Last night I dreamed I had a kobold girlfriend. I blame you for this Veeky Forums

Last night I dreamed I was single.

I blame you for this, marriage. Everything was going great. The moment the ring hit the finger was the moment everything hit the fan.

Aren't kobold poisonous?

Not sure, but OP is cancerous

No seriously, kobold bodies emit poison. I doubt you kiss one and stay alive.

^
Underrated post.

Where the fuck are you getting this from? Kobolds are mooks. Not lionfish with legs.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobold

>citing Wikipedia definition
>When their definition goes back to when kobold was just another goblin, before any of it's meaningful fantasy iterations.

hange it you lazy ass.

Why can't I have dreams like this...

Last night I dreamed I had a gf. We started getting intimate then she whipped out a strapon and put it on. Then I woke up.

What the fuck

I had a dream about kobolds too

I saw ARW (Yes) live and Jon Anderson was even smaller than I expected

Scalies should be in camps.

Scalies should be in my camp.

...

...

I feel like I'm missing a joke here

Last night I dreamed I had a girlfriend (male). I blame you for this /b/.

Last night I dreamed i dropped my baby son on his head causing swelling and bleeding onto the brain. I was then told he wasn't going to survive and that it would be best to put him out of his pain. I had to watch my son be put into a medically induced coma knowing it would kill him

I hate dreaming obviously

...The Aristocrats!

Once I dreamed I was having sex with a cute vampire who was trying to bite me, but I was holding her down by the throat so she couldn't reach me. It was pretty great.

>I'm the master of a girl who suffers from depression, suicidal thoughts and a rape victim.

...man, sometimes forgetting an important word, like "is", can result in unintentional hilarity when the result accidentally changes the meaning of the sentence.

See, because, when you construct a sentence with commas like that, the idea should be that you can remove everything between the commas and the "and", and the sentence would still be readable and still mean the same thing. For example, "I like to dance, sing, and party" rendered as "I like to [...] party" doesn't significantly change the sentence's meaning or intent.

But...

>I'm the master of a girl who suffers from [...] a rape victim.

Which implies that you're the master of a girl who is suffering because of a third party besides yourself and the girl.

Last night I dreamed I had a Richard Stallman girlfriend. I blame you for this /g/.

Last night I dreamed that I was the man who arranges the blocks. I blame you for this Nikolay Nekrasov

Last night I dreamed I had a Barbie doll girlfriend. I blame you for this /toy/

ONE OF US
ONE OF US
ONE OF US
welcome to Veeky Forums, though I warn you, you've had a nasty infestation of newfags, /pol/lacks, and redditors, so its probably best to hide your power level since Veeky Forums keeps getting normier as the aformentioned fags keep shitposting and nuking threads.

Sorry mate, I wish this weren't the case, but I can't turn back the clock to 2009

But do you Catan?

youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8

Last nigh I dreamed I had a Pokemon girlfriend. I blame you for this /vp/

Oh no, in my dream-like stupor I forgot to attach the correct image

>imblying

Step it up famlams

All kobold fetishists are child predators.

All newfag redditors and "board police" are corprophiles, as that can only explain why they love to shitpost so much.

The majority of participants are coprophagous anyway, so they just eat it up.

How did the greasy beard and tooth gap feel on your dick user?

I enjoyed the lengths you went to to spell out this joke more than the observation itself.

Don't go to /d/ user.

Last night I dreamed I had an Aryanne girlfriend. I blame you for this /mlpol/

؜>>SUMMON THE BARNEYFAG COUNTS

Last night I Dreamed I had a Deer girlfriend. I blame you for this /k/.

Last night I dreamed I had a 2D girlfriend. I blame you for this /a/.

What is this, a thread for ants?

Also it feels like I've walked into a Twilight Zone Veeky Forums where it's full of faggots who wouldn't a big-hipped lizard-girl milf. What happened to muh teegee?

That's pretty sad my man

Last night I dreamed I had a moon girlfriend. I blame you for this /co/.

>still no gardedonut

When that happens to me, I blame /jp/

reddit, newfags, and nazimod-apologists happened. They came in and filled the void when all the creative posters and threads were banned, because shitposters nukespammed /wst/ and were emboldened to try and succeed where nazimod failed.
Combined with the fact that our mods and janitors have become shits, and we've got a recipe for disaster and faggotry that shames te glorious memory of Veeky Forums
I long for the days when we could have fun, and make cool and hilarious golden threads out of shit

Last knight I dreamed I had and was a girlfriend. I blame you for this /u/.

Oh don't get me wrong, I would still fuck a Kobolds brains out given the chance, but this stupid little joke is fun too. Besides, if your really hankerin' for some kobold misbehaving' there's always /trash/.

Last night I dreamt I had a Christen Press gf. I blame you for this /sp/

Oh man, that was a great show.

Juri was best girl though.

/d/ don't allow furry, go to /trash/.

Last night I had a dream that all kobolds were actually kinds of goblins.

Die you fucking Barneyfag

I'm going to say "Patrician taste" here, and actually mean it.

seconded.

I love lizardtiddies as much as the next fa/tg/uy but I also enjoy a good bout of thread derailing silliness.

You're either jerking off too much or not enough.

trips is truth

Shiori a shit though, Juri/Ruka best couple

Last night I dreamed I was snuggling with my dragon friend, out near a campfire on a moon-lit night on the mountain. We drank cheap beer and then he wanted to hug me, so we did. He was soft and warm, and when I woke up I was hugging my pillow.

I don't know why but this image terrifies me.

I believe You have repressed sexual feelings for your dragon friend.

Who here doesn't?

Maybe. But I would imagine it's not a good idea to push it. After all, he comes to visit my dreams from time to time, usually it's friendly, peaceful visits where we just hang out and enjoy the company of one another.

accurate.

>Everything was going great
For how many years?

Until the Fire Nation attacked.

I don't. I just want to stick my dick in orc and kobold women.

somebody got the green fever

You know it!

I miss That Guy threads where every other post was a creative suggestion, not some variation of "talk to them."

...

Last night I dreamed that I had a girlfriend with whom I wanted to sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep, in the most innocent sense of the word. I blame you for this, Veeky Forums.

Last night I dreamed that I had a wife that loved me, shared my interests and was hot as hell. Then I woke up and there she was. I thank Veeky Forums for helping me get together with her.

There's fetishizing a kobold and then there's desperation. Guess which you fall under OP.

>I missed it when people gave out bad advice under the pretense of being "creative"

Sure you did user, sure you did...

And now this night I dreamed and he was there again. He pinned me down and spent the rest of the dream just watching me, his breath was warm. Woke up with all the blankets and stuff pulled up on my chest. I think I had a mix of sleep paralysis in there too for a moment because I could see my room and see the shadow of my bedding, but I couldn't move a muscle.

I'm learning that feel, bro. I'm still maintaining hope that it's an unfortunate coincidence that the shit-fanning and marriage happened at the same time.

He's pretending to have kidnapped/raped a girl and is preventing her from commiting suicide.

At least i only hope he's pretending.

>All these low tier waifumons
It's like you don't even want to make sweet tender love to a qt Psionic Jewess.

> hypno
Isn't this like the rape Pokémon?

...

yeah, hypno does seem to have a disproportionate amount of rape porn

LAST NIGHT I DREAMT

THAT SOMEBODY LOVED ME

-4 str
-2 con
+2 dex
This alone is why Kobolds are the best race. only true men would play such a weak class and manage to not only survive, but to overcome all things the Gm throws at you. You are playing the Dark Souls level 1 run of tabletops when you pick this!

Everyone hates you in towns because of your race! You don't even speak common, you speak dragon talk so you gotta dump at least 2 points into Int just to speak with other PCs!

It's not rape, it's just surprise love.

i wanna fuck a kobold

...

Last night I dreamed I had a pregnant, non-human wife. Couldn't tell what in the dark, but she was Goblin-sized. She laid in bed and I gently caressed her, trying to keep her close with one arm and stroking her with the other. She slowly fell asleep while we cuddled, and I felt proud to have started a family.

I blame you for this PlagueofGripes.