreover, to avoid anything like this happening to me again.

Playing the game with my players easily is more important to me than maintaining the trove and 5etools. There's no point in taking part in the hobby if playing is a struggle.

Sometimes DMs just want PCs to die. I would just put your friend out of their misery and seek revenge.

Anyone got any interesting ideas or campaigns that do justice to a sprawling city setting?

Either combat events or quest ideas, unique quirks or weapons for the city guard / gangs?

why cant he just play as a mushroom man

DM says once they die, they lose control and become aggressive and attack the party.

Thanks for the suggestion.

That is the general feeling I get from the DM in every session. Of course I could just be tired.

You outta try out Tabletop Simulator, man.

>Playing the game with my players easily is more important to me than maintaining the trove and 5etools

Could it be? Is Megaanon not the magnanimous hero we thought him to be?

It is only fitting, I suppose. All heroes fall eventually. We can only hope that, in the dark times to come, we can draw strength from memories of the great Megaanon and his wondrous feats.

If your Fighter seriously can't bargain with a dark god of the Abyss / Drow Mage of the Underdark to stay the poison in exchange for slowly growing into a sentient Level 7 Fighter (Mushroom/Halfling) then your DM is a big fucking railroading cuck.