Do you have a set of house rules when gaming, user? Not the rules you make up for the game, but the ones for the table and home where people are gaming. I usually stick to these:
>no mobile devices
>no pen or pencil tapping
>no food on the table unless it's snack time
>everyone must use a coaster, no exceptions
>do not throw the dice across the room
>do not bend cards
>do not flick counters
>no mobile devices
>he doesn't use the glorious anti-cheating-faggot measure that is a dice-roller app
>coasters
OH NO
YOU'VE DONE IT NOW OP
I have some basic rules
>players must be able to do 5 pushups or run a 5k
>must be able to write in cursive
>must be able to drive or ride a bike
>no new rocks, converse, crocs or skechers
>no tracksuits, sweatpants, tighty-whities or t-shirts
>no backpacks or fanny packs
That helps get rid of fatties, children and special ed kids
...you could just ban the things you don't like directly instead of trying to ban stereotypes you associate with them.
How would you check someone's underwear?
Also do you change the no T-shirts rule in summer?
>How would you check someone's underwear?
Anyone who won't show off their boxers to their bro isn't comfortable in their masculinity
>Also do you change the no T-shirts rule in summer?
Short sleeve shirts are a thing dipshit, get some fashion sense
What's wrong with sweatpants? They're comfy.
if you're too fat to wear normal pants
Session zero in my games takes place over multiple events
1) Test of Fitness - pushups or timed 5k. Running shoes permitted. No sneakers or "sk8r shoez". Kit is proper running shoes, track shorts, singlet.
2) Test of Virility - all contestants drop trou and grapple in the ring of judgment. If you are attuned with the mighty Spartoi or proud men of Hellas and thus grapple skyclad as in the Olympic Pankration, bonus XP is awarded.
3) Creation of characters - 3d6 down the line drop lowest.
Only after these trials can the games begin. The strong and virile sit at my table, the weak are left on a wolf-infested hillside like a Spartan baby.
What if the players want to point buy?
>3) Creation of characters - 3d6 down the line drop lowest.
I believed it until this part.
>3) Creation of characters - 3d6 down the line drop lowest.
Fuck off
Listen when the GM is talking.
Keel off-topic discussions to a bare minimum during game time.
Don't be a dick.
You may only consume up to 2 alcoholic beverages during game time. After the session has concluded you're free to drink yourself into a coma.
That's really all I've ever needed.
I'm adopting these. Fuck man-childeren and retards.
Point buy is to wrest creation from the hands of the divine. One is not master of one's own fate. The roll of the dice is part of the ritual.
They get kicked? Run your own god damn game if you want to pussy pick attribrutes
Be sure to include the grappling. A man who won't strip to his underwear, oil up with sacred unguents and grapple beneath the eyes of mighty Zeus is no man.
> You may only consume up to 2 alcoholic beverages during game time. After the session has concluded you're free to drink yourself into a coma.
THIS! No, you are not more creative, or more in character, or funny, or interesting when you are so drunk you can barely stand. It does not "enhance the experience." It detracts from it for the rest of us who have to deal with your slobbering, incoherent, bumbling mess.
While game is going on, a small buzz is ok, but stay mostly sober and coherent. After the game, if you want to go at it so hard you end up a complete mess we leave on the floor of the bathroom, and you wake up two days later, go right ahead.
This goes for getting high too.
I prefer another rule
If you drink, you match the GM drink for drink.
>We're playing in a game store, so keep the language PG-13: not my rule, the store owners demand it in case kids are around
>No phones, laptops, or vidyas at the table, that's just common courtesy
>In addition to running your character, you're probably going to have a side-job: the mapper maps, the banker keeps track of party funds, the quartermaster keeps track of party inventory, and the caller relays to the referee where everyone is and who's doing what (speeds gameplay tremendously by cutting down on redundancy, contradiction, players shouting over each other with actions, and That One Guy who doesn't want you to notice that he's apparently teleporting around so that he can participate in every action and scene)
>must be able to write in cursive
Don't they not even teach cursive anymore in places?
>no backpacks
Man what problem do you have with people carrying shit
I disqualify at the first. Unless pager is ok. Do they even make those anymore?
I only adopted the rule because I'm guilty of getting too drunk at games myself.
>>everyone must use a coaster, no exceptions
Our table is in the center of the room, and along the wall on both sides of the table, is a shelf/bar.
>No drinks on the table. Ever. Reach behind you to get a drink.
You only need a backpack if you're camping or going to school.
Briefcases, duffel bags, carrier bags or satchels are all permitted.
>no new rocks, converse, crocs or skechers
DC Shoes okay though?
>Anyone who won't show off their boxers to their bro isn't comfortable in their masculinity
>Anyone who isn't man enough to demonstrate how they like to get their dick sucked, isn't comfortable in their masculinity.
wat?
>TFW u meet the requirements
>>must be able to drive or ride a bike
You're putting those at the same level? Are you American?
I have a question regarding writing in cursive:
Can I just write that you should fuck off, or will it need to be a full page detailing the reasons for you to fuck off, as well as the manner in which you may do so?
This guy gets it
They have stopped teaching it in many places, I wasn't taught it in school.
I think a time-based drink limit would make more sense. A 3 hours session is a bit different from a 7 hours session. 1 drink per hour/hour-and-a-half maybe?
Probably, although I think the point is that they aren't relying on rides from other people to get to game.
I HAVE ONE RULE
What is it?
The way things are set up in America, it's practically impossible to function as a productive adult if you can't drive. There are exceptions, like bigger cities, but the vast majority of places basically require you to have a car. Lacking even a driver's license is a telltale sign of NEET-hood in America.
>this is preferable to a backpack
How gay are you?
If you have issue, air your grievances to the group and we shall grapple until one side wins. Defeat me and prove yourself worthy of being an instrument of revolution.
>Anyone who won't show off their boxers to their bro isn't comfortable in their masculinity
I'm fine dropping trou, but I go commando 365 days a year, just so you're prepared. I live in northern Minnesota if you were wondering.
Are you calling the Greeks unmanly?
The pankration was fought naked.
>Don't they not even teach cursive anymore in places?
It's a pointless skill. They don't teach kids how to craft buggy whips either.
All the better for the feats of strength. We, the inner circle, shall apply the unguents to those facing the trials.
>We, the inner circle, shall apply the unguents to those facing the trials.
I wasn't really on board before but now I would like to play in your game.
He wants players to wrestle naked for him.
He's pretty fuckin' gay.
If he replies to me, his next line will be to insult my masculinity and/or confidence.
Yeah, that's why I'm wondering. Here in Europe you'd usually rather go by bus even if you have the car, because good fucking luck getting parking spot in the city.
It becomes a necessity if you live in the countryside of have kinds though.
You are probably a Roman or some other barbarian.
So how do you write? In comic sans?
>So how do you write?
With a keyboard.
>requires people to know how to ride a bike
>I ride a bike to the game
>with a backpack filled with food
>his palms get sweaty when he sees me
>his eyes widen
>suddenly, he bursts screaming
>MUH RUUUUUURUUUUS, GET OUT NERD, REEEEEEEE
Are you telling me that you can not write with a pen? How do you even fill a character sheet?
Troll confirmed
Do you fill in your character sheet in cursive?
This is Veeky Forums, I write in Papyrus.
They were also gay as a matter of pride
Is there a required writing length or not?
I threw up just a little.
Quality bait.
>How do you even fill a character sheet?
I make a form-fillable PDF and fill that in.
With a keyboard.
>That helps get rid of special ed kids
And yet here you are.
I went to school in the 90s, and they quit teaching that shit a year or two after my class. That's roughly the last time I ever needed to write anything with a pencil anyway.
>players must be able to do 5 pushups or run a 5k
You must have arms like spaghetti if you think these are anywhere near equivalent. I'm a 300+ lbs fatty, but I can do significantly more than 5 pushups.
>must be able to write in cursive
Only people 25 and up? That's fine.
>must be able to drive or ride a bike
I feel for anyone who doesn't even know how to ride a bike.
>no new rocks, converse, crocs or skechers
I don't even know what any of those are, but I don't own any new shoes at all.
>no tracksuits, sweatpants, tighty-whities or t-shirts
Aaand you lost me. Do you have a minimum in inches of make up for people to join in, as well?
Okay so what if my boxers are kinda cum stained. Is that okay?
>>players must be able to do 5 pushups or run a 5k
There is a huge difference in the fitness required to do these two tasks. Up the number of push ups if you want this to be relevant.
Also I'm a fat ass but I run a 5k every weekday. You fucked up kid.
>>must be able to write in cursive
Only children know how to write in cursive because you're taught in grade school and promptly never do it again. I only relearned for my signature.
>Also I'm a fat ass but I run a 5k every weekday.
Something's wrong with you.
Shit memory
That would make sense if I didn't lose track of time nearly constantly. I find it easier to just trust the players to keep track themselves, I've already got a lot to keep track of.
>Something's wrong with you.
I enjoy running. I always enjoy eating like a fat pig. I ain't round but I am overweight for sure. Going on like 225.
>There is a huge difference in the fitness required to do these two tasks.
ditto for the "bike or car" one
My rules
>You have to at least be normie adjacent
>Nothing lewd
>No playing on your phone or 3DS
>No Joke Characters
The point of that one isn't fitness, numbnuts
>If you wanna drink, I'll allow it as long as it's in moderation and it' nothing heavy.
>Unless you're new to the class you're playing or the system I will not look up information for you.
>No playing music with lyrics. Nothing more distracting than shitty rap.
>Don't bring your emotional baggage/drama to the table. We're here to have fun not have the mood spoiled.
>No Magical Realm shit.
>no food on the table unless it's snack time
>not having the table covered in food and people share and help themselves
>no "thingies"
>3) Creation of characters - 3d6 down the line drop lowest
That shit is dumb as fuck, however I have a question for the non-retarded itt. I enjoy the randomness of rolling for states but point buy generally gives players lower stats. So what I want to know is their a way to roll for states and maintain a generally lower set of stats for players?
The problem is one of my groups is pure cancer, one of the players literally made a "lol I'm a bear" character, but everyone rolled pretty normally except for one player rolled three 18s for in his stats the other don't go below 14. He has ruined the game because he is the best at everything, He, as a barbarian, is more intelligent than the wizard, more charismatic than the bard, and more dexterous than the rouge. How can I stop that shit from happening in future games.
Also if anyone is interested, no I can not leave the group or disband it because the group is made up of my girlfriend and her college friends and she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or "lose friends" because I don't want to DM for them anymore.
Fap under the table, not above.
>He has ruined the game because he is the best at everything, He, as a barbarian, is more intelligent than the wizard, more charismatic than the bard, and more dexterous than the rouge. How can I stop that shit from happening in future games.
Stop using systems where your stats account for 90% of your character's ability to influence events within the game environment.
>short sleeve collared shirts
>fashion
Oh boy you dunnit
>>no tracksuits, sweatpants, tighty-whities or t-shirts
Is going topless an option?
If you get really drunk or high and do something stupid, no take backs.
We are in this together, but this is mostly about you guys.
If you are having an unfun time, tell me and we will work out how to make it fun again.
I like all of your rules, but the drinking one is a bit sticky. I drink a lot and I'm a big guy, 2 drinks does essentially nothing to me, and what's more is I sometimes have a lot of difficulty loosening up enough to be a good GM. Being a little drunk helps me relax and not worry so much about whether or not I'm doing a good job. I agree that you shouldn't get drunk drunk at a game: if it becomes a problem I just remove the player or end the session; I once kicked a guy out because he wouldn't ever be sober enough to okay after an hour, But everyone else got the hint. Weed though, is 100% banned, I've never seen anyone including myself be anything but a sleepy bore while playing high.
Having one player have high stats isn't a huge issue.
What he's got 18 INT compared to the wizzards 16-17? That's a +1 difference, and I can tell you after items and level progression, the wizard will have more INT in the end. Same goes for everyone else. Especially since it's a barbarian anyway. If he doesn't have any caster levels, he's not going to be doing much with a high INT, he won't be sneak attacking regardless of his DEX.
>tl;dr worry about your own character and what you're capable of, pussy
> Do you have a set of house rules when gaming, user?
"Don't be a dick about things you don't like."
"Don't be obnoxious about things you like."
This is pretty much it.
My players are fucking adults, for fuck's sake, and I expect them to be able to uphold them to the standards of human dignity without me explicitly throwing the RURUS at them.
The real question here, though, is why the fuck do you feel the need to explicitly throw rules at people?
Are you so socially inept that you have to resort to the X-card equivalent? Or are your players so socially inept that they don't understand when they are being shitters? If so, why the fuck do you continue playing with them, you limp-wristed faglord?
Ok, but after all this we ARE playing an high-mortality sword and sandal with extra godly dickings, metaphorical and not, aren't we?
>The real question here, though, is why the fuck do you feel the need to explicitly throw rules at people?
>Are you so socially inept that you have to resort to the X-card equivalent? Or are your players so socially inept that they don't understand when they are being shitters? If so, why the fuck do you continue playing with them, you limp-wristed faglord?
OP doesn't actually play RPGs, dum-dums.
I've always felt that if people are on their phones for impractical reasons, the GM must be doing a poor job.
My group usually eats before the session, either individually or throwing in on a pizza.
> 225 is overweight
Manlet detected.
>three 18s
Dude's cheating.
...
225 at 6'0" is obese. 210 is overweight.
Usually, my only rule is no cell phones. The reason for that is I had a player who I think had legitimate ADHD, and the temptation to get on his phone while playing was too strong.
Otherwise my players are okay enough that I don't have to hammer down anything drastic. Perhaps just wait for me to finish when I'm describing something, before asking questions.
225 is even overweight at 6'4 user, unless you're a bodybuilder.
That's pretty much nonsensical.
t. 6' 0" @ 220 pounds
>must be able to write in cursive
Do you also require them to be able to ride a horse?
You must be from SoCal, they're the only people I can think of who would rate 2 drinks as incoherently drunk
You must be from Pakistan, because only by being that foreign would you fail in reading like this.
Hint: they allow 2. It is the 3rd that is forbidden.
>no t-shirts
Nigger what
They play shirtless. Players take damage by having paperclips shot at them. You heal players by rubbing their chests down with olive oil
It's weird how most people don't know how to ride horses.
But then again I suck at cursive writing.
t. cowboy