What is the most bullshit roll you've ever seen, Veeky Forums?

What is the most bullshit roll you've ever seen, Veeky Forums?

rolling for Initiative.
>a total of 6d10 rolls on the table
>4 1's , 2 2's

on the other hand, we have that kind of bullshit almost every session

Every role that has plot significance

My last game I failed to roll anything above a 5.
I missed every attack, broke my weapon, ate every spell and then got arrested for something I didn't do.

3 natural 20 in a row...by the GM.

How would you react in this situation?

God, I hate francis so much.

Wasn't _a_ roll, was a local 40k tournament long long ago where I "won" a game by basically making every roll and my opponent failing everything. We chalked it up as a draw, it was just bullshit.
I think that was the same night that virus grenades got banned. Round one, virus, 90% or so of other army instadies... at least it was in round one so they had time to restart.

good to know darling

I almost killed the PCs this way the second session. A pack of wolves attacked them. The party tank went down in the first round.

4 consecutive 0's on damage in WH 2ed. I one-shoted a vampire that was mini boss of the campaign before she could deliver her boasting speech.
>You puny humans, how dare you BLAM!FIREBALLS!
Good times

He's an annoying fat fuck who I can't manage to muster sympathy for, but in all fairness that footage from the gif is staged I thought.

After three unsuccessful attacks with a chainsaw against a werewolf, the player got very angry and decided to ditch it b throwing it at him

The dice exploded enough for him to get a crit and lodge the chainsaw in the werewolf. It got ruled that since it kept cutting him, the werewolf couldn't regenerate. Then he jumps on him, dodges a 12 die grab somehow and brings the chainsaw down with 8 successes from 6 dice.

There goes the game of cat and mouse.

All the Francis videos are satire.

This. The guy himself seems okay. It's funny that he had to make a video where he had to explain that Francis was just a joke though.

He's degenerate anyway. Not for long without obamacare, though.

Oh man, my roll in death watch
>be me, tactical space wolf
>bolter master and witch bolts
>Chaos cult has rocked up to fuck with our fun
>roll lowest initiative on the table
>our devastator kills 20 cultists with 10 bullets
>unrelenting devastation ftw
>nek minuet a mother fuckering Tzeentch Defiler scuttles in
>my first turn is to shoot is just for a distraction while the rest of the kill squad gets to the tank
>shoot it with witch bolts, with all the extra D10's which bolts gave me
>witch bolts give an extra D10 of damage for every psy rating
>roll 7D10+5
>every single dice is a 10
>3 of the dice confirm righteous fury
>total damage 98 pen 5
>accidentally one shot a tank as a distraction
>table explodes in laughter
>just like the defiler

The first session of a friend's first game and a wolf crits his squishy halfling rogue and insta-kills him.

DM rolled two nat 20's.

I DM WFRP 2nd Ed game for 3 guys.

Everytime they meet female NPC they each roll d10 to see how attractive this NPC appears to their characters. It's their idea, i didn't mind, not that its going to influence the game or so i thought.

At the start of the second campaign they encountered mad Witch Hunter who was getting ready to burn innocent Apprentice Jade Sorceress who was actually possessed by minor Tzeentch demon.

They rolled three tens in a row, proceed to kill the Witch Hunter and went out of their way to make her their follower.

The demon continued to influence her, eventually took over and turned into sort of campaign's BBG by opening warp portal and summoning demons on their asses.

It was great game.

Whilst at a wargaming convention with my step brother he managed to roll 21 (Twenty-one!!!!) 1's all on separate dice... at the same time. He rolled 21 dice. ALL OF THEM 1's.

What are the odds of that?

Like, mathematically, what are the actual odds?

The same as rolling any other combination.

depends on how many sides the dice has, assuming its a D20 then its 21^20

Yeah that was bullshit brent

D&D 3.5, way back, probably in high school.

I was playing an Aasimar bard and we were in a tomb in Waterdeep. We almost got out, when right before the exit we were attacked by an Allip. Whiyh is a shadow-like undead. We were very low level, so the creature really messed us up. The thing is, Allips instantly die in sunlight, and Aasimars had the Daylight as a spell like ability in 3.5. Except I didn't know that cause I rolled a natural 1 on Bardic knowledge about it.

So it fucking killed me.

I'm still mad.

it was d6s

Don't know if it was bullshit, but Dm'ing my last session, I was just rolling terribly.

>Only War, party are ambushed in an agricultural township
>Heavy Weapons team on roof of the Town Hall
>Party transport crashes, people get out, get in cover in a house by the road
>Commissar decides to storm the house along with 6 noble guard NPCs
>Everyone rolls Storm across open ground
>Heavy Weapon team misses
>Hidden Sniper on the Grain Silo misses
>Clear Town Hall, about to storm roof
>Heavy Stubber braced and ready
>1 PC comes up stairs
>Hvy. Weapon team fires
>99, Heavy Stubber jammed
>PC and 3 NPCs zergrush Hvy. Weapon team, kill them /w grenade and melee
>Sniper on the grain silo finally has sweet targets at close range
>Called Shot to the head of the PC
>Thing thing cannot miss
>97, jam.

They went through an 18-man platoon of hostile NPCs with 4 PCs and and 3 NPCs (each with a comrade in cohesion)

The stormtrooper took 5 damage, and one of the NPCs very nearly bled out. No one else even got hurt.

A character rolled 5 20s in a row during combat.

Then he rolled double 20s in a roll that had advantage trying to break down a door.

Any game of Mordheim: CotD

When you keep rolling 80+, a dozen times in a row, something seems off.

some guy rolled 7 ones in a row in our silver tower group

Halfling with advantage and using luck -> 1 reroll 1 reroll 1, second roll 1 reroll 1 reroll 1.

The third luck point gave a 4 or something

The Daylight spell doesn't count as actual sunlight, never has.

Then the chance was (1/6)^21. Approximately 15 zeros following the decimal...pretty impressive

Only if you keep track of dice, which neither the game nor the players do.

>5e, Druid in bear form, attacking entangled enemy:
>Bite: roll 3 and 3, misses
>Claws: roll 2 and 2, misses
>what a productive turn
>Opponent gets up, attacks: 20 and 20, confirms with 18 and 18
>max damage, knocks me out of the wildshape

This was fucking ridiculous.

Why did you repeat 21?

> me
> rapier wielding noble.
> they
> bunch of zombies. Can hit me only on 18+ roll

"Stand back, i dispatch this thugs like they are nothing."
6 20 on d20.
"Aaaahhhh"

Had a fucking boss enemy roll 4's on 2d6 over and over and over for about six rounds of what should have been mortal combat.

>confirms

What?

Houserule.

>Playing anima
>Player activates teleport, he succeeds without rolling basically
>But needs to see if he gets it higher, chance of failure 3%
>2.
>100 on the roll for the failure
>He ends up passed out 5 fucking days

In that situation it is ok to fudge the rolls as the GM.

Truly you and your DM are faggots

I got three nat 1's during one of my first GM'ing sessions. Luckily the PCs were fighting against intentional jobbers. I fluffed it as them throwing their swords en-masse at the party, as an attempt to use "advanced unorthodox tactics".

No. That's not true. When rolling 2d6, for example, the chances of rolling a total of 2 is 1 in 36. The chance of rolling a 7 is 6 in 36, or 1 in 6.

The chances of rolling 21 with 21d6 is 1 in several billions. It's a really large number.

>5e
>confirming crits

you what

Can /pol/ please just go and stay in their fucking containment board please. Stop shitting up this hobby.

I rolled in the open.
Anyway, I always have a plan against TPK. At that time there were retreating soldiers in the forest, so they could show up before they were eaten by the wolves. Someone would probably lose something, but they would stay alive.

>REEEE DONT HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS

My table runs with crit success/fail on skill checks because our games are unadulterated cheese.

At one point we had to try and convince the ruler of a city of mages to help up fight the guy who's trying to end the world. Problem is that there have been time shenanigans this campaign, so to the king this guy hadn't actually done anything particularly alarming until the day before, where he BTFO'd the elf capital.

So the party face is trying to convince the ruler to give us a hand, and the DM has him roll a speech check.

>nat 20
>"OK damn that's impressive. So King opposes..."
>nat 1
>"well fuck"

>city goes from 'business as normal' to 'total war footing' in about a day
>every able bodied man and woman are drafted into the army
>the people who aren't able bodied are given enough enchanted equipment until it doesn't matter and then also drafted
>the small-time cult brewing in the city's homeless population is placed under direct command of the party minotaur, as he's their deity
>cult is given magic equipment out the ass, basically all high level elite soldiers now

We're still probably going to lose unless we can get the dwarves and orcs to pull their heads out of their collective asses and stop killing one another, but it's nice to have a victory every now and then.

We had a player introduce his new character, an egotistical sellsword. He offered to be hired by us for combat duties.
After failing to lie about something irrelevant as the first thing he said, we eventually took him with us anyway.
Come combat, he failed every attack, hurting us more than helping. It got to the point he only took dodge actions, as he figured it was more useful than attacking.

>53229824
It's never okay to "fudge" rolls. You pantywaisted faggot.

>3.0
>Epic levels
>BBEG, major demon, DR and SR over the charts
>We did some damage but overall he's wiping the floor with our asses
>Be transmute epic wizard
>Cast shapechange, turn into something ethereal
>Fly inside BBEG
>Shapechange into something big while inside BBEG
>Both BBEG and wizard take massive amount of damage
>DM instructs wizard roll 40d6
>Wizard is quite tanky, currently standing on 213 HP, should withstand easily the 140ish damage
> Dices are rolled, total comes up at 209
>WTF

In a Battletech tournament a guy rolled a 12 to hit, 12 hit location (head), and 12 critical (limb blown off) on the same shot. Those are three 12s on 2d6 in a row.... In the first shot of the game at long range the dude droped a 85 ton Battlemaster with a decapitation.

mordheim only uses d6s how did you get 80s?

This. The AI gets 5 crits on

Throwing a specific granade at phoenix command.

1-You throw an HG 78 granade to see if you hit (the granade not the sharpnel) a specific tile. Imagine you fail
2- Now you roll to see if you missed long or short (granade went to a tile between you and the tile you aimed or after the tile you aimed). The number you rolled with the the chance to hit, give the distance between the tile you aimed and the tile you hit. Imagine you hit the closest tile from the one you aimed.
3-Roll a 1d6 to find the tile around your aimed tile you hit. You find that there is someone at this tile.
4- 2000 sharpnels will hit this guy, thats 2000 times you will need to roll 1d1000 to see where you hit.
5-Imagine you hit a high-bone with all sharpnels, you go to the table to find the damage. Imagine the enemy has also no armor, your penetration the granade penetration value at this distance from the enemy is 2.6. At the game the high-bone table there is a part for hits with 2.3 penetration value and the next one is for hits with 4.0 penetration value. At this specific situation/table the game tell ther is a 80% chance the bullet will be deflected, so if you roll less than 8 in a (0-9 roll) so you find the damage using 2.3 pen and then go tigh flesh table with a pen of 0.3

So
1 1d100
2001 1d10
1 1d6
2000 1d1000

...

>Stop shitting up this hobby.
Yes its the pol ones that are shitting gaming and tabletop gaming

Why are there multiple gifs of Boogie chimping out at WoW games? Shitty sore loser?

It's because he's a good actor! It's all staged!

The reason I never trust online dice. Adventurer quest on qst, 1d100. Rolling charisma checks to talk our way into a gang headquarters. MC weakling and two npc's. They have gathered almost everyone for an emergency meeting to talk about some unknown (us) party killing their guys. Literal hundreds of badass gangers in one place. Charisma bonuses out the ass for +20. First two user rolls only.

Try convincing door guards we are from higher gang theirs reports to and to let us in for the meeting. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha

Guards take us inside but we tell them they can't just leave their post and to return to the door. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha

One guard leaves while other refuses to leave us so "they can vouch for us" and other security does not so shoot us. We start taking shit about their security training and order him to take us to the security control section. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha.

Get to security control room and talk to guards through bulletproof glass door. Fuck it. We go on rant about who we are and how shitty the security is. Command them to open the door for further inspection so we can bring it up to gang boss. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha.

They let us in with weapons drawn just in case. First guard leaves to report to boss that we are here. We order security to explain the entire security system of the hq and God help you if we find more problems. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha.

They tell us everything. Blast doors, fire control systems, remote mines and hidden turrets. We thank him, then shoot both guards and kill them in first round. Go to control console. Roll computer check, nat 100. Shut all blast doors, activate all turrets, remove fof registry. Watch from monitors as turrets and mines slaughter hundreds of panicking gangers.

Boss gangers fights his way to the control room and we confront him in the hall. He is bloodied and alone. Order him to give up locations of the gangers in rest of city for his life, or die here. Nat 100.

/pol/ die in a fire

Boogie has a character he plays named Francis which is your typical neckbeard autist turned up to 11.

The gifs of him freaking out are pretty much all staged with him acting as Francis.

Yeah, sure, because it's /pol/ that shits up the hobby, not people like boogie.

>that person should be killed just because
>"you shouldn't say things like that"
>autismo rage about 'free' speech

I guess you're lowly educated. It's allright, not everyone has the means to understand empathy.

This happened to me once, as the GM.
After the second crit, and everyone at the table cringing and losing their shit, someone shouted "Holy shit stop using that die". It had something of a reputation because when I was a player it tended to give me shit rolls, but once I took over DMing it liked to crit people.


So I got one off a player and rolled it for the final crit. Very nearly caused a TPK, after someone got carted off by a Cadaver Collector.

Where did I say that he should get killed?

>playing a game full roll players
>everyone is getting crits and confirming them left and right for months
>get 3 natural 20s one game
>roll 3 natural 1s to confirm

I do not know why the dice gods hate me.

My hobby is totally unaffected by other people playing their games in whatever way they wish. I play with people I want to play with. On the top of that, something lke 75% of the people on this board are more or less overseas from me so I really couldn't care less.

I'm just annoyed by alt-right retards pretending that their meme-ideology of unrealistic and unsensible policy propositions could function. The world would be a better place if all of them did like their junkie saviour herr hitler and shot themselves.

But it doesn't affect my hobby. Just the quality of random discussions on a tadzikistani hair-braiding board

The pol types are the only ones I have ever run into, probably because they are the only ones that really want you to know how they are totally not cucks. Meanwhile, the obvious SJW types do the normal human thing of playing games and avoiding the pol peacockery and if they do say something it must be to their friends or groups and not whoever the fuck will hear them.

Not providing things needed to stay alive is killing. Not providing food kills people, not providing water kills people, not providing healthcare kills people.

Combine this with
>He's degenerate anyway. Not for long without obamacare, though.

There is an implication

have you played with progressive types irl? we've had a GM make really awkward comments about misogyny & racism that were totally perceived rather than real, and it ruined the game and made it insanely uncomfortable for everyone trying to play

Oh, so if he's not able to buy food or support his lifestyle, he has to be fed and healed at the expense of other people?

his youtube channel brings in plenty of shekels, don't worry

While the different sums you can get have different probabilities, each combination of die results are equally likely to occur. There are simply more combinations that total certain numbers (like 7 with 2d6).

Then why does he care about it in the first place? I wouldn't dive a fuck about him if it wasn't his "gibe money now I'm poor and dying!".

Any combat rolls made by the Mentalist, in any session.
I and the other player watch him roll, like fucking HAWKS, and he still Open Rolls at least once on nearly every combat roll. And when those rolls are his Psychic Railgun attacks, things usually end up dead in one, unless they're a Damage Resistance creature.

I donno, because he's a fat greedy slob? It's hard to say.

Also, yes, he should be cared for if he can't buy food. What bizarre, malevolent world do you live in where people unable to afford food should be left to starve even though the state could support them?

>could support them?
Except it couldn't?

Again, what hellhole do you live in where the state can't support the poor?

Where is the state supposed to get money to support them? If he wants support, he can create a project on patreon or whatever, so he could get money only from people who want to give it to him, like you.

Rolling 24 4+ saves on my ard boyz back in 40k 5th ed

Nobody said he should be killed. People said he should suffer the consequences of his dreadful diet and lack of exercise. It's just that he's so fucking fat that those consequences could well be death. Are you fat?

i dont think feeding himself has been a particular struggle in his life so far

I have only played with "real" progressive types - the ones who live out in the middle of the country and care about the environment and standards of living, but are not solely focused on identity - but not someone who finds identity issues extremely important to themselves. I have a few friends online and off like that, but they don't play traditional games. But pretty much no matter what game it is I can go into a LGS or GW and frequently find a pol-type, especially after Obama got elected and even more so after Trump.

The closest thing that happened was someone saying they couldn't deal with vivid descriptions of the grotesque gore in a section of a campaign so we adjusted.

I once rolled 186 on 5d6 with exploding die.

To resist a thermal detonator.

At point blank range.

That was used by our backstabbing shitlord that guy.

Who raged for over an hour about how it was impossible to survive a thermal detonator at point blank.

>mfw

Using an autogun in Dark Heresy 1e, against Orks. Standard ammo.
- First hit: Roll high damage. No damage to Ork.
- Second: Roll low
- Third: Can't really remember. No damage.
- Forth: RF. Roll so many 10s that the GM tells me to stop rolling, as I'd already rolled more than enough to take it from full health to 10+ critical damage.

GM was using a crit fail rule. Roll a nat 1* and it's a crit fail. For players this meant we just rerolled via fate points. But when an enemy got a nat 1 on its dodge roll, it knocked itself out on a nearby wall.

But nothing as bad as playing XCOM.


*Worst possible result in Dark Heresy.

Righteous

Yeah, it even says that in the spell description

>*Worst possible result in Dark Heresy.
Wat. DH is d100 roll under. Nat 1 is the BEST possible result.

Rolled 4 Nat 20s in a row to completely ruin the day of an assassin that seriously pissed off my PC for murdering one of his close friends.

This was after said PC swore a blood oath to kill said assassin, so we joked that my dice took the oath very seriously.

That said, I found my d20 is very dramatic, and tends to roll a stupid amount of 20s and 1s whenever it would make things interesting or funny.

Oh yes, my bad. 100 is worst possible result, and that's what the NPC rolled.

Not sure how I fucked that up. Thanks for correcting me.

To rub it in his face the character specialized in riding blast waves after that.

Which surprisingly came in handy a lot.

>bring /pol/ shit into an unrelated thread
>get told to fuck off
>b-but SJWs!

Fuck off. This was supposed to actually be about Veeky Forums stuff and unlikely rolls, not yet more politics bullshit from either side.

Welcome to nu/tg/.

/pol/tards killed Veeky Forums.

>Where is the state supposed to get money to support them?
Taxes.

This is why I've started to try and move away from player death when the story allows for it. It's boring and frustrating as shit.

Lot more interesting when defeat instead results in being taken prisoner and waking up separated in a dungeon somewhere miles off from your original goal.