How can I tell my DM that I think he's shit without hurting his fee-fees? Seriously

How many other DMs saw this thread, and immediately scrolled down the replies to make sure it wasn't about themselves?
Because I did.

Guilty as charged

But I know I am shit, user.

I already know that I am a horrible gm

>without hurting his fee-fees
????

Since when hurting someone's feelings by genuinely constructive criticism is wrong?
I mean, you might qualify as an asshole by bringing up the topic at the wrong circumstances, but what the fuck is this obsession with "muh feelings"?

Man, postmodern has gone to shit.
>Classical: Let's fight against the external things we can't control!
>Modern: Let's fight against the internal things we can't control.
>Postmodern: Let's fight against things that we control, but don't want to control???

>Genuinely constructive criticism
>Insulting the person to the point of psychological distress

I don't think you know what constructive criticism is. Here is a tip, if stuff got better because of it, it is constructive. If you have burnt down your relationship in the name of being right, it was destructive.

If your relationship burns down because of a pretend game, well...

OP here.
>The campaing is dragging for too fucking long and none of the players have any interest on the outcome left in their bodies
>He already painted the maps so fuck you there's no flexibility and we are being railroaded as fuck.
>Combats are unavoidable not interesting at all.
>He ignores the rules and even change his own house rules to fit his uninteresting narrative.
>one time he messed up the sheets and put my character against a level 23 monster that left me crippled and then he acted like I should be thankful
>rape backstory for important NPC
>Even there were times we were actually not allowed to do certain actions because the plot wouldn't march the way he wants it to.
>In later sessions, the protagonist of the story was a DMPC.
>He also gets the wizard cheat on his face so he can strobe his wizard dick every session, since not the wizard or the DM have actually take time to read the fucking manual.
>really cynical, self depreciating and outright depressing "humor"

If you are reading this and feeling guilty, I have to tell you: you're not made for this. Pursue other activities.

Phrase it in a constructive way. "Hey man. I know you're pouring your heart out into this campaign, but I think you have a lot of room to improve."

Suggest some "how to DM well" guides or places where he could improve as a storyteller/actor/encounter designer.

If he's offended by that, find a new group.

>The campaing is dragging for too fucking long and none of the players have any interest on the outcome left in their bodies
How long are we talking? 104 sessions? 156?
>He already painted the maps so fuck you there's no flexibility and we are being railroaded as fuck.
>Combats are unavoidable not interesting at all.
I can see why it would be bad for the group there. Talk to him and tell him how you feel about this. (Something along the lines of "I have the feeling that we cannot avoid the encounters that you send our way: I feel railroaded into them. Can we discuss this?")
>He ignores the rules and even change his own house rules to fit his uninteresting narrative.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel about this.
>one time he messed up the sheets and put my character against a level 23 monster that left me crippled and then he acted like I should be thankful
Talk to him and tell him how you feel about this.
>rape backstory for important NPC
That might be a tad cliché and bad storywriting but it can be easily fixed. Talk to him and tell him how you feel about this.
>In later sessions, the protagonist of the story was a DMPC.
Sit down with him and explain why it's bad that he is playing with himself in front of an audience.
>He also gets the wizard cheat on his face so he can strobe his wizard dick every session, since not the wizard or the DM have actually take time to read the fucking manual.
Sit the wizard player and the GM down and explain that you are not here to listen to their lop-sided frotting and that cheating in a make-believe, escapist game such as RPGs is a very sad thing to do.
>really cynical, self depreciating and outright depressing "humor"
Kill him. Just kidding: in this case there's only one thing you can do. Take your leave and run a game yourself: you can change a man somewhat in how they behave but changing their sense of humor is much more difficult. Maybe ask him to tone it down.

You have to hurt his fee fees.

Be almost professional about it, make it clear it isn't a personal thing but cite "when X happened, I'm not sure what you had in mind but it came off as Y. And we as a group generally agree that this happens frequently and it's seriously interfering with the game."

Then don't demand he changes anything, don't force him to continue in a style which he doesn't enjoy, but wait and see if he is mature enough to think it out and find a solution like an adult.

If he can't do that, leave and DM yourself.

Ok, the situation is complicated.

We are in the last dungeon. I'm usually the DM, but I was experiencing a creative exhaustion, so he took the mantle. It was supposed to be something short.

Then the campaing went over a year. With ups and downs. But the last sessions were DRAGGING because we felt everything was setted and there's nothing we could do. And we are already finishing it. I've already talked with him about how I feel about the game, he acts like he listens, yet he doesn't and takes it personal.

It happened what I was most afraid of: I hurt his fee-fees. That's why he screwed me in game to the point I have no other option than state "if you continue acting this way, I'm leaving", so I did.

The thing is, outside being a shit GM, he's not actually a bad dude. So I want to say to him that as long as he's GMing, I'm not going, without hurting his fee-fees.

Leave and DM yourself there, snowflake.

My players don't browse Veeky Forums.

I fucking hope so.

>The campaing is dragging for too fucking long

Oh no a campaign that lasts more than 10 sessions! Oh what shall we do?

Nigga I have played in three different campaigns that lasted 5+ years. One of them is going on 8 years, I DM and it probably lasted 100+ sessions. Another I play in has lasted 7 years so far and again probably a few hundred sessions. And a third has had dozens and dozens of sessions and has lasted 4 years. And I am almost certaintly understating these because I don't keep good records. The only accurate campaign record I have for one says 44 sessions and that's because I number them in my notes. I GM that one as well.

Veeky Forums has a boner for short campaigns and in doing so they miss half the point of RPG stories... they don't need to have a natural beginning, end, and conclusion. In fact it's often better when they don't, and the end is some weird resolution after six or seven storylines have dragged out the campaign ad nauseum.

I did. But that's only because of how OP spelled "campaign" that reminds me of how one of my players spells it. He has suggestions for the campaign and I usually listen to them. however they constantly tell me I'm the best DM they've ever had so I couldn't think why anyone would make this post about me.

>Nigga I have played in three different campaigns that lasted 5+ years.

Nigger that doesnt matter if the story and characters are compelling.

If the story is a piece of shit, like OP seems to be saying it is, and no one cares about it you dont want to spend forever exploring it do you.

Why would you want to tell him that if not to specifically hurt him?
If you want him to improve instead, try recommending him some books and brainstorming about stuff that would be cool to add in future adventures.
Or just, you know, try to talk about it in a constructive way without being a sperglord.

>hey, DM-kun. i think your adventure would be awesome if you tried a little bit more with voice acting! why don't you try practicing different voices when you're in the bathroom or something?

>hey, DM-senpai. why don't you try improvising a little bit more in your adventures, there are a lot of random content generators on the internet that could really help making stuff more unpredictable and interesting, even for you!

>hey, DM-chan! don't you think that villain from ( insert book/movie/etc name ) would be really interesting in a game? he isn't a generic evil dude and actually has some reason behind all he did and the creators did X and Y to make the readers get emotionally involved with the character and that one confrontation was really interesting in how the main characters defeated him using ( insert cool stuff here )

Tell everyone you're starting up your own game. Mention casually it's because you want a good game.

You are man enough to run your own game right?

Do you say fee-fees to people in real life when you're having a serious conversation with them?

Punch him in the face, stomp on his balls, then piss on him, while screaming "YOU FUCKING SUCK BRO!!!"

Then giggle, say I'm just joking man, but really, can you do a little better job?

Then everyone laughs and the DM will git good.

I did

The new shit is metamodernism

postmodernism is for faggots with small dicks

Once this campaign ends announce that you're going to be GMing, fuckface

English is not my first language, so I don't use "feelings" either

Already did