Anyone else have really serious, bad suicidal ideation? Like, you really want to kill yourself, like, almost all the time, like it doesn't matter how much gains you make, nothing is ever enough, I'm up thousands of percentage points on the year and still want to die, maybe even moreso than I did before. It's almost as if this shit is stressful and worrying and no matter what move I make it feels like it was a sub-optimal choice and i fucked up and didn't maximize profits and i missed so many pumps and opportunities. It feels like nothing I do will ever make me happy. I got a car from my crypto gains, I got a new pc, I got a new guitar, I am in talks with an IRL friend who also made huge gains to possibly go into some real estate, and it seems like a great idea, and i should be excited but i hate everything. I hate my job that I've been funneling hundreds of dollars per week into crypto with, i don't trust my girlfriend/fiance thing, i barely have time to really do anything other than work/eat/sleep, weekends and evenings are either consumed by social events that leave me feeling empty, or me chasing the candlesticks for hours at a time. I don't think any movies have really held my attention this year except blade runner 2049.
Sorry for the blogpost. I guess the topic is "did you think getting money would make you happy, and when you got it, did it actually?"
because even though i could go on vacations or do the whole "no one is sad on a jet ski" thing, it feels completely pointless to do, like it's a waste of possible maximum gains.
You are trying to fill a hole with money. Should probably use some of that money for a therapist to find out the real issue then come up with a solution for that.
Ian Clark
thanks man, these seem really interesting therapy didnt help me and seemed like even more of a waste of money and i regret trying it, in hindsight.
Mason Peterson
Welcome to reality, nigger. Nothing will ever be enough, even if you avoid unreasonable expectations. Your soul is programmed to be dissatisfied. The best you can do is plan your life in a way that gives you steady, small moments of conscious satisfaction throughout the day, every day.
Carter Sullivan
Based user
Landon Murphy
I am terrified you might be right.
Jose Gonzalez
Sounds like you should get some help. That shits not normal.
There's no way to catch every moon. Try to focus on the fact that you are making money and not one of the retards actually losing money in this market. I used to get pissed when I sold before the peak but it's a stupid thing to focus on. I only started making real money when I stopped dwelling on my potential gains and instead moved on to the next opportunity.
Seriously, if you are doing so well and still feeling suicidal, get some help. What if the market crashes all of the sudden?
Thomas Young
I lost my entire BTC stack that it took me two months of working to save up for today cos of fucking ethermon and I'm hiding the kitchen knives.
Jacob Bennett
If you find that specific translation to be uncomfortable to read, amazon.com/gp/product/B005NC0MGW is decent. You will not regret reading the book.
Matthew Price
How old are you user?
Elijah Young
Hi friends. One of the bitter lessons in life is no matter your external circumstances, your internals will remain mostly the same. Your pleasure response is from dopmaine, and it quickly wears off. Modern society is designed to wreck you. What makes you "happy" quickly fades away. What do? 1st dont kys. This is fixable. 2nd if you really think you are schizo, stop doing activities that aggrevate it. Marijuana is really bad for it (sad!) 3rd you need to start doing things different. Stop looking for reward and fulfuliment in outcomes. Seek it in your actions. You may end up a millionaire or broke. But how you feel in the process does not have to be correlated to the outcome. Does that make sense? Money can hurt or help you. It is hurting you right now because your existing mental problems are not stable. It is adding fuel to the fire. Dont quit, be grateful for your money, but view this as the ultimate sign that even after $ sex and travel you will still be unfulfilled - unless you deal with your internal world.
Juan Green
I have already cashed out enough to be very very profitable. all crypto wallets could turn empty tomorrow and I'm still up a couple dozen thousand dollars in fiat. Logically, such a thing does not bother me. but i get very sad sometimes, and have much better expectations of myself than "one of the retards losing money" When the voice comes, it says things like, "I should be at millions now. I should be at retirement now. I should be capitalizing on this once in a lifetime opportunity better. I knew about this in 2011. Why didn't I invest then? [irl friend] bought right after Gox crashed and tried to get you to jump in for $400, and you didn't. Now you're buying at 2k, 3k, 8k, 12k, and even more at 16k. Pathetic. Simply pathetic" etc etc.
I know it's not true but that doesn't stop it. I know I should be happy but the fact that I'm not makes me feel even more guilty and bad.
Blake Brooks
I just want to make enough moniez to go hiking out in the snow somewhere without any worries.
Colton Diaz
I could never kill myself because I'm afraid of reincarnation. Imagine being reborn as a woman. Or black
Ryder Price
"I should" statements from your mind are the ultimate loaded + judgemental statment. You shouldn't be anything - that implied an absolute objective truth that you must submit to.
>I know I should be happy You cant think yourself happy.
If I tell you some books to read will you?
Xavier Martin
Unironically, this. Read Seneca. Read him.
Brayden Hill
This, life is dissatisfactory by nature and by design. I think the biggest step past constantly seeking happiness is to look directly at who's doing the searching. Meditate for a while and you'll see that what you're looking for is always right in front of you
Robert King
That will cost like $500. And you can also be worry free right now, hiking in the snow will be fun at first most likely, but then it will just become your day to day experience and "You" - the ball of desires and fears and preferences that exists right now wishing he were in the snow - will be in the show wishing for something new. Of course i want you to go hiking but its not going to change your reality
Josiah Jenkins
Dude, I put in $400 a little over a year ago, and have turned it into $27,000. I still feel empty inside and get hammered like five nights a week. At least you have a girlfriend.
Daniel Carter
please share for a depressed user
William Williams
Well yeah I feel suicidal user, but that's because I lost a lot of money.
I lost .4 BTC trying to ride the bitcoin cash wave and I got burned so badly user
I am so sad and depressed.fuck.
I am a little suicidal because of that.
Evan Cooper
This. For fuck's sake, read Seneca. Then let that sink in.
Jordan Howard
>Imagine being reborn as a woman. Or black kek, you're right, it aint worth the risk.
Chase Ward
You wanting to be happy is the thing making you unhappy.
John Barnes
OP there are plenty of newly-rich-and-suicidal people here on Veeky Forums. I know it because it is my situation, and I'd be able to leave this website if there werent so many posts I could relate to. but i havent left yet.
Michael Gonzalez
your mind has stagnated from the numbers, but you lack ideas.
Look into basic philosophy, start reading on that shit. Get some wonder and awareness beyond yourself
Sounds stupid but thinking more about such things helped me tremendously. Amazingly, my gains have skyrocketed - I think because I do not care as much about the money anymore and thus am that much more objective
gl user - look beyond the meaningless numbers
David Parker
i only want to kill myself when im drunk, which is about half of the time
Jaxon Cooper
I don't care about being happy, I want my .4 BTC back
REEEE
Joshua Hill
Ok, my book list i have to go to bed: >Thirding the recommendation of Seneca >Bhagvad Gita >A guide to rational living >Creating a bugfree mind >Psychocybernetics
m8 you can get out of this pit. you can change your thinking patterns, which will change your emotions. its work but you can do it. make sure you drink water, get off the sugar, and lift. if you can only read 2: Seneca and "A guide to rational living" Bhagvad Gita is advanced mode
Xavier Miller
THIS.
Also, I think you have a gambling problem OP.
Levi Green
KILL ME ANONS KILL ME
I HAVE SO MUCH MONEY ON THIS SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Well I'm up since I started but I lost money today
I lost .4 BTC
AHHHHHHHHHHH
KILL ME ANONS KILL ME END MY LIFE RIGHT NOW
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SOOOOOO SAD AHHHHHHHHHH :(((((((((
Chase Scott
Watch anime and don't be such a greedy pig.
Dominic Reyes
>how you feel in the process does not have to be correlated to the outcome
this is great advice I had forgotten, thank you
Juan Brooks
Beware of being happy by unironically being unhappy.
Isaac Thomas
I feel like the dopamine receptors in my brain are kinda fucked up and don't really trigger the same way anymore.
Camden Smith
We’ve found that people have a happiness threshold; yea if you win the lotto your happiness will go up or if a loved one dies it’ll go down but it will always stabilize
Owen Wilson
And before you say stop larping, .4 BTC is a good chunk of money that I have
BCH is currently crashing and every 100,000 satoshis it goes down I lose like a significant chunk of my money
REEEEEEE
depression mode activate
I watch anime, it doesn't help me feel better about losing money.
OP you faggot you are like me, you will never kill yourself because why commit suicide? Suicide would hurt you, and it would hurt all your family and friends.
But yeah I think we are both still suicidal though, except we can just never commit ever. It will just be forever suicidal.
FOREVER DEPRESSION.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Joshua Cooper
This.
Brandon Gonzalez
to be honest my friends the money doesnt even matter anymore im just in it for the thrill and its really shitty my gf has tried to get me into anime a few times and i just am not really a huge fan of most of it. obviously western-aimed shit like bebop and trigun are fantastic, and i do like some of the better movies (5cm/sec, the girl who leapt through time, miyazaki shit, etc) but i dont really get excited about it thanks user never kill yourself over money the suicidal ideation i have isnt because of the money, and i realize that, but i thought i'd be able to convert some money into self-actualization and happiness.
youre probably right i played diablo 3 just to make money on the RMAH before they removed it i used to play "competitive" poker and bet NFL years ago before crypto was a thing. i did pretty well with analysis and trends but in the end its still a dice roll. I wasnt really looking for /adv/ but thanks for the advice bros, i guess other people can kinda relate but not really the same way, i kind of thought people at the top of Veeky Forums would either have so much money they dont even have thoughts like this, or maybe they were in the same boat as me.
Mason Clark
maybe helping others will help you. send me some gains, I'll put it towards my loans.
For real though, go out and help people, you'll feel that real connection and while it probably won't get rid of your depression it's a start.
I know how deep depression can go and how far its tendrils can reach. Idk how I got through mine honestly, but it's possible.
How about using some of your gainz to better the world we live in, instead of spending it on yourself and feeling sorry for yourself while doing so?
Michael Martinez
No, not at all Senpai, you should start lifting heavy weights.
Kayden Cox
Dude. If it doesn't make you happy it's not your calling/call it however you want. If you can make a living by just hodling, use your time to try different things.
Thomas Richardson
If you're looking for some fuzzy feels, check out "Usagi drop".
Jonathan Green
i have lost so much and missed so many opportunities i am numbed to all pain
win or lose i feel nothing now
Connor Cox
Happiness is an emotion, which, as every other emotion, has it's triggers, purpose, and duration. What triggers happiness is the fulfilment of goals/wishes that are of high importance to a person. It comes as a reward and it's addictive because its purpose is to create a note in your mind and make you want to do more things that lead to that nice feeling and live a purposeful life (or you can just take drugs and have it instantly). But it fades away because you can't stagnate in life, there is no such thing that will make you happy forever because that would mean your life is over and you have no more quests to fulfill so you can just die. You can't be high on one big sniff forever. Don't expect to be happy if the circumstances you brought yourself into do not match your true wishes, no matter how good they may seem objectively. But if you think surreal gains will make you happy for life, you are wrong. Your brain needs to move on and you will always want more or something different. That's perfectly fine because otherwise, life would be easy and boring
Hudson Thomas
all these sad people with their mad gains is this a psy op? fucking with us? should all sad sack pity party threads be banned on sight?
go there to be sad
come back here when you're ready to talk lambos
Owen Walker
i used to work at a big hospital IT helldesk and it was really rewarding, i'd be able to help like 100 people a day, maybe more now i have a shitty office job where i talk to no one aside from maybe a couple people near my cube kinda lonley i have been meaning to get back into Veeky Forumsness because i felt a lot happier (at least temporarily?)when I was doing it more.
Brayden Morgan
>is this a psy op? HAHAHAHA you made my night, holy shit. also yeah most of r9k thinks their life will be perfect if the right woman lets them hold their hand; not me...so i dont relate to most people there. also most of them dont have any money.
Christopher Ross
Are you still here? Write about your experience user
I told you about mine. I lost .4 and slowly decreasing BTC because of Bitcoin Cash
I am suicidal too. Ironically I had a lot of DOGE that I sold for Bitcoin Cash, if I just held my doge today because it fucking mooned, I would have 3xed my money. But no. Bitcoin CASH had to fuck my ass hard.
Wyatt White
You might want to try out eating broccoli sprouts on the reg. It's some amazing shit that helps with depression, autizm and shit. Oh and some types of cancer.
Grayson Myers
i suppose you have a point
money can be used to fund hobbies, and art, and making shit. so maybe thats something the sad sacks can do with their crypto money.
paintball, drone racing, 3d printing, woodworking
all kinds of artistic hobbies or fun hobbies to do that can't be done without money that you now have.
buiklding something is probably pretty satisfying. can forget yourself long hours into an intricate project
Wyatt Young
clubs, find some real clubs in your area, or start one, make some new best friends. That'll help too
Josiah Thompson
Oh yeah, I'm totally getting a Formlabs Fuse soon, it's going to be sick. Maybe I'll start a seriously financed hackerspace to surround me with cool people building cool shit.
Christian Watson
>clubs lol, is this an american thing? in canada i don't think we have clubs. people just stay home by themselves or get drunk
i play poker for a living, there are so many free resources out there to get you profitable, at least in tournaments, if you ever want to pick it up again. but you have to have discipline. you saying that you're just in it the for the thrill makes me think you're a bit of a degenerate, but if you can find discipline you can definitely make money playing cards while having fun.
also, your guitar playing is beautiful. can you sing? if not, find someone that can and make some music, express yourself. it will help.
Colton Watson
WHATS UP NIGGER IM NOT HIM BUT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW I BOUGHT 1.5BTC IN MAY OF 2017 I SOLD IT RIGHT BEFORE THE FORK IN AUGUST KNOWING IT WOULD DIP IT DID, BUT NOT ENOUGH, I THOUGHT IT WOULD GO FURTHER DOWN, AND WAS HESITANT TO BUY BACK IN NOW I AM ONLY UP LIKE $300 WHEN I COULDVE BEEN UP THOUSANDS AND ALSO HAD 1.5 BCC ALSO I REMEMBER WATCHING LTC MOON FROM $10 TO $15 THE DAY IT WAS ADDED TO COINBASE I THINK I BOUGHT IT AT LIKE 25 AND SOLD IT AT 35 50 COINS WORTH.
ALSO I BOUGHT 13 ETH AND SOLD IT FOR DOUBLE MY MONEY, LIKE $75 TO $150
REAL LOSER COMING IN BOYS ALL I HAD TO DO WAS HODL
I RECOMMEND BUY GUNS SHOOT AT THE RANGE HELPS WITH STRESS
Daniel Powell
sprouts can be easily grown in an apartment. quickly too. wont have to wait months to eat it. and jam packed with nutes even more so then the seed or the full grown plant.
Brayden Barnes
SORRY FOR THE LARP, LOL
Lucas Collins
holy shit, a sprout-bro on biz? nice
Asher Wright
I working on a sprout rack for my bathroom, my current solution takes up too much space.
Caleb Reed
Thanks OP for the great read. I hope it's alright with you, but you made me feel better coping with my .4+ BTC loss you are a hero.
I might be able to top your story though. I have had BTC since 2013, but guess what? I only bought 1.1 BTC back in 2013. These 3-4 fucking years, I didn't do shit with it. I forgot my password to the wallet entirely and didn't remember until this year. I kept typing in random shit until it worked, and it worked.
The past 3-4 years I have been typing in things and it did not work, this year it did. If I tried today I still don't remember the password, it just worked that ONE TIME and I was able to get my coins out (Bitcoin Cash and Bitcoin).
You are the king of missed opportunities though OP. What do you want to do to celebrate? Should I donate some stuff to you? I can if you want, I feel really bad that you missed out on so much.
You can post your ETH address or make a new one so people don't see your balance. I will send you a HODL coin, don't touch it for a year and thank user then?
Jackson Morgan
earthship home Mark Passio Natural Law Seminar Permaculture Principles
All you need to learn to snap out of it
Jace Jones
>nutes youre welcome
Aaron Bell
get kids
Andrew Robinson
OP post your address, I will send you $50 of a coin that you just have to HODL for a year.
I'm going into crypto hybernation after all my withdrawals are complete, I have lost too much money trading BCH, and decided I'm not cut out for this.
I've bought most of the holdings I wanted, and going to retire from crypto soon.
Post your address OP, I'll send you something before I leave. Just hodl this coin for a year, maybe keep up with its updates in case you have to do something with the tokens in the future, and profit.
Thank user later
Jason Roberts
As if OPs dumb enough to fall for this, kek.
Mason Rivera
i know no one delivers on biz, but he seems genuine.
Landon Long
I've tried to kill myself multiple times. I never used to believe in a soul. I figured that when you died, it was like eternal unconsciousness. Now, I think that maybe we can't kill ourselves. That our soul just hops to a different parallel reality where you failed. The last time I tried to kill myself, I put my gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger. The bullet ended up in my ceiling. I felt the pain of infinite multiverse mes dying off, but not this one.
The moral of this story is to find our heaven on Earth. To find our happiness every day. To find the peace in our minds and the love in our hearts and nurture them until your soul finds rest.
Brandon Morris
how is eternal unconsciousness logical tho?
you had the same state before your birth that you will have after your death a state of oerceived non existance
this state was obviously interrupted by your birth
why shouldnt it be the same after you die then?
this eternal unconsciousness is for brainlet normies who dont wanna make their own thoughts but rather repeat what someone else said because its convient to justify their degenerate behaviour
David Adams
Money isn't everything and participating in a autistic and modern version of stock trading sure as hell isn't fulfilling but rather stressful and annoying. Most people (not all!) here would be better off working a real job when it comes to the money.
Eli Hughes
0xCCe56B694d1d5Ee1B039891c4bD9CAd9a6Bb45E4 Eth On phone now.
“Brain – nickel toxicity is definitely associated with negative feelings, including depression and, if exposure is severe enough, suicidal thoughts. Nickel may also cause a person to be “attached” or abnormally dependent on others. It may have this effect by weakening the body or brain in a particular way.”
Carter Brown
you sneaky little cunt lol, fuck off
Tyler Peterson
>porn >trading >browsing internet >drinking >drugs >meaningless sex >more drinking >making more money than you could earn working while doing nothing >smoke weed and more porn
We're trapped in the matrix and I know religion/spirituality is the answer but I feel the incessant need to accumulate wealth before I can detach myself........
Jaxson Morgan
>going to retire cool >from crypto oh...
Tyler Hernandez
Buddy you just need to convert some of these gains to weed. Not the coin, dumbo. Actual weed. Thank me later
Gavin Scott
quitting weed was the best thing i've ever done. even if you don't cut out anything else on this list, if you're smoking weed and troubled, try eliminating it.
Wyatt Wright
not everyone has positive effects forever. usually it starts off positive, then spirals to the negative from what i've noticed.
even if you think it's helping you, it's probably hindering your development as a person long term.
Nathaniel Price
its the porn/sex/masturbation that's my problem, everything else just supplements that. Gonna book a holiday to the himalayas very soon and escape everything for a month or 2 and sort myself out properly. Lost everything including my mind the last few years, but I know its almost over and I'll be free soon. Just need to make myself financially /comfy/ first.
Julian Walker
Are you sad because of your poor performance in the market?
Caleb Gomez
don't sacrifice your wellbeing for /comfy/ or money or whatever. if you do this, even if you get money, it won't be worth a damn if you don't have your health. good luck bud.
Oliver Miller
Thanks man, definitely almost over, I'm not trying to be fuck you rich, just enough to give me a good chunk of breathing room and I'm almost there.
Zachary Howard
you ever try not being a bitch?
Easton Peterson
/adv/ is this way
Benjamin Nguyen
user if you have trouble with too much money then maybe you should try giving it to others. Me for example.
Connor Reyes
>chasing the candlesticks for hours at a time You're living the dream user, be grateful to Satoshi!
Julian Rodriguez
Yeah just waiting for bittrex to let me withdraw and i'm getting out with my current stack then waiting a year
Leo Taylor
Or try me! 0xCCe56B694d1d5Ee1B039891c4bD9CAd9a6Bb45E4 ETH
Just try it once!
Angel Evans
serves you right stinky linky scum
Adam Cox
dont make the mistake to equate religion and spirituality with the major religions tho especially christianity is one of the reasons for our crumbling societies
make your own thoughts
Mason Smith
>want to kill yourself, like, almost all the time, like it doesn't matter how much gains you make >It's almost as if this shit is stressful and worrying It's almost as if watching numbers go up doesn't make you satisfied with life, who would have guessed
>I hate my job >i don't trust my girlfriend >i barely have time to really do anything other than work/eat/sleep
Sounds like the reason you are unhappy is your job is shit. How about instead of wasting your gains on bullshit that only an idiot would expect to make them happy you put it towards the real thing you need to do, quitting your job.
GF problem is easier just fucking dump her, a relationship without trust is already dead and you're dumb af if you go through with the marriage.
James Miller
Yeah I'm making my own. I find the most solace in Christianity, but often I find it lacks some vigour and virility that I think is necessary now. Have spent a lot of time reading and researching the whole gamut of thought in the area though.