Mustering a Regiment (rollup thread)

Awright, step lively, hustle up, one two one two! You louts are the sorriest sacks of shit I have ever seen! I don't know how in the Emperors blessed name you're meant to fight the enemies of humanity, but our great acting high general Roboute Guilliman - blessings of the Emperor be upon him, son of the Emperor hisself - has seen to it in his infinite and unquestionable wisdom to authorize the raising of a regiment to fight the enemies of Man! And by the Emperor, he will have his regiment, even if I have to cut every last one of you gobshites into peices and sew you back together into the shape of proper soldiers!

Now sound off! What sort of regiment is this!? (d100)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=HJNz2QgSNsk
1d4chan.org/wiki/Hua_Yuan_Exterminators#Las-Uzi
1d4chan.org/wiki/Ork_Klan_Creation_Tables
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Rolled 89 (1d100)

S-S-SIR YES SIR I'M SORRY SIR I'LL DO BETTER SIR

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A BIT AHEAD OF OURSELVES! THE FIRST CAST WAS A D10! But we'll make use of you yet, Private Shitbed! Lets see what the charts say!

Emperor preserve us, you putrid bags of Ork piss are Convicts the lot! Emperor-damned criminals, given one last chance to die with a bit of dignity and honor as you scream and shit yourself like the ninnies you are!

Right, but back to the first bit! (1d10 I fucked up)

...

youtube.com/watch?v=HJNz2QgSNsk

...

...

...

...

Rolled 6 (1d10)

YES SIR AAAAAAAA

welp

A PDF. BY GOD, NOT ONLY ARE YOU SACKS OF CRIMINAL SHIT, BUT YOU'RE USELESS ONES TOO!

Well this is just fucking awful! But no need to fear, we'll beat you into a proper fighting force - and then beat you some more for good measure!

Now, since you're a penal legion, we can guess how you lot get 'recruited'. So skipping along, d100 for homeworld classification!

Rolled 31 (1d100)

When are we allowed to go home, sir?

S-sir? Are you alright? Why are you still staring at Private Shitbed?

is op kill?

would anyone object if someone else took over ar are we gonna wait for OP?

The colonel had a seizure yelling at private Shitbed. He's in his tent.

>Penal PDF
>Colonel has a seizure the first day of training his troups

Like clockwork.

Rolled 33 (1d100)

"Where the hell are you from anyway, private? "
"Sir ! A feral world, sir !"
"Well, NOW ROLL A D100 TO TELL ME WHAT IS YOUR WORLD'S PREDOMINANT TERRAIN !"

Rolled 78 (1d100)

no idea sir!

>feral convicts
Now I see why the colonel had a seizure.

>Urban

Well ! Not only are you a big load of criminal shitstains stuck on a single world, but you are braindead cityboys as well !

Now, let's see this tactical document...
d100 for telling me what are your core units !

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>feral urban youth convicts

>heavily urbanised planet collapsed into warring feral tribes, recently recolonised by the Imperium as a penal world

>Escape from LA: the regiment

how do u do the roll thing with bolded text

type dice+1d00 into the options menu

>Mechanized Infantry

BY THE EMPEROR'S HOLY THRONE, WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE ?!

Now d10 for your Specialization !

Rolled (1d0)

Reporting for duty!

It gets better and better

This regiment will end in my Deathwatch campaign.

Rolled 7 (1d10)

I have no idea sir, i just got recruited!

Ever play that shitty N64 game with tanks and petrol had run out as well as hot tank babes so you fought wars over babes and gas in tanks?

This is sorta like that. With even less babes. Or more depending on how you want to look at it.

STEP UP YOUR GAME, PRIVATE !

NOW, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT !

... Ranged Combat ? Which means I'll have to teach ya all the fine art of Not-missing-your-targets ! You better start using those bird-brains of yours, if you wanna make me proud !

d10 again, this time for your Loyalty Rating (I mean, you are loyal to the Emperor... right ?)

Rolled 3 (1d10)

I think we are sir...

This regiment is a god damned mess, thematically

Fanatical: No remorse, no retreat, no fear to have !

Maybe you sorry bunch are worth something after all ! I like your spirits, at least, Ave Imperator !
Now let's ask to the munitorum what you will get as your special equipment : d10 !

Rolled 1 (1d10)

'opefully somfing shooty boss... I mean sir!

This holy shit!!! With a Commander who is just Snake Plissken!

Rolled 1 (1d10)

Rolling for what special equipment this PDF of convicts has been "given"

Rolled 68 (1d100)

Wait, equipment is d100...

Also, really, traditional weapons?

So were using special made gangbanger uzis or something?

Lasuzi when?

68 on the special equipment is "Augmented Troops", but we could stick with the 1s and be normal guys

ARE YOU QUESTIONING YOUR OFFICER, PRIVATE ?!
(sorry, I goofed)

Anyway, let's see what is hidden in this shiny new crate. Gimme that crowbar...

>Modified Weaponry

Wait, are those things even sanctioned ? Let's just hope those modifications won't make the regiment's cogfappers too nervous...

And now : d100 for your creed !

Rolled 6 (1d100)

what they won't know won't hurt them sir!

No wait, I misread that as 98... JUST LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME !

Normal weaponry it is, then. Sorry boys !
Back to the program. d100 for creed.

Years ago 1d4chan.org/wiki/Hua_Yuan_Exterminators#Las-Uzi

How'd you get Modified Weaponry from that?
Las-uzis it is then!

For the Homeworld!

It may be a feral urban shithole, but god-emperor-damn we will prove it can make soldiers!

>For The Homeworld: This regiment's mission is to demonstrate the skill and steel of the homeworld to the rest of the Imperium.

I-I think I need some time to relieve the pressure through intense meditating, privates.

Meanwhile, please roll to know what are our Regiment's Friends.

Rolled 72 (1d100)

Normal weaponry, but we're augmented sir!
Bomb collars count as augments, right?

Rolling for regimental friends, sir!

Looks like you managed to prove your worth to a guard regiment, perhaps you have some use after all...
1d100 for whoever you managed to annoy more than you usually do.

Bomb collars do count as augm... wait, how do you even now that we put bombs inside of your collars ?!

Nevermind. Our friends are...
>Imperial Guard (of a specific world)

At least, with have some sort of basic external support in our duty, which kind of makes sense. I'll let you vote for which known regiment is currently allied to us.

d100 for our ennemies !

Rolled 28 (1d100)

We made some enemies, boss - sir I meant.

>Orks
And there we have it ! Hope you that you are ready for the next wave, lads...

>wait, how do you even now that we put bombs inside of your collars ?!
Sir we are not that stupid, sir.

should we roll up the ork faction as well?
we're feral worlders, by rights we shouldn't know what a bomb even is

URBAN feral worlders

>our city is so dangerous it is classified as a feral world
feelsbadman.holo

>Urban Feral Worlders, mechanized PDF, with or without modified sniper rifles, supporter by the imperial guard in their struggle against the orks

Oh boy.

technoviking?

what shall we name this mostrousity?

You could use this chart to satiate your curiosity, I guess.
>1d4chan.org/wiki/Ork_Klan_Creation_Tables

Commissar out for now. Be quiet.

Urban convicts feral worlders.

I'd say, former civilized world which regressed to a mad-max-tier world, and now that the imperium reclaimed it it is used as a prison world. The PDF simply rides warbuggies and other assorted ramshackle vehicles.

ALRIGHT YA GITS, WE'Z GOT A KLAN TO MAKE!!
wot kinda klan are we first? (1d10

This is pretty cool now!

Mechanised Infantry that fights at range... Dragoons maybe?

How dumb does the Pliskan Penal Dragoons sound, if we're doing "Escape from LA/New York: the regiment"?

Rolled 1 (1d10)

OY !

I like it a lot.

We should nickname them "the Snakes"

>Pliskan's snakes

We'z a roight proper klan, but wots our colour?
(1d100)

Rolled 60 (1d100)

"ORK" is dah color, boss.

Yellow! Da flashiest colour! We's swimmin' in teef!
who's da brst ork we'z ever 'ad? wot's 'e dun?
(1d10 for role, 1d100 for deed)

Rolled 41 (1d100)

'e wasn't a git

Dis 'ere grot's got lotsa dakka, an; now we's got 'eaps o' ded spiky 'umies

Now the big question; GORK OR MORK?!?!? (1d10)

SIR, THE REGIMENT HAS BEEN OVERRUN BY ORK FUNGUS, WHAT SHOULD WE DO??

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE HAVE TANKS FOR PRIVATE?! THESE TANKS ARE NOT JUST HERE TO BE FLOWER BOXES, THESE FINE MACHINES WILL NOT ONLY DRIVE TO THE ENEMY BUT THROUGH THEM AS WELL!

AND ONCE WE ARE IN THE MIDST OF THE BATTLE YOU WILL TAKE YOUR SHOOTING SKILLS AND TURN ANY ORK THAT COMES WITHIN 20 PCAES OF THIS TANK IN FERTILIZER!

AND IF THE ENEMY BEGINS TO FIRE ANTI-TANK WEAPONRY AT YOUR GLORIOUS VEHICLE AND/OR TRIES TO SUBJUGATE IT, IT IS EXPECTED THAT YOU WILL SACRIFICE YOUR PITIFUL LIFE FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF NOT ONLY THIS FINE MACHINE BUT AS THE IMPERIUM AS A WHOLE!

NOW LETS GO GET US SOME MEDALS BOYS!

Hey captain autism. How's about about a summary post

>that tank
I'm lovin it.

not same guy, but so far :

>Pliskan Penal Dragoons
>Nicknamed "Pliskan's snakes", or "The Snakes"
>Urban convicts feral worlders
>Mechanized, ranged fighters, use modified weaponry
>Former civilized world which regressed to a mad-max-tier world, reclaimed to be used as a prison world. The PDF rides warbuggies and other assorted ramshackle vehicles
>main ennemies are Orks

SIR, I THINK I UNDERSTOOD YOUR ORDERS, SIR.

And the ork faction's roll up?

Green cunts, same as always (maybe flash gitz, idk)

Mechanized regiment, fighting orks... maybe the specific friends in the IG are the Steel Legions and we fight in the Armageddon wars?

Rolled 89 (1d100)

SUH!

Nah, dude. Snake is an Independent character, tasked with going /swag/ solo.

>I'd say, former civilized world which regressed to a mad-max-tier world, and now that the imperium reclaimed it it is used as a prison world. The PDF simply rides warbuggies and other assorted ramshackle vehicles.

This isn't a description of an IG regiment, it's a goddamn Gorkamorka gang.

Rolled 7 (1d10)

WAAAGH!!!

Gork an' Mork is both good!
'ow many boyz we got? (1d10) 'ow big is they? (1d10)

Rolled 7 (1d10)

WE BETTER HAZ LOTZ O BOYZ!

wez got boys for a fight! but is they big? (1d10)

>Former digganobs drafted to help fight against the Ork invasion on Armageddon.
I.
Am.
So.
There.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

our boyz is roight propa size!
now, 'o do we wanna krump first? (1d100 for enemies)

Modified weaponry, mad-max-tier world, pdf... We must use recoiless rifles. for convict feral world city boys we fight with what ever we get.

YOU WANT AUTOCANNON'S AND LASCANNON'S? THATS TOO DAMN BAD, HOW THEY HELL DO YOU EXPECT YOUR FELLOW MONGOLOID COMRADES TO MAINTAIN SOPHISTICATED WEAPONRY. YOU USE BOOM TUBES! YOU USE SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE WEAPONRY. YOU DON'T RELY ON YOU'RE WEAPONS TO KILL THE ENEMY. YOU RELY ON YOURSELF TO KILL THE ENEMY.

but we should figure out what type of arsenal we are running with. Since it's pdf feral world convicts low to mid tech should be the way to go. Recoil-less rifles for days

Rolled 12 (1d100)

Rolling for Feral-Prison-PDF-Mech Infantry.

DER'S UVA ORKS ON OUR TURF!!! WAAAGH!!! (Digga pdf + orks vs invading ork klan?)

You ever have a passive aggressive drill sergeant?

I BET YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY IM ANGRY, DONT YOU CADET?! WELL IM NOT GOING TO tell YOU WHY IM ANGRY! YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW!! BUT IN CASE YOU DONT, IMMA THROW ALL YOUR GEAR OUT THIS HERE PLANE!!

I BET YOUVE BEEN SEEING OTHER DRILL SERGEANTS BEHIND MY BACK, HAVENT YOU CADET!!

no, no other seargents boss i mean sir!