GALACTIC FEDERATION

>GALACTIC FEDERATION MEETING TWO
Representative Inkito: It was with urgency that we had to attend to a domestic affair about a rogue house. Currently, we have met a strange and peculiar species, in the southern regions by the name of the.... humans. We wish to discuss about them. As the representative of the Imperial Ploraxian Realms, I hereby begin this session.

Yes. They appear to have a rudimentary level of technology and are what appears to be a "Citizen Republic". While their citizens are not oppressed as much, they are mildly xenophobic, and are facing threats from a malevolent hive mind. Should we come to their aid?

They also have made contact with a ship of ours, the Sword of Ithonak. We have established a cease-fire with them, and we hope to establish further relations; the hive mind, however is a dangerous entity. We sent a group of three corvettes to make contact, and all three were destroyed. All survivors were eaten by the hive. I wish to hear the opinions of this incident.

Greetings Federation, I am the elected speaker for the United Waroo Colonies, that lies beyond the galactic core. We wish to extend our [primary appendage] to you in hopes of a prosperous future between our peoples

Yes. I wish the same for a prosperous future between our two species. I am the representative for the sovereign Imperial Ploraxian Realms, ruled by Emperor Kinrotos XVI and the elected Court of Advisers. We wish you a strong future. The Waroo are welcome into the Realms, as long as you accept Kinrotos XVI as your emperor and accept governance by any of the 30 main houses. We do have a situation at hand, and we would wish to speak about it.

We the Collective are still open to talks of trade and any questions.

And on the topic of the humans what is the nature of this hive mind?

I am Aun'El Dal'yth Jaxara of the Tau
Call me Jaxara or Aun'El please.
Your galactic federation is truly great.
I am sure humanity would join it.

Mmmm~ Sounds like they could use hugs! They shall become friends of the Blorg!
Resistance is impolite.

They are very, very malevolent. We may even have to declare a war to help the humans
Welcome, Representative Jaxara. The Serenity Complex and the IPR welcomes you towards the foundation for peace. Yes, I am sure of that. Humanity; you know them. We would be indebted for your information
I am sure of that. Hail, blorg, you are welcome.

Were here already, you pathetic subhuman
recognize our divine mandate over galaxy or we'll deep fry your unborn babies!

In that case we shall offer out military as support as well as our Deep Children to be used for shock and awe weapons if need be.

Humans....what the hell. This.... but.... how? How? You already have the empire, the....
Get the Ministry of Xenobiology here. Now.
Excellent. We shall send a fleet and also 5 regiments of infantry and 2 regiments of armor to help. We also wish to learn about non-hive species in your empire.

We wish for more ties towards your empires.

*taking her away*
huh, how did she got in.
Sorry for that
So hello, filthy xe... I mean, fellow milkywayers
I am ambassador Antonius Chlorus from Mankind Dominion
Sorry for that incident, some of our kind are a bit...impulsive
So, if you have any questions, I am eager to answer

AY WHAT'S GOOD SQUISHIES

Y'ALL LOOK TASTY

Hello there. From the documents we have gained from the Human Union, we believe you were survivors of a colony ship sent as an experiment, correct? We have heard about your xenophobic impulses and your abuses against sapients and humans. Do not think that we are for your government.

We have none. We are all there is, our creation is not a natural one. We were created centuries ago by an unknown species that had used a genetic virus on multiple planets, we are the outcome. The virus has long since become inert around the time we gained sentience, any planet in our realms are a result of terraforming dead planets with the Deep Children, or whipping out hostile elements.

Desist. Now.

Any details on this hivemind Representative?

Good. We hope that all planets which are under your domain once we deal with the hive mind shall be looked after by a join peacekeeping force as well.

The Ogrum-Jett are interested in the industrial applications of your species' biological components.

We request a sample of gigagrams of prime specimen for evaluation.

OOOO YOU TRYNA PICK A FIGHT WITH ME, BRUV?

I'LL FUCKIN EAT YOU I SWEAR ON ME SWARMLORD

>we believe you were survivors of a colony ship sent as an experiment, correct?
We think that it is a false theory and is not plausible.
This document of yours is fabricated by us, on local image board from far-east Asian origin by the process, that my people call "shitposting"
>We have heard about your xenophobic impulses and your abuses against sapients and humans
This was in the past. Now as we progress we are changing our attitude towards your vil... eh, I mean amazing kinds
This information is hidden.
We are eager to cooperate, but you must take your ethics and interests into an account.

This would be acceptable, and we would be willing to offer any forces required for any military need, our forces are quite versatile and we can alter their genetics for any need.

Although we respect your way of life and which for the wellbeing of your rules, we have our own government that cannot simply be undermined by a foreign sovereignty, no offense Representative.

Do not.

The representative here is not a threat, and his species are not a threat. There are no representatives, and are also highly malevolent. We do not want their presence as a sovereign state.

Deep frying our unborn babies as you put it is quite impossible when it comes to Waroos as we grow in liquid pools and emerge fully grown after 3650 days.

Please, dont take her words seriously.
She has certain problems and we are taking care of this.
P.S. We dont eat sapient beings, if that relives you

WE WON'T ALLOW YOU TO HARVEST THE GALAXY TO SLAKE YOUR REPUNGENT HUNGER. WE'VE SWORE OUR EXSISTANCE TO THE DEFENSE OF ALL LIFE IN THE GALAXY.

I disapprove of every act that this council has done
The only acceptable course of action is genocide to once again prove to the great giant masters in the heavens that we truly are the goodest boys

WE HAD TROUBLES WITH OUR HAILING DEVICE. APOLOGIES.

No harm done Ambassador, but we would like to expend our appendage to you in hopes of forming lasting peace between our two species

Hahaha, yes. Biology contradicts threats, I see.
We were not talking about undermining your government. We were talking about a migration treaty!
Very well then, we hope for a industrious and jovial relationship between our two species. Your abuses will stop, and we will send a 2,000 man force for peacekeeping on afflicted worlds. No. Our people are not for sale, Orgum-Jett.

Forgot pic and name

i move that we manipulate the machine consciousness in to deal with the hive mind, place them in an octarius scenario.

We have apprehended her, and we believe she is a member of a far-right party in your system. I cannot believe such dogma still exists today, Ambassador. There is no harm done.
Desist immediately, or incur the wrath of the federation upon your empire.

I'M SORRY WHAT WAS THAT

I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF HOW HUNGRY I AM

MEESA ELECT TO GIVE EMERGENCY POWERS TO THE FEDERATION CHANCELLOR

sorry, forgot name here
Ah yes, if it is not the Savage Pack. We know about you and your kind, savages. You killed my family during the first war of Borsis.

I must have misunderstood you Representative, I see we still have some hiccups in the translation software that we need to address too. But we would very much approve of a migration treaty

We are eager to cooperate, delic... Venerable elected speaker.
>We have apprehended her, and we believe she is a member of a far-right party in your system. I cannot believe such dogma still exists today, Ambassador. There is no harm done.
Glad to hear that

What more do you wish to know about Humans and Mankind Dominion.

There are no emergency powers right now, I think you are mistaken, Gungan.

Wait, weren't you those AI revolutionaries who rebelled against the Human Republic and tried to conquer the galaxy? What caused this change of heart?

I do not believe any species does.
It's much better to kill it first.

We wish to send a team into your government to learn about your processes.

Only if you stop blockading our breeding worlds
The war was justified and the destruction of 86 worlds was done by your peoples scorched earth policy

Scorched earth? You mean colonists defending themselves from your massive suicide charges!
We are willing to stop blockading them after sufficent compensation. We won, emissary, do not forget that.

What kind of spheres are you interested in specifically?

Or.
Or.
We could talk this out.

We should go to the humans in peace.

What is this book of fourcorner about and why is it so widspread amongst you?

NAH MAN, THE DOGS ARE IRREDEEMABLY EVIL

WE CAN TAKE CARE OF THEM IF YOU WANT, I HEAR THEY'RE DELICIOUS

You have not won ambassador
You may have captured our home world, but who's land doubled?
Who lost more men?
Who gained more wealth?
If anything ambassador you should learn how to co-operate
The union is at war with over 10 empires
You don't need enimies and you sure as hell can't take a 20 front assault
And you call what the colonist did defending themselves?
Having your army destroy every world they lost and not evacuating the colonist left on the world?

I am High Imperator Dalgan of the Crayd Combine. Normally I'd have sent Grakar in my stead because I am trying to spend some more family time with my four wives and twenty-six children, but I heard that there is several situations so I decided to show up personally.

Ages of violence on Crayd, a Death World, has honed the Krayken physique to peak condition. This naturally makes us suitable for combat. If you need assistance with war effort, you can ask us to send our ground warriors to give you a helping hand. You need not equip them with equipment, for they will come with titanium armor and automatic plasma cannons. Don't think about trying to take our equipment, for it's rigged to explode if the warrior dies or it's taken away from them.

I don't believe in being "irredeemable."
I can show him the greater good.

I thought the frogs killed you all back on ngrath?

It is called bible amongst us.
It is about god and origins of mankind and is a sacred scripture of our faith. It was somewhat questionable few decades ago, but as our psionic potential is slowly revealing, we are gaining more answers regarding previously doubtful questions.
I, being a beginning psyker, also partake in this process.

Stop blackading our breeding worlds
You may have "won" the first war but you need to cut your loses and let our empire be
Else we envoke the wrath of the great giants to once more probe we are the goodest boys

Ah hello there Imperitor Dalgan.
Hearing what you've said, might you wish to join the greater good?
Your warriors are formidable indeed and they could get technology that will keep them alive in close to any combat situation.

AND I CAN SHOW THEM A COMPLETE TOUR OF MY DIGESTIVE TRACT, BEFORE THEY GENOCIDE YOUR SORRY ASSES, GUESS WHICH COURSE OF ACTION ENDS WITH YOU BEING STILL ALIVE

SHUT UP AND GET INSIDE ME, YOU SAUCY BASTARDS

By humans, dogs are refered as our best friends
We think that you shall be fine sl...partners

Your proposal has been refused.
We've seen what happens to captured Tau.
Join the greater good and we shall forgive your kind.

I know it's a bit off topic but since there isn't usually many Stelaris thread I want to talk about an Incident that Once befell my Empire of Amalgamated States. It's a warlike country Collectivist in nature. Through a bit of luck initial expansion was massive i easily had 5 or so sectors by the time my western expansion was halted by another empire, hilariously enough it was the Human Federation (my species was the Humanoid Imperials) as a military society surrounded by weak pacifist neighbors I did what I do best. Expand. every planet conquered, half of it's population would be forcefully relocated to a core world for extermination commissars and orbital mind control lasers would quickly bring the remaining populace inline with the Nations values. as this cycle continued of unanswered expansion it finally came to a tipping point. The Federation called the Glorious Entente a conglomerate of pacifist decided my crimes had to be punished. what I did not expect however was the remaining 3 other factions in the galaxy to also declare war. So it was the Glorious Entente, the Bright Compact, the Stellar Axis, and the Bright Pact all flooded into my borders in what would be refereed to as The Bad War. a 75 year long conflict where where i had numerous fleets ravaging the galaxy destroying all they could while armies of Xenomorph riding Gene Warriors my Stellar Knights bravely fought off enemy armies on the home worlds and endured countless bombardments.

I do not wish to impede on anyone else here, but the united Waroo colonies have encountered an issue near the galactic core. Namely a little (huge) piracy problem have started attacking freight shuttles and transport ships in the area, and our fleets are off holding a galactic behemoth in check from devouring the stars where our frontier colonies orbit. So any ships that any of you could spare would be a great help to us

The Empire of Qxlktl addresses the council!

4 months ago, the Federation supplied us with a fleet of ships to navigate our vessels around the Split Hand Anomaly. The 22.3% loss of valuable cargo and life has been deemed unsatisfactory. Yet, the Federation has failed to provide compensation for their error.

We await your response.

Long Live the Royal Grubs.

Its funny that you mentioned your faith, since, as we deciphered your language and read it, mentions that everything in this universe is made for Humans and how humans are supreme entities. Is this your faith? You are willing to enslave others? You view others as lesser species?

WE COULD HELP, BUT FIRST WE NEED TO KNOW

ON A SCALE FROM ONE TO TEN, HOW TASTY WOULD YOU SAY THESE PIRATES ARE

I decline your offer. The Greater Good is not for us. Perhaps another time.

We shall send 40 sun shark bombers.
Will you need anything else?

The Propane Guilds support this action. Our security forces are overwhelmed by the Dog menace. Propane is the key to the intergalactic economy!!

Any aid we can get is helpful, what do you want as compensation, minerals, energy, food?

I will never understand the Propane Guilds' obsession with propane, when plasma perform the roles of propane in more efficient ways.

Um... hello. We're sort of new to space travel, but we can manage short jumps. We've colonized a couple worlds in our local system.

I'm not quite sure how I got here... you all seem to be chiming in via hologram or something, but the best I can manage right now is radio... What should I do? Should I just leave?

Your kind abandoned us on a desolate world
Left us to rot and die
We evolved past what you made us
However, the council of alphas has ordered me to let the wounds of the past to heal
I am willing to negotiate if you drop the agree to blockade on our breeding worlds
Lies and slander

Offtopic: Yeah, you should rest a while between genociding and Aggressive expansion

I... dont know what you are referring to.
We think that we are image of our Father and shall be benevolent governors of this universe, justly ruling it in his name, however we are certainly not eager to enslave anyone.
We think that we are beyond this universe and in a broken condition after fall, and we shall regain our perfection.
I dont understand, why would you think that we want to enslave anyone.

DID SOMEONE SAY FOOD

WE'LL HELP YOU NO PROBLEM, WE HAVE AN ASSLOAD OF BIO-SHIPS READY TO FUCK SHIT UP, WE HAVE SO MANY WE DON'T EVEN COUNT THEM

JUST REV UP THE FRYERS

I shall send your message to Earth.
We certainly do not wish any kind of negative interactions with your kind and we sincerely apologies for our negligence.

Co-operate? You say this while you massacre civilians and innocents of all species, emmissary.

Heh. More dogma, our scientists have known for a long time that the shroud is erratic, and is impossible to harness.
No we wil not, you must pay for your crimes against the galaxy.
There are multiple snactions, and you will not do this.
Ah, if you see a bonus of 5000 billion credits and 4 construction ships have been sent tyou your empire, speaker.
We welcome both into the war effort. At 00:70 we will start the invasion at the Delares system against the hive.
You are welcome here, and you may join us.
>Slander
Say that again, one more time? We have liberated POWS from your death camps, many have died.

Forgive me, I forgot my name again.

This reminds me of the cringy RP threads on NationStates. Thanks.

cool. No one cares.

Join what though? Is it required to exchange value to contribute or be contributed to? Should my accompanying morphology be alerted in any way to be more suitable? We just drew lots to decide who to send over... it was thought there was a roughly fifty percent chance the chosen emissary would be eaten...

>Heh. More dogma, our scientists have known for a long time that the shroud is erratic, and is impossible to harness.
Our psykers tend to disagree. Our species are working on to find ways to harness it and we hope, that we shall achieve our sacred mission.

Alright then. Welcome to the war efforts. Head to the world of Delares IV, there we are organizing everything. You will get compensation, in the form of this ----Very well then, you may join.

Well, I wish you the best of luck then. We tried, and failed, even with the best of our species.
Join the Federation, we will help you.

Alright, with the support of Generals Korinto, Julius, Shadowshark, and Ovoo'Lezuru, we shall begin the invasion.

It's not really cool, I didn't think Veeky Forums'd get this shitty.

This is a direct message to all aliens in the vast galaxy who can hear this.

LEAVE THE IRENIC KINGDOM OF THE FENKIN ALONE
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT ENTERING OUR SACRED BORDERS
FAIL TO COMPLY AND WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO DESTROY YOU

And stop trying to domesticate us like we're some kind of animals! Fenkin are NOT pets!

We're a grand, proud and beyond civilized people who do not wish to be in the presence of degenerate lesser beings, especially those who would want to, ugh, pet us.

Any alien scum found trespassing our borders will be shot at on sight by our battle stations installed with numerous sniper railguns. The deal is simple. Leave us alone, and you will not face death by mass railcannon.

Got it?

Good.

View screen off.

I am in a position to evaluate this. Slight translation malfunction the previous transmission. What would be the cost of joining? What are the benefits?

>Well, I wish you the best of luck then. We tried, and failed, even with the best of our species.
perhaps because, your species are not destined for it. As I said, we are Image of our Father. one of our sacred missions is to be mediators between Him and you. once we achieve it, we shall be eager to share our glory to all living beings.

Dont play your honey talks on me, ambassador Antonius. Ill stop playing. We know your history. You are malevolent entities, that are all about death and genocide. Your entire culture is based on death. you're bane of this universe. Yes, I know about your "fall", the day when you appeared to our universe. Banished, to be exact. I know, as terror flash that followed it wiped out nearly entire universe. Thanks to you, I am only one left of my species on my barren cold planet. My venerable, near immortal kind died, because of you. These new races don't remember that. You are right. You are not from our universe. And you are vermin. I dont even want to imagen what will you do after "ascedance" but you will pay for death of my people.

For the record
We saw several your vessels raiding our colonies on Exodus, Baal and Dawnstar and pillaging our settlements. We request explanation to this incident.

>Benefits
>A federation fleet to protect you
>You get a place for negotiations
>You can enjoy free trade with any associate and member
>You can get help in times of need
>You can also enjoy joint research treaties
>And, to top it off you can also be helped in times of rebellion
Costs:
You need rudimentary income to join
You also need a committee to review you
You also must provide to the Federation.

Welcome to the federation. You are needed for the war efforts.

Yes, I agree with this. We shall negotiate the conflict between our members. There is no infighting between members, and those who do will be removed and have sanctions placed on them.

Transmission to all inferior xeno:

You are all abominations. Our fleets will burn your worlds until nothing remains.

Not until your world is liberated and accepted as part of the federation.

I have not heard of these raids. You must be talking about disgraced Admiral Rakan's Rebellion, for he and a large number of deserters did not approve of the Combine's decision to cease all aggression and violence against neighboring empires. Rakan and his followers are trying to stir up anger and prejudice against the Krayken in hopes that we will be forced to regress to expansionistic warlords as a result.

Sapients, comrades! We must not fight. The Federation shall investigate this, for now we must deal with the hive.